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Moderation on LJES / Arranged marriages

Started by Carl Fisher7 · · 👁 5 views · 15 replies

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Participants Carl Fisher7dustyranger64Joshua Jones13urbantrucker5Sophia Thomas7Austin Harris8Nicholas Kingrustydrifter10
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#1 ·
dustyranger64 said:Look, you can't just go around cherry-picking snippets of legal code or twisting the definition of marriage to fit whatever narrative you’re pushing—whether you're doing it on purpose or just being careless. It doesn't work that way. This is the part that’s giving the moderators a hard time. Consider this the final warning. From here on out, we aren't just hitting the delete button on this kind of behavior—it’s much more permanent than that. Alright, let's call it a night on this debate over marriage law interpretation. We're done here.

Interesting take. Smod bans us from quoting or interpreting the law and marriage rights, yet here they are doing exactly that in the very same post?!...

dustyranger64 said:Legislators really shouldn't be allowed to just assume there’s a sexual component baked into marriage by default. It's a pretty bold assumption to make—as if a legal contract automatically dictates what happens behind closed doors.

And that’s just plain wrong. Plus—as the guy himself pointed out—apparently the mods are having "issues" with how they interpret the rules? So, what happens next? They just take their own version of the law and force it on everyone as if it’s some absolute, unchangeable decree. It effectively shuts down any actual discussion regarding marriage law, because at that point, nobody is going to risk speaking up if they know they'll just get flagged for it. It basically kills the conversation entirely since, naturally, everyone just stops responding. I don't get it. What kind of "problems" could the moderation team possibly be having? Because apparently, when a mod misinterprets the rules, suddenly everything is fine.

Since the rules on this forum start out like this...

Just so we’re all on the same page—here are the ground rules for the forum:
Breaking federal laws.


I’m just hoping that includes a spot-on interpretation of American law, too.

Look, I’m not going to waste my breath trying to explain why this interpretation is dead wrong—mostly because the mods have already shut that down—but if the forum editorial staff wants a real answer, they should probably go find someone who actually understands marriage law, rather than someone who just skims the legal code. It would be nice if the moderation here focused more on fostering actual, reasoned debate instead of throwing out incorrect claims and bad examples like the one below...

dustyranger64 said:You can technically call it a marriage even if it started because someone lost a bet involving a pre-planned six-month divorce. It’s still a marriage. At the end of the day, nobody else gets to step in and decide what makes a relationship "meaningful" or whether it counts as a "real" marriage or some lesser version of one.

Look, you can't exactly walk down the aisle with an ulterior motive like that. Marriage isn't some temporary contract or a deal with a built-in expiration date—you can't just add fine print and conditions to it. A marriage is supposed to be a permanent commitment. With the primary goal of making things last forever. "Till death do us part"—which, let’s be honest, is really just a fancy way of saying marriage is intended to be permanent—doesn't mean it's an unbreakable bond, since we actually have the legal option of divorce here in the States. Now, if someone enters a marriage under false pretenses—basically lying to the officiant about their actual intentions—that's a whole different ballgame. In a case like that, any commentary should really just come down to your own personal moral compass and what you believe is right. Anyway, I'll drop a guide on where to post this stuff in a bit...

dustyranger64 said:If you actually want to have a decent conversation about the moral purpose of marriage—or why people bother getting hitched at all—you’d be better off heading over to a sociology seminar than trying to hash it out on this forum.

Yeah, true—the OP actually started this thread right here, but I honestly don't see how you can have any kind of spark in a marriage without love and sex—which basically means there's zero romance involved (so, no LJES). Honestly, maybe the mods should have just moved this whole discussion over to the social sciences section or some other appropriate sub-forum.

Here’s another look at how inconsistent the moderation rules—and the actual writing standards—can be around here...

dustyranger64 said:I have never read such a massive pile of nonsense in my entire life... seriously.

Carl Fisher7 said:That whole argument you're making? It’s—how should I put this—pure, unadulterated, old-school stupidity.

There’s absolutely no difference between those two statements—even if the context isn't visible here, I'm not cherry-picking bits to make things look different than they actually are—but the mod is typing it out like it's some huge deal, while I’m getting hit with a (totally justified) penalty along with a full-blown explanation...

Tupelo said:Chatting with people instead of actually sticking to the topic gets labeled as trolling just because it drags the conversation off-track.

The exact same moderator is running interference on that controversial thread—you know, the one about arranged marriages—and they’re basically handing out free passes for trolling, insults, and straight-up harassment. Instead of actually doing their job by issuing a warning or a ban, they’re actually jumping in to join the fray. They hit me with this massive, condescending wall of text, grading my entire contribution like some middle school teacher while digging up old posts just to twist my words. It's honestly absurd.

The law is pretty damn clear on this one—it doesn't leave much room for debate. So, here’s a thought—technically speaking, sexual intimacy within a marriage isn't actually defined by the law. Which means, if you look at it strictly from a legal standpoint, it doesn't fall under the official set of rights and obligations that two people sign up for when they walk down the aisle. It's one of those weird gaps where the legalities just... stop.

The legal system just sits there—completely unresponsive to this kind of interpretation. It’s like shouting into a void while the rules get twisted right in front of you. Even if a ridiculous loophole like that actually existed in our laws—which, let’s be honest, it doesn't. I'm not going to list all the other examples—I don't want to get bogged down in the weeds here.

