Looking for psychological help for weight management – any recommendations?

Hey everyone!

First off—I’m hoping I put this in the right spot, since I guess we’re really talking about health here, specifically getting some psychological help to deal with weight issues 🙂

So, I’m 23, about 5'6", and currently sitting at 250 lbs. I’ve basically fought this battle my whole life, and honestly, the last two years have been a total wash because I haven't been able to get back down into the double digits.
I’d say I’m pretty mature and happy, though—like, I feel like I have so much potential in my career, hobbies, friends, family, dating... all that stuff. So, let’s just say I’m not your typical "depressed overweight person" who’s too ashamed to even show their face in public because they can't accept themselves. My weight is just one part of my life—it doesn't define me, and I’ve never let it, even if it definitely takes a toll on my confidence sometimes—we're all human, right?

Since I’ve spent my young adult years cycling through endless diets, doctors, small wins, and then that brutal yo-yo effect—basically everything someone struggling with weight goes through—I’ve started worrying that I might stay this way forever. And if that happens, my quality of life is going to tank, not to mention the shorter lifespan factor (since I tend to pack on the pounds fast—once I hit 220, it was a slippery slope straight to 250). We all know obesity brings its own set of health problems, and that’s what scares me most. That’s why I really want to reach a healthy weight—plus, it would be a huge bonus to not have to hunt through special sections just to find clothes that fit 😁. Right now, I’m actually doing okay health-wise—my cholesterol is fine, blood pressure is normal, no diabetes, and no joint pain yet. I’m still active, just maybe a little less fit than I used to be. My only real issue, which I was diagnosed with when I was 13, is PCOS—and man, that's a struggle (dealing with meds, irregular cycles, months with nothing...). Also, my thyroid is slightly wonky, though my doctors say it’s not a huge deal given my weight.

It’s such a vicious cycle, especially with the hormonal stuff... it feels almost impossible to break out of. Lately, I’ve been thinking seriously about gastric bypass, and honestly, the ladies in that other thread have been such an amazing resource—thank you guys so much 🙂 but, before I go under the knife, I’m wondering if there’s anything else I haven't tried yet—some method that actually works?! I tried counseling a few years back, but I couldn't keep up with it because money was tight... nowadays, I feel like I could actually set aside a certain amount of money each month to work on myself. I mean, if I don't look after myself, I can't expect anyone else to, right? 😛 I feel like surgery might fix the symptom, but if I don't address the root cause, I’ll probably just end up right back here, or run into other health issues... I mean, we are psychosomatic beings, after all 🙄

Anyway, enough rambling! Here’s my actual question: do you guys know a good psychologist (though I'm totally open to a psychiatrist too) who could help me figure out where all these extra pounds are coming from and why? Like, how can I pull myself out of this current state? If you're gonna suggest the Mayo Clinic Obesity Center—been there, done that—next!! I’m looking for a specialist who really understands this specific type of struggle, or someone who can help me uncover what I'm trying to fill with food in the first place..
Also, I’d love to hear from anyone still battling weight issues—or even those who’ve managed to beat it (though, let's be real, managing addiction is more like a constant balancing act than a total victory)—and how you actually did it! 🙂

Thanks for all the help, everyone—and to the trolls out there, feel free to try, but honestly? I'm just gonna pretend you don't exist ☕

Hello. I can’t say much regarding psychologists—it’s a bit out of my depth—but I was wondering if you might be interested in an upcoming workshop focused on eating disorders. The women attending are around your age and dealing with very similar struggles... it might actually be quite helpful for you to just sit down and talk things through with them.

Lawrence Cox82 said:Addiction... it’s a relentless thing, isn't it? It doesn't just vanish overnight—it’s less about "winning" a battle and more about the slow, grueling process of finally getting things under control. One doesn't simply defeat it; one merely learns how to manage the weight of it... day by day.

