Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Dear Dina, I spent the entire day yesterday with you on my mind; that appointment of yours has been playing on loop in my head. I truly hope you're doing alright and that everything turns out fine. I'm wishing you a swift recovery from the bottom of my heart—please check in with us as soon as you're able. Sending plenty of positive energy and strength your way.

Megan Perez67 said:First off, hello everyone. I don't even know where to begin because so much has hit me all at once lately that I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. Three years ago, I went through a divorce after twelve years of marriage—there were good times and bad, but that’s the least of my worries right now.
I moved past that and started moving forward, though being unemployed and relying on my mom was tough, but that passed too. I met a guy who actually made me believe in love again, and just when things seemed to be looking up last year, my dad suffered a stroke and he's still recovering. I kept telling myself that after all the chaos of 2007, the storm was finally passing—I found a job, I'm planning to remarry, but! That damn "but" arrived at the end of December: my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery on Tuesday, and the doctor isn't exactly pouring optimism on us; he says the situation is grim and she'll likely need radiation and chemo. We're waiting on more test results. It’s all so foreign and new to me; I feel terrified and lost.😕
Sometimes I just want to spend the whole day crying, and then there are moments where I just refuse to accept reality, pretending none of this is happening—until my mom calls me and drags me right back to the reality I'm trying so hard to escape.

Look, honey, running away doesn't work. If anything, it just makes the hole deeper. What happened, happened, and the sooner you face this head-on, the better equipped you'll be to help your mom fight. As for the doctor's grim outlook... look, having cancer is bad enough by itself, but keep in mind that breast cancer is treated incredibly well these days; there are far more survivors than there are people who lose the battle. Doctors aren't going to sit there and promise you a 100% guarantee that everything will be perfect. No one on this planet can make a promise like that. What I can tell you is that life is unpredictable, which means the outcome of your mom's treatment is unpredictable too. But you can do everything in your power to ensure that outcome is positive. She’s going to get treatment, and she’s in good hands, but beyond the chemo and radiation, family support and love are just as vital. Without that, even the most manageable illness becomes an uphill struggle. Support and love have to be part of the treatment package. So pull yourself together, embrace the weight of being an adult, and step up to fight for her. She needs you more than ever.
If you need anything at all, reach out here for help and support. Thanks to this little forum, plenty of people have navigated their darkest hours successfully.
You can also reach out to our association at www.cancerhelp.org which was founded specifically to assist people in your exact situation.
Sending kisses. Stay strong and get in the fight.😘

Megan Perez67 said:First, big hugs to everyone. I honestly don't even know where to start because so much has hit me all at once lately... Three years ago, I went through a divorce after twelve years of marriage—lots of ups and downs, but that's the least of my worries right now.
I moved past that and started moving forward, though being unemployed and relying on my mom made things tough again, but we got through it. Then I met a guy who really restored my faith in love, and just when things were looking up last year, my dad had a stroke and is still recovering. I kept telling myself that after everything bad that happened back in 2007, things would finally turn around. I found a job and am even planning to remarry, but! That dreaded "but"... at the end of December, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery on Tuesday, and her doctor isn't being very optimistic; he says it looks bad and she'll likely need radiation and chemo. We're waiting on more test results. It’s all so foreign and overwhelming, I feel almost scared and lost.😕
Sometimes I just want to spend the whole day crying, and then other times I try to deny reality and pretend none of this is happening... until my mom calls and pulls me right back into the reality I'm trying so hard to escape.

