WTF? Is it just me or is this person insane?

Moved to Health 🤣 🤣

coppergardener said:Well, I don't know how her cycle works. It seems more likely to me that she’s experiencing phantom bleeding, and what we are looking at is premature menopause—or in her specific case, perhaps surgical menopause(?). The symptoms can actually be much more unpleasant than a standard menopause. God knows how she is feeling, and whether she is taking any (hormone replacement) therapy in the correct dosages. In her situation, given the hormonal imbalance along with the nature of the illness and the surgery itself, it is almost inevitable that psychological issues will surface alongside a host of somatic problems. And that is to say, if you add a lack of family support(?), financial struggles, and who knows what else...

Of course, it is entirely possible that everything is fine on that front and she is handling her therapy beautifully, but...

...it is also possible that her immune system has been permanently wrecked(?). Not necessarily just from the treatment itself, but from heaven knows what else. And that is almost always inextricably linked to the psyche. It simply raises the question: once the recovery happened, which came first: the chicken or the egg—that is to say, the psyche or the soma(?)?

Then again, there is the possibility that her body is actually more or less all okay(?). So okay, in fact, that she could handle that particular task twice a week, but—alas!—she causes trouble for everyone else because the ordeal was so massive that she couldn't assimilate back into a normal state (and it is a non-negligible fact that her illness was diagnosed during such incredibly sensitive years), so she laments, and laments, and makes life difficult for herself and others, manipulating people in a passive-aggressive manner, dodging responsibility as if she were still living under siege, and simply...

...someone (since she clearly cannot do it herself) needs to hit her over the head with a mallet that says: "WAR IS OVER!"(?)

Regardless, if she truly plays badminton with such ease and only messes up when the tasks are already a disaster, then she should be told to step aside for someone for whom the job might be more necessary (given her level of disability), and someone who might perform it more conscientiously. Actually, regardless of the badminton. There is a difference between being collegial and allowing everything to be dumped onto your shoulders. And mentioning that mallet would certainly be highly recommended. Though, of course, it is more than possible that the woman truly is struggling and that her mornings are unbearable. And though none of us would want to find ourselves in a position where we desperately need money to feed a child and send them to school, having no choice but to work while ill despite being incapable of doing so. I don't know. You can't help her much. All employees suffer; the office AC is terrible; instead of letting her sabotage herself, why not let the person who hired her take the hit? Jeez. It isn't fair for everything to fall on you. No matter how hard it is for her. If you haven't already, draw a thick line. Be sharp and bitchy if you have to. Let her know she cannot be rude to you. Tell her off, but don't humiliate her—she probably really is having a hard time. If nothing changes, or if the lady continues in this tone, then go to the manager. Or even earlier, so that he can have a word with her, provided he is a normal human being. Regardless of the potential awkwardness. Honestly.

😲 Honestly, am I supposed to be the one fixing someone's tragic childhood?😲

Look, I KNOW for a fact that this woman—whom I nearly lost my temper with a while back—definitely has serious mental health struggles. She shows all the signs of depression (an expert knows😁). Her moods shift constantly. One minute she’s happy and laughing with you, and the next, her entire expression changes and she starts acting passive-aggressive. And then comes the audacity: "What did you mean by that?" followed by me wanting an apology for something she said, simply because she isn't having a good day. Maybe she had a nightmare or just "doesn't feel well," and suddenly everything is her problem.

I D O N T C A R EQ whether she's struggling or not, or if she didn't get enough affection growing up. If she wants to be difficult with me, she can deal with the consequences. There are plenty of facilities for that, and I made sure to tell her exactly that. As for those mood swings and sudden outbursts of yours, go talk to someone with an actual medical degree. I didn't go to med school, but I'm pretty sure there's a pill for everything. Go explain yourself to them; I couldn't care less.

Christian Sanchez4 said:😲 Honestly, am I supposed to be the one fixing someone's tragic childhood?😲

Look, I KNOW for a fact that this woman—whom I nearly lost my temper with a while back—definitely has serious mental health struggles. She shows all the signs of depression (an expert knows😁). Her moods shift constantly. One minute she’s happy and laughing with you, and the next, her entire expression changes and she starts acting passive-aggressive. And then comes the audacity: "What did you mean by that?" followed by me wanting an apology for something she said, simply because she isn't having a good day. Maybe she had a nightmare or just "doesn't feel well," and suddenly everything is her problem.

