Are you feeling any better?

annemaria said:Something horrific happened to me about three years ago. I was only fourteen at the time. I wasn't much of a social butterfly back then; instead, I spent most of my time hanging out with this guy I was crushing on. He was twenty. We were just friends—joking around, talking, everything seemed perfectly fine—until one day he asked if I wanted to sleep with him. Of course, I turned him down. We didn't speak for months after that, but eventually, he reached out again to explain why he had asked. Things went back to being okay between us, right up until the night he called me to meet him outside around 10:00 PM. Naive as I was, I went. He picked me up in a car and drove me to a local high school playground where four other guys I recognized were waiting. At first, we were just joking around like usual, but then John started bringing up sex and making comments about how I was still a virgin. The other guys just laughed, mocking me, saying they’d "fix that" and asking what I was so afraid of. I remember telling them, "Are you guys insane? I'm fourteen, I'm just a kid," but they didn't care. They just kept laughing while I sat there feeling humiliated. Then the tone shifted. They started telling me to "relax" and "don't worry, we won't hurt you." Panic set in. I tried to run, but they chased me down and forced me into the car. Once we were inside, two of them pinned me down. I started screaming and fighting back, but it was useless. An eighteen-year-old boy joined in, holding my hands and legs down while they raped me. All four of them. It was pure nightmare fuel. I screamed, I cried, I begged them to stop, but nothing worked. After that night from hell, I just went home. My parents had no idea what had happened to me. I crawled into my room and honestly, I just wanted to die. Even now, three years later, the trauma hasn't left me. I can't sleep at night. I'm seventeen now, and while I haven't seen a psychiatrist, I know I really should have by now. I am currently seeing a guy who is twenty-four. He knows what happened to me, but we haven't slept together because the fear is just too overwhelming. My biggest fear is that he will leave me if I don't give in to him. I never reported them... and now, I'm filled with such intense regret.

šmizly said:So, how was Annemaria feeling? Did she actually manage to recover?🍿

Don’t you dare try to pull this crap and tell me this is worth 35 points, even if some absolute lunatic fabricated the whole thing just because they have nothing better to do than invent fake sexual assaults on a forum. If it is glaringly obvious from her writing that the entire story is pure fiction, then give her a custom 5,000-point penalty for blatant trolling and delete the post immediately. Awarding 35 points for a post like this on a subforum where saying "get real" is treated as an insult worthy of a ban isn't just ridiculous—it’s an insult to the very concept of intelligence on this planet.

The guy was just looking for confirmation on what she already said in another thread—she literally admitted she had a good time. I wouldn't even give her a $35 gift card...

Comments like that have absolutely no business being on threads like this. Period.

If some woman is trolling, just report her and move on. It’s up to the mods whether they actually sanction her or not. But mocking people on topics like this? It's pathetic. I doubt anyone dealing with actual trauma finds those comments helpful or "funny." Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't think certain subjects should be treated as a joke.

There is a massive difference between trolling someone on a stupid thread about some guy peeing in a pool next to you, versus trolling on a thread where people are sharing something genuinely sensitive.

melloworca6 said:Comments like that have absolutely no business being on threads like this. Period.

If some woman is trolling, just report her and move on. It’s up to the mods whether they actually sanction her or not. But mocking people on topics like this? It's pathetic. I doubt anyone dealing with actual trauma finds those comments helpful or "funny." Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't think certain subjects should be treated as a joke.

There is a massive difference between trolling someone on a stupid thread about some guy peeing in a pool next to you, versus trolling on a thread where people are sharing something genuinely sensitive.

Exactly. I guess fighting fire with fire usually just leads to getting banned yourself. If you don't want to get kicked off the platform, maybe don't be a troll. It's pretty simple, really.

I don't really have anything to add to what Joshua Jones13 said.

melloworca6 said:Comments like that have absolutely no business being on threads like this. Period.

If some woman is trolling, just report her and move on. It’s up to the mods whether they actually sanction her or not. But mocking people on topics like this? It's pathetic. I doubt anyone dealing with actual trauma finds those comments helpful or "funny." Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't think certain subjects should be treated as a joke.

There is a massive difference between trolling someone on a stupid thread about some guy peeing in a pool next to you, versus trolling on a thread where people are sharing something genuinely sensitive.

Whereabouts explained quite brilliantly a while back why it is actually vital to call out and neutralize trolls in these specific discussions—to put it simply, trolls using fabricated stories tend to relativize and discredit actual lived experiences. A victim who has truly experienced trauma will feel a much deeper sense of distress reading an obviously fake story (which would have been obvious even without the link to that other post) than they would from reading someone pointing out that the story is a troll attempt.

The only real mistake this clueless forum user made was failing to make his allusion clear enough—he really should have provided a link to the post that proves the girl is trolling.

