Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Elizabeth Collins60 said:Has anyone else dealt with an insane increase in appetite from taking steroids? My dad just eats and eats; he’s hungry 24/7. Plus, his face is getting super flushed and red. Has anyone noticed this or seen it happen when someone's been on them for a while?

My mom's been on steroids since she first got her diagnosis—about 5 months now, with just a few short breaks, and her dosage changes all the time. She’s dealing with the exact same symptoms you mentioned: an unbelievable appetite, facial redness, and swelling.

Angela Wright said:Unfortunately, beer—or any kind of alcohol for that matter—is off the table for anyone dealing with brain tumors. They’re usually on anti-epileptic meds, and if you actually read the fine print on those prescriptions, they strictly forbid consuming any alcohol whatsoever.
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I actually went looking through the Mythology instructions recently because of what you mentioned, but I couldn't find anything about an alcohol ban. My mom likes having a tiny bit of red wine every now and then with lunch (we're talking really small amounts), so now I'm stuck wondering what the move is. 😕
We just let her have it since it's supposedly good for her blood, plus she can't stand beet juice anymore—she used to drink it during chemo when she was feeling sick, so now she just associates the taste with feeling miserable...

brightgardener8 said:I actually went looking through the Mythology instructions recently because of what you mentioned, but I couldn't find any mention of an alcohol ban. My mom enjoys having a little red wine every now and then with lunch (just a tiny bit), so now I'm stuck wondering what to do about it. 😕
Let her have it if it’s good for her circulation. Just swap out the beet juice—she can't stand that stuff anymore since she associates it with feeling sick during chemo.

To be honest, I haven't dug through the fine print myself, but when she was prescribed the medication, we were told she shouldn't even come close to alcohol. Since Mythology is a barbiturate and those things are habit-forming, you know they aren't supposed to mix with booze—I think I actually saw a movie once where a woman overdosed because of that exact combo. Mom asked specifically about cherry preserves because she loves them, and the doctor basically said it's better to skip them too.
Just ask the doctor to be safe. At the very least, make sure she waits a long time after taking the Mythlogy before she touches that wine.

Elizabeth Diaz60 said:Lately, my mom has been having a hard time swallowing pills, which includes her propolis supplements. Does anyone know of an alternative or a different format, maybe a liquid version? Also, what kind of effect would she get if she just took the powder inside the capsule?

I have the exact same issue with my mom, so I can't give her the whole capsule either. What I do is crack them open, shake the contents into a small bowl, and mix it into some yogurt. I've tried "eating" it this way myself, and honestly, the taste isn't bad at all—it’s just a little sticky. It actually has a flavor profile similar to honey, just without the sweetness.
I tried mixing it into tea or juice before, but it just ends up sticking to the sides of the glass. Yogurt works much better because the texture coats the powder and blends it right in. If the flavor still bothers her, try using a fruit yogurt, something with active cultures like an AB culture.
So don't sweat it; just give your mom the propolis directly from the capsule.
With my mom, I just crush everything—the meds and the propolis—into a fine powder using a mortar and pestle, mix it with yogurt, and feed it to her with a spoon. It saves us both the headache of struggling with swallowing. I actually saw nurses doing this exact thing in the hospital for patients on feeding tubes.

We’ll definitely give that a shot! Thanks😘

The weird thing is, he’s taking tons of calcium along with Vitamin D, yet his calcium levels just keep dropping. On top of all that, he's also drinking two Pro Surfer shakes every single day

His appetite is such a roller coaster, too. Some days he’s totally fine, but other times he can barely face food, which means he ends up skipping his vitamins and all those other supplements altogether.

I'm honestly not sure... do you think we should maybe ask the doctor about calcium injections???!!!

Anyway, how's your grandpa doing??

Best!

Dealing with illness
Every woman reacts to a breast cancer diagnosis differently. There isn’t some magic, one-size-fits-all manual for handling sickness; honestly, the best way to tackle it is to find what works for you personally. Since we’ve spent years working alongside women navigating life after breast surgery, we wanted to offer a few thoughts on how to manage the mental load.

