Alright everyone, sorry, I’m going to pivot away from the weekend discussions for a second...
Ever since my sister was reading Blaise's post over the phone on Friday night just to give us all a good laugh, I've been waiting for Monday to check back in (yeah, yeah, I'm stuck without internet at home because of AT&T, so I'm just waiting for the next
provider to show up on my street).
So, as of Friday, my mom and I are officially roommates.
Even though we just moved from one neighborhood in the city to another, Mom acts like she just relocated to rural Memphis... or maybe Afghanistan... depending on how you look at it!
When she watches the news and sees men carrying weapons, she turns to me and asks if there’s any "unrest happening around here" too...😲
She stares out the window and tells me she really thought being on the 4th floor would give her a better view of the Mississippi River.
I even got a compliment because she thinks the choir and orchestra playing in my living room is way better than what she had back in her day, since some program called "my player" or whatever was on TV...🤣
We’re slowly learning her specific language and her weird way of making associations; sometimes I catch myself having an "aha moment" after a few hours because I finally realize what she actually meant by some nonsensical thing she just blurted out.
And honestly, no matter how heavy and serious things get, my sister and I ended up laughing so hard with Mom several times this weekend.
I want to say to anyone who is sick, or whose loved ones are sick, but still has their wits about them: be happy about that. I don't mean to diminish anyone's pain, but this combination of physical and mental decline is truly one of the worst things a person can go through.
On the flip side, with almost every type of cancer, you deal with the physical pain and the crushing awareness of the diagnosis, the bad prognosis, and the weight of the situation—but that isn't the case with Mom, so sometimes I think maybe it's actually better this way.🤷
I stumbled upon a great old post by Angela Wright. Thanks again for the advice; everything you said is spot on.
Angela Wright said:I know that feeling of helplessness, constantly asking yourself if you did everything you could. I think the best thing is to just be who you've always been and try to keep daily life as normal as possible, as much as you can. Treat the illness or the treatment like a chore you just have to get done, and never, ever show despair or tears to the disease itself. When you truly feel weak, go into the bathroom, turn on the shower, grab a pillow, and scream into it. Screaming used to release me. Afterward, I’d feel peaceful and just lighter inside.