Sweetie, I am so incredibly sorry you're going through so much heartache all at once.
I know how heavy this feels right now. Lean into those feelings whenever they come—it's actually good for you to let it out. Don't shut yourself off; lean on your new partner for support, and remember we're here too, always ready to listen and cheer you on.
So many of us have walked this path with our loved ones or gone through it ourselves.
As for the diagnosis, cancer definitely doesn't mean the end. Especially since your mom already had surgery! Chemo and radiation are standard even for early stages, just to make sure any tiny remaining cells are cleared out and to prevent anything from coming back. Try not to look at the dark side of it, because it really isn't that simple. Staying positive is the best thing you can do for her!
Let's wait for those surgical results and the exact stage first. Once you have them, talk openly with the surgeon and ask every single question you have. Just try not to overanalyze a look or a expression on his face... it's easy to jump to conclusions.
Stay strong and please keep us posted!

Hi everyone. I’ve been posting over at www.zanovidan.com, but this is my first time checking in here. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago; she’s finished six rounds of chemo and starts her fourth one next week. Thank God, she’s holding up well so far. To help detox, she’s been drinking nettle tea, but she gets nauseated about two or three days after therapy, so she barely touches it during those windows. Does anyone know of another tea that offers similar benefits?
Also, I read somewhere that you shouldn't take antioxidants for a few days following treatment 😕. Does anyone have insight on that? And what kind of antioxidants are we talking about—the ones found in food or specific supplements? Should we also steer clear of raw propolis during that time?

And just to follow up on what Megan Perez67 mentioned, my dear aunt dealt with advanced breast cancer herself. She had major surgery to remove the breast, followed by nearly 30 radiation sessions and several cycles of chemo. Today—three or four years post-recovery—she’s alive, healthy, and feeling great. Of course, that’s not a guarantee for every woman, but there is definitely hope, even in tough cases. I think for your mom, the priority right now is preparing her body for the upcoming treatments—focusing on boosting her immunity through solid nutrition and, if she can manage, daily walks in nature.
Staying informed is huge, and luckily the internet makes it pretty easy these days... I’d suggest browsing and reading up as much as you can regarding the disease, various treatments, and nutrition. Wishing you guys all the best.

Best,

Joseph Clark98 said:Hi everyone. I’ve been active over at www.zanovidan.com, but this is my first time posting on this forum. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago; she’s undergone six rounds of chemo and starts her fourth next week. Thank God, she’s holding up well so far. To help detox her system, she’s been drinking nettle tea, but two or three days after her therapy sessions, she gets nauseated by it and barely touches it. Does anyone know if there’s another tea with a similar effect?
Also, I read somewhere that you shouldn't take antioxidants for a few days following treatment 😕 does anyone have insight on that? What kind of antioxidants are we talking about—the ones found in food or specific supplements? And what about raw propolis; should that be avoided during that window too?

And just for "Megan Perez67," I want to share an example from my dear aunt, who had advanced breast cancer. She went through a major surgery where they removed the breast, followed by nearly 30 radiation treatments and several cycles of chemotherapy. Today—three or four years after being cleared—she is alive, healthy, and feeling fantastic. Of course, that doesn't mean every woman will follow that exact path, but there is definitely hope, even in severe cases. I think the most important thing for your mother right now is preparing herself for the upcoming treatments—primarily boosting her immune system with nutritious food and, if possible, daily walks in nature.
Staying informed is absolutely vital, and with the internet, we have incredible resources at our fingertips... I suggest you spend whatever time you can browsing and reading up on the disease, the treatments, nutrition, and so on. Wishing you both the best of luck.

Best regards to all

Based on some experiences I've seen, Taheebo tea and green tea have worked wonders. Both are heavy hitters when it comes to antioxidants. Regarding the idea of avoiding antioxidants during and immediately after chemo: the logic is that many believe antioxidants might bind to those free radicals (the toxins) released by the chemo that are actually meant to target and destroy the tumor, potentially weakening the treatment's impact. Now, I’m no doctor, but I find it hard to believe that a cup of green tea could significantly alter the efficacy of such incredibly toxic chemotherapy. By that logic, eating a kilo of apples would also diminish the results. Personally, I think the best approach is to just live off air and water during and after chemo.🙄I know plenty of people who successfully beat it while still drinking their herbal teas, taking propolis, or using aloe, so there you go.🤷

