Started by Megan White4 · · 👁 5 views · 107 replies
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Sam Green73 said:Personal data is kept strictly confidential.
Direct messages aren't considered private data.
Megan White4 said:Then what are they?
Kiki said:...You got a permanent ban on Photography, and honestly, you earned it...
Michelle Alvarez8 said:No offense intended, but honestly? The current rules are actually pretty solid, especially considering who put them together.
By letting private messages be posted—and not slapping anyone with a penalty for it—we’re setting a really nasty precedent. Just try looking at it from the perspective of someone whose private DMs were leaked. I wouldn't be feeling too great about it myself, whether it was meant as a joke, some teasing, or straight-up cyberbullying.
It gets even messier when a moderator is allowed to post a user's private message without any consequences at all—regardless of what it says. Instead of Kiki and Toc trying to fix things by leaking private messages, moderators should be handling those issues privately with the admins. Plus, I find it hard to believe a regular user would get away with posting a private message from a moderator. And let’s be real—if the mods (and admins) know how to send abusive messages... they definitely do.
Double standards are never a "quality" solution, you know? But since they seem to be a constant here on this forum—I guess it's just part of the charm, right?
Kiki said:Are you talking about this?
I honestly think it’d be a lot smarter if you just asked whether sending abusive messages is actually allowed—though, let's be real, this isn't your first rodeo. You already caught a permanent ban—totally deserved, too—over at Photography Forum. Nobody is "harassing" you anymore with rules you clearly have zero interest in following anyway. Your outbursts aren't being triggered by anything... they're just happening. I'm not even really addressing you directly here, but your whole situation, much like how you acted over at Photography Forum, is pretty much done and dusted. I truly don't understand why you feel the need to keep sending these nasty messages... I really don't. And hey, if you're going to keep doing it, just know they might end up getting posted publicly. Or are you just hoping people won't see your true colors? ☕
Morgan Rodriguez57 said:Nah... well, at least that was how things worked back in my day—you could say just about anything in the PMs, and a mod (or anyone else, really) wasn't allowed to post them or punish you for them...
Morgan Rodriguez57 said:Nah... well, at least that was how things worked back in my day—you could say just about anything in the PMs, and a mod (or anyone else, really) wasn't allowed to post them or punish you for them...
hollowtrucker77 said:I’m pretty much on the same page as Michelle Alvarez8, though I’ll skip the unnecessary fluff at the beginning and end of her post.
hollowtrucker77 said:I’m pretty much on the same page as Michelle Alvarez8, though I’ll skip the unnecessary fluff at the beginning and end of her post.
cosmictinker21 said:Leaking private messages is a double-edged sword. If someone gets hit with a barrage of insults, their immediate instinct is to warn everyone else about what kind of jerk they're dealing with—especially if the mods refuse to shut down the guy despite being asked. It's just human nature... that first impulse is basically: "Screw this idiot, let everyone else know he's a loser so they can stay away."
Still, it’s definitely rude to take something completely private and blast it publicly just out of spite or because you misread the room.
I guess I just wonder who gets to be the judge of what counts...🤷
Michelle Alvarez8 said:It’s simple, really—you can warn people without airing out private messages. A quick note like: "X keeps sending me messages where they y my family is plenty. That’s a totally understandable human reaction. But posting a private message? That’s never okay. Besides, if there's complaining to be done, it should go "up" the chain, not "down." So, Kiki—acting as a moderator—can just pass that private message along to the super-mods or the admins. There's absolutely no reason to post it where the whole forum can see it.
Harassment via private messages is such a messy area, too—not just because of what we saw here, but because it's so incredibly easy to fake or edit a message when you forward it. Maybe screenshots could solve that? It would just take some genuine effort and positive energy—mostly from the people in charge. Being a leader on paper is one thing, but actually leading is another story entirely.
* Maybe even skip the super-mods, since they're technically below moderators on the hierarchy. They're more like "sub-staff," right?
** Posting a private message like this is just incredibly rude and uncultured. An experienced, veteran moderator should definitely know better.
cosmictinker21 said:Leaking private messages is a double-edged sword. If someone gets hit with a barrage of insults, their immediate instinct is to warn everyone else about what kind of jerk they're dealing with—especially if the mods refuse to shut down the guy despite being asked. It's just human nature... that first impulse is basically: "Screw this idiot, let everyone else know he's a loser so they can stay away."
Still, it’s definitely rude to take something completely private and blast it publicly just out of spite or because you misread the room.
I guess I just wonder who gets to be the judge of what counts...🤷
hiddensailor14 said:Hmm, let's get specific. A while back, I received a PM claiming my mother paid for my college tuition with money earned from... well, engaging in sexual acts with local American dogs, specifically Great Danes, and that she was some kind of star on various bestiality sites because of it. In the real world, someone like that would simply be crushed😠 So, how do you handle that kind of thing on a forum?
hollowtrucker77 said:Instead of making a scene online, you could just forward the stuff to an admin and expect them to fix the mess.
Because there's no denying it, the issue is definitely real.
Michelle Alvarez8 said:Believe it or not, this forum is basically one giant sandbox filled with cool toys—but also plenty of crap. Honestly, the worst thing you can do—worse than stepping in a pile of doo-doo—is actually taking any of this seriously. And that's exactly what happens when you give attention to people sending stuff like that.
That's just how I see things—just my two cents on how this whole forum works.
Since you asked, I’d say there are really only two ways to handle it. Option one:
a) delete the message;
b) hit them with the ignore button;
c) just forget about it.
Option two:
a) laugh it off;
b) troll the idiot whenever you're bored just to get an extra chuckle out of it.
That’s pretty much my playbook for hanging out here. Since I don't take this place seriously at all, the crowd that lives for "forum ego" has a massive problem with me. I've added a few of them to my ignore list—though, unfortunately, you can't ignore the moderators—but I still troll them just enough to pass the time and laugh at the ridiculous stuff they write to defend their precious online status.
It's a sandbox, I'm telling you.