This song will have you laughing until you cry...
Started by Austin Chavez76 · · 👁 7 views · 64 replies
#2 ·
The Beach Boys - Fourteen
Fourteen Dropkick Murphys - Kiss me I'm shitfaced
Nothing else comes to mind at the moment. 🙂
Fourteen Dropkick Murphys - Kiss me I'm shitfaced
Nothing else comes to mind at the moment. 🙂
#4 ·
Cold Beer - When I Breathe You In
Keeping you tucked under the bed, inside a shoebox
I even drilled a little air hole so you wouldn't suffocate
To make sure nobody bothers us, I turned the key once, then twice
Quietly lifted the lid and called you out for a rendezvous
When I breathe you in
When you appear right beside me
Holding me in your arms
Just like a real woman should
When I breathe you in
When you appear right beside me
I'm happy and whole again
Falling asleep with a smile on my face
When I breathe you in
It’s beautiful listening to you with those calm eyes of yours
You silently understand things I can't even wrap my head around
You never get migraines, and you don't have a poisonous tongue
No desires at all, other than just making me happy
You're soft and yielding, kissing your smooth PVC
I can feel how happy you are—I'm a pretty good lover, right?
I'll pour my soul into you and wrap you up carefully
prije neg' the sun turns the day to grey...
😁
Keeping you tucked under the bed, inside a shoebox
I even drilled a little air hole so you wouldn't suffocate
To make sure nobody bothers us, I turned the key once, then twice
Quietly lifted the lid and called you out for a rendezvous
When I breathe you in
When you appear right beside me
Holding me in your arms
Just like a real woman should
When I breathe you in
When you appear right beside me
I'm happy and whole again
Falling asleep with a smile on my face
When I breathe you in
It’s beautiful listening to you with those calm eyes of yours
You silently understand things I can't even wrap my head around
You never get migraines, and you don't have a poisonous tongue
No desires at all, other than just making me happy
You're soft and yielding, kissing your smooth PVC
I can feel how happy you are—I'm a pretty good lover, right?
I'll pour my soul into you and wrap you up carefully
prije neg' the sun turns the day to grey...
😁
#10 ·
Afroman
Afroman - Crazy rap😂
Wait a minuta, man. Seriously—listen to this. So there’s this blind guy, right?
So, get this—there was this blind guy, right?
So he's just feeling his way down the street with this stick, right There?
Hey. He just strolled right past that seafood market—you feel me?
He paused, took a long breath—and then finally spoke.
Woooooo, morning, everyone.
You digging that stuff? Seriously—I’ve got a whole stash of it right here.
I’ll tell you what—my guy on the guitar, that clown on the drums...
Gather 'round the mic, everyone—I've got plenty of jokes to go around.
But before we get into it, I’m gonna kick things off like this—hey, help me sing it, homeboy.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, that’s pretty much all you need.
Maybe we could hit up the park once the sun goes down—just grab some stuff and stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong. Sounds alright, doesn't it?
As the smoke drifts up, we can just take turns passing it around—maybe belt out some dirty rap songs while we chill?
Just stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong—then sell those tapes all the way from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Just make sure you pick out all those pesky seeds and stems first.
Feeling incredibly high while cruising through Eastside Palmdale—just rolling on some Dayton rims.
So let's get that '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville rolling.
If my tapes and CDs end up gathering dust on the shelf, I’ve got a feeling my Cadillac Coup de Ville will carry the load instead.
It was just sunset in a quiet little white town—they call it Eastside Palmdale.
When The Afroman walked through The White Land, suddenly everyone started putting their houses on the market.
So, I was out on the corner hawking rap CDs—you know how it goes—when I ended up meeting this young girl named Jan.
I ended up letting her ride in my Cadillac Coup de Ville—mostly because I had no clue her old man was the head of the KKK.
We were going at it on the mattress, then moved to the floor—we stayed at it for so long I practically grew a damn afro.
Then I moved left, then I moved right—she kept going until everything just went white.
