#1 ·
Facing a major surgery is such an overwhelming thing, isn't it? And as the date gets closer, I can feel my anxiety just steadily climbing.
The initial shock hit me about two years ago when I first got my diagnosis. After that first wave of crying and wondering why this was happening to me, I eventually found a way to settle into the reality that surgery was my path forward. In the time since, I’ve sought out several different specialists, and every single one of them has confirmed the diagnosis and recommended the procedure.
I’ve always been a naturally upbeat and optimistic person, and I stayed pretty active right up until this illness showed up. Even after the initial blow of the diagnosis, I kept telling myself that everything would turn out fine once the surgery was behind me. Staying positive and keeping a smile on my face is just who I am. There have been those rare, truly rare moments where I’ve broken down, but mostly I try to stay hopeful and view this operation as a necessary step toward getting back to my old self after a long recovery.
But now, with only a few weeks left before the scheduled date, the nerves are really starting to take over. I can't sleep, and I just can't find any peace. I try to distract myself with all sorts of things, but my mind just keeps circling back to the surgery. I start spiraling into "what ifs"—what if it doesn't work? What if there are complications? What if the pain stays the same or even gets worse? I’ve even noticed I’m becoming snappy with my family, which is so unlike me, and I just don't have the patience for people anymore. It feels like I've lost control over my own life, and I want so badly to change that. My inner sense of balance feels completely shattered, and it seems to get worse every day. I try not to burden the people around me with these thoughts and attempt to deal with it on my own, but it’s proving to be incredibly difficult. I’m actually terrified of whether the procedure will even be successful. I’m feeling so depressed and worried lately, and I honestly can't tell if this is a normal reaction or not.
Does anyone know how to dial down this kind of stress? How can I make this easier on myself? Is there any way to reclaim that positive mindset I used to have?
I wasn't sure if this belongs in this specific subforum or the psychology section, so I'll let the moderators move it if it's in the wrong place.
The initial shock hit me about two years ago when I first got my diagnosis. After that first wave of crying and wondering why this was happening to me, I eventually found a way to settle into the reality that surgery was my path forward. In the time since, I’ve sought out several different specialists, and every single one of them has confirmed the diagnosis and recommended the procedure.
I’ve always been a naturally upbeat and optimistic person, and I stayed pretty active right up until this illness showed up. Even after the initial blow of the diagnosis, I kept telling myself that everything would turn out fine once the surgery was behind me. Staying positive and keeping a smile on my face is just who I am. There have been those rare, truly rare moments where I’ve broken down, but mostly I try to stay hopeful and view this operation as a necessary step toward getting back to my old self after a long recovery.
But now, with only a few weeks left before the scheduled date, the nerves are really starting to take over. I can't sleep, and I just can't find any peace. I try to distract myself with all sorts of things, but my mind just keeps circling back to the surgery. I start spiraling into "what ifs"—what if it doesn't work? What if there are complications? What if the pain stays the same or even gets worse? I’ve even noticed I’m becoming snappy with my family, which is so unlike me, and I just don't have the patience for people anymore. It feels like I've lost control over my own life, and I want so badly to change that. My inner sense of balance feels completely shattered, and it seems to get worse every day. I try not to burden the people around me with these thoughts and attempt to deal with it on my own, but it’s proving to be incredibly difficult. I’m actually terrified of whether the procedure will even be successful. I’m feeling so depressed and worried lately, and I honestly can't tell if this is a normal reaction or not.
Does anyone know how to dial down this kind of stress? How can I make this easier on myself? Is there any way to reclaim that positive mindset I used to have?
I wasn't sure if this belongs in this specific subforum or the psychology section, so I'll let the moderators move it if it's in the wrong place.