What exactly do we mean by "moderation" here? Is it actually objective? Unbiased? Are we even following a set of rules that applies to everyone equally?
dustyranger64 dustyranger64 Active Member
76 messages
joined Jan 2008
#2 ·
Are you serious??
I'll make this quick, because I really don't feel like wasting more pages on this thread or blowing up anyone's inbox just to explain simple stuff again:

Carl Fisher7 said:Interesting take. Smod bans us from quoting or interpreting the law and marriage rights, yet here they are doing exactly that in the very same post?!...

And that’s just plain wrong. Plus—as the guy himself pointed out—apparently the mods are having "issues" with how they interpret the rules? So, what happens next? They just take their own version of the law and force it on everyone as if it’s some absolute, unchangeable decree. It effectively shuts down any actual discussion regarding marriage law, because at that point, nobody is going to risk speaking up if they know they'll just get flagged for it. It basically kills the conversation entirely since, naturally, everyone just stops responding. I don't get it. What kind of "problems" could the moderation team possibly be having? Because apparently, when a mod misinterprets the rules, suddenly everything is fine.

Since the rules on this forum start out like this...

Just so we’re all on the same page—here are the ground rules for the forum:
Breaking federal laws.


I’m just hoping that includes a spot-on interpretation of American law, too.

Look, I’m not going to waste my breath trying to explain why this interpretation is dead wrong—mostly because the mods have already shut that down—but if the forum editorial staff wants a real answer, they should probably go find someone who actually understands marriage law, rather than someone who just skims the legal code. It would be nice if the moderation here focused more on fostering actual, reasoned debate instead of throwing out incorrect claims and bad examples like the one below...

Look, you can't exactly walk down the aisle with an ulterior motive like that. Marriage isn't some temporary contract or a deal with a built-in expiration date—you can't just add fine print and conditions to it. A marriage is supposed to be a permanent commitment. With the primary goal of making things last forever. "Till death do us part"—which, let’s be honest, is really just a fancy way of saying marriage is intended to be permanent—doesn't mean it's an unbreakable bond, since we actually have the legal option of divorce here in the States. Now, if someone enters a marriage under false pretenses—basically lying to the officiant about their actual intentions—that's a whole different ballgame. In a case like that, any commentary should really just come down to your own personal moral compass and what you believe is right. Anyway, I'll drop a guide on where to post this stuff in a bit...

Yeah, true—the OP actually started this thread right here, but I honestly don't see how you can have any kind of spark in a marriage without love and sex—which basically means there's zero romance involved (so, no LJES). Honestly, maybe the mods should have just moved this whole discussion over to the social sciences section or some other appropriate sub-forum.

Here’s another look at how inconsistent the moderation rules—and the actual writing standards—can be around here...

There’s absolutely no difference between those two statements—even if the context isn't visible here, I'm not cherry-picking bits to make things look different than they actually are—but the mod is typing it out like it's some huge deal, while I’m getting hit with a (totally justified) penalty along with a full-blown explanation...

The exact same moderator is running interference on that controversial thread—you know, the one about arranged marriages—and they’re basically handing out free passes for trolling, insults, and straight-up harassment. Instead of actually doing their job by issuing a warning or a ban, they’re actually jumping in to join the fray. They hit me with this massive, condescending wall of text, grading my entire contribution like some middle school teacher while digging up old posts just to twist my words. It's honestly absurd.

The law is pretty damn clear on this one—it doesn't leave much room for debate. So, here’s a thought—technically speaking, sexual intimacy within a marriage isn't actually defined by the law. Which means, if you look at it strictly from a legal standpoint, it doesn't fall under the official set of rights and obligations that two people sign up for when they walk down the aisle. It's one of those weird gaps where the legalities just... stop.

The legal system just sits there—completely unresponsive to this kind of interpretation. It’s like shouting into a void while the rules get twisted right in front of you. Even if a ridiculous loophole like that actually existed in our laws—which, let’s be honest, it doesn't. I'm not going to list all the other examples—I don't want to get bogged down in the weeds here.

What exactly do we mean by "moderation" here? Is it actually objective? Unbiased? Are we even following a set of rules that applies to everyone equally?

The moderator is stopping you from debating using that logic only after you spent pages telling users that the legislature regulates and mandates that sexual relations shouldn't be forced in a marriage, and then after people tried to quote you back your own words:
The legislature MAY NOT assume the mandatory existence of a sexual component in a marriage.

By bolding that word—hoping you'd catch on, since you were basically drawing a line saying no one has the right to suggest that a married couple is obligated to have sex, while you kept doubling down that no one should force it, but they need to have sex and that it's legally regulated. People tried to explain that there are adultery laws and issues regarding the failure to fulfill the sexual component of a marriage as grounds for divorce, but that doesn't mean anything if both partners don't want to have sex. It was pointless.

That led to this circular arguing loop between you and the rest of the world, which should have been shut down sooner. I'll admit, the mod messed up by waiting until then to step in.

Also, gotta mention you were pushing those definitions of what a marriage "means" onto the other thread too, claiming that any marriages entered into by people who explicitly say they don't want kids are "void" in their own way. Like, they can legally sign the papers, but they aren't real marriages.