Hey Megan Perez67,
The mere fact that your mom actually went under the knife means things aren't looking completely catastrophic yet. When doctors prescribe chemo or radiation, they’re usually looking at it through a much more optimistic lens than when they just tell you to head home and hope for the best... Stay strong and stay tough, because the hard days are still ahead. For both you and your mom. You've got to pull together every ounce of strength you have and just believe it'll work out. There are plenty of success stories out there—even if my own parents didn't have that kind of luck—so don't lose hope. You have to fight this damn thing!
I'm also dying to know how Dan is doing. Any updates? Keeping all of you in my thoughts. Take care of yourselves!

Megan Perez67 said:First, hello to everyone... I am honestly not even sure where to begin, given how much life has seemed to collapse on me lately, leaving me feeling quite adrift. Three years ago, I went through a divorce after twelve years of marriage—which had its share of highs and lows, though that feels secondary now.
I eventually moved past that and tried to move forward, though being unemployed and relying on my mother made things difficult, even if those struggles have since passed. I met someone who actually restored my faith in love, and just as things were looking up last year, my father suffered a stroke and is still in recovery. I kept telling myself that after everything that went wrong back in 2007, the storm was finally passing, I’d found work, and I was even thinking about remarriage, but... there is always that "but." At the end of December, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent surgery on Tuesday, and her doctor isn't offering much optimism; he suggests things look grim and that radiation and chemotherapy will likely be necessary. We are waiting on further results. It all feels so foreign and overwhelming, and I find myself feeling quite frightened and lost.😕
There are days when I feel overtaken by grief and spend the entire day crying, only to reach a moment where I desperately want to deny the reality of it all, pretending as though none of this is happening to me... until my mother calls, pulling me right back into the reality I am trying so hard to escape, longing to return to a time when everything was simply fine.

Dear Megan Perez67,
It seems that when misfortune begins to strike, it tends to cluster together like magnets, making it all feel incredibly dark in short order. However, if you can find the inner strength required, you will face it... they say luck favors the brave, and perhaps if you maintain your courage, better days will follow, because one cannot truly run from life...

For me, 2007 was such an abysmal year that I hardly care to speak of it, yet I mention it here because this community helped me find the fortitude to endure it. First, my parents separated, then my mother fell ill with cancer, and she was in critical condition following her surgery. Then there was a professor who made my life quite miserable, leading to a struggle that felt just as long and painful as my mother's chemotherapy sessions. To make matters worse, both my parents lost their jobs, and we had to put our house on the market, which still hasn't sold. Just as my mother and I finally began to win those battles, I lost a friend, and my father fell ill only two months ago. But one does not surrender... these are merely life's tribulations that one must learn to confront. There is no surrendering, for cancer itself knows no surrender; it only understands a bitter fight. So, keep your head up, and be the strength your mother needs to see this through... kisses

Karen Fox36 said:Hey there.
Might give them a shot—can't really say no when they're plant-based, right?🙂

Don't get me wrong—I’m saying this with nothing but good intentions here. Just to play devil's advocate: cocaine and heroin are plant-based, and botulin is a natural compound too. Even water can be toxic if you overdo it—osmosis, right? Whatever the case, you've gotta stay cautious and talk to a pro who actually knows the patient's situation.

restlessorca35 said:Please, don't take this the wrong way, as I truly mean this with the best of intentions... If I were to exaggerate just a touch: cocaine is plant-based, heroin is plant-based, and botulinum toxin is a natural compound. Even water can become toxic if you consume too much of it, purely due to osmosis. Regardless of the substance in question, one should always exercise caution and consult with a qualified professional who is actually familiar with the patient's specific condition...

I find myself in agreement with you...

