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Living with PTSD

Started by Donna Sullivan7 · · 👁 4 views · 36 replies

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Participants Donna Sullivan7Jeremy Hayes7Alexander LewisHenry Grant62frozenpilot2Nathan Newman3David Brown34Lisa Kern38bluedriver2Eric Rogers39Henry Stewart2brisktinker15Kyle Nelson2velvetsailor6jadesailor14rustyridgeJack Lopez95Karen Bishop40Keith Anderson4
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#1 ·
After years of combat and getting wounded, I finally got diagnosed with PTSD. I was pretty skeptical about the diagnosis at first, honestly... but then it hit me. I’ve been sinking deep into insomnia, drinking way too much, acting out, having nightmares... just lost interest in hanging out with people. Nothing brings me joy anymore, and I'm constantly on edge. What really gets under my skin are those war stories from people who barely saw a day of action or weren't even near the front lines...
Then there's all the manipulation surrounding this diagnosis. Take a single short military operation, for example—something that lasted just a few days, yet somehow produced more PTSD claims than the entire major conflict combined. How does that even work? It’s pretty obvious they're just chasing benefits like pensions or subsidized housing...
It eats at me the most when I run into certain well-known people and I know for a fact they never even stepped foot on a battlefield, yet they managed to dig their way into a pension. God bless our government bureaucracy...
Jeremy Hayes7 Jeremy Hayes7 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Nov 2008
#2 ·
I can’t really offer much in the way of solutions, but man, reading about what you're going through... it really hit home. I just wanted to say, hang in there. Life is a constant grind, and if anyone knows that better than most, it's you. 😉 🙂
Alexander Lewis Alexander Lewis Member
49 messages
joined May 2014
#3 ·
PTSD is a serious issue. Personally, I think you can develop it from just about any kind of intense psychological trauma, not just from seeing combat. Unfortunately, people take advantage of the system all too often...
Henry Grant62 Henry Grant62 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Oct 2007
#4 ·
Donna Sullivan7, stay safe. Like the previous poster said, life is a constant struggle... we're only just beginning to feel the long-term fallout from that damn war.
It’s sad what you said about the administration, but honestly, the government is just fundamentally corrupt. Politicians act like they built and defended this country, when the real heroes were YOU—our heroes who stood on the front lines 24/7 just so the rest of us could live our lives.
I was just a kid during the war, but whenever I saw a soldier, my heart would swell. I saw true role models in you all back then; you were our pride.
It’s heartbreaking to see how veterans are being treated today. People who truly deserve care and a pension are being pushed aside by the "sons of the elite" who got everything handed to them through connections without ever seeing combat.
I hope this corrupt leadership eventually comes to an end, and that honest, decent people finally lead America. I’m an optimist, so I suppose we just need to be patient...
frozenpilot2 frozenpilot2 Member
10 messages
joined Feb 2005
#5 ·
Henry Grant62 said:Donna Sullivan7, stay safe. Like the previous poster said, life is a constant struggle... we're only just beginning to feel the long-term fallout from that damn war.
It’s sad what you said about the administration, but honestly, the government is just fundamentally corrupt. Politicians act like they built and defended this country, when the real heroes were YOU—our heroes who stood on the front lines 24/7 just so the rest of us could live our lives.
I was just a kid during the war, but whenever I saw a soldier, my heart would swell. I saw true role models in you all back then; you were our pride.
It’s heartbreaking to see how veterans are being treated today. People who truly deserve care and a pension are being pushed aside by the "sons of the elite" who got everything handed to them through connections without ever seeing combat.
I hope this corrupt leadership eventually comes to an end, and that honest, decent people finally lead America. I’m an optimist, so I suppose we just need to be patient...