Give this some thought... You seem to be starting from a position of negativity. Why is winning such an uphill battle for you? Is it because you’re already accepting the premise that food will always hold more sway over you than it should—more than just satisfying a basic physical necessity? I find myself wondering why that would be the case, especially if you claim to lead a fulfilled life and, I assume, can easily occupy your mind with other pursuits...
Why is it that we simply cannot stop eating at the exact moment we realize we’ve had enough? Is it a case of being an emotional eater—perhaps a way to temporarily bury certain underlying issues under a second, third, or fourth helping... just to make them vanish for a little while?
It seems to me that true epicurean indulgence—that rare breed of someone who enjoys food without losing their sense of refinement—is an incredibly scarce commodity. Most people who struggle with weight fall into one of two camps: either they are simply indifferent to their physical well-being due to sheer laziness—though that clearly isn't your issue—or they are caught in the grip of personal struggles, unable to break free from that toxic, enchanted cycle of overeating...
My suspicion is that there’s something weighing on you—something deeper—that’s driving this constant cycle of overeating. At the very least, it seems like body image issues are bothering you... which is particularly striking given how quickly you jumped to defend yourself in your very first post, insisting that you accept yourself exactly as you are. But why go through all that? Why would any of us even care...

Ultimately, my advice would be to start by having a serious conversation with yourself...

I speak from direct experience—I spent far too many years overeating without even grasping the underlying "why" behind it. It wasn't until my life circumstances shifted that I finally gained some clarity; once the triggers were removed, the compulsion simply evaporated. Now, I eat in perfectly normal amounts, and food has ceased to be an obsession... it’s just fuel again. My weight dropped, and more importantly, it has remained stable at its current level. Once you actually address the core issues driving those urges to overeat, the addiction to using food as a coping mechanism tends to vanish on its own...

That being said, I would suggest seeking out a traditional therapist first—someone you can see one-on-one—though you might also find value in exploring this specific group I could point you toward...

edit...

Lawrence Cox82 said:So, what I am really looking for is someone who truly specializes in this specific niche—an expert, if you will—who can pinpoint exactly where my nutritional gaps are... someone capable of identifying precisely which elements I’m failing to pull in through my diet alone, so I can finally stop playing guesswork with my meals...

I only caught this during the second reading... the "expert" in question seems to be nothing more than an average, perhaps slightly above-average, psychologist. Honestly, you should just sit down and talk to someone—it doesn't really matter if they specialize specifically in weight management or not... 🙂

Look, you can go see a therapist if you’re dead serious about actually dropping the weight and changing how you live. But honestly? If you're truly ready to commit, take all that cash you were gonna blow on a shrink and put it toward high-quality groceries and a solid gym membership instead. You can't have one without the other. Just be patient and play the long game—that's where the real results stick. Even if you feel okay right now, losing those pounds is going to give you a massive confidence boost. There are gonna be weeks where the scale doesn't move an inch, but don't let it get to you. Just decide, start, and stay the course. And please, skip the typical fad diets; try something more like the Monticello approach. Good luck.

@Kimberly Watson/">@@Kimberly Watson, thanks for getting back to me! 🙂

As for my eating habits, I guess the easiest way to put it is—I eat when I’m sad, and I eat when I’m happy 😁 haha... I really love good food, but I definitely consider myself an emotional eater... which is exactly why I want to find some help. Even though the idea of group therapy sounds cool, I don't think it's quite my vibe. I feel like I need a real pro who can actually guide me—you know, digging into *why* I eat the way I do and why I eat so much... I've been trying to figure it out on my own for a while now, but I'm just not getting anywhere, so that's why I'm asking 🙂 I've been through a lot in life (like everyone else, right?)—losses, various letdowns (honestly, I'm dealing with a fresh breakup right now)—but I can't pinpoint the exact trigger that made the weight gain so intense, or why I just can't seem to get things under control and lose it on my own... that little intro at the start wasn't me making excuses, it was just a bit of context about me, my weight, and how I deal with it all... and obviously, madman, it's weighing on me—otherwise, I wouldn't even be posting this 😁

Anyway, does anyone have a specific recommendation—like a first and last name for a psychologist you think could actually help me? I'd love to see the wonderful Mirjana Krizmanić, but I'm sure there are plenty of other amazing doctors out there too 🙂

@Chloe Barnes3 thanks for getting back to me! 🙂 I guess it really just comes down to staying persistent—which is where I always seem to struggle, since I totally lose sight of the goal when things get rough—so yeah, I definitely need some expert help, or like, actual support 🙂

I hear you, but look—any real therapist is only going to be able to help once you’ve actually decided to lose the weight and you're ready to put in the work. It's the same deal with quitting smoking. You can try hypnosis, nicotine patches, whatever, but none of that junk works if you don't actually want it. It’s like rehab; you aren't fixing an alcoholic until they finally own up to it and say, "Yeah, I have a problem." That admission is step one. Maybe it's a grim comparison, but the logic is identical.