HELP!!! Urgent!

Look, I get what you're saying—you're young, you said so yourself—but then why go out and engage in adult activities? Is it really that much trouble to just use protection?
I'm not trying to lecture you or play moral authority here; I'm honestly just asking why you ended up pregnant in the first place.

Morgan Torres said:Then why on earth are you engaging in adult activities? Is it really that much effort to just use protection?
I’m not trying to lecture you—that isn't my point. I'm simply asking how you ended up pregnant in the first place.

Oh, please. This happens to plenty of people, even those who are older and more responsible. Why does this keep coming up? We’ve already collectively decided this isn't the place for this kind of talk, so... just move on.

silverpuma10, good luck... and let us know how it turns out!

Morgan Torres said:Look, I’m not trying to lecture you—you’re young, you already admitted that much—but why are you even messing around with adult stuff? Is it really that hard to just use a condom?
I’m not trying to act like your parent or anything, I’m just asking why you ended up pregnant in the first place.

Ugh... that's one of those logic loops that us cold, heartless people just can't wrap our heads around.

Like... imagine some girl is telling you all about her life with her boyfriend.
And she’s like:
"We hooked up in a bathroom yesterday... in public... then once in a park... oh, we even did it at McDonald's... blah blah blah... then I flew to Vienna and slept with five guys I met for the first time ever, but they were honestly so cute."
And then you ask her:
"Wait, what about protection?... Are you using it?"
And she just looks at you all confident and goes:
"Nah... I don't give a damn..."

Then suddenly, she calls you crying her eyes out saying she's pregnant and has to go get an abortion tomorrow, acting like it totally happened by accident.

So... how are you supposed to have any empathy for someone like that?
I seriously wish someone could teach me how to feel for people like this, because I honestly just don't get it. 😢

Morgan Torres said:... I'm just asking why you let yourself get pregnant in the first place?

That’s a STUPID question. 🙄 No woman "lets herself" get pregnant just to decide she wants an abortion on a whim—it happens because of a partner, circumstances, or usually both: a) lack of knowledge or education; b) using the wrong kind of birth control (due to ignorance or health risks); c) birth control failure; d) someone taking advantage of her when she isn't fully lucid (like being drunk or high), which is basically rape; e) actual rape—non-consensual sex. Any one of those reasons is enough to result in pregnancy, and often it's a combination.

silverpuma10, a vacuum is the "device" used to remove the embryo without scraping—basically a suction system. If they don't offer general anesthesia (which can be tricky here given how much church politics mess with things in America), then ask for local numbing injections along with something like an IV sedative to calm you down. It’s not "full" anesthesia, but it’s close enough. You shouldn't feel pain—just some numbness and "discomfort," which is totally manageable. You'll be sleepy and groggy for another 2-3 hours after, but that's fine. It passes during the day. And keep this in mind: nobody has the right to lecture you or moralize about your life choices—especially people who had absolutely nothing to do with your pregnancy. 🙂

placidorca16 said:then they ask for something besides just local (like a vaginal injection) and an IV dose of something like Valium to calm down. It’s not "total" anesthesia, but it’s basically the same thing.

That is absolutely not the same thing. With diazepam, you just drift off—that’s hypnosis, plain and simple. Real anesthesia involves losing your reflexes, being completely pain-free, losing all sensation, amnesia... it's way, way more complex than just hitting someone with a dose of diazepam. That stuff just calms you down and puts you to sleep, but you aren't actually under anesthesia.....

restlesspanther42 said:General anesthesia isn't an option. They only use it if things get complicated. Just ask for local; it’s nothing to worry about. The pain is basically just like having a slightly heavier period.

Good luck with that.

It actually does exist, you just have to push for it. In fact, that’s the best way to handle it. That's how they do things in the West. Here, the medical standards can be a bit more primitive, so they mostly perform these procedures without any anesthesia at all. If you have the money, you can secure general anesthesia for yourself. There are various types available—some only take ten minutes, and then you're done.

