Dealing with incontinence

Dear hiddenpanther41, I really appreciate those kind words you shared. 🙂
I deal with those same little "accidents" during the day too, but once night falls, things just don't hold up. 😢

If this had happened to my husband, nothing would have changed; I’d react the exact same way. But unfortunately, I know all too well that people tend to drift apart over much smaller issues than this.. 😢
I know I have to keep pushing forward... I just need to figure out a strategy so I don't lose my mind. There are moments where I feel like I'll just cry non-stop and lock myself inside the house forever...

Angela Wright said:From what you’re describing, it sounds like you're dealing with physical damage to the Sphincter caused by inflammation. It’s pretty clear that during the day, you’re consciously "clenching" to hold everything in, but once you drift off to sleep, those muscles relax and that's when the accidents happen. You really ought to see a urologist for a checkup and start doing some Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles responsible for bladder control.
http://www.tena.com/women/information/overactive-bladder/

Yeah, sphincter damage seems like a pretty plausible theory to me. But you'd need a cystoscopy to confirm that. If there actually is damage, it implies the inflammation was hanging around much longer than expected. Given where things stand now, I'm not convinced Kegels will do much heavy lifting, since they don't target smooth muscle. Maybe the sphincter will heal on its own over time. The key is to avoid letting this become a psychological ordeal.

So, use a diaper and stop obsessing over it. Things might just right themselves along the way. The human body is a strange machine. 🙂

swiftscout8 said:Yeah, sphincter damage seems like a pretty plausible theory to me. But you'd need a cystoscopy to confirm that. If there actually is damage, it implies the inflammation was hanging around much longer than expected. Given where things stand now, I'm not convinced Kegels will do much heavy lifting, since they don't target smooth muscle. Maybe the sphincter will heal on its own over time. The key is to avoid letting this become a psychological ordeal.

So, use a diaper and stop obsessing over it. Things might just right themselves along the way. The human body is a strange machine. 🙂

swiftscout8... Trust me, "just stop thinking about it" isn't exactly easy when your entire life suddenly starts revolving around making sure your diaper doesn't show through your clothes, or worrying about how to change it when you're out in public. Not to mention the constant sensation of it every time you move... that feeling of total helplessness when you realize you can't even control your own body.
I'm hoping things will improve eventually like you say, and I know there are worse things out there and I have to accept this reality, but honestly? I still have a massive lump in my throat. 😢

You have to pull yourself together because you don't have any other option. You're a fighter, and you have a child who deserves a mother who isn't just physically there, but actually present in spirit too.

Life isn't some fairy tale; this is reality. Life is always going to throw some kind of bullshit your way, but you can't let it knock you down immediately.

Honestly, if someone had told me I’d be having a kid, I would have gladly signed up to wear diapers for the rest of my life. I have neighbors whose son struggles with severe mental health issues and self-harm, and those parents just bravely keep pushing forward—that's what you have to do, too.

Take a second to look around at what you actually have. You are incredibly wealthy just by virtue of having a child and a husband who is sane and fully supportive.

Of course it's hard on you. That’s exactly why I suggested talking to a psychiatrist or a therapist.

That stress you mentioned... is it coming from work, or something else?

hiddenpanther41
I try my best to act like I have everything under control, but during those quiet moments when I finally catch my breath... I just end up breaking down. I guess it’ll pass eventually. You’re right, though—at home, I at least have my own sanctuary and everything I need. But you mentioned that someone close to you is dealing with something similar. Are we talking about someone younger, or perhaps someone more established? Tell me, how did they actually "cope" with it?

It’s true... the stress is a massive cocktail of work pressure, family obligations, zero free time, and feeling like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions at once.