Let it out

A breast cancer diagnosis tends to mess with your entire perception of time. It can feel like the clock is suddenly racing against you, leaving you feeling like there’s just not enough time to get everything done. Almost everyone hits that same wall of questioning—asking "Why me?" or "What did I do wrong?" That constant pressure only adds fuel to the emotional fire. In moments like this, don't try to be a hero by bottling it up. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to vent some pent-up anger about being sick, do it. Letting those emotions out actually clears space and gives you the strength needed to keep fighting.

Talking it through helps

Talking about the diagnosis, the fears, and the messy parts always helps. Whether it’s your husband, a close friend, or someone who has already walked this path, having a sympathetic ear is vital. The catch is that you actually have to be willing to open up and share what you're feeling. Sometimes, the people closest to you aren't necessarily the best listeners—they might be too emotionally involved to be objective. In those cases, talking to someone outside your immediate circle, like a volunteer or a therapist, might be the better move. If you have questions or just need to talk, feel free to reach out to us on any workday between 9 AM and 3 PM at 555-0199 or shoot us an email at: priska0@net.hr.

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vividowl10 said:We’ll definitely give that a shot! Thanks😘

The issue here is that he's consuming massive amounts of calcium along with Vitamin D, yet his calcium levels continue to drop. On top of all that, he's drinking two Pro surfer drinks every single day.

His appetite is hit or miss; some days he’s fine, and other days he can barely eat a thing. When those bad days hit, he skips the vitamins and supplements entirely.

I'm honestly not sure—should we be asking his doctor about calcium injections?!!!

How is your grandfather doing?

Best regards!

In my opinion, if his calcium is actually low, he really ought to be receiving intravenous calcium gluconate or some similar medication...

Handling Family and Friends

Don't fall into the trap of thinking you need to shield your spouse, kids, or friends from the reality of your illness. Think of it this way: your partner is likely worried sick and probably has a million questions they’re too afraid to ask. Even little kids are incredibly perceptive—they’ll pick up on shifts in the atmosphere before you even say a word. If you shut your loved ones out, you’re just inviting anxiety and helplessness to take up residence. Being upfront helps everyone navigate this new normal together.

The Power of Touch

The more transparent you and your partner are with each other, the better you'll handle everything from daily trust to intimacy. Even if your libido isn't exactly what it used to be, that doesn't mean you should stop being physical. For a lot of people, dealing with a health issue actually makes them crave closeness even more. Hugs, affection, and simple warmth become essential anchors for both of you right now.

A few ways to face your illness head-on

Lean on the people you can actually count on
Surround yourself with folks who actually make you happy
Be honest about your fears and the hurdles you're facing
Keep doing the things you genuinely love
Wear bright colors and make sure to carve out some "me time"
Pay attention to the little things that make life worth living
Pick out some flattering lingerie
Stay open to affection and warmth

We have a massive problem...

A few months ago, Mom was diagnosed with bronchogenic adenocarcinoma...

And honestly, just like before the diagnosis, she wasn't showing any typical symptoms or issues, aside from being exhausted and looking pale...

But since she was anemic, things actually improved significantly after a blood transfusion...

After her second round of chemo, she even gained about 10 pounds because she finally started eating normally again...

All in all, she feels great. She keeps telling us she feels like she doesn't even have lung cancer

She isn't experiencing any distress at all...

This past Monday, she finished her third round of chemo, and I can happily report that everything went perfectly smooth... she’s handling the treatments incredibly well. The only thing bothering her are those oral chemo pills she takes at home after the sessions... they often trigger diarrhea, nausea, and ringing in her ears...

But that usually clears up within a day or two...

So, here's the catch... because she's feeling so good, it has led to that classic bit of human stupidity—one of our greatest flaws—where we basically sabotage ourselves...

She started smoking again.

At first, she started doing it behind our backs...

We tried talking to her... first gently, then more directly by laying out exactly what could happen next... but basically, nothing sticks.

Her response to everything is just: "I can't do any more damage than I already have"...

