Living with OCD

After scouring the forums for hours, I haven’t found a single thread dedicated to the issue of OCD. According to some statistics, this affects roughly 25% of people across all age groups—manifesting in various degrees and different forms.
I’m reaching out to anyone dealing with this; please, speak up so we can try to support one another.
Once people start sharing their more detailed stories, I’m sure there will be plenty of malicious comments—there will also be jokes, of course, because a little laughter never hurts.
Since I don't have a computer at home, I won't be able to check in as often as I'd like, but I truly want to hear as many perspectives as possible.

So, what exactly is it, and how does it actually show up?😕

slyviper47 said:What exactly is it, and how does it show up?😕

Bill wrote about that in the topic for Forum.
Psychiatry and Us: A topic for Forum members who are serious about dealing with this Illness!
Take a look at the ninth post on page one; that user gives a pretty solid explanation of this Illness. 🙂
If you want to see how this actually plays out in real life, check out an episode of Monk—it’s a show about a detective living with this Illness, and it airs Saturday nights on USA Network. 🙂 )

Honestly, I’m not even that interested... I was just wondering which category this falls under... Is it considered psychosomatic?
And yeah, I stay far away from TV series. 😢

slyviper47 said:I'm not really that interested... I was just wondering which category of illness this falls under... is it psychosomatic?
And I tend to avoid TV series. 😢

It’s a shame, really; you often see experts from all sorts of different fields collaborating on these things.

slyviper47 said:So, what actually is it, and how does it show up?😕

It’s obsessive and compulsive... basically, you get stuck in this loop where you feel driven to repeat certain actions over and over again. For instance, right before you hit the sack, you find yourself checking if the front door is locked seven times in a row, even though you already know perfectly well that it is.🙂

restlesspanther1 said:It's like checking that you turned off the stove seven times before bed, even though you know perfectly well it's off. 🙂

Not quite—the doors are being inspected. 5 Think of it like aligning a key with the handle—you want the key and the latch to sit perfectly parallel. 😉

Rebecca Roberts2 said:Actually, no—the doors are being checked. 5 The key and the lock have to be positioned just right—you need to make sure the key is turned so it sits perfectly parallel with the handle. 😉

Yeah, alright—vertical. The key always has to be vertical.

Christian Castillo60 said:I've spent hours scouring every corner of this forum, and I can't find a single thread discussing obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Aha. ☕

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

I used to deal with a constant pile of those compulsions, but, honestly, I always seem to find a way to manage them on my own. Right now, I don't really feel like there's anything pressing I need to tackle—well, I suppose I have to avoid certain numbers 😁 and that’s about it.

Anthony Harris14 said:Yeah, vertical—the key always needs to be vertical.

It seems I'm not the only one struggling with how the key sits in the lock.
👋

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER
According to the DSM-V, the clinical code for this condition is F42.
The hallmark of this disorder involves recurrent, intrusive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. These primarily manifest as ideas, images, or impulses that impose themselves on an individual in a repetitive pattern, despite any attempts to dismiss them. They invariably trigger discomfort, and most efforts by the patient to resist them seem to lead nowhere.
The individual is fully aware that these intrusive thoughts originate within their own mind rather than being imposed from an external source (which distinguishes this from delusional thinking). Typically, these obsessive thoughts, images, or impulses are stressful and unpleasant, often leaving the patient feeling quite ashamed. Anxiety is almost a constant companion in this type of disorder. I suppose if a person manages to muster the strength to resist these compulsions, the anxiety merely intensifies, potentially drawing the individual back into a cycle that feels impossible to escape.
Compulsive actions can vary widely, though they frequently take the form of checking rituals—such as verifying if a door is actually locked—repetitive washing, which might involve constant handwashing or cleaning every corner of one's home, or perhaps counting things like windows, license plates, or street curbs.
There are also dressing rituals, where someone might endlessly change outfits, trying over and over to find the "perfect" combination of colors and textures.
Obsessive-compulsive disorders affect men and women at similar rates. Symptoms usually emerge during childhood or adolescence, and the progression tends to be unpredictable, often leaning toward becoming a chronic condition.