Morgan Torres said:That’s all fine, but you're a kid and you said so yourself—so why are you engaging in adult activities? Is it really that hard to just use a condom?
I'm not trying to lecture you, that's not my intention; I'm just asking why you ended up pregnant in the first place.

How many children are born into marriages that weren't planned? I personally know plenty of cases, including twins. It happens. And it doesn't mean that every woman who gets pregnant has "screwed up" her reputation with the whole town. All it takes is one single sperm out of millions for this to happen.

slyowl96 said:Ah, there it is. That logic that cold, unfeeling people like us will never be able to grasp.

Take this scenario... a girl is recounting her exploits with some guy.
And she says:
"We hooked up in a restroom yesterday... a public one... then once in a park... before that, even at a McDonald's... blah blah blah... I flew to Vienna yesterday and slept with five guys I'd never seen before in my life, but they were just so sweet."
Then you ask her:
"What about protection?... Are you using any?"
And she just looks at you, totally self-assured, and snaps:
"No... I don't give a damn..."

Fast forward to the scene where she calls you, sobbing hysterically, saying she's pregnant, she's getting an abortion tomorrow, and she can't believe this happened to her.

Now... how are you supposed to have empathy for someone like that?
I wish someone could teach me, because frankly, I have zero sympathy for it. 😢

If you think I'm some slut, you're wrong. I've been with my boyfriend since I was sixteen, and he's the only person I've slept with in the last two years. Watch what you say! 😠

silverpuma10, stop worrying about those old folks—just tell me, how are you actually doing?

silverpuma10 said:If you think I’m some kind of slut, you’re dead wrong! I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 16, and he’s literally the only guy I’ve slept with in these last two years. So maybe watch your mouth before you say stuff like that! 😠

That’s still not enough for me to feel bad for you, I guess.

I'm not judging you.

Look, sorry, but I just can't bring myself to feel bad for you. 😢
I just feel bad for that poor kid you treated so cruelly and immaturely.
And that's your kid, I guess.
I don't even want to think about what someone like you would be capable of doing to my kid.
Or anyone else's, I guess.
That’s exactly why I just can't bring myself to feel any empathy for people like that. I guess it's just not in me.
I mean, what's even the point? It's all pretty pointless, I guess.

At the end of the day... if you can actually call yourself a decent person... you gotta truly accept yourself for who you are. Like, you can't be walking around thinking you're some kind of trash, and you definitely need to be able to look your own parents in the eye without feeling like a total loser.
If she actually went through with having that kid... she wouldn't be crawling all over internet forums begging for help. I guess.

I guess you should maybe just reach out to your mom? Just saying.
Or for the guy?
So I guess you guys actually stuck it out for two years together after all.

I'm a girl too, I guess.
I guess I get what kind of burden that is.
I mean, I guess there’s a reason God gave women higher intelligence. Maybe.
I guess you get what I'm saying.

Hey there!

Maybe you should just cover your ears and leave her alone. Seriously—if you don't have any actual, helpful advice to offer, then it’s probably best if you just head out from this thread!

Michelle Cook83 said:Maybe you should just shut up and leave the girl alone. If you don't actually have any decent advice to offer, then honestly, just get lost from this thread!

And what kind of "decent advice" am I supposed to give her right now, oh wise one?...

Just use your brain for a second..

Could anyone here realistically tell her:
"Well, why don't you just have a kid?... Then you'll realize it's not as easy as you think..."

Or should I just tell her:
"Look, honey... why don't you just pierce your own uterus with a sewing needle so everyone else can be happy.."

Right, Lawrence Wells... what's the "normal" advice for a girl who literally only wants to know how much an abortion costs... without looking at the reality of the situation?

I’m signing off from this thread with nothing but love for silverpuma10—whatever she decided to do, she’s 100% within her rights. I really hope everything goes smoothly for her and stays as stress-free as possible.

And honestly, all those self-righteous moralizers can just take their lectures over to a theology forum; they should leave those debates to the religious crowds.