Recovering from heroin addiction and dealing with the fallout

Hey everyone.
I finally decided to sign up here, though I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently managing a few different medications. I had a serious struggle with heroin in the past, so I’m also taking 18 tablets of methadone a day. Starting today, I’m adding Citalopram to the mix—beginning with half a 20mg pill for four days before moving up to a full dose. I'm also supposed to take 25mg of Prazosin three times a day, I think. I'm honestly pretty terrified about the side effects. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this kind of regimen and if the depression will actually lift. I deal with this crushing sense of guilt that started when I was 14 and has only gotten worse as I've hit 22. Even though I'm young, I spent five years struggling with heroin; I've been clean for six months now thanks to methadone treatment, but the depression is still hanging over me like a cloud. My psychiatrist mentioned that antidepressants take a long time to kick in and that I’ll likely be on them for the long haul. Has anyone here actually managed to beat their depression?

Anonymous said:Hey everyone.
I finally decided to sign up here, though I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently managing a few different medications. I had a serious struggle with heroin in the past, so I’m also taking 18 tablets of methadone a day. Starting today, I’m adding Citalopram to the mix—beginning with half a 20mg pill for four days before moving up to a full dose. I'm also supposed to take 25mg of Prazosin three times a day, I think. I'm honestly pretty terrified about the side effects. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this kind of regimen and if the depression will actually lift. I deal with this crushing sense of guilt that started when I was 14 and has only gotten worse as I've hit 22. Even though I'm young, I spent five years struggling with heroin; I've been clean for six months now thanks to methadone treatment, but the depression is still hanging over me like a cloud. My psychiatrist mentioned that antidepressants take a long time to kick in and that I’ll likely be on them for the long haul. Has anyone here actually managed to beat their depression?

Man, why on earth are you taking that much methadone? You're going to burn your stomach out!
Have you ever thought about looking into a rehab community?
My brother is an addict and went through one of those residential programs, but you really have to be dead set on it for it to work.

Ugh, if your liver and brain can actually handle it, you’ll consider yourself lucky.
I know from experience that Citalopram tends to trigger quite a few side effects initially, though you might start feeling a genuine lift in your mood after about three months. You become more sociable, more upbeat—you just feel better. But getting off Citalopram? Good grief... it's a nightmare.
Headaches, insomnia, those "brain zaps" that feel like electric shocks in your skull—it's a total disaster. Just a quick heads-up: Citalopram doesn't cause psychological addiction, but it does create a physical dependency, so stopping abruptly just throws your entire system into chaos.
As for Prazo, I'm not an expert, but since that's an antipsychotic, it can cause extrapyramidal symptoms or things resembling Parkinsonism. You really ought to have your doctor walk you through that.

I won't lecture you, but honestly, what led you down the path of drug use? It's a dark place to be. 😢

I truly hope you make a full recovery soon.
Good luck.

wiredpuma5 said:Ugh, if your liver and brain can actually handle it, you’ll consider yourself lucky.
I know from experience that Citalopram tends to trigger quite a few side effects initially, though you might start feeling a genuine lift in your mood after about three months. You become more sociable, more upbeat—you just feel better. But getting off Citalopram? Good grief... it's a nightmare.
Headaches, insomnia, those "brain zaps" that feel like electric shocks in your skull—it's a total disaster. Just a quick heads-up: Citalopram doesn't cause psychological addiction, but it does create a physical dependency, so stopping abruptly just throws your entire system into chaos.
As for Prazo, I'm not an expert, but since that's an antipsychotic, it can cause extrapyramidal symptoms or things resembling Parkinsonism. You really ought to have your doctor walk you through that.

I won't lecture you, but honestly, what led you down the path of drug use? It's a dark place to be. 😢

I truly hope you make a full recovery soon.
Good luck.