While it's technically true that she can't cause more damage than the cancer already has, while she wasn't smoking, her recovery was phenomenal... even her diagnosis after the second chemo showed that the tumor mass was receding.

Her blood work was fantastic considering the diagnosis, and overall, the doctor was extremely pleased with her progress.

What *can* hurt her is that this could stall or completely derail her recovery and accelerate the disease's progression...

And even though she’s accepted the illness very realistically—she hasn't fallen into depression and is facing everything quite bravely—this smoking habit is just making things harder for herself...

How do we handle this??? Is it even worth trying to forbid it or anything? Because I know if we try to ban it, she'll just start hiding it... and given the diagnosis, I don't have the heart to fight with her and make things even more difficult...

I simply don't know what to do...

I think one of the main issues is that she isn't fully aware of what kind of tumor she's dealing with, because none of the doctors have told her exactly what to expect...

Everyone is being vague, hedging their bets and saying it all depends on her... which is true...

And she has drawn the conclusion that her cancer isn't actually that serious.

Now I'm torn: is it better to let her live in that belief, or would it be better if the doctors told her exactly what's coming...

On one hand, it might be better this way because she has the will to fight... but on the other, it isn't good because she's giving herself too much leeway.

Ever since she started smoking, her face has gone pale again and the coughing has returned...

When she wasn't smoking, she wasn't coughing at all and had such a beautiful complexion... you couldn't even tell she was sick... the only sign was that she'd shaved her head because her hair started falling out after the chemo.

Other than that—her general condition, her diet—you couldn't see any signs of illness...

But now that she's smoking, she's slowly starting to look like a very sick person again...


What should we do??????

Elizabeth Diaz60 said:Lately, my mom has been having some trouble swallowing pills, which includes her usual propolis capsules. Does anyone know if there's an alternative or perhaps a different format, like a liquid version? Also, what kind of effect would she get if she just swallowed the contents of the capsule directly?

First things first! You can actually pick up a propolis tincture at most local pharmacies. It’s basically a hydroalcoholic solution containing about 25% propolis extracted in alcohol and roughly 5% beeswax. These tinctures usually come in half-pint bottles, so it's definitely a liquid option.

Hey everyone, I'm checking in too! Honestly, I don't have much profound insight to offer right now. Life is just moving along as it always does, and we're all just finding our way through it. In any case, wish me luck!

When dealing with lung cancer, papaya tea can actually be quite helpful. I'm talking about drinking about 200ml three times a day... honestly, there are even cases where it shows results with metastases. Unfortunately, my sister was a heavy smoker who stubbornly refused to kick the habit...

For vividowl10:

Thanks for asking about my grandfather. He's doing a bit better today than he has over the last few days; his fever has finally broken, which is such a huge relief for all of us. It turns out he has pneumonia, specifically affecting the lung lobe where the cancer is located. He’s currently on a cocktail of antibiotics and is slowly starting to find his appetite again.
Regarding that issue with calcium absorption, I know that diets high in fiber can actually hinder how much calcium the body takes in. I thought that might be worth mentioning—for instance, if she's eating a lot of spinach or chard. I really hope you guys can figure out a way to get his calcium levels back up; we're all here thinking through this together, and hopefully, a few heads are better than one.

For Timothy Morgan38:

My grandfather also has bronchial cancer, and he’s been a heavy smoker since he was eleven years old. We actually did more harm than good by trying to shield him from the harsh reality of his diagnosis. After his chemotherapy sessions, he started acting, well, let's just say he became a bit reckless. Because he felt okay, he would overexert himself far beyond what he should have—doing things like mowing the lawn in the yard and stuff like that. Then he'd get completely exhausted, sit somewhere right in the middle of a draft, grab something cold from the fridge, or decide to drive out of town for a few days to visit his sister... and his immune system was just non-existent. That led to a bout of pneumonia that left both our family and his doctors scratching our heads for seven days, wondering if it was just an infection or if the tumor had progressed enough to overshadow the lung lobe. I truly believe it's better for him to know the full truth; usually, once people move past the initial shock, they find the strength to actually fight. We did the same thing, and I personally kept hiding the actual costs of certain medications from him. He thought everything was so inexpensive that he'd spend money on other things, like home renovations, while the rest of us were pulling our hair out trying to figure out how to balance the budget. I didn't feel capable of telling him at the time, but looking back, I realize my father did the right thing by having that honest conversation with him.
So, I suspect your mother might act a bit stubborn too, but she might actually tackle the problem head-on if she's fully aware of the situation. Ultimately, though, that's a call for you and her family to make, since you know her best.