Carl Fisher7 said:Interesting take. Smod bans us from quoting or interpreting the law and marriage rights, yet here they are doing exactly that in the very same post?!...

And that’s just plain wrong. Plus—as the guy himself pointed out—apparently the mods are having "issues" with how they interpret the rules? So, what happens next? They just take their own version of the law and force it on everyone as if it’s some absolute, unchangeable decree. It effectively shuts down any actual discussion regarding marriage law, because at that point, nobody is going to risk speaking up if they know they'll just get flagged for it. It basically kills the conversation entirely since, naturally, everyone just stops responding. I don't get it. What kind of "problems" could the moderation team possibly be having? Because apparently, when a mod misinterprets the rules, suddenly everything is fine.

Since the rules on this forum start out like this...

Just so we’re all on the same page—here are the ground rules for the forum:
Breaking federal laws.


I’m just hoping that includes a spot-on interpretation of American law, too.

Look, I’m not going to waste my breath trying to explain why this interpretation is dead wrong—mostly because the mods have already shut that down—but if the forum editorial staff wants a real answer, they should probably go find someone who actually understands marriage law, rather than someone who just skims the legal code. It would be nice if the moderation here focused more on fostering actual, reasoned debate instead of throwing out incorrect claims and bad examples like the one below...

Look, you can't exactly walk down the aisle with an ulterior motive like that. Marriage isn't some temporary contract or a deal with a built-in expiration date—you can't just add fine print and conditions to it. A marriage is supposed to be a permanent commitment. With the primary goal of making things last forever. "Till death do us part"—which, let’s be honest, is really just a fancy way of saying marriage is intended to be permanent—doesn't mean it's an unbreakable bond, since we actually have the legal option of divorce here in the States. Now, if someone enters a marriage under false pretenses—basically lying to the officiant about their actual intentions—that's a whole different ballgame. In a case like that, any commentary should really just come down to your own personal moral compass and what you believe is right. Anyway, I'll drop a guide on where to post this stuff in a bit...

Yeah, true—the OP actually started this thread right here, but I honestly don't see how you can have any kind of spark in a marriage without love and sex—which basically means there's zero romance involved (so, no LJES). Honestly, maybe the mods should have just moved this whole discussion over to the social sciences section or some other appropriate sub-forum.

Here’s another look at how inconsistent the moderation rules—and the actual writing standards—can be around here...

There’s absolutely no difference between those two statements—even if the context isn't visible here, I'm not cherry-picking bits to make things look different than they actually are—but the mod is typing it out like it's some huge deal, while I’m getting hit with a (totally justified) penalty along with a full-blown explanation...

The exact same moderator is running interference on that controversial thread—you know, the one about arranged marriages—and they’re basically handing out free passes for trolling, insults, and straight-up harassment. Instead of actually doing their job by issuing a warning or a ban, they’re actually jumping in to join the fray. They hit me with this massive, condescending wall of text, grading my entire contribution like some middle school teacher while digging up old posts just to twist my words. It's honestly absurd.

The law is pretty damn clear on this one—it doesn't leave much room for debate. So, here’s a thought—technically speaking, sexual intimacy within a marriage isn't actually defined by the law. Which means, if you look at it strictly from a legal standpoint, it doesn't fall under the official set of rights and obligations that two people sign up for when they walk down the aisle. It's one of those weird gaps where the legalities just... stop.

The legal system just sits there—completely unresponsive to this kind of interpretation. It’s like shouting into a void while the rules get twisted right in front of you. Even if a ridiculous loophole like that actually existed in our laws—which, let’s be honest, it doesn't. I'm not going to list all the other examples—I don't want to get bogged down in the weeds here.

What exactly do we mean by "moderation" here? Is it actually objective? Unbiased? Are we even following a set of rules that applies to everyone equally?

Like I already explained in your DMs, even though you can't stand before a judge and say, "Hey, marry us, but we're splitting in six months," you *can* just stay silent about it and get married anyway.

Carl Fisher7 said:Interesting take. Smod bans us from quoting or interpreting the law and marriage rights, yet here they are doing exactly that in the very same post?!...

And that’s just plain wrong. Plus—as the guy himself pointed out—apparently the mods are having "issues" with how they interpret the rules? So, what happens next? They just take their own version of the law and force it on everyone as if it’s some absolute, unchangeable decree. It effectively shuts down any actual discussion regarding marriage law, because at that point, nobody is going to risk speaking up if they know they'll just get flagged for it. It basically kills the conversation entirely since, naturally, everyone just stops responding. I don't get it. What kind of "problems" could the moderation team possibly be having? Because apparently, when a mod misinterprets the rules, suddenly everything is fine.

Since the rules on this forum start out like this...

Just so we’re all on the same page—here are the ground rules for the forum:
Breaking federal laws.


I’m just hoping that includes a spot-on interpretation of American law, too.

Look, I’m not going to waste my breath trying to explain why this interpretation is dead wrong—mostly because the mods have already shut that down—but if the forum editorial staff wants a real answer, they should probably go find someone who actually understands marriage law, rather than someone who just skims the legal code. It would be nice if the moderation here focused more on fostering actual, reasoned debate instead of throwing out incorrect claims and bad examples like the one below...