I just looked at myself and thought—Sheba, Sheba! I’ve got my ass looking like a zebra!
I threw some clothes on and headed out—until her dad rolled up in a Chevrolet.
I bolted. I actually scrambled out the back window—but her old man was just standing there waiting with a 2x4.
Man, he had me beat from every angle—left, right, you name it. That guy just absolutely owned me all night long.
I can't say I have any beef with her prejudiced father, though—honestly, she's the best damn woman I've ever been with.
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine—just want to go out and do it all over again one last time.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, isn't that really all you need?
We could always head over to the park once the sun goes down—maybe stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong.
As the smoke drifts up, we can just take turns passing it around—singing those dirty rap songs.
Just stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong—then you can sell tapes all the way from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Just make sure you pick out all the seeds and stems first.
Feeling high as hell cruising through Eastside Palmdale—just skating on those Dayton rims.
So, let's get that '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville rolling.
If my albums and CDs end up gathering dust on the shelves, I’m betting my Cadillac Coup de Ville will be the one to pull through.
met this Lady in Hollywood. She had green hair—but man, she was stunning.
So I took her back to my place—she was gorgeous, really—but then she pulls out a dick that’s actually bigger than mine. Talk about a surprise, right?
I met this Lady in Hollywood—never made Love with an African.
I went home with her once, then again. Honestly? It was unforgettable—kind of like that perfect plate of shrimp fried rice you can't stop thinking about.
Don't let my stories catch you off guard—I actually met this lady in Hollywood once.
She had curves in all the right places—big butt and big chest—so I just jumped right in, kind of like a kangaroo.
So, I met this lady in Hollywood—she was originally from Hawaii. Well, things got a little intense during sex, and let's just say she definitely had a reaction to it!
First came the lips, then the rest—it was a full course meal from start to finish. After that, things just went wild.
Ran into Colonel Sanders' wife out in Kentucky—and let's just say things got interesting. She told me she'd fry up some chicken if I just slept with her. Who says no to that?
It ended in a total crisis—she finished me off. All I could do was offer up my own little secret blend of herbs and spices to steady things.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, that’s pretty much all you really need.
We could head over to the park once it gets dark—maybe grab some stuff and just chill.
As the weed burns, we can just take turns—singing those dirty rap songs.
stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong, selling records from right here to Hong Kong.
Wait a minuta man, listen to this.
I met this Lady in Hollywood back in Tennessee—her curves were pure Hennessy.
That country vibe almost sent me into a Crazy rap, but I stayed close and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy!"
Ran into a lady in Oklahoma; let's just say things got intense.
Met a woman in Michigan; honestly, I'm just counting down the days until I see her again.
Found a gorgeous Black girl in South Carolina; we went at it until everything changed.
Hooked up with a girl in Iowa. Did it on credit, so now I'm technically in debt.
Was down in Georgia with this girl; finished in her mouth. Like I told you before.
Met this stunning woman; she practically bolted across the Mexican border.
A total knockout named Maria. I handled her like a hot tortilla.
I’d love to settle down, but money's tight. It'll probably be a tearful goodbye when she gets deported.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags, baby, that's the whole kit and caboodle.
Head to the park after sunset and just smoke some tumbleweed.
As the weed burns, we'll take turns spinning those dirty rap songs.
stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong, selling records from right here to Hong Kong.
Ever headed over to a girl's place for some action, only to find she's just... not that great? (WHAT?)
And you're starting to get frustrated because you can't get her going—and to make matters worse, you're in a sketchy part of town?
So you try to play it cool and just go down on her, but she's taking forever to finish (WHAT?)
Suddenly, her boyfriend walks in. He's huge, and he's asking, "Where are you from, man?"
You wipe your face, trying to talk your way out of it—"I wasn't doing anything"—just talking a mile a minute.
But he's already losing it because you're with his wife, so he starts laying into you.
Now your clothes are trashed, your nose is bleeding, and your mood—well, let's just say it's gone. (WHAT?)