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That's a fair question about why I started using. Honestly, I don't even know myself. I started when I was 14—just a kid, naive, inexperienced, and with plenty of cash in my pocket. I was the perfect target for dealers, and an easy one at that. I've learned a lot, though, mostly just trying to claw my way out of it. I'm on 5mg of Heptanon; it's not much, I barely even feel it, I basically just take it to keep the withdrawal away. But the depression and this weird psychosis are killing me. It feels like constant panic attacks; I get this overwhelming sense of dread and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's such intense fear that it triggers actual panic, and it feels like it's driving me insane. That's why the doctor prescribed Prazin and Citalopram. On top of all these feelings, I've been carrying this guilt since childhood that fueled my depression, and the drugs definitely made everything worse. Back when I was on heroin, things were different—there was always that euphoria, I always felt good. With Heptanon, that's gone, and it feels like there's just a permanent void left in my head. I'm so confused. I want to go through rehab, but I feel too weak. I can't face the withdrawal; the agony is more than I can take. I feel like my brain might actually snap.

Anonymous said:

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That's a fair question about why I started using. Honestly, I don't even know myself. I started when I was 14—just a kid, naive, inexperienced, and with plenty of cash in my pocket. I was the perfect target for dealers, and an easy one at that. I've learned a lot, though, mostly just trying to claw my way out of it. I'm on 5mg of Heptanon; it's not much, I barely even feel it, I basically just take it to keep the withdrawal away. But the depression and this weird psychosis are killing me. It feels like constant panic attacks; I get this overwhelming sense of dread and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's such intense fear that it triggers actual panic, and it feels like it's driving me insane. That's why the doctor prescribed Prazin and Citalopram. On top of all these feelings, I've been carrying this guilt since childhood that fueled my depression, and the drugs definitely made everything worse. Back when I was on heroin, things were different—there was always that euphoria, I always felt good. With Heptanon, that's gone, and it feels like there's just a permanent void left in my head. I'm so confused. I want to go through rehab, but I feel too weak. I can't face the withdrawal; the agony is more than I can take. I feel like my brain might actually snap.

You wouldn't snap because people in rehab (at least in the recovery communities) work on the psychological side of things.
The most important thing is that whenever a crisis hits, you need to talk to someone; it helps. You've messed up your life with drugs, sure, but you still have the chance to fix everything and get on the right track. Are you seeing a psychologist?

Anonymous said:

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That's a fair question about why I started using. Honestly, I don't even know myself. I started when I was 14—just a kid, naive, inexperienced, and with plenty of cash in my pocket. I was the perfect target for dealers, and an easy one at that. I've learned a lot, though, mostly just trying to claw my way out of it. I'm on 5mg of Heptanon; it's not much, I barely even feel it, I basically just take it to keep the withdrawal away. But the depression and this weird psychosis are killing me. It feels like constant panic attacks; I get this overwhelming sense of dread and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's such intense fear that it triggers actual panic, and it feels like it's driving me insane. That's why the doctor prescribed Prazin and Citalopram. On top of all these feelings, I've been carrying this guilt since childhood that fueled my depression, and the drugs definitely made everything worse. Back when I was on heroin, things were different—there was always that euphoria, I always felt good. With Heptanon, that's gone, and it feels like there's just a permanent void left in my head. I'm so confused. I want to go through rehab, but I feel too weak. I can't face the withdrawal; the agony is more than I can take. I feel like my brain might actually snap.

Your "picture"—or rather, your current state—is almost identical to mine... I'm also on heptanone, but in liquid form—8ml, which is basically like taking 16 tablets—and on top of that, I take Citalopram for the depression...
I'm feeling the same way you are... I don't even notice those 16 doses of heptanone; there's no euphoria at all. I just take them so I can function, and I suppose I'll have to stay on the Citalopram for a while longer before I start seeing any real effect... you'll see.😉 Some people need it for longer, others for less... but the most important thing is finding the specific dosage that actually works for you. That's crucial!