Look, you can't exactly walk down the aisle with an ulterior motive like that. Marriage isn't some temporary contract or a deal with a built-in expiration date—you can't just add fine print and conditions to it. A marriage is supposed to be a permanent commitment. With the primary goal of making things last forever. "Till death do us part"—which, let’s be honest, is really just a fancy way of saying marriage is intended to be permanent—doesn't mean it's an unbreakable bond, since we actually have the legal option of divorce here in the States. Now, if someone enters a marriage under false pretenses—basically lying to the officiant about their actual intentions—that's a whole different ballgame. In a case like that, any commentary should really just come down to your own personal moral compass and what you believe is right. Anyway, I'll drop a guide on where to post this stuff in a bit...

Yeah, true—the OP actually started this thread right here, but I honestly don't see how you can have any kind of spark in a marriage without love and sex—which basically means there's zero romance involved (so, no LJES). Honestly, maybe the mods should have just moved this whole discussion over to the social sciences section or some other appropriate sub-forum.

Here’s another look at how inconsistent the moderation rules—and the actual writing standards—can be around here...

There’s absolutely no difference between those two statements—even if the context isn't visible here, I'm not cherry-picking bits to make things look different than they actually are—but the mod is typing it out like it's some huge deal, while I’m getting hit with a (totally justified) penalty along with a full-blown explanation...

The exact same moderator is running interference on that controversial thread—you know, the one about arranged marriages—and they’re basically handing out free passes for trolling, insults, and straight-up harassment. Instead of actually doing their job by issuing a warning or a ban, they’re actually jumping in to join the fray. They hit me with this massive, condescending wall of text, grading my entire contribution like some middle school teacher while digging up old posts just to twist my words. It's honestly absurd.

The law is pretty damn clear on this one—it doesn't leave much room for debate. So, here’s a thought—technically speaking, sexual intimacy within a marriage isn't actually defined by the law. Which means, if you look at it strictly from a legal standpoint, it doesn't fall under the official set of rights and obligations that two people sign up for when they walk down the aisle. It's one of those weird gaps where the legalities just... stop.

The legal system just sits there—completely unresponsive to this kind of interpretation. It’s like shouting into a void while the rules get twisted right in front of you. Even if a ridiculous loophole like that actually existed in our laws—which, let’s be honest, it doesn't. I'm not going to list all the other examples—I don't want to get bogged down in the weeds here.

What exactly do we mean by "moderation" here? Is it actually objective? Unbiased? Are we even following a set of rules that applies to everyone equally?

The stuff from Tupelo you're quoting isn't from an LJES moderator, and they don't really have any authority there. You didn't receive any warnings or bans on LJES because of that statement, even though that's the whole reason this decision is so controversial. Honestly, what kind of strikes you got on Tupelo's PDF? The LJES mods couldn't care less, seriously. It's none of their business.

The official stance of the LJES moderators is that nobody has the right to dictate to a married couple (whether they try to force it or not) regarding their sex life or whether they should have kids. Pushing that kind of legal interpretation on LJES isn't allowed.
If the administration, or anyone who actually knows how US marriage law works better than the LJES mods, says otherwise, then the LJES mods will owe you an apology—along with one from me personally—right before I pack my bags and move to some country that's way less Orwellian.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#3 ·
Let me sum this up in a nutshell—if you’re going to ban people from interpreting the law, then you don't get to claim that right for yourself.

Honestly, I don't need your apologies. As for legal interpretations, here’s my suggestion: go find someone who actually understands family law instead of constantly putting words in my mouth—or rather, under my keyboard—that I never even uttered. That’s pure demagoguery because I never actually stated that sex within a marriage is legally mandated by the state or that it's a requirement —all I said was that the law (via family law) takes it for granted. Do you see the distinction there? I could go on about this forever—it's a waste of breath. By the way, you seem to only write comments on things that fit your specific narrative, while skipping or ignoring everything else.

It's true, Tupelo doesn't moderate the forum—I was just pointing out that different moderation standards are being applied within the same forum.

And frankly, it would be nice if you'd tone it down and stop being so rude. You're a moderator; you're supposed to be setting the example here.

Btw, you told me in a DM that the next step is filing an appeal with the oversight board, only to have you handle it again. Is that like when the fox is in charge of guarding the henhouse? If that's how it works, we might as well end this now, because it feels pretty Orwellian.
dustyranger64 dustyranger64 Active Member
76 messages
joined Jan 2008
#4 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Let me sum this up in a nutshell—if you’re going to ban people from interpreting the law, then you don't get to claim that right for yourself.

Honestly, I don't need your apologies. As for legal interpretations, here’s my suggestion: go find someone who actually understands family law instead of constantly putting words in my mouth—or rather, under my keyboard—that I never even uttered. That’s pure demagoguery because I never actually stated that sex within a marriage is legally mandated by the state or that it's a requirement —all I said was that the law (via family law) takes it for granted. Do you see the distinction there? I could go on about this forever—it's a waste of breath. By the way, you seem to only write comments on things that fit your specific narrative, while skipping or ignoring everything else.

It's true, Tupelo doesn't moderate the forum—I was just pointing out that different moderation standards are being applied within the same forum.