You thought you had a night to remember, but now you're just heading home alone.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags, baby, that's the whole kit and caboodle.
Head to the park after sunset and just smoke some tumbleweed.
[fade out]🙏 😂 😂
Afroman - Crazy rap😂
Wait a minuta, man. Seriously—listen to this. So there’s this blind guy, right?
So, get this—there was this blind guy, right?
So he's just feeling his way down the street with this stick, right There?
Hey. He just strolled right past that seafood market—you feel me?
He paused, took a long breath—and then finally spoke.
Woooooo, morning, everyone.
You digging that stuff? Seriously—I’ve got a whole stash of it right here.
I’ll tell you what—my guy on the guitar, that clown on the drums...
Gather 'round the mic, everyone—I've got plenty of jokes to go around.
But before we get into it, I’m gonna kick things off like this—hey, help me sing it, homeboy.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, that’s pretty much all you need.
Maybe we could hit up the park once the sun goes down—just grab some stuff and stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong. Sounds alright, doesn't it?
As the smoke drifts up, we can just take turns passing it around—maybe belt out some dirty rap songs while we chill?
Just stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong—then sell those tapes all the way from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Just make sure you pick out all those pesky seeds and stems first.
Feeling incredibly high while cruising through Eastside Palmdale—just rolling on some Dayton rims.
So let's get that '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville rolling.
If my tapes and CDs end up gathering dust on the shelf, I’ve got a feeling my Cadillac Coup de Ville will carry the load instead.
It was just sunset in a quiet little white town—they call it Eastside Palmdale.
When The Afroman walked through The White Land, suddenly everyone started putting their houses on the market.
So, I was out on the corner hawking rap CDs—you know how it goes—when I ended up meeting this young girl named Jan.
I ended up letting her ride in my Cadillac Coup de Ville—mostly because I had no clue her old man was the head of the KKK.
We were going at it on the mattress, then moved to the floor—we stayed at it for so long I practically grew a damn afro.
Then I moved left, then I moved right—she kept going until everything just went white.
I just looked at myself and thought—Sheba, Sheba! I’ve got my ass looking like a zebra!
I threw some clothes on and headed out—until her dad rolled up in a Chevrolet.
I bolted. I actually scrambled out the back window—but her old man was just standing there waiting with a 2x4.
Man, he had me beat from every angle—left, right, you name it. That guy just absolutely owned me all night long.
I can't say I have any beef with her prejudiced father, though—honestly, she's the best damn woman I've ever been with.
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine—just want to go out and do it all over again one last time.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, isn't that really all you need?
We could always head over to the park once the sun goes down—maybe stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong.
As the smoke drifts up, we can just take turns passing it around—singing those dirty rap songs.
Just stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong—then you can sell tapes all the way from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Just make sure you pick out all the seeds and stems first.
Feeling high as hell cruising through Eastside Palmdale—just skating on those Dayton rims.
So, let's get that '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville rolling.
If my albums and CDs end up gathering dust on the shelves, I’m betting my Cadillac Coup de Ville will be the one to pull through.
met this Lady in Hollywood. She had green hair—but man, she was stunning.
So I took her back to my place—she was gorgeous, really—but then she pulls out a dick that’s actually bigger than mine. Talk about a surprise, right?
I met this Lady in Hollywood—never made Love with an African.
I went home with her once, then again. Honestly? It was unforgettable—kind of like that perfect plate of shrimp fried rice you can't stop thinking about.
Don't let my stories catch you off guard—I actually met this lady in Hollywood once.
She had curves in all the right places—big butt and big chest—so I just jumped right in, kind of like a kangaroo.
So, I met this lady in Hollywood—she was originally from Hawaii. Well, things got a little intense during sex, and let's just say she definitely had a reaction to it!
First came the lips, then the rest—it was a full course meal from start to finish. After that, things just went wild.
