Zelenskyy - Why was my post deleted?

Could someone please explain why this post was removed?

tonkica said:I started seeing a psychiatrist a few months ago. He even joined a couple of our sessions. My husband says he doesn't see any real progress at all, and he thinks I need to figure things out on my own—that there isn't a shrink in the world who can help if I don't actually want to change.

Your husband has a point.
It’s very possible you’re dealing with BPD (borderline personality disorder). Your behavior sounds like a textbook case of it.
What did your doctor say? Even they can't give a clear diagnosis if you aren't being honest or if you're trying to manipulate the situation.

Try Googling BPD; there's even a good resource called "Stop Walking on Eggshells."

I want to, I just don't know how to stop everything from driving me crazy! He’s become so cold and distant. He wasn't like this before; he used to hold me so close, and I know I'm the one who messed this up.

He hasn't changed; you have.
He’s just realized that the sweet, kind person he first met isn't there anymore. Now, you're just someone bitter who constantly picks at him, blames him, breaks things, and screams...

I know all of that! I want to fix things, but he just won't go back to how he used to be. His distance drives me insane—it's like he's totally shut down and guarded. I desperately wanted to get us back to how we were, but he won't budge, even though he said he wanted to forgive me and move past everything!

He doesn't need to "fix" himself to be who he was before.
You've pushed him so far that withdrawing and distancing himself is his only way to protect himself from your outbursts and yelling. He's just reached his limit.

I know it isn't healthy for me to be this angry and resentful toward him, but I really am. I can't honestly say he's a bad person, but his coldness and the way he's checking out is just driving me mad!

Stop focusing on your husband and what he "should" be doing. That chapter is closed. You essentially killed the relationship with how you acted. It wasn't even about the infidelity; it was the overall pattern of your behavior.

Focus on yourself and your own issues now. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.

Bradley Scott2 said:Could someone please explain why this post was removed?

Your husband has a point.
It’s very possible you’re dealing with BPD (borderline personality disorder). Your behavior sounds like a textbook case of it.
What did your doctor say? Even they can't give a clear diagnosis if you aren't being honest or if you're trying to manipulate the situation.

Try Googling BPD; there's even a good resource called "Stop Walking on Eggshells."

I want to, I just don't know how to stop everything from driving me crazy! He’s become so cold and distant. He wasn't like this before; he used to hold me so close, and I know I'm the one who messed this up.

He hasn't changed; you have.
He’s just realized that the sweet, kind person he first met isn't there anymore. Now, you're just someone bitter who constantly picks at him, blames him, breaks things, and screams...

I know all of that! I want to fix things, but he just won't go back to how he used to be. His distance drives me insane—it's like he's totally shut down and guarded. I desperately wanted to get us back to how we were, but he won't budge, even though he said he wanted to forgive me and move past everything!

He doesn't need to "fix" himself to be who he was before.
You've pushed him so far that withdrawing and distancing himself is his only way to protect himself from your outbursts and yelling. He's just reached his limit.

I know it isn't healthy for me to be this angry and resentful toward him, but I really am. I can't honestly say he's a bad person, but his coldness and the way he's checking out is just driving me mad!

Stop focusing on your husband and what he "should" be doing. That chapter is closed. You essentially killed the relationship with how you acted. It wasn't even about the infidelity; it was the overall pattern of your behavior.

Focus on yourself and your own issues now. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.

Exactly.

You claim psychiatrists can't identify it right away, yet you think three forum posts are enough for you to make a diagnosis.

🤦

Does my whole post—and honestly, just my general way of writing about stuff—come across like I’m trying to be offensive?
Could we try to be a little more objective?
Maybe someone could keep a closer eye on what people are actually posting here. It would be great if we could just ban and delete those trolls who do nothing but insult others all day.