And frankly, it would be nice if you'd tone it down and stop being so rude. You're a moderator; you're supposed to be setting the example here.

Btw, you told me in a DM that the next step is filing an appeal with the oversight board, only to have you handle it again. Is that like when the fox is in charge of guarding the henhouse? If that's how it works, we might as well end this now, because it feels pretty Orwellian.

And since it’s already been explained to you multiple times here and even via DM, let me say it one last time:

Even if the law assumes sexual intimacy exists within a marriage, if two people decide together they don't want it, the government can't and shouldn't step in. That is still a totally valid, legitimate marriage. And that's exactly what everyone has been trying to tell you for pages now, only to be met with your excuses about how it "isn't a real marriage" because of what the law assumes.

Carl Fisher7 said:Let me sum this up in a nutshell—if you’re going to ban people from interpreting the law, then you don't get to claim that right for yourself.

Honestly, I don't need your apologies. As for legal interpretations, here’s my suggestion: go find someone who actually understands family law instead of constantly putting words in my mouth—or rather, under my keyboard—that I never even uttered. That’s pure demagoguery because I never actually stated that sex within a marriage is legally mandated by the state or that it's a requirement —all I said was that the law (via family law) takes it for granted. Do you see the distinction there? I could go on about this forever—it's a waste of breath. By the way, you seem to only write comments on things that fit your specific narrative, while skipping or ignoring everything else.

It's true, Tupelo doesn't moderate the forum—I was just pointing out that different moderation standards are being applied within the same forum.

And frankly, it would be nice if you'd tone it down and stop being so rude. You're a moderator; you're supposed to be setting the example here.

Btw, you told me in a DM that the next step is filing an appeal with the oversight board, only to have you handle it again. Is that like when the fox is in charge of guarding the henhouse? If that's how it works, we might as well end this now, because it feels pretty Orwellian.

The forum users have spent more than enough pages explaining the obvious. Between those explanations and the moderator warnings and DMs I've sent personally, I'm done. I'm out.
Joshua Jones13 Joshua Jones13 Active Member
69 messages
joined Jun 2006
#5 ·
Carl Fisher7, dustyranger64 laid out his moderation reasoning on this thread pretty clearly, so I don't really have much else to say. I'm on his side, especially regarding this point:

dustyranger64 said:Are you serious??
I'll make this quick, because I really don't feel like wasting more pages on this thread or blowing up anyone's inbox just to explain simple stuff again:

The moderator is stopping you from debating using that logic only after you spent pages telling users that the legislature regulates and mandates that sexual relations shouldn't be forced in a marriage, and then after people tried to quote you back your own words:
The legislature MAY NOT assume the mandatory existence of a sexual component in a marriage.

By bolding that word—hoping you'd catch on, since you were basically drawing a line saying no one has the right to suggest that a married couple is obligated to have sex, while you kept doubling down that no one should force it, but they need to have sex and that it's legally regulated. People tried to explain that there are adultery laws and issues regarding the failure to fulfill the sexual component of a marriage as grounds for divorce, but that doesn't mean anything if both partners don't want to have sex. It was pointless.

That led to this circular arguing loop between you and the rest of the world, which should have been shut down sooner. I'll admit, the mod messed up by waiting until then to step in.

Also, gotta mention you were pushing those definitions of what a marriage "means" onto the other thread too, claiming that any marriages entered into by people who explicitly say they don't want kids are "void" in their own way. Like, they can legally sign the papers, but they aren't real marriages.

Like I already explained in your DMs, even though you can't stand before a judge and say, "Hey, marry us, but we're splitting in six months," you *can* just stay silent about it and get married anyway.

The stuff from Tupelo you're quoting isn't from an LJES moderator, and they don't really have any authority there. You didn't receive any warnings or bans on LJES because of that statement, even though that's the whole reason this decision is so controversial. Honestly, what kind of strikes you got on Tupelo's PDF? The LJES mods couldn't care less, seriously. It's none of their business.

The official stance of the LJES moderators is that nobody has the right to dictate to a married couple (whether they try to force it or not) regarding their sex life or whether they should have kids. Pushing that kind of legal interpretation on LJES isn't allowed.
If the administration, or anyone who actually knows how US marriage law works better than the LJES mods, says otherwise, then the LJES mods will owe you an apology—along with one from me personally—right before I pack my bags and move to some country that's way less Orwellian.
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#6 ·
dustyranger64 said:And since it’s already been explained to you multiple times here and even via DM, let me say it one last time:

Even if the law assumes sexual intimacy exists within a marriage, if two people decide together they don't want it, the government can't and shouldn't step in. That is still a totally valid, legitimate marriage. And that's exactly what everyone has been trying to tell you for pages now, only to be met with your excuses about how it "isn't a real marriage" because of what the law assumes.

The forum users have spent more than enough pages explaining the obvious. Between those explanations and the moderator warnings and DMs I've sent personally, I'm done. I'm out.

The bolded part is basically the crux of the issue—it's what everyone has been fighting over, debating, doubting, misinterpreting, or using to insult me by calling me a demagogue or a liar.