Ran into Colonel Sanders' wife out in Kentucky—and let's just say things got interesting. She told me she'd fry up some chicken if I just slept with her. Who says no to that?
It ended in a total crisis—she finished me off. All I could do was offer up my own little secret blend of herbs and spices to steady things.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags—honestly, that’s pretty much all you really need.
We could head over to the park once it gets dark—maybe grab some stuff and just chill.
As the weed burns, we can just take turns—singing those dirty rap songs.
stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong, selling records from right here to Hong Kong.
Wait a minuta man, listen to this.
I met this Lady in Hollywood back in Tennessee—her curves were pure Hennessy.
That country vibe almost sent me into a Crazy rap, but I stayed close and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy!"
Ran into a lady in Oklahoma; let's just say things got intense.
Met a woman in Michigan; honestly, I'm just counting down the days until I see her again.
Found a gorgeous Black girl in South Carolina; we went at it until everything changed.
Hooked up with a girl in Iowa. Did it on credit, so now I'm technically in debt.
Was down in Georgia with this girl; finished in her mouth. Like I told you before.
Met this stunning woman; she practically bolted across the Mexican border.
A total knockout named Maria. I handled her like a hot tortilla.
I’d love to settle down, but money's tight. It'll probably be a tearful goodbye when she gets deported.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags, baby, that's the whole kit and caboodle.
Head to the park after sunset and just smoke some tumbleweed.
As the weed burns, we'll take turns spinning those dirty rap songs.
stop and hit The bong like Cheech and Chong, selling records from right here to Hong Kong.
Ever headed over to a girl's place for some action, only to find she's just... not that great? (WHAT?)
And you're starting to get frustrated because you can't get her going—and to make matters worse, you're in a sketchy part of town?
So you try to play it cool and just go down on her, but she's taking forever to finish (WHAT?)
Suddenly, her boyfriend walks in. He's huge, and he's asking, "Where are you from, man?"
You wipe your face, trying to talk your way out of it—"I wasn't doing anything"—just talking a mile a minute.
But he's already losing it because you're with his wife, so he starts laying into you.
Now your clothes are trashed, your nose is bleeding, and your mood—well, let's just say it's gone. (WHAT?)
You thought you had a night to remember, but now you're just heading home alone.
Colt 45 and Two Zig Zags, baby, that's the whole kit and caboodle.
Head to the park after sunset and just smoke some tumbleweed.
[fade out]🙏 😂 😂
#13 ·
Yo La Tengo - Speeding Motorcycle via Fakebook
The absolute best part has to be the beginning, where they’re all just joking around trying to figure out how to actually play the song with Daniel Johnston... 😁 honestly, his vocal flourishes are just top-tier 👍 and totally hilarious
The absolute best part has to be the beginning, where they’re all just joking around trying to figure out how to actually play the song with Daniel Johnston... 😁 honestly, his vocal flourishes are just top-tier 👍 and totally hilarious
#17 ·
Frank Zappa—what’s the absolute ugliest thing about your physique?
Liam Lynch—the United States of America
Jonathan Richman—most things, honestly😁
Liam Lynch—the United States of America
Jonathan Richman—most things, honestly😁
#18 ·
I’ve been listening to some high-strung old-school tracks to try and lift my mood.
Like maybe some classic circus music from Denver, for instance.
And then there's the firefighters—they always seem to be doing something—but when I actually need a genuine pick-me-up, I just put on my favorite old vinyls, specifically those duets by Caesar or even that track with Jayan and Pimpek, my god.
Man, you should see the grin on my face...
Like maybe some classic circus music from Denver, for instance.
And then there's the firefighters—they always seem to be doing something—but when I actually need a genuine pick-me-up, I just put on my favorite old vinyls, specifically those duets by Caesar or even that track with Jayan and Pimpek, my god.
Man, you should see the grin on my face...
#20 ·
paučko said:FRED WAS RIGHT - I'm too sexy🎉
Same here, honestly, every single time.🙏
I absolutely love it.😍
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