That whole line of reasoning—"if they're trolling, just report them to the moderators and move on"—is a complete joke, and this situation is the perfect proof: the moderator was active on the thread, didn't even acknowledge the blatant troll post, yet went ahead and banned the person who pointed out the troll—furthermore, the troll post is still sitting there perfectly fine on the thread.

With moderation like this, suggesting "just report it to the mods and they'll handle it" feels like a direct insult to anyone's intelligence.

Joshua Jones13 said:Exactly. I guess fighting fire with fire usually just leads to getting banned yourself. If you don't want to get kicked off the platform, maybe don't be a troll. It's pretty simple, really.

What’s missing here—and I mean truly missing—is any actual instruction on how this process is supposed to work... specifically, how a blatantly trollish post (especially on such a sensitive topic, mind you) gets deleted and the offending user actually gets sanctioned.

So, I guess what I'm asking is: what is a regular forum member supposed to do when a moderator handles a controversial situation this catastrophically?

Joshua Jones13 said:Exactly. I guess fighting fire with fire usually just leads to getting banned yourself. If you don't want to get kicked off the platform, maybe don't be a troll. It's pretty simple, really.

If it’s blatantly obvious that a woman is trolling—and I’m talking about someone claiming to have been assaulted when her previous posts about her dating life suggest otherwise—then why on earth hasn't she been hit with a permanent ban? Why isn't there a permanent ban for this? Why isn't any actual sanction being applied here?

As long as the mods treat this kind of fabrication as a legitimate post rather than blatant trolling, questions like "did you enjoy it?" have no business being asked in that thread.

Do the moderators on this site even grasp the definition of trolling? They seem to miss the fact that inventing a traumatic life story specifically to provoke an emotional reaction from others is one of the most brutal forms of trolling imaginable.

Nicholas King said:What’s missing here—and I mean truly missing—is any actual instruction on how this process is supposed to work... specifically, how a blatantly trollish post (especially on such a sensitive topic, mind you) gets deleted and the offending user actually gets sanctioned.

So, I guess what I'm asking is: what is a regular forum member supposed to do when a moderator handles a controversial situation this catastrophically?

Maybe take a breath? 🤷 I guess we should be allowed to consult one another occasionally instead of being expected to react instantly every single time.

Anyway, they wiped the entire thread, not just the problematic post.

Joshua Jones13 said:Maybe take a breath? 🤷 I guess we should be allowed to consult one another occasionally instead of being expected to react instantly every single time.

Anyway, they wiped the entire thread, not just the problematic post.

At the exact moment I was typing, it hadn't happened yet.

The issue isn't whether someone met the requirements or not—that's beside the point—but I honestly don't see what there is to "negotiate" in situations like this. After she recently took the lead in hijacking an off-topic discussion right on the main forum boards, the moderator here decided to apply that rather colorful "punishing the messenger" logic, which, frankly, isn't up for debate.

I've never been shy about calling out trolls—mostly because nobody likes being treated like an idiot—and if the community isn't allowed to do it, then the moderators have a secondary obligation to step up and handle it themselves. This? This certainly isn't how you do it.

Look, setting aside the fact that nobody actually reported this and the mods haven't even bothered to explain what they're announcing, why do you keep bringing up my ban from the Reddit thread? Do you even know how the subreddit rules work, or are you just looking for an excuse to take a little dig at me every single time my name pops up on the UN forums??

Nicholas King said:At the exact moment I was typing, it hadn't happened yet.

The issue isn't whether someone met the requirements or not—that's beside the point—but I honestly don't see what there is to "negotiate" in situations like this. After she recently took the lead in hijacking an off-topic discussion right on the main forum boards, the moderator here decided to apply that rather colorful "punishing the messenger" logic, which, frankly, isn't up for debate.

I've never been shy about calling out trolls—mostly because nobody likes being treated like an idiot—and if the community isn't allowed to do it, then the moderators have a secondary obligation to step up and handle it themselves. This? This certainly isn't how you do it.

No, but by the time I actually checked the thread, I just deleted it. I figured there wasn't much point in keeping it going.

Nicholas King said:At the exact moment I was typing, it hadn't happened yet.

The issue isn't whether someone met the requirements or not—that's beside the point—but I honestly don't see what there is to "negotiate" in situations like this. After she recently took the lead in hijacking an off-topic discussion right on the main forum boards, the moderator here decided to apply that rather colorful "punishing the messenger" logic, which, frankly, isn't up for debate.

I've never been shy about calling out trolls—mostly because nobody likes being treated like an idiot—and if the community isn't allowed to do it, then the moderators have a secondary obligation to step up and handle it themselves. This? This certainly isn't how you do it.