Anonymous said:Hey everyone.
I finally decided to sign up here, though I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently managing a few different medications. I had a serious struggle with heroin in the past, so I’m also taking 18 tablets of methadone a day. Starting today, I’m adding Citalopram to the mix—beginning with half a 20mg pill for four days before moving up to a full dose. I'm also supposed to take 25mg of Prazosin three times a day, I think. I'm honestly pretty terrified about the side effects. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this kind of regimen and if the depression will actually lift. I deal with this crushing sense of guilt that started when I was 14 and has only gotten worse as I've hit 22. Even though I'm young, I spent five years struggling with heroin; I've been clean for six months now thanks to methadone treatment, but the depression is still hanging over me like a cloud. My psychiatrist mentioned that antidepressants take a long time to kick in and that I’ll likely be on them for the long haul. Has anyone here actually managed to beat their depression?

Man... it feels like you're reading my mind. It's almost like I wrote this myself. 🙂
I am also on methadone and antidepressants. Everything is basically identical to your situation, except I’m taking 16 methadone tablets and 20mg of Citalopram a day.

The antidepressants will eventually work... trust me, I was on them for a long, long time—well over two months—before things suddenly started shifting for the better. I don't feel nearly as depressed anymore; things are feeling much more manageable. 🙂 👍
I suppose you just have to have patience while the antidepressant settles in... for some people, it happens quickly, but for others, it might take half a year. The main thing is finding the one that actually works for your chemistry. I tried Zoloft, Effexor, and Paxil, but none of them felt right for me. This current one, however, seems to suit me quite well. 🙂.

If there is a downside, it’s... a certain indifference toward sex, almost like you've become Asexual. But honestly, it seems like anyone on these types of medications, especially at high doses like we are, ends up feeling Asexual. Don't worry too much about it, though... if you take a two-day break from the methadone, it’s almost like taking Viagra. 😉

Take care!

Anonymous said:Hey everyone.
I finally decided to sign up here, though I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently managing a few different medications. I had a serious struggle with heroin in the past, so I’m also taking 18 tablets of methadone a day. Starting today, I’m adding Citalopram to the mix—beginning with half a 20mg pill for four days before moving up to a full dose. I'm also supposed to take 25mg of Prazosin three times a day, I think. I'm honestly pretty terrified about the side effects. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this kind of regimen and if the depression will actually lift. I deal with this crushing sense of guilt that started when I was 14 and has only gotten worse as I've hit 22. Even though I'm young, I spent five years struggling with heroin; I've been clean for six months now thanks to methadone treatment, but the depression is still hanging over me like a cloud. My psychiatrist mentioned that antidepressants take a long time to kick in and that I’ll likely be on them for the long haul. Has anyone here actually managed to beat their depression?

My situation is somewhat similar to yours, though I take 10ml in solution every day, which is essentially the same as 20 tablets of Methadone. And yes, I said twenty—please don't come for me, haha, because I know for many people even 15 feels like way too much. I have to admit, the Methadone helps me function normally, but I still struggle with heavy depression; my doctor diagnosed me with severe post-rehab depression, so alongside the Methadone, I'm also taking Effexor, Zoloft, and Xanax. As for me, things did eventually start looking up regarding the depression, but it didn't happen until about two months in... it really does take a while for an antidepressant to actually work. For some, it takes longer, and for others, it’s faster, but the main thing is that it will help. I guess you just have to be patient and you'll see.😉

Anonymous said:

__________________________________________________ __________________

That's a fair question about why I started using. Honestly, I don't even know myself. I started when I was 14—just a kid, naive, inexperienced, and with plenty of cash in my pocket. I was the perfect target for dealers, and an easy one at that. I've learned a lot, though, mostly just trying to claw my way out of it. I'm on 5mg of Heptanon; it's not much, I barely even feel it, I basically just take it to keep the withdrawal away. But the depression and this weird psychosis are killing me. It feels like constant panic attacks; I get this overwhelming sense of dread and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's such intense fear that it triggers actual panic, and it feels like it's driving me insane. That's why the doctor prescribed Prazin and Citalopram. On top of all these feelings, I've been carrying this guilt since childhood that fueled my depression, and the drugs definitely made everything worse. Back when I was on heroin, things were different—there was always that euphoria, I always felt good. With Heptanon, that's gone, and it feels like there's just a permanent void left in my head. I'm so confused. I want to go through rehab, but I feel too weak. I can't face the withdrawal; the agony is more than I can take. I feel like my brain might actually snap.