Let me repeat (and yeah, I'd probably say it for the 100th time after the 77th): I never said that kind of marriage isn't legitimate. In fact, I explicitly stated that such a marriage *is* legal. Expressing my opinion and stance clearly didn't break any forum rules, which is why you haven't actually punished me—and frankly, there's no reason to. You don't have the right to try to discredit me or steer me toward other topics. If this thread doesn't belong here, the mods should have just moved it themselves instead of making it an issue.

Besides, I don't see much point in us going back and forth on this PDF since we could have just kept arguing on the original thread anyway. So, I'll just ask you:

- By banning the interpretation of the law while simultaneously interpreting it yourself in the same post, did you actually make a mistake?
- Do you consider yourself biased or objective? As a mod, you're supposed to be neutral.

Joshua Jones13 said:Carl Fisher7, dustyranger64 laid out his moderation reasoning on this thread pretty clearly, so I don't really have much else to say. I'm on his side, especially regarding this point:

Neither the legislature nor I am doing that. If I haven't made myself clear by now, I doubt I ever will be.
urbantrucker5 urbantrucker5 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Oct 2012
#7 ·
I’ve got a complaint about how things are moderated here on the forum. You guys have let trolling go on for way too long, letting people like Carl Fisher7 run wild at the expense of everyone else trying to have a real conversation.

The guy spent ten pages completely misinterpreting the law. Then he admitted he was wrong, but claimed he only said it because we supposedly implied something we didn't actually say. Once people would quote him directly to show what was actually said, he’d just deny he ever said it. Then they'd quote him again, call out his lies, and he’d just pivot right back to marriage laws. It was just one endless loop.

He totally derailed an perfectly fine topic, which prompted a lot of complaints. So, yeah, I’m also frustrated with the moderation here—you’ve been way too lenient with Carl Fisher7, just like you’ve been too soft on other trolls in the past.

After he started lying about what people had said—or denying his own words—the whole thread basically turned into a troll fest.

A few of us ended up complaining and just walking away from a really interesting discussion, all because of Carl Fisher7.
Joshua Jones13 Joshua Jones13 Active Member
69 messages
joined Jun 2006
#8 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:The bolded part is basically the crux of the issue—it's what everyone has been fighting over, debating, doubting, misinterpreting, or using to insult me by calling me a demagogue or a liar.

Let me repeat (and yeah, I'd probably say it for the 100th time after the 77th): I never said that kind of marriage isn't legitimate. In fact, I explicitly stated that such a marriage *is* legal. Expressing my opinion and stance clearly didn't break any forum rules, which is why you haven't actually punished me—and frankly, there's no reason to. You don't have the right to try to discredit me or steer me toward other topics. If this thread doesn't belong here, the mods should have just moved it themselves instead of making it an issue.

Besides, I don't see much point in us going back and forth on this PDF since we could have just kept arguing on the original thread anyway. So, I'll just ask you:

- By banning the interpretation of the law while simultaneously interpreting it yourself in the same post, did you actually make a mistake?
- Do you consider yourself biased or objective? As a mod, you're supposed to be neutral.

Neither the legislature nor I am doing that. If I haven't made myself clear by now, I doubt I ever will be.

Or, I guess, they could just keep it within the bounds so the thread actually functions on the US forum, which is what they did.
Sophia Thomas7 Sophia Thomas7 Active Member
183 messages
joined Aug 2015
#9 ·
urbantrucker5 said:I’ve got a complaint about how things are moderated here on the forum. You guys have let trolling go on for way too long, letting people like Carl Fisher7 run wild at the expense of everyone else trying to have a real conversation.

The guy spent ten pages completely misinterpreting the law. Then he admitted he was wrong, but claimed he only said it because we supposedly implied something we didn't actually say. Once people would quote him directly to show what was actually said, he’d just deny he ever said it. Then they'd quote him again, call out his lies, and he’d just pivot right back to marriage laws. It was just one endless loop.

He totally derailed an perfectly fine topic, which prompted a lot of complaints. So, yeah, I’m also frustrated with the moderation here—you’ve been way too lenient with Carl Fisher7, just like you’ve been too soft on other trolls in the past.

After he started lying about what people had said—or denying his own words—the whole thread basically turned into a troll fest.

A few of us ended up complaining and just walking away from a really interesting discussion, all because of Carl Fisher7.

After talking it over, the mods decided there was no need to go overboard with bans or dissecting the thread, since we can always steer the conversation back on track. If we had needed to get tougher, we would have.
Joshua Jones13 Joshua Jones13 Active Member
69 messages
joined Jun 2006
#10 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:The bolded part is basically the crux of the issue—it's what everyone has been fighting over, debating, doubting, misinterpreting, or using to insult me by calling me a demagogue or a liar.

Let me repeat (and yeah, I'd probably say it for the 100th time after the 77th): I never said that kind of marriage isn't legitimate. In fact, I explicitly stated that such a marriage *is* legal. Expressing my opinion and stance clearly didn't break any forum rules, which is why you haven't actually punished me—and frankly, there's no reason to. You don't have the right to try to discredit me or steer me toward other topics. If this thread doesn't belong here, the mods should have just moved it themselves instead of making it an issue.

Besides, I don't see much point in us going back and forth on this PDF since we could have just kept arguing on the original thread anyway. So, I'll just ask you:

- By banning the interpretation of the law while simultaneously interpreting it yourself in the same post, did you actually make a mistake?
- Do you consider yourself biased or objective? As a mod, you're supposed to be neutral.