Best wishes to everyone!! 😘

bluewalker30 said:With lung cancer, papaya tea can actually be quite helpful. Having about 200ml three times a day... apparently, there are even results seen with metastasis... unfortunately, my sister was a heavy smoker who stubbornly stuck to her habit...

I just had a heavy conversation with my mom... calm, yet incredibly charged...

And I’m just hoping she grasped at least half of what she claims to have understood...

Only time will tell...

I just really don't want her general good health to slide into "not so good" territory just because of one stupid habit and a little too much "passion"...

I honestly had no idea until today how difficult it actually is to talk about these things—trying to get the point across without saying too much, or worse, saying something that gets completely misconstrued...

I’m staying hopeful... and she is too... or at least she's trying to act like it... which is a big deal in itself...

Carol Ramirez said:For Timothy Morgan38:
My grandfather is battling bronchial cancer, and honestly, he’s been a heavy smoker since he was eleven years old. We tried to shield him from the harsh reality of his diagnosis, but looking back, we only ended up making things worse... After his chemo sessions, he started acting, well, let's just say he was being incredibly reckless. He felt "fine," so he pushed himself way past his limits—doing stuff like mowing the lawn in the yard when he really shouldn't have. Then he'd get completely wiped out, sit right in a drafty spot, grab something cold from the fridge, and decide it was a great idea to drive out to visit his sister for a few days... His immune system? Nonexistent. It led to a bout of pneumonia so severe that for seven straight days, both our doctors and the family were left wondering what was actually happening—was it just an infection, or had the tumor progressed enough to overshadow a lung lobe? It's better if they know the truth. Once people get past that initial shock, they usually snap out of it and actually start fighting. We should have done the same, and I personally made the mistake of hiding the actual cost of his medications from him. Because he thought everything was cheap, he kept spending money on other things, like home renovations, while the rest of us were pulling our hair out trying to figure out how to balance the budget... I couldn't bring myself to tell him at the time, but now I realize my father did the right thing by finally having that honest conversation with him.
So, I honestly think even your mother might throw a bit of a tantrum if she actually realized the gravity of the situation... maybe if she fully grasped what's going on. But look, that’s ultimately on you guys. It’s up to her family to weigh the options, since you're the ones who know her best...

Helloooooooo everyone!! 😘

That’s exactly my line of thinking too... As much as it hurts to hit people over the head with the brutal truth, there’s really no point in sugarcoating the reality of things either... Which is why I shared just how draining today's conversation actually was...

I just can't wrap my head around why the doctors didn't at least say SOMETHING...

All she was given was the diagnosis and how many rounds of chemo they have planned... and that was it. Nothing more...

She hasn't been told how serious this situation actually is. No guidance on how she should be acting, no distinction between what's good for her and what's bad... nothing at all...

She’s fully aware of her diagnosis... But she doesn't even realize how serious this diagnosis actually is...

It feels like every doctor out there is acting like they’ve completely lost their minds... She asked point-blank for a prognosis from her specialist over in Jordan, then went to her primary care physician, and even checked in with her next-door neighbor who happens to be a surgeon... Nothing makes sense...

One guy responded the moment he saw the diagnosis... It’s really not that big of a deal...
The second one replied: It all boils down to you... and whatever kind of internal chemistry you're running with...
The third one gave us the exact same answer as the second...

Helloooooooo! Is everything okay? Seriously, we aren't talking about a sore throat here!!! There's no need to panic and overwhelm the patient, but then again, you can't exactly treat this like a minor hangnail either...

