Massive spoilers everywhere, and the movie is an absolute disaster. Is this why they pushed back Fast 9? It’s pathetic. Honestly, the only redeeming qualities are the Fast & Furious style action sequences and the special effects—not that you actually need acting when everything is just explosions anyway.
The plot is basically a mess of clichés—you can't even count them all. As for the cast, it’s pretty questionable, though you have to give it to The Rock and Statham. And I guess Ryan Reynolds was okay, but he basically just played his Deadpool persona again, only this time as a CIA agent working for Mr. Nobody. Typical Ryan Reynolds. It must be nice having a family you can just order on demand like Shaw. He gets a brother whenever the script needs one, a wild mother when they need more action, and now he gets a sister right when it suits the plot. Of course, she’s an adult and predictably just as prickly as he is. 👎 So, Shaw's sister gets framed for stealing some virus, and of course, Hobbs and Shaw get stuck handling the case—only to decide they have to save her. Then Hobbs falls for Shaw's sister. Wow, who could have possibly seen that coming? You could see that plot twist coming from a space station. 👎
With Hobbs' character, they’ve officially taken another step toward total space-age stupidity. Suddenly, Hobbs has this massive family out of nowhere—after all, he supposedly abandoned them 25 years ago, only to find out he has a million brothers. And get this: his entire clan, including all those brothers and his mom, lives together on one giant estate in Samoa. The most brilliant part? God forbid any of those brothers actually had a life during those 25 years. Nope. Apparently, none of them have anything better to do than sit around that estate since the day they were born. Not a single one of them has their own family, a girlfriend, a wife, or kids. It’s ridiculous. They’ve all just been sitting there for two and a half decades, waiting for Hobbs to show up so they can finally be useful. 👎
Oh, please. Of course one of those brothers has an issue with Hobbs just for "dramatic effect" (give me a break), so he stands his ground against him. But then, naturally, everyone accepts him back within five seconds because we can't let twenty-five years of waiting go to waste now that Hobbs finally showed up to ask for help. It’s ridiculous. Even Hobbs himself didn't realize he had such a massive family; only the screenwriter thought that was a good idea. 👎
Oh, absolutely. And the stupidity doesn't even end there. Of course his brothers are all total losers—which wouldn't be surprising, considering they waited 25 years just to serve as a "deus ex machina" family for Hobbs. And they aren't even the only deus ex machina in this mess; Kevin Hart is basically a deus ex machina in an even more retarded way. But wait, it gets worse. Most of them are supposedly mechanics. Not bad mechanics, mind you—actual, legit mechanics. And the part that really pushed me over the edge, where you honestly don't know whether to cry or die laughing, is when Hobbs claims his brother (yeah, the one single guy who actually stood up to him) is the BEST mechanic he knows. He clearly forgot about that certain bald guy driving a Dodge Charger and the crew he spent the last four movies with. The screenwriter completely fucked up here—not just for the Fast & Furious saga, but for everyone actually following the story. It’s a massive, monumental screw-up.
I won’t even get into the second half of this stupidity or the fact that the main villain is basically just a Terminator for the poor. The way his whole deal works is just as shaky as the rest of the plot. Even by movie logic, the way this "Terminator for the poor" functions is comically impossible and completely inconsistent. Sure, Shaw and this guy have a history. Shaw killed him, and then some scientists who invented this virus "brought him back" by implanting an AI into him. If they had stopped there, it might have almost made sense. But suddenly, this guy gets all his old memories back? That is physically impossible. He died, and his memories died with him. Plugging an AI into a body doesn't magically restore a dead man's brain. The idea that he suddenly remembers everything—even though he isn't even the same person anymore, just a machine running AI—is retarded as hell. And don't even get me started on how Hobbs and Shaw handle him and eventually take him out. It's a total disaster. Lazy, sloppy, and poorly written. 👎 What’s even more terrifying is that we’ll probably get a sequel to this absolute disaster because that mysterious character who built this Terminator for the poor apparently has some kind of history with Hobbs at the end. 👎
By the time the credits rolled, I was asking myself the same question I had at the start and halfway through: Is this really why Fast 9 got pushed back? Hollywood has officially lost its mind. 👎 👎 This movie is a 2.5/10 at best. Give me 1 point for the acting from Statham and The Rock, and maybe 0.5 for Ryan Reynolds and the overall action and effects. Everything else is a zero. Of course, this flick will probably score a 10 for all the people who go to the theater just to stare at flashing lights and bright colors instead of looking for a cohesive, logical plot. Since most people today are that brainless, so be it.
By the way—
Richard Wilson4 said:Pretty stupid name, if you ask me from a marketing standpoint. Couldn't they have picked something more connected to the original series title?
The movie is literally titled "Fast & Furious presents: Hobbs & Shaw." Please, enlighten us—how much clearer or more connected to the original saga could they have possibly made it? Almost everything about this movie sucks, but you actually managed to nail one rare thing that makes sense. You're a genius. 🤦 You could have at least checked what the movie was called. Same goes for Rebecca Scott95 who started this thread. Starts a whole discussion and doesn't even know the actual title. Hollywood has gone insane.