I D O N T C A R EQ whether she's struggling or not, or if she didn't get enough affection growing up. If she wants to be difficult with me, she can deal with the consequences. There are plenty of facilities for that, and I made sure to tell her exactly that. As for those mood swings and sudden outbursts of yours, go talk to someone with an actual medical degree. I didn't go to med school, but I'm pretty sure there's a pill for everything. Go explain yourself to them; I couldn't care less.

Now, I didn't mean to imply anything definitive—I was merely attempting to clarify a few points here! You see, understanding a situation doesn't necessarily require one to make a personal sacrifice in the process, does it? Please, do be a dear and read my entire post to the very end before drawing any conclusions.

I must apologize—my apologies for the slip of the tongue—but I seem to have lost my way for a moment there. Please excuse me! Who on earth decided to move this over to Health & Wellness?! !#@$%^ 🤣 Well, if only we could at least pivot this toward psychology... I am genuinely curious to see what kind of nonsense unfolds next—wait, hold on—it seems the moderator spotted the bolded mention of menopause and assumed the entire thread now falls under that specific category... oh, good grief. And here I was, getting ahead of myself and feeling quite optimistic that things were finally stabilizing. We really ought to be grateful, though—at least this hasn't been offloaded to those specialists over in Chicago.

redgardener5 said:Look, people can still function even after induced menopause—I see my own mom do it all the time.
Plus, she was sick twenty years ago and managed to have a baby in between... I mean, what are we even talking about here? 🙄

Yes, I am well aware of that—which is precisely why I laid out several different possible scenarios.

She’s essentially on her own, having lost everyone else except for an aunt who won't even speak to her because she spent her whole life struggling to make ends meet. I genuinely feel for her, I really do, but I refuse to let the entire weight of her situation fall squarely on my shoulders; we shouldn't all have to sacrifice our own lives just to carry her through. There's simply no way I'm going to do that—I'd rather just hand in my resignation. She’s only 36, so menopause shouldn't be an issue yet, though I suppose when you're down to a single ovary, you can never truly predict when your cycle will hit. She actually took five days off in advance once just because she expected her period to start, acting as if the rest of us don't deal with those same biological realities. She isn't taking any hormones or medication because she says her chemotherapy treatments prevent her from doing so, which explains why it takes her forever to recover from something as simple as a common cold. If she could just perform her job duties professionally without constantly making life difficult for the rest of the team, I wouldn't say a word, but this has reached a breaking point for me. I find myself venting about it to everyone, including management, but nothing ever changes. I fear the day I finally snap and have to present them with an ultimatum: it’s either her or me. On top of all this, she claims to have these prophetic dreams about what’s going to happen next.

Roger Palmer2 said:Last year, a woman started working for me, someone who claims to be a cancer survivor—which I think will make sense later on. She is incredibly subtle and quiet, and even when things go sideways, she maintains this composed demeanor. I’m quite different from her; I tend to express everything I experience, though perhaps she just processes things in her own way, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It all began when she started coming in twice a week as extra help, but eventually, the dynamic shifted so that the rest of us were constantly stepping in because she simply couldn't manage. She claims she can't work two days in a row because she catches a cold or feels unwell, so she ended up working something like Mondays and Thursdays, leaving huge gaps in between. When you ask her to fill in, she's unavailable. About twenty years ago, she battled cancer that had metastasized to her back and lungs, but through chemotherapy, she supposedly resolved it all; however, she claims she achieved this through fasting, prayer, and practicing "the silence of light," and she still insists she hasn't fully healed. I should mention that she had her son at twenty, having been diagnosed at fifteen, and since they didn't remove half an ovary during her treatment, there was significant concern about recurrence when she became pregnant. Regardless, with only half an ovary, she knows exactly when her cycle will hit, and she uses those days as an excuse to skip work because she isn't feeling well—which isn't my problem, but it's a pattern. When we try to coordinate vacation time, she insists on taking the longest stretches because her doctor told her she needs to live by the ocean. She also claims she can't send a text message in neat, legible handwriting because her joints ache so much that she just makes a mess of it; yet, when she went to the coast with a colleague, she supposedly couldn't cook lunch or wash dishes, but somehow found the energy to play badminton with her son. Essentially, whenever anything goes wrong and she is at fault, she retreats into the excuse that she isn't feeling well or is in pain. She demands seven consecutive days off whenever she's feeling under the weather, expects to be thirty minutes late, and acts as though her heavy chemotherapy from decades ago dictates her current lifestyle. I honestly can't listen to it anymore; it’s becoming incredibly grating. I have no desire to accuse her of lying, but many parts of her story just don't add up to me. I am not a medical expert, so I don't know what the long-term side effects of chemo are twenty years later, nor do I know if it's medically plausible to have half an ovary left after such an aggressive diagnosis, especially since she hasn't seen a doctor in the last ten days. To top it off, a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer, and when I asked this colleague to reach out with a kind word, she never sent a single message and never once asked how my friend was doing.