I’m speechless. I sign off on every single word here. Kudos to you for your perspective and for speaking out.
Nathan Newman3 Nathan Newman3 Member
16 messages
joined Mar 2012
#6 ·
I’m standing with everyone here on the forum—if that actually helps you at all, just keep posting how you feel.
You clearly know your way around a keyboard, so use it. Write about the issues, the injustices, and everything else weighing you down or affecting people in your shoes. Start a blog, or whatever...
It might actually make a difference if you connect with people going through the exact same thing. Try to look at it from a different angle. You might have some PTSD sufferer sitting alone in a corner somewhere, feeling totally misunderstood and spiraling toward something dark, and then they stumble onto your posts and realize they aren't alone. If you can't fix the unfairness directly, at least talk about it. Don't let them just sweep it under the rug.
Think of it as your little "mission," if you will.
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#7 ·
Man, I’m dealing with a mountain of issues right now, and it’s just draining the life out of me day after day. Basically, my health has taken a turn for the worse, so I need to go before the medical board to get approval for the meds I’ve been paying way too much for out of pocket. Now they’re telling me they lost my service records... which is my legal right to have, and without them, I can't even get a hearing. God, this administration is a joke. They just bounce you from one office to another and nobody actually does anything. It makes me wonder how I’d ever be honorably
retired otherwise? And it’s just the same old story, over and over... while the scammers have no trouble at all. If you had connections before, you still have them today. It's pathetic... When I headed off to war, I walked away from my junior year of college, and since I was a volunteer, I didn't even realize I was entitled to hazard pay (which the so-called officers used to skim off us) until we saw it in the news and finally asked at a briefing. Since I wasn't in the US Army, I barely knew how to load a rifle, but most importantly, if duty called again, I’d step up as a volunteer in a heartbeat, despite this incompetent
bureaucracy (honestly, maybe that's part of the PTSD too)... I'd fight without hesitation because it's the only thing I know how to do. Fighting comes easier than fighting for my own rights, which feels like they're stripping them away on purpose. Thanks.
David Brown34 David Brown34 Newcomer
1 message
joined Oct 2007
#8 ·
I guess I could say that stories like yours kind of fascinate me... mostly because you guys actually understand what it means to truly suffer... man, there really isn't any other way, you just have to fight through it, get the treatment you need... and please, stay away from alcohol or anything else people use as a so-called "comfort," because that stuff doesn't actually help anyone, it just makes you bury yourself deeper... maybe if you just pick some kind of goal in life and really fight for it, things might change.
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#9 ·
I honestly think most of my struggles come from dealing with PTSD after the war... seeing people get rich overnight through pure corruption while those who actually earned their stripes get left behind. It’s infuriating. There are so many people out there who are just lost, having no clue where to turn because our bureaucracy is absolutely ruthless... they just bounce you from one office to another with zero empathy, leaving you stuck in limbo. I’m convinced some politicians actually love it this way; they thrive on keeping us divided, pitting neighbors against each other by playing favorites with the system. One person gets everything, the next gets nothing, and before you know it, resentment and bitterness take over. If only we could find a way to actually organize... but not just another formal nonprofit that spends all its time talking to itself instead of making a difference.
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#10 ·
So, basically, after years of combat and getting wounded, I was officially diagnosed with PTSD.
At first, I was pretty skeptical about that diagnosis, along with everything else. But as time goes on and my memories start coming back in these weird little fragments... I’ve noticed some massive changes in myself. Like, depression, insomnia, nightmares, hopelessness, anxiety...
I actually miss the war (honestly, I think I got more hooked on combat than I ever did on heroin), plus there's the drinking, the pills, the anti-anxiety meds...
Most days, I just wish I didn't have to drag myself out of bed in the morning, it's such a struggle...
I wish I could just sleep through the whole damn day. And as for "friends" and social circles, I'm starting to see it's all just people looking out for themselves, which just adds to the weight of it all. I know the war ended a long time ago, but for me, I'm still right there in the middle of it. How is that even possible?...