Thanks for reaching out. Megan Reed, I’m not sure how I missed that thread—thanks for pointing it out; I found some info there regarding my own situation. Honestly, I've been reading up on this for a while now, but you can never know too much, right? There's always something new to learn that might actually help. I see that Johnny and restlesspanther1 have already jumped in with some jokes—it doesn't bother me, though. Like I said before, I don't mind a good laugh, whether it's at my expense or yours. In my case, this Illness shows up as excessive hand washing. I constantly feel like they're dirty, and even after I wash them, I'm convinced they aren't clean enough—so I end up scrubbing with soap for several minutes (which is why I go by Christian Castillo60). As for physical compulsions—like needing to count things or check locks repeatedly—those are actually quite rare for me. Most of the time, it's just intrusive thoughts, which I eventually counter with positive, opposite thoughts to find some peace. So, actual ritualistic actions aren't really my thing, or at least they happen very infrequently. Much like how Bill described it, hollowdrifter11 explained the general gist of it, though obviously, everyone's experience is unique. I noticed a user under the handle "circles" seems to be dealing with something very similar to me; I'd love for them to reply to this post so we can exchange emails and talk more deeply about this. I feel like speaking with a psychiatrist or maybe an epidemiologist would be beneficial given the specific nature of this issue, but I'd much prefer consulting with a doctor online rather than trekking into a clinic. From what I've read on here, I've been pretty successful at hiding this from everyone else—except for my family, who knows what's going on and keeps pushing me to fight against it.
I'd love to hear from anyone else struggling with excessive hand washing so we can steer the conversation in that direction.

Best regards and thanks to everyone

Christian Castillo60 said:...It looks like Rebecca Roberts2 and restlesspanther1 have already kicked things off with some jokes...

I wasn't joking about the key placement issue.
I’ve been dealing with this Illness for years. In the beginning, the intrusive thoughts really terrified me because I didn't understand what was happening. But once I stumbled upon Bill's topic for Forum, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Realizing I wasn't a maniac or losing my mind changed everything. That clarity helped me react much more calmly when those thoughts pop up, which lowered my anxiety and significantly cut down how often they occur.
Lately, I've become quite good at managing things to the point where almost nobody even knows. My family only notices that I'm a bit more cautious about germs.

I'd love for anyone struggling with excessive handwashing to chime in so we can shift the conversation in that direction.

Since I live out in the country surrounded by animals, bacteria and dirt have always been a major hurdle for me.
Now, even if it feels a bit uneasy, I can force myself to pick up a cat (though I make sure she doesn't touch my clothes, otherwise she'll be "dirty" too...), pet a dog, or handle similar "messy" tasks—even though I still prefer using gloves for those things. After any "dirty" task, I always wash my hands thoroughly (regardless of whether I wore gloves or not) antibacterial soap and that's enough for me now. Before, I used to feel the need to follow up with alcohol sanitizer just to feel truly clean.
I still have to wash up after touching objects I perceive as dirty, like a broom handle (since dust kicks up onto it while sweeping), but since those items are relatively "cleaner," just using water is sufficient.

Every now and then, I allow myself small rituals like straightening chairs, kitchen canisters, or checking the position of a key in a lock. As for locking doors or turning off the gas, those used to torture me. Now, I've learned to simply remember exactly how I performed the action the first time. I don't allow myself to go back and double-check, no matter how much my brain insists I might have left the gas on. By sticking to that rule, I can manage the endless urge to check, and slowly, the compulsion is fading.