Neither the legislature nor I am doing that. If I haven't made myself clear by now, I doubt I ever will be.

Carl Fisher7, you started out just sharing your thoughts on marriage, but then you moved toward quoting various definitions to push the idea that a sexless marriage isn't actually a marriage. You basically argued that even if it’s legally binding, it clashes with the legislator's sense of morality and ethics. It feels like you're just interpreting the law however you want.
Here is a copy-paste from one of your rather typical posts:

Now, am I truly being a demagogue? Or is it perhaps the whole notion that a marriage—contractually entered into by two heterosexual people where it's pre-agreed there will be no sex, and consequently no children resulting from sexual intercourse—is somehow in obvious conflict with the moral and ethical understanding of the legislator...
dustyranger64 dustyranger64 Active Member
76 messages
joined Jan 2008
#11 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:The bolded part is basically the crux of the issue—it's what everyone has been fighting over, debating, doubting, misinterpreting, or using to insult me by calling me a demagogue or a liar.

Let me repeat (and yeah, I'd probably say it for the 100th time after the 77th): I never said that kind of marriage isn't legitimate. In fact, I explicitly stated that such a marriage *is* legal. Expressing my opinion and stance clearly didn't break any forum rules, which is why you haven't actually punished me—and frankly, there's no reason to. You don't have the right to try to discredit me or steer me toward other topics. If this thread doesn't belong here, the mods should have just moved it themselves instead of making it an issue.

Besides, I don't see much point in us going back and forth on this PDF since we could have just kept arguing on the original thread anyway. So, I'll just ask you:

- By banning the interpretation of the law while simultaneously interpreting it yourself in the same post, did you actually make a mistake?
- Do you consider yourself biased or objective? As a mod, you're supposed to be neutral.

Neither the legislature nor I am doing that. If I haven't made myself clear by now, I doubt I ever will be.

So, am I actually just being a demagogue here? Or maybe the whole concept is flawed—you know, the idea that marriage is just this contract signed between two straight people where they basically agree beforehand that... In that marriage between partners, there’s just no sex. Period. And because of that, you won't see any kids coming from it—at least nothing born out of a real physical connection. Honestly, seeing a marriage like that discussed on these forums... it's just wild. It’s a total mess, honestly. We’re looking at a massive clash between what’s actually right and what’s actually legal. It’s that classic, head-scratching conflict where the lawmakers' rules just don't line up with basic human ethics. Total deadlock! Is it just me, or is the idea that an "open marriage" holds more moral weight than a traditional one—the kind where people actually choose each other because they're in love and want to start a family—total demagoguery? It feels super dishonest. Sure, on paper, everything stays within the legal lines, but I have my doubts about that part too. Honestly, if a regular couple walked into a courthouse in Chicago and told the officiant their actual motives and exactly how they planned to structure their marriage, I bet they wouldn’t even be allowed to tie the knot!

Of course you didn't. You were just pushing your own opinion on what a marriage should look like instead of actually trying to get it passed as law. Right.

Here’s the quick rundown:
You used to say that if there isn't love, sex, and kids involved, it just isn't a real marriage. That was your take!
You’re totally missing the point! Sure, you can think whatever you want, but under US law, the government recognizes it as a full-blown marriage—regardless of whether there's sex or kids involved. It's all legal. Period.
Look, you’re the one who started dragging legal marriage definitions into this! You actually brought up those clauses about sexual intimacy being a "partner need" just to try and back up your own argument.
Look, they made it clear to me—just because you're married doesn't mean sex has to be part of the deal. It’s just how it is!
After pages of back-and-forth arguing about chickens and eggs, you finally land on this conclusion. A marriage that just doesn't click, plus all those messy legal and ethical questions. What a mess!
Which one is the most important part of that sentence you keep pushing?
Marriage? It’s basically just the law saying a man and a woman are officially living life together. Simple as that!
When it comes to what they actually need, men and women in a marriage tend to look for different things personally and... Common ground. Things we all need.Feeling things deeply! I can't really dive into that topic here. Let's keep things respectful and stay on track!Look, marriage comes in all shapes and sizes—procreative, moral, financial, cultural, you name it. Sure, the law lays out how it's supposed to work, but honestly? Those are just basic guidelines. You can pass all the legal rules you want, but at the end of the day, no law on the books can actually dictate the real quality of a relationship. It's about what happens behind closed doors!
The whole point of marriage? Honestly, it’s hard to pin down. There isn't one single "goal" that fits everyone. It's more like a big umbrella that covers all sorts of different kinds of partnerships. Every couple does their own thing!

Look, let's be real. If there isn't even a shared desire for sex in the first place, then you can't exactly claim that the institution of marriage is being violated. It just doesn't work that way!

If you actually stuck to your guns and stayed true to your morals, you wouldn't get anywhere in this world.

Signing OFF. Catch you guys over on Smod to deal with the admins.