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last update.
Last time I posted, my mom hadn't even started radiation and chemo yet.
Fast forward a few months—the tumor has actually shrunk, but we've hit some brutal complications. Between the internal radiation for her lymph nodes and the weight loss, she’s just a shell of herself. She can't keep anything down—it's constant vomiting of this green, foul-smelling bile—and she can't eat or drink a thing. A few hours ago, the pain became unbearable; she ended up in the ER, and all they did was hand her some painkillers. Now, she’s just staring blankly into space, completely unresponsive to anyone around her.
The nurse isn't due to arrive with the IV infusion until tomorrow. I’m a total wreck—crying like a child, losing my mind, and honestly, just terrified. Up until yesterday, things seemed relatively okay; she was talking, drinking water, occasionally nibbling on food.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I suppose I just needed to vent to someone so I don't lose it entirely. My apologies if this is an intrusion. Wishing you and your families all the best.

Charles Newman said:Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I last posted!
The last time you heard from me, my mom hadn't even started her radiation and chemo yet.
Fast forward a few months, and while the tumor has actually shrunk, things have taken a massive turn for the worse due to some brutal complications. She had internal radiation on her lymph nodes, and she’s lost so much weight—she can't keep anything down. She’s constantly vomiting this green, foul-smelling stuff and can't drink or eat a thing. A few hours ago, she was in agony, so we rushed her to the ER, but all they did was toss her some painkillers and call it a day. My mom is just staring off into space right now; she doesn't even realize anyone is in the room with her.
The nurse isn't supposed to be here with the IV drip until tomorrow. I am a total wreck right now—just sitting here crying my eyes out. I don't even know how to process this. Honestly, I'm terrified because until yesterday, she seemed relatively okay; she was talking, sipping water, eating tiny bits here and there.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, probably just needing to vent to someone so I don't lose my mind. Sorry if I'm intruding. Wishing you all the best.

Look, that green, stinky vomit sounds exactly like bile to me. My advice? Call the ER back immediately and demand they admit her and get an IV started right away. Just handing out painkillers is a lazy, half-assed way to handle this. If she isn't getting fluids and glucose, her condition is going to spiral fast. Even if it is bile, that can only be properly diagnosed at a hospital, and if it is, it needs urgent medical intervention. You need to be more aggressive and firm with the people at the ER. Don't let them brush you off.

Angela Wright said:Hmm, this green, foul-smelling stuff sounds like bile to me. My advice? Call the ER again—and this time, don't take "no" for an answer. Insist they admit her and get an IV started. Just handing out painkillers is a lazy way to "solve" the problem. Without fluids and glucose, she’s going to crash hard. Even if it is bile, you can't confirm that without hospital diagnostics—and if it is, it needs immediate intervention. Be more aggressive. Be more decisive with the staff at the ER.

Because after she was discharged, everything just backed up—she hasn't had a bowel movement, and everything is coming back up. I'm convinced it's the gallbladder, especially since she's constantly nauseated.
Whether she takes sugar, or milk, or anything else, it's just constant nausea. She finally calmed down, but honestly, looking at those photos of her—she looks like a skeletal survivor. She's even thinner now; she can barely even stand up on her feet. It's terrifying.

Charles Newman said:Hello everyone, it’s been quite a while since I last checked in here...
The last time I posted, my mother hadn't even started her radiation and chemo treatments yet.
Now, several months down the line, the tumor has actually regressed, but she has developed such severe complications... she underwent internal radiation for lymph nodes, and she has lost so much weight; she's constantly vomiting this foul, green bile, and can barely manage to eat or drink anything. A few hours ago, she was in such intense pain that we had to rush to the ER, but they just gave her some basic painkillers and sent us on our way. My mother seems completely disconnected now, staring blank into space, totally unaware of anyone being near her...
The nurse isn't scheduled to arrive with her IV until tomorrow, and honestly, I am a complete wreck, just crying uncontrollably... I don't even know how to process this, and frankly, I am terrified, because until yesterday, she seemed relatively normal—talking, sipping water, managing a few bites of food here and there.
I'm not even sure why I'm reaching out, perhaps just to vent to someone who might understand, though I apologize if I'm intruding. Wishing you all the best...