Not one single soul even bothered to mention what would actually be good for her... you know, like some fresh mountain air, a breeze by the ocean, long walks, a little rest, blah blah blah... Anything at all... just so they know what’s actually worth practicing...

I was thinking about taking her and my dad down to the coast for a few days, just to give them a break from this soul-crushing daily grind... but then again, I’m not sure if that’s actually a smart move...

Does anyone actually know if breathing in that salty ocean air is good for you, or should I just stay far away from the coast...?

And if anyone happens to know some basic guidelines that might help her feel a little better...

At least her condition is actually looking good. She says she feels like she doesn't even have cancer and isn't dealing with any symptoms... I just really hope this state lasts as long as possible...

So, what exactly should we be doing to keep things from sliding back... if we actually want to maintain this status quo?

1. Kick the habit (this one’s going to be a struggle, but let's hope it actually works)
2. Get some rest (no issue there—they’ll nap the second they feel even a hint of fatigue)
3. Eat a decent meal once in a while
4.........
5.....
6.....

What else am I missing?

Thanks

Hey everyone

After doing a ton of research down in San Diego, my mom (who's 71) just got diagnosed with a Klatskin tumor—bile duct cancer. Before I even found this forum, I was digging through sites like cholangiocarcinoma.org and http://www.cancercompass.com. The doctor here in San Diego scheduled her surgery at Mercury Hospital in Washington, D.C., but honestly? I'm not feeling great about that choice—I actually just drove back from Washington, D.C. five hours ago. I’m wondering if anyone knows which hospital is truly the best for this kind of thing, and if I have the right to insist on a different facility instead of Mercury. Also... can't this type of surgery be done in Miami (which would be just as good, if not better) since it's way easier for us to travel there? Please, I really need some advice here... the surgery is supposed to happen this Monday.
Thanks in advance

My mother is facing a recurrence of stomach cancer, and she is fighting it with such incredible strength and PATIENCE, even though she is completely in the dark about what is actually happening.
She believes her symptoms are just lingering side effects from the chemotherapy. She knows she underwent surgery to have her stomach, gallbladder, spleen, and lymph nodes removed. After that operation, she was so full of hope; she fought with a level of superhuman grit that you simply don't see in people anymore. You haven't met anyone quite like her.
That battle was already more than enough. As for this relapse and the metastasis, she doesn't know—and frankly, I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW. I have personally pleaded with every doctor and nurse on staff to keep it that way. If she realized the truth, she would lose all will to live. This way, we can cherish the little time we have left with her.
In many ways, we should all be taking lessons from her, especially regarding PATIENCE, a virtue that seems to have vanished from the modern world.
Thank God, she isn't in physical pain; it's just the constant vomiting and inability to eat. She spends most of her day sleeping.
What are we supposed to say to her? It feels as if the doctors and the medical establishment have already written her off. Like they're just keeping her on an IV drip until the end.
I am online twenty-four hours a day, glued to my phone, scouring the internet for any alternative, anything at all. I am reaching out to patients, specialists, and physicians across the entire US and abroad, desperate to find one last thing to try. We are all drowning in despair, knowing there is no cure, yet
there is this relentless drive inside me that won't let me rest; I am fighting until my very last breath. Hang in there, everyone—whatever happens, there is NO SURRENDERING.

jadepuma662 said:Hi everyone

After doing extensive research in San Diego, my mother (71 years old) has been diagnosed with: TM KLATSKIN (bile duct cancer - Klatskin tumor... before coming to this forum, I was reading sites like cholangiocarcinoma.org and http://www.cancercompass.com). The doctor here in San Diego arranged for her surgery to take place at Mercury Hospital in Washington, D.C., which doesn't feel like the right choice to me (I just got back from Washington, D.C. five hours ago). I need to know: which hospital is actually the best for this specific condition? Do I have the right to demand she be treated elsewhere instead of at Mercury? Furthermore... can't an operation like this be performed in Miami (equally well or even better), which would be much easier for us to travel to? Please, I need answers quickly... the surgery is scheduled for Monday.
Thanks in advance