Honestly, it feels like I’m the only one on this entire forum struggling with this... or maybe everyone else is just too hesitant to open up about their own experiences.😢

Forgive me if I missed something, but I’m genuinely struggling to understand what specific medical steps you've actually taken to address this issue?
Dealing with helplessness is easily the hardest part of the whole ordeal. But once you start tackling the problem head-on—specifically by pinpointing exactly what is going wrong, which is a prerequisite for any real fix—it becomes much easier to manage the entire situation.
Nobody ever reached the root of a problem or found a solution by sitting around wallowing in self-pity or feeling sorry for themselves, whether they were dealing with incontinence or anything else just as awkward or uncomfortable.

I have four packs of San Francisco incontinence pads that I’m happy to pass on to anyone who might need them.
Please send me a private message if you're interested, and I'll shoot over my phone number.
These are the larger size, similar to these:

(They measure 32x64 cm)

I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid, and honestly, my doctor just keeps circling back to the same old routine of testing for various viruses and bacteria. I’m heading back to her office tomorrow, and I was wondering if anyone here has a checklist of what I should actually be asking for—like, which specific referrals or diagnostic tests should I be pushing for?

Do I actually need a referral to see a urologist or get some urotherapy, or can she just go ahead and write up my test results herself?

She prescribed me some antibiotics, which I followed to the letter, but unfortunately, the whole issue is still hanging around.

Hey there!
I figured I’d jump in and describe my situation since this thread seems to be getting all the attention anyway. So, back at the start of September, I started dealing with this intense, constant urge to pee. I went to see my doctor, who suspected a UTI and put me on some antibiotics. It seemed to help for a tiny bit, but then the whole thing came roaring right back, and here we are today. I have gone through every single test you can imagine—swabs, ultrasounds, blood work, you name it—and everything comes back perfectly normal. One weird thing I noticed, though, is that it doesn't really bother me much when I'm just hanging out at home. It hits hardest when I'm driving or if I happen to be wearing jeans. Even being out at a coffee shop, it's fine while I'm walking, but once I sit down... well, you get the idea. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? And more importantly, did you actually find a fix?
Thanks!

I’m honestly not sure if anyone else has ever dealt with this specific issue, but I’ve been running into something lately—mostly while I’m at work—that happened both yesterday and today.

Since I work at this little corner grocery store where I’m basically the only one on my shift, I often have to dash to the restroom really quickly to take care of business before a customer walks in.

Yesterday, things were so rushed that I didn't even fully pull my pants down, and as I was getting dressed, I noticed they were wet—like, completely soaked with water.
At first, I just figured maybe I had accidentally leaked a little bit myself. But then, about an hour or two later, the exact same thing happened again.

Because the store was slammed that day, I started thinking that maybe I hadn't actually finished undressing properly, given that I was basically trying to go while half-sitting in such a hurry...

Well, it happened again today, though this time I actually managed to react in time by putting some toilet paper in my underwear, so I avoided the mess. (

I wouldn't say I'm going to the bathroom excessively, and there isn't any stinging or anything like that, it's more like... I don't know, it feels like my bladder doesn't fully empty. I think I've finished, but I haven't, and then that leftover bit just ends up on my clothes once I get dressed. I mean, I don't really have any control over that final bit, and it just leaks out without me even realizing it.

I'm really at a loss as to how I should even explain this to a doctor.

Should I be worried?

That’s just what happens when you start rushing everything and getting all worked up over trading—it's pure stress, man. Honestly, a little bit of extra padding wouldn't hurt at all here

Hi,

I have a bit of a "technical" or perhaps bureaucratic question—if anyone happens to know the answer, please let me know.

My mother (she's over 80) is dealing with some incontinence issues. She hasn't used pads before, but she really needs them now.

Her urologist noted the need for them in her medical report, and the local pharmacy gave her a few different samples to try out. However, now Medicare is asking for specific product codes and sizes to process the prescription...

I assume they need the code for the CMS database, but I’m honestly lost on where or how to find that information.

Should I head back to the pharmacy, or is there somewhere online I can look this up? The pharmacist gave us those trial pads without the packaging, so there isn't any labeling on them to go by.