It is difficult to find the right words to say, to make things easier for you or to let you know that you have my full support. I am so deeply sorry that everything has taken such a sudden turn for the worse, and it is entirely understandable that you feel so afraid... 😢 Still, please try to find the strength to hold onto hope, believing that as difficult as today is, things may improve tomorrow. Try to pull yourself together and resist the urge to succumb to tears, because right now, you need to remain composed and steady. Hang in there; we are all here to listen whenever you need to talk.

Charles Newman said:Look, once she was discharged, everything just backed up. She couldn't pass anything—everything was coming back up through her mouth. I honestly suspect it's her gallbladder because she’s reacting poorly to everything, even sugar.
She'll take sugar, then grease, then milk with grease, just constant grease. And she’s wasted away, God help her; looking at those photos of emaciated concentration camp prisoners, she looks even thinner now. She can't even stand on her own two feet! She's barely clinging to life.

Did you mention the possibility of bile to the ER staff? Listen, if we're talking about the gallbladder, that needs immediate intervention. If there's a rupture or a leak, we're looking at a life-threatening emergency.
Is there any yellowing in her face? I truly don't get why they didn't admit her just to stabilize her, regardless of the circumstances. I mean, they give those IV fluids for basic food poisoning, let alone for a situation this severe.😠 If I were in your shoes, I’d call 911 again and push the gallbladder theory hard.
Leaving her in this state, just waiting for some protocol-driven IV drip tomorrow, is beyond unprofessional—to say nothing of the complete lack of basic humanity.

Look, I have to be blunt: we are seriously disappointed with how little people are stepping up to join the association.😢 We all agreed a long time ago that this organization was necessary, but now that it actually exists, everyone seems to have gone silent. Just keeping the website running is expensive, and that’s before we even touch the actual projects we need to pull off. We need to print educational pamphlets about diseases and treatments to distribute at hospitals and local clinics. Sure, a handful of us enthusiasts will pour our own time into writing those materials for free, but we can't just conjure printing costs out of thin air. Don't let everything fall apart right after we've done all this heavy lifting. Help us help you.🙂 To support us, you don't even necessarily have to become official members; honestly, just donating whatever you can spare—even if it's just a few bucks—makes a difference. Or just spread the word and lobby for the association wherever you can. Even corporations and legal entities can step up as donors.

This past Saturday, we sat down with a very prominent oncologist who gave us some data that honestly made my hair stand on end. Here is the reality: we are standing on the precipice of a cancer epidemic. Current statistics suggest that one in three people will face some form of cancer... hello? One in three! Think about a family of three; statistically, one of them is going to get sick. All these new oncology departments being opened up lately are meant to handle the volume of patients we saw fifteen years ago. Today, the demand for capacity has exploded. We have to work tirelessly on prevention, education, and eventually providing support when the worst happens, and all of that comes with a massive price tag.
Please, people, show some more interest and enthusiasm. Those of you in the thick of this struggle should be the most sensitive to the issue. There was so much noise and interest when we first announced we were forming this group, but since then, only about six people from this forum have actually signed up.
The ten of us can't carry this entire weight alone. Our personal lives and careers are taking a hit because of this, but we don't regret a single second because we know we are doing the right thing.
Come on, speak up. We are open to all suggestions. This is YOUR association.

Angela Wright said:Folks, I have to be honest—we aren't seeing the membership numbers we expected for the association.😢 We all agreed long ago that this organization was necessary, yet now that it actually exists, the response has been underwhelming. Maintaining the website alone is expensive, and that’s before we even touch our actual projects. We need to print educational pamphlets about diseases and treatments to distribute at hospitals and clinics. Sure, a handful of us enthusiasts will donate our time to write these materials for free—because why wouldn't we?—but we can't exactly print them out of thin air. Don't let all this hard work go to waste right at the starting line. Help us help you.🙂 You don't even have to officially join to make an impact; simply donating whatever you can spare—even just a few bucks—makes a difference. Or, just spread the word and lobby for the association wherever you can. Even corporations can step up as donors.