Am I being crazy or just unkind?

I honestly couldn't tell you. But I am certain of one thing: you were definitely the kid getting A's and B's on those elementary school math worksheets, weren't you?

I used to consistently score around a 4 or a 5 on those assessments. I tend to write quite quickly when I'm sitting down to compose something, so I don't always pay much attention to the finer points of grammar.

my apologies.

Honestly, I feel like she’s just playing all of you—maybe even the boss? Like, if she's his mistress or something, that would explain why he keeps her around. And look, if she was sick once, like twenty years ago, after seven years of being clear without any recurrence or metastasis, you're pretty much considered recovered. You don't really feel those chemo side effects that far down the road. Trust me, people who have dealt with cancer—or are dealing with it now—don't go around bragging about it. They're just happy they can actually show up to work and get things done. Being able to work means you're doing okay! I think she's totally faking it. I'm almost 100% sure of it!!!!

My supervisor is a woman, and I’ve noticed she carries herself quite differently when we are face-to-face compared to our usual interactions. Because of the nature of my role, she isn't physically present with us in the office; most of our communication happens over the phone. While I am personally convinced that the rumors circulating aren't true and that there is an entirely different issue at play here, I have never experienced anything firsthand to validate those claims, so it feels somewhat silly of me to even bring it up. Regardless, I have decided that I am no longer going to let myself be swayed by such nonsense.

I don't even know what you do for a living, but I know everyone loves to hype up "teamwork" & crap like that—which is really just a fancy way of describing what you're talking about, where people act on behalf of others. Look, I work in a team that runs smooth as hell, but there's always an outlier. In our small circle of maybe ten people, we have one who—in my opinion—has the most put-together life ever. She’s got the husband, the kid, the smallest mortgage, tightest deadlines, and a decent inheritance... yet she spends every single day whining, moaning, groaning, and screaming about how her paycheck is too small, or how she had to deal with some idiot at the bank, or how it's too hot or too cold—blah, blah, blah. Seriously, you won't find drama like this even in the worst soap operas. Every day I just tune it out. I'm busy doing my own thing while she's venting about nonsense; I give her the "I'm not listening" eyes, but I don't say a word to her constant bitching, and she just keeps going. I honestly can't tell if she wants me to offer to take over her job—maybe she thinks I can because I don't have the whole marriage & kids & stuff situation—but I couldn't care less about her self-inflicted problems. The only real issue I see with her is the extra weight she's carrying, and trust me, I can't burn those calories off for her.

So yeah, just keep doing your thing. Ignore her and she'll eventually get the hint—if she doesn't, maybe open a window and suggest she jump out (hope she listens), then close the window and get back to work.

I would honestly prefer to just look the other way if it weren't for the fact that her constant health issues are putting me in such an awkward position regarding our shift schedule. It feels like there is always something wrong—one day she can't work because of her period, the next she's struggling to breathe, or she's dealing with a runny nose or just feeling generally unwell. I always try to maintain that I don't care about the office drama, but I have to admit, it’s becoming incredibly frustrating. It seems like every single damn day there is some new issue

Look, just tell her you've got an appointment at the salon, or maybe a hair thing—or even better, say you're on a date... if the Wi-Fi is acting up and you can't exactly open a window to talk, just claim you're heading in for an MRI or something. Say you're busy all afternoon or whatever—it's not like you're lying, right?

Haha, you really could. 🙂

My wife is still acting completely irrational; she’s been running late for work lately and has started coming up with these bizarre excuses, like how she had to stop on the side of the road to rescue earthworms so they wouldn't get crushed by traffic. Honestly, I don't really know what to say to her, especially since I don't work at that firm anymore, so I've decided to just let her deal with it on her own. 😁