Look, you really need to get into a detox program as soon as possible; it's truly the most effective way to break free from addiction. If you stay on this path, you aren't going anywhere—you'll just end up spinning your wheels in circles forever. I had a dear friend who went through almost everything you just described, and while I don't know all the specifics, professional rehab was the only thing that actually worked for him.
I can tell you're completely burnt out and your mind is a total whirlwind of chaos right now, but I truly believe that with enough willpower and genuine effort, you can pull through this. Just keep in mind that life without heroin is going to be so much better and more fulfilling than this!
Good luck!

Anonymous said:Hey everyone.
I finally decided to sign up here, though I’ve been lurking on Reddit for a while now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently managing a few different medications. I had a serious struggle with heroin in the past, so I’m also taking 18 tablets of methadone a day. Starting today, I’m adding Citalopram to the mix—beginning with half a 20mg pill for four days before moving up to a full dose. I'm also supposed to take 25mg of Prazosin three times a day, I think. I'm honestly pretty terrified about the side effects. I just want to know if anyone has experience with this kind of regimen and if the depression will actually lift. I deal with this crushing sense of guilt that started when I was 14 and has only gotten worse as I've hit 22. Even though I'm young, I spent five years struggling with heroin; I've been clean for six months now thanks to methadone treatment, but the depression is still hanging over me like a cloud. My psychiatrist mentioned that antidepressants take a long time to kick in and that I’ll likely be on them for the long haul. Has anyone here actually managed to beat their depression?

I was wondering, do you experience any withdrawals or crises after being on that amount of methadone for six months? You must have built up quite a tolerance by now on those 18 doses, so I’m curious if your tolerance has significantly increased over time.

It feels like it’s been an absolute eternity since anyone has dropped a new post in here........

I had been consistently taking 20 mg of Citalopram for about three years straight—though, by some stroke of bad luck, I ended up without any refills when my doctor changed. It resulted in this sudden, abrupt stop from the medication, and honestly, the withdrawal crisis I went through was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It started out hitting me hard physically, but eventually, it shifted into my mental state, and now I find myself having to navigate twice the amount of chaos I was dealing with before.

I know a guy named Victor—he goes through these massive crises, but he just keeps circling back to the exact same spot every single time. 😢

I honestly don't know how Citadel works for depression given the huge variety of antidepressants out there, but anyone claiming this heptanone destroys your liver is spreading pure misinformation. I know someone very close to me who takes much higher doses, and even then, their blood work—specifically things like GGT, ALT, and transaminases—stays perfectly within the normal range. They just stay disciplined with their diet and avoid alcohol entirely. That said, mixing heptanone with alcohol is truly a destructive combination. When it comes to the brain, though, that's a different story; you can end up dealing with memory issues later on, similar to older addicts, and staying on maintenance therapy becomes a frequent necessity. In New York City, there are two main places where people can check in: -The Vineyard location (Schumann isn't there anymore, and in my opinion, they tend to overdo it with the maintenance therapy. I know how it used to be when the limit was 20 pills—basically one bottle—but some individuals push it to 40 or 50 because they simply can't help themselves). Then there are those old-timers who don't really do much besides pushing the Hepes, which is basically their only way to make a living. -The other center is located on Main Street at the "Andrija Štampar" facility, right across from the Mayo Clinic "Jim Thorpe." That spot is better because you can walk in without a referral, and they aren't quite as aggressive with the maintenance. For instance, the maximum is around 20 Hepes, or about two pills.