We met this past Saturday with a highly prominent oncologist who presented some truly hair-raising data. Among other things: we are standing on the precipice of a cancer epidemic. Current statistics suggest that one in three people will face some form of cancer... hello? One in three! Think about that. In a family of three, statistically, one person is going to get sick. The number of new oncology wards being opened across the country is meant to handle the patient volume we saw fifteen years ago—but the demand has skyrocketed since then. We have to push as hard as we can on prevention, education, and eventually, patient support. All of this is incredibly expensive.
Please, show a little more interest and enthusiasm. Those of you most affected by this should be the ones feeling it most acutely. There was plenty of noise when we first announced we were forming this group, but so far, only about six people from this forum have stepped up.
The ten of us are going to have a hard time carrying this alone. Our private lives and jobs are taking a hit, though we don't regret a single second because we know we're doing the right thing.
Speak up. Let us know what you think. This is YOUR association.

Count me in—I'm joining. You have my full support for as long as I'm able, including helping out with the site and the servers if needed.

Charles Newman said:I'm in. Count me in. You have my full support for as long as I can manage—if you need help with the website or the servers, just say the word.

Alright, for you and anyone else looking to join the fight, head over to www.zanovidan.org. You'll find a link right on the homepage to a PDF containing the registration form and the association's bank details.
Once we hit about thirty members, we'll organize a meetup somewhere so we can actually put faces to names and divvy up responsibilities based on what everyone is good at. This association needs to establish branches in other cities and towns across the country, too; honestly, the need for us is probably even greater in those smaller communities. We’re also planning to hit the media soon, which should hopefully give our numbers a bit of a boost.
Let's go, people—this is a battle for everyone!👍

@administrators and moderators:
Am I allowed to add the link to the association's website in my signature?

Angela Wright said:@administrators and moderators:
Am I allowed to add a link to the association's website in my signature?

As far as I'm concerned, you can absolutely do that! It isn't some commercial advertisement, after all.

Just set it up so it says click here, like www.xxx.com
In my experience, using the first option definitely grabs more attention!

jadesailor14 said:If you ask me, you can absolutely do that—it’s not some big commercial advertisement, after all.

Just frame it like click this link, something like www.xxx.com
In my experience, that first approach definitely grabs more attention.

Alright, thanks.👍

Hello everyone, I suppose I am checking in once again. To be honest, I am at a complete loss. A few days ago, they confirmed that my father suffered a stroke. Because of that, his entire right side is paralyzed, though he can still grip things quite tightly and move his left arm without much trouble. However, this inconsistency just makes everything more complicated, and I really don't know what to make of any of it anymore. He has already dealt with so many health issues. Now, because of this stroke, his third surgery is being pushed back indefinitely, which leaves us facing the very real danger of that aneurysm rupturing again. He spends most of his time sleeping, even though he has started opening his eyes more frequently lately. He hasn't spoken a word yet. I am truly terrified, and I feel completely adrift. I find myself blaming the doctors for how everything else has unfolded, especially since they refused to send him for a CT scan after the first surgery, despite the fact that he complained of pain just as intense as it was before the procedure. The poor man is absolutely exhausted; they're at the point where they don't even know where to place his IV anymore. I am only 15 years old, and I feel like I have no idea what to think or who to turn to for advice or even just to vent. On top of all this, school is becoming an unbearable distraction; I simply cannot concentrate on anything, and I feel utterly broken. I do not mean to burden you all, but I felt the need to pour my heart out to someone. My best to everyone, and I hope you all stay healthy and find strength in your own struggles.