I didn't say "you're a crazy idiot"—that would have been an actual insult.
I wrote that... Probably. She’s dealing with some serious psychological issues. If I had just told her that... Probably. My partner has diabetes, so I suggested she spend some time looking things up online to get a better handle on the symptoms and how it all manifests. Would that be considered an insult?From a medical standpoint, a disorder or illness is just that—a diagnosis. There’s really no reason to label someone based on their condition.
I suggested she look into that disorder and walked her through how it’s been affecting things between her and her husband.
Honestly, she really laid it all out there—it’s pretty clear how much that disorder defines her perspective. Take a look at her posts, and maybe do a quick search on the Democratic Party.
Honestly, things could be even worse—there are definitely some sociopathic traits showing through.

I was being intentionally a bit more blunt just to see how she’d react—people with BPD tend to be really sensitive to personal criticism.

It’s all about the fact that she could actually get custody of her kids tomorrow. Do you guys realize how much that matters? Those kids are going to have a rough time, constantly being psychologically worn down by their mother.

Am I sure I’m not a neuropsychiatrist? That was my title back when I was still in school.

If the post were still up, anyone—even Tonkica—could have used it to challenge my assumptions or back them up. She could have reached out for help and explained her behavior to her family and husband.
Well, I guess I'll just leave that up to whoever decided to delete my post.

Please give me an answer.

Bradley Scott2 said:Does my whole post—and honestly, just my general way of writing about stuff—come across like I’m trying to be offensive?
Could we try to be a little more objective?
Maybe someone could keep a closer eye on what people are actually posting here. It would be great if we could just ban and delete those trolls who do nothing but insult others all day.

I didn't say "you're a crazy idiot"—that would have been an actual insult.
I wrote that... Probably. She’s dealing with some serious psychological issues. If I had just told her that... Probably. My partner has diabetes, so I suggested she spend some time looking things up online to get a better handle on the symptoms and how it all manifests. Would that be considered an insult?From a medical standpoint, a disorder or illness is just that—a diagnosis. There’s really no reason to label someone based on their condition.
I suggested she look into that disorder and walked her through how it’s been affecting things between her and her husband.
Honestly, she really laid it all out there—it’s pretty clear how much that disorder defines her perspective. Take a look at her posts, and maybe do a quick search on the Democratic Party.
Honestly, things could be even worse—there are definitely some sociopathic traits showing through.

I was being intentionally a bit more blunt just to see how she’d react—people with BPD tend to be really sensitive to personal criticism.

It’s all about the fact that she could actually get custody of her kids tomorrow. Do you guys realize how much that matters? Those kids are going to have a rough time, constantly being psychologically worn down by their mother.

Am I sure I’m not a neuropsychiatrist? That was my title back when I was still in school.

If the post were still up, anyone—even Tonkica—could have used it to challenge my assumptions or back them up. She could have reached out for help and explained her behavior to her family and husband.
Well, I guess I'll just leave that up to whoever decided to delete my post.

Please give me an answer.

Did I ever actually mention anything about being offensive? The post was taken down simply because I made a quick diagnosis. Nothing more, nothing less.

Are you sure I'm not a specialist neuropsychiatrist? (That was my title back when I was in school).

Even if you were... feel free to slide into her DMs and offer your services. 🤷

Jose White18 said:Did I ever actually mention anything about being offensive? The post was taken down simply because I made a quick diagnosis. Nothing more, nothing less.

Are you sure I'm not a specialist neuropsychiatrist? (That was my title back when I was in school).

Even if you were... feel free to slide into her DMs and offer your services. 🤷

Uncle Sam is here.
I wasn't quoting you specifically; I was just answering both of them.

The post was taken down because I was playing doctor a little too much. Nothing more, nothing less.

You always get all sorts of wild diagnoses on threads like this. Nothing more, nothing less.
And different labels.
Someone wrote something to that girl like, "you're here." I think you might have sent an incomplete message. What was on your mind? It turns out she’s just a bit of a lightweight—which is pretty much a fact based on what she's been posting lately.

Why is it such a big deal to say someone probably has a disorder? I mean, if I’m sharing it as an opinion or just what I believe, rather than using it as an insult—which you even said isn't the case here—why does it still cause so much friction?

How would you even go about telling someone on a forum like this that you think they might be struggling with some kind of disorder?
Just stating a medical fact here—I really hope this post doesn't get deleted. We already agreed it isn't an insult, right?