I have no way of knowing how well the facilities in Miami are equipped regarding intraoperative cholangiography and their ICU setup, ASSUMING we go by what the CT or MRI shows.
If you could provide more details regarding the exact stage, type, or specifically where on the bile ducts the stenosis is located, I might be able to offer more specifics...
A hepaticojejunostomy will likely be required, and that is a delicate procedure.
On top of that, there may be a resection of a specific liver lobe, though that depends entirely on what the surgeons find during the operation.
Regards

jadepuma662 said:Hello everyone

After conducting extensive research in San Diego, my mother (71 years old) has received a diagnosis: TM KLATSKIN (bile duct cancer—Klatskin tumor). Before discovering this forum, I had been scouring sites like cholangiocarcinoma.org and http://www.cancercompass.com. Her doctor here in San Diego has arranged for surgery at the Mercury hospital in Washington, D.C., but I have serious reservations about that facility (I just drove back from Washington, D.C., five hours ago). I am wondering which hospital is truly the best for this specific condition, and whether I have any legal standing to request she be treated elsewhere instead of at Mercury. Furthermore... isn't it possible to perform such an operation in Miami—where the care might be just as good or even superior—given that it is much more convenient for us to travel there? Please, I need guidance quickly... the surgery is scheduled for Monday.
Thanks in advance

I HAVE HEARD NOTHING BUT PRAISE FOR THE ONCOLOGISTS AND THE HOSPITAL IN MIAMI.
CONSIDER THE REALITY THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BE BY HER SIDE FAR MORE FREQUENTLY AND WITH MUCH LESS STRESS THAN IF SHE WERE IN WASHINGTON, D.C. WITH AN ILLNESS OF THIS MAGNITUDE AND SURGERIES THIS INTENSE, PATIENTS ARETYPICALLY CONFINED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR SEVERAL WEEKS; THEY CONSTANTLY REQUIRE SUPPLIES, ASSISTANCE, AND MOST CRITICALLY, THE COMFORT OF FAMILY. WHEN MY MOTHER UNDERWENT SURGERY FOR STOMACH CANCER, I WAS ABLE TO SEE HER IN THE RECOVERY ROOM THAT VERY SAME AFTERNOON, WHICH PROVIDED immense relief to both her and our entire family.
ULTIMATELY, THIS IS A PERSONAL CHOICE—A DECISION FOR YOUR FAMILY TO MAKE—AND I AM MERELY RELATING MY OWN EXPERIENCE. IT IS a fallacy to assume that the absolute best physicians and facilities are exclusively located in Washington, D.C. My mother was incredibly grateful that she didn't have to travel far away for her care.

jadepuma662 said:Greetings, everyone.

After conducting extensive research here in San Diego, my mother (71 years old) has received a diagnosis: Klatskin tumor (bile duct cancer). Before joining this forum, I was scouring sites like cholangiocarcinoma.org and http://www.cancercompass.com. The doctor here in San Diego has scheduled her surgery at Mercury Hospital in Washington, D.C., but frankly, I have my doubts about that facility—I just drove back from Washington, D.C., five hours ago. I am wondering which hospital is truly considered the gold standard for this specific condition, and whether I have the legal right to demand she be treated elsewhere rather than at Mercury. Furthermore... can a procedure of this complexity not be performed in Miami? It would be significantly easier for us to travel there. I am desperate for guidance because time is of the essence; the surgery is slated for Monday.
Thanks in advance.

AND ONE MORE THING. AFTER HER OWN SURGERY, MY NIECE TOOK MY MOTHER'S TEST RESULTS, SCANS, AND COMPLETE MEDICAL RECORDS TO A RENOWNED ONCOLOGIST IN VIENNA. THE SPECIALIST REMARKED THAT REGARDING THE SURGERY ITSELF, OUR LOCAL SURGEON (WHO COMES FROM A SMALL TOWN) PERFORMED EVERYTHING EXCEPTIONALLY WELL AND WITH GREAT PRECISION.

Have you made any headway regarding ExxonMobil, nanotechnology?