Swelling on my penis – any advice?

I’ve been sitting on this for a minute, debating whether I should even post this because it’s kind of a sensitive topic, but I really need some perspective. So, my boyfriend noticed this swelling—like a painful lump right on the top part of his penis near the head—and it hurts like hell whenever he touches it or when we're having sex. I’ve been nagging him for days to just get an appointment with a urologist through his insurance, and honestly, I’m starting to freak out. This doesn't feel like something we can just brush off, and I have zero clue what's actually going on. I'm spiraling a bit here, just praying it isn't something life-altering.
It looks like I’m gonna have to basically drag him by the arm to the doctor's office at the clinic. The way he keeps stalling is super sketchy, too; he’s gone totally quiet and shut down, which makes me think he’s just terrified they’re going to tell him it’s something serious. But hey, who knows, since he won't even open his mouth to talk about it.
Anyway, wrapping this up because I’m heading back to him right now to tell him he needs to call the doctor and book something tomorrow (pretty sure this is like the third time I've said it today). He’s usually not this irresponsible with his health, so I’m convinced he’s just paralyzed by fear and won't admit it. I’m a mess myself, but I can't just sit here and stay silent.
Please help me out 🙏 😢

P.S. We haven't asked anyone else yet. I was seriously considering asking my mom earlier today, but I don't want to go behind his back while he's being so stubborn about not talking. I'm feeling pretty desperate

Let’s be honest, getting someone to commit to a urologist is an uphill battle.
Your boyfriend—or whoever this guy is—really needs to get checked out.
Is there any discharge coming from that lump? Is it just one isolated spot, or is there more going on under the surface?

It’s hard enough being the responsible one in a relationship. Honestly, you should probably just nudge him toward a doctor. If he keeps ignoring this, he's only making things worse for himself down the line.

Look, please don't mention this to your mother; it’s completely inappropriate unless she happens to be a doctor. These are private matters, and involving your mom in this is just weird.

It would be better to consult your primary care physician.

I don't think an immediate trip to a urologist is necessary; let his regular doctor take a look, or even better, a dermatologist.

It's been sweltering lately, so it might just be a minor issue like an inflamed sebaceous gland.

Regardless, he shouldn't put this off. Even if the symptoms happen to subside on their own, that nagging anxiety about whether something is actually wrong will always be there.

Women tend to address discomfort immediately after their first gynecological visit. For men, the dynamic is different; they usually wait until genuine fear takes over before seeing a urologist. I saw this firsthand with my father. Before his appointment, he was an absolute wreck—unusually anxious. In the end, it was pure dread that finally outweighed his hesitation. He had to be pushed into it, as we all know how stubborn men can be about these things. It likely isn't anything major, but you won't know for certain without a professional exam. Best of luck.

He finally saw his doctor today.🙏 🙏 🙏
She asked if he’d taken any hits lately—he hasn't—and then she handed him a referral for a urologist. He went down to the hospital to see one, but those guys only run clinics twice a week 😲 . The doc told him he’s looking at a month or two wait unless he knows someone on the inside who can pull some strings. We’re gonna try to find a connection, but if we strike out, we’ll just pay for a private specialist.
Honestly, I feel like I can breathe again now that he's actually getting things moving, so I'll let you guys know how the urology appointment goes. Thanks for being there for me, seriously. 😘 👋

I don't think it's anything serious... People immediately jump to cancer, but penile cancer is incredibly rare. Plus, most cases are usually linked to long-term hygiene issues, which I'm pretty sure isn't the case with your guy... This sounds trivial... likely just some minor inflammation.