Rebecca Roberts2, I appreciate you being so thorough about what you're going through—though, honestly, I’m sorry you have to deal with it at all. I use gloves in plenty of different situations myself, yet I still wash my hands regardless of whether I was wearing them or not. I don't bother disinfecting them with alcohol (I usually just use alcohol to sanitize things like my iPhone whenever I get back home from out and about), but if they seem particularly dirty, I'll give them a scrub with detergent first and then follow up with some Safeguard soap. I also tend to change my clothes pretty frequently—I'll wear a T-shirt maybe twice before tossing it straight into the laundry.
I feel like this could be sorted out with a few sessions with a psychiatrist or an epidemiologist who could clear some things up, but frankly, I'm just not in the mood to go see someone in person. That's why I turned to the internet instead.
I'm convinced quite a few people are struggling with this exact same issue, so the more experiences and perspectives we can share, the better.
I actually started looking at things a bit differently once I saw online that there's an actual name for this disorder (like you said, it helped me realize I'm not just some maniac or a lunatic). Once I had that realization, I managed to cut down on a lot of those compulsive, forced actions because I finally understood that this is a disorder I need to fight against.
I'm curious, though—what exactly drives you to perform those little rituals? Is it that nagging feeling that something terrible will happen if you don't do them, or is it something else entirely? If that's the case, believe me, nothing bad is going to happen, and I might even have some advice for you.
I'd love for us to jump on a chat sometime so we can really dive into this one-on-one.

Rebecca Roberts2 said:It seems I’m not the only one struggling with how the key sits in the lock.
👋

My apologies—the key actually needs to be parallel to the handle, otherwise someone might just push it right through from the other side. I completely forgot about that bit.🙄 👋

Christian Castillo60 said:Megan Reed, I have no idea how I missed that post. Thanks—I actually found some info there that hits close to home regarding my own situation.

No worries. 🙂 [Sometimes I just spend way too much time lurking on here. 😁]

Regarding OCD itself, 😍 I might as well jump into the fray myself. Look, I don't exactly consider myself a candidate for a psychiatric ward [at least not yet 😬], but

I’m the type to count steps up a staircase,
I need to organize everything—books, CDs, whatever—in perfect chronological or alphabetical order, or some other rigid system
and the list goes on... 😁 😁 😁

It isn't always on my mind, but whenever a thread like this pops up... yeah, I see myself in a lot of this. Still, I suppose I'm far from alone in dealing with it. 😬

Yeah, I managed to pull myself out of it on my own, too. Honestly, I’ve thought about establishing some kind of personal protocol—like picking a specific date, maybe something with a significant number, where all those compulsive rituals just stop, and from that point on, I strictly forbid myself from doing them. You’d probably end up building up that tension again over time, but I suppose my situation wasn't actually that severe, considering how easily I eventually moved past it. Still, there were stretches where I’d spend half an hour just running through a checklist of things I felt forced to do before I could even think about going to sleep.

I ended up picking up this ridiculous obsession, and honestly, I blame my dad for passing it on to me. He’s the kind of guy who has to check the oven and the stove a hundred times before we all leave the house. At first, I just laughed at him. But then, once I moved out on my own, I realized I had become exactly like him. There were times I’d actually turn around halfway to the bus stop just to double-check everything because the anxiety was eating me alive—even though I knew for a fact I’d already checked everything before leaving. It’s funny, though; neither he nor I have ever actually left an appliance on or dealt with a fire.
Eventually, I just snapped. I decided enough was enough, at least regarding those pre-departure checks. I figured if I could just let enough time pass—maybe thirty minutes after the initial thought hit me—I could force myself to forget about it and stop letting it weigh on me.
Now, I don't go around checking things multiple times before heading out. And even if I can't quite remember if I did a final sweep, I don't let it bother me anymore. 😁

So, my situation wasn't exactly extreme, but I still managed to shake it off on my own without any major drama.

Christian Castillo60 said:...I'm curious about what drives you to perform those little rituals (is it a sense that something bad will happen if you don't, or something else entirely)...

That’s exactly it, though I don't let them worry me anymore. I just use those small actions occasionally as a sort of pressure valve; it helps me push through the bigger hurdles. It means I can head out the door now without feeling the need to check the stove, the locks, or the faucets ten times over.
It feels like my previous post came across a bit heavier than I intended (writing things down at 2:00 AM tends to do that 😉), so things aren't actually that dire right now. While this disorder used to be quite a struggle, once I understood what was happening, I learned how to gradually dial it back.
As for hand washing, since I live out in the countryside—anyone who has ever had to feed livestock and seen how messy things get knows why you'd be extra careful 😉—I allow myself to wash up a bit more frequently just for basic hygiene reasons.🙂