Edit: sorry, I'm running late—feel free to delete this.
Austin Harris8 Austin Harris8 Member
17 messages
joined Sep 2012
#12 ·
It’s just the same old story and the same tired arguments popping up again, just like in that other controversial thread. Honestly, I’m worried that since Carl Fisher7 didn't get the point over there, he isn't going to 😁
Carl Fisher7 Carl Fisher7 NewcomerOP
4 messages
joined Oct 2012
#13 ·
Joshua Jones13 said:Carl Fisher7, you started out just sharing your thoughts on marriage, but then you moved toward quoting various definitions to push the idea that a sexless marriage isn't actually a marriage. You basically argued that even if it’s legally binding, it clashes with the legislator's sense of morality and ethics. It feels like you're just interpreting the law however you want.
Here is a copy-paste from one of your rather typical posts:

Now, am I truly being a demagogue? Or is it perhaps the whole notion that a marriage—contractually entered into by two heterosexual people where it's pre-agreed there will be no sex, and consequently no children resulting from sexual intercourse—is somehow in obvious conflict with the moral and ethical understanding of the legislator...

Claiming it clashes with the legislator's morality and ethics isn't some "arbitrary interpretation"—and let's not forget what we're actually fighting about here:
dustyranger64 — everything hinges on whether the legislator assumes sexual relations are part of a marriage in the first place...
There were also cases mentioned regarding people getting married with a six-month divorce already planned. I pointed out that the law is crystal clear there—it doesn't allow it—and I added that you can certainly debate the morality and ethics of such a union, especially when the motives have to be hidden from, say, a county clerk 😁. If you feel like it, go back and read my previous posts. By the way, I have zero intention of continuing this specific debate; if anyone is confused, they can go do their own research and read up. My goal here is simply to file an appeal against the moderation. After exchanging emails, the moderator directed me to file a formal complaint regarding the restriction and redirection of the discussion by banning any legal interpretation —which is exactly what the moderator was doing in that very same post (followed by those ironic Orwellian references, accusations of lying, demagoguery, and so on). I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself, right?
Joshua Jones13 Joshua Jones13 Active Member
69 messages
joined Jun 2006
#14 ·
Carl Fisher7 said:Claiming it clashes with the legislator's morality and ethics isn't some "arbitrary interpretation"—and let's not forget what we're actually fighting about here:
dustyranger64 — everything hinges on whether the legislator assumes sexual relations are part of a marriage in the first place...
There were also cases mentioned regarding people getting married with a six-month divorce already planned. I pointed out that the law is crystal clear there—it doesn't allow it—and I added that you can certainly debate the morality and ethics of such a union, especially when the motives have to be hidden from, say, a county clerk 😁. If you feel like it, go back and read my previous posts. By the way, I have zero intention of continuing this specific debate; if anyone is confused, they can go do their own research and read up. My goal here is simply to file an appeal against the moderation. After exchanging emails, the moderator directed me to file a formal complaint regarding the restriction and redirection of the discussion by banning any legal interpretation —which is exactly what the moderator was doing in that very same post (followed by those ironic Orwellian references, accusations of lying, demagoguery, and so on). I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself, right?

Alright, it’s pretty straightforward. If a moderator feels the conversation is drifting or straying too far from the original PDF topic, they have every right to steer things back using warnings. Since you spent most of your posts trying to interpret the law, I don't really see the issue with a mod stepping in to redirect the debate and telling you to stop doing that.
I read through the thread and, honestly, I don't see anything wrong with how it's being moderated. As far as I'm concerned, I have nothing else to say. The admins can step in if they feel it's actually necessary.
Nicholas King Nicholas King Regular
716 messages
joined Jan 2023
#15 ·
Things are pretty straightforward here: when we were discussing arranged marriages, you fixated entirely on the idea of mandating sexual intimacy as a legal component of marriage. You basically suffocated the entire conversation with something that is, at its core, completely irrelevant to the actual subject matter—and in doing so, you managed to kill the thread. That whole tangent was—if I’m being honest—so incredibly tedious and pointless that it didn't even occur to me (and I'm sure others felt the same) to type another single word in response. Jebogapatak, you clung to it like a drunk clinging to a lamppost, trying to lecture everyone on what Congress intended when they drafted comment 🤦.

But wait, there's more: you also managed to be one of the rare few on this forum who straight-up ignored a direct warning from the moderators, kept pushing your own agenda anyway—and somehow walked away without any sanctions.

Since they failed to step in and react the way they should have when they actually needed to act, well, look where we are now—that thread is dead, and here we are, just continuing this endless, mind-numbing debate over something totally inconsequential.

Whatever. :zijev:
rustydrifter10 rustydrifter10 Regular
693 messages
joined Apr 2011
#16 ·
Joshua Jones13 said:Alright, it’s pretty straightforward. If a moderator feels the conversation is drifting or straying too far from the original PDF topic, they have every right to steer things back using warnings. Since you spent most of your posts trying to interpret the law, I don't really see the issue with a mod stepping in to redirect the debate and telling you to stop doing that.
I read through the thread and, honestly, I don't see anything wrong with how it's being moderated. As far as I'm concerned, I have nothing else to say. The admins can step in if they feel it's actually necessary.

Honestly, I'm just going to sit here and agree with everything the moderators and the supermod have laid out. Siddharta, if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to take a second to really digest everything you've been told here and actually think about it, so maybe try not to brush off those moderator warnings moving forward.

That's it for this thread. Locking it now.

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