Not every moderator knows the best move at all times. So, when they aren't sure, they probably just check in with the sub-mods.

Regarding off-topic talk and starting new threads, the site admins have always been pretty lenient. If users are allowed to go off-topic, I suppose there's no reason the mods wouldn't allow it sometimes too.

Karen Rodriguez3 said:Look, setting aside the fact that nobody actually reported this and the mods haven't even bothered to explain what they're announcing, why do you keep bringing up my ban from the Reddit thread? Do you even know how the subreddit rules work, or are you just looking for an excuse to take a little dig at me every single time my name pops up on the UN forums??

And let's also set aside the fact that even after the report was made and things were clarified, your stance remained basically, "I don't have anything else to add to what Joshua Jones13 said." — without any indication that the report or the explanation changed your mind at all regarding your own moderator procedures?

It wasn't "every single time," it happened twice. I could pull out specific examples if I really wanted to, but I suppose we’d just end up drifting off-topic then.

So why keep bringing it up if it’s off-topic then?

Regarding the moderation stuff, I don't really mind admitting when I messed up and asking for a fix—something everyone could clearly see anyway.
I honestly don't have much else to say about it, other than my reaction at the time was just based on how things looked, which is exactly what Joshua Jones13 explained. I guess there isn't much more to add to her reasoning.
The thread was asking for more feedback, but you know, you can't always react to everything instantly with 100% certainty. A little report or a PM and some patience goes a long way. But I suppose it's just easier to open a whole new thread on the UN first. Fine. 🤷

Karen Rodriguez3 said:So why keep bringing it up if it’s off-topic then?

Regarding the moderation stuff, I don't really mind admitting when I messed up and asking for a fix—something everyone could clearly see anyway.
I honestly don't have much else to say about it, other than my reaction at the time was just based on how things looked, which is exactly what Joshua Jones13 explained. I guess there isn't much more to add to her reasoning.
The thread was asking for more feedback, but you know, you can't always react to everything instantly with 100% certainty. A little report or a PM and some patience goes a long way. But I suppose it's just easier to open a whole new thread on the UN first. Fine. 🤷

Now, I realize this sentence could easily be taken as a joke—or perhaps just a sarcastic jab—but I’ll stand by it: bringing it up isn't actually off-topic, because it points toward a certain pattern of exotic IOV/Bovi moderation (and, granted, we aren't necessarily talking about one specific instance here)—now, an extensive, rambling elaboration on the subject... *that* would be off-topic.

Joshua Jones13 said:Exactly. I guess fighting fire with fire usually just leads to getting banned yourself. If you don't want to get kicked off the platform, maybe don't be a troll. It's pretty simple, really.

And what exactly was the penalty for the lady who supposedly found her assault "enjoyable"?

In my view, it is utterly unacceptable that on a forum dedicated to the experiences of women who have been raped, nearly raped, or sexually abused, we see a post like that allowed to stand. Yet, someone who triggers such a post by providing a lengthy description of a "rape" that was essentially described as painful but pleasurable sex in a car is met with draconian punishment. What happened—did you delete her post? 😁 Boo-hoo.

Why on earth did you guys ban Linda Price5 over here??
The woman is absolutely spot on
Is this really happening just because she used the word damn or freaking??

I suspect it really comes down to the 'well-done steak' factor...

I’m convinced it’s because their brains can’t tell the difference between substance and style, which is honestly just an embarrassment to this entire forum

Linda Price5 said:And what exactly was the penalty for the lady who supposedly found her assault "enjoyable"?

In my view, it is utterly unacceptable that on a forum dedicated to the experiences of women who have been raped, nearly raped, or sexually abused, we see a post like that allowed to stand. Yet, someone who triggers such a post by providing a lengthy description of a "rape" that was essentially described as painful but pleasurable sex in a car is met with draconian punishment. What happened—did you delete her post? 😁 Boo-hoo.

Absolutely nothing, so she can just keep trolling if she wants.
It seems to have become the standard rule lately: you just make up a whole story, and then when someone actually calls you out on the inconsistencies, you get banned like they're "killing the messenger."

There was a similar situation recently over in the Psychology section—total fabrication too. The author, 🙄, is a notorious troll here. If you check the last page of that thread, her two old handles were called out, and yet, absolutely nothing happened.

She got a strike for being abusive when she lost her mind (if you can even call it that) after those handles were mentioned
(Oh, right, I forgot to mention... those were permabanned handles) and 🤷 nothing came of it.
Now she's facing another ban, but since she's already accumulated enough strikes, she can basically keep trolling without any real interference.

Just as an FYI for anyone interested, that thread about aggressive Sex with Zionist Kitchen was moved from Psychology to where all the other nonsense lives. So, I'll head over there now and ask how one is supposed to enjoy being raped.