I've seen dozens of different psychiatrists, and everyone has their own theory and their own cocktail of meds. Does anyone know how much chronic PTSD actually pays out through the VA disability board when you factor in the physical wounds—like the constant ringing in my head, a ruptured right eardrum, and most importantly: after being wounded, I literally bled out and needed a transfusion, only for it to turn out years later that I contracted Hepatitis C. I don't think I'm the only one... Is there some kind of scale for specific diagnoses so we can compare, and is there any way to get compensation from the US Armed Forces? Since it was their mistake that we got infected with Hepatitis—which is a silent killer, believe me, I know firsthand...
Is there any kind of payout for this if it's even possible??? Thanks. Z:
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#11 ·
It really bugs me when people who never even saw combat suddenly come crawling out of the woodwork claiming they have PTSD just to snag some benefits. Look, I get it—there are plenty of loopholes in the VA system, and that’s not my job to fix. But honestly, everyone knows where these types hang out... you see them everywhere except in their own neighborhoods. Why do you think that is? Probably because there's a tiny bit of discomfort there, and they want to avoid running into actual veterans... (and let's be real, those encounters can get pretty awkward). Also, massive shoutout to Operation Desert Storm, which was executed flawlessly; it lasted a week and somehow resulted in more PTSD cases than the entire Vietnam War combined. Isn't that just completely absurd?
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#12 ·
So, what kind of wide spectrum of manipulation are we talking about here? Look, I get it—it’s tough to tell the difference between volunteers, veterans, guys who were drafted, those with disabilities, war heroes, and all that. It’s hard to pin down one strict rule they all follow... To me, it’s pretty obvious that if someone signed up as a volunteer, they're treated as one, even if they only spent a day or two on the line before heading home. Legally speaking, they still hold that volunteer status regardless of when they left their post. And a veteran? Theoretically, someone could get hit on day one, be under medical care for six months, and they're still considered a veteran of the conflict. But as for deserters, I wouldn't advocate for any kind of wartime amnesty... because when you're on guard duty, ten lives depend on you being there. Personally, if someone isn't cut out for the heavy lifting or holding the front lines, I wouldn't force them through mobilization papers. Honestly, there were plenty of volunteers back then... it was just the terrible organization that messed everything up. That lack of structure became an excuse for a lot of people, like saying "war is just war." Now I’m sitting here wondering; couldn't we have gotten through this with fewer casualties if the organization had been better? Instead of forcing those kids who were basically untrained into certain death... who's actually going to take responsibility for that? Because let's be real, it's much safer and more effective when a trained volunteer is the one holding
the line and taking back towns, rather than some college kid who was just drafted. You see where I'm going with this?
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#13 ·
Also, I’m pretty lost on how they scale PTSD diagnoses... I hear everything from impulsive types and chronic cases to logorrhea, acute stuff, and random episodes. Plus, it feels like PTSD can slide into addiction way too easily:
A—alcoholism (just a fallout from the PTSD)
B—drug abuse (using substances to cope with PTSD)

-PERSONALITY DISORDERS—I'm not even sure if those stem from PTSD? Though, I guess a personality disorder can just be its own thing anyway.

If anyone actually knows what they're talking about, could you please break down the diagnosis for us? Like, give me the full rundown... and if possible, how much disability percentage each specific type usually gets. Thanks...
Lisa Kern38 Lisa Kern38 Member
38 messages
joined Aug 2010
#14 ·
Look, man... I don't know everything you've been through in life, and honestly, I don't really care. That might sound harsh, saying I don't care about your past, but it's just how it is. I remember '91 clearly enough, and I know what went down. But look at it this way: someone who was in the war back in '91 had a job to do, just like someone else will have to go to war if God forbid it happens again in the year 2534. Being in the service in '91 or whenever else—well, that's just bad luck, I guess. You get me? You had a duty, and you did it.
Now you're sitting here arguing over who's a real veteran and who isn't. It doesn't matter. Kids today don't even know what happened, and the older generation is so buried in debt they couldn't care less. What happened, happened, and we move on.
Find a hobby or something. Get busy with something. You’ve made an excuse to obsess over being sick, and that isn't helping. Does this whole life thing even have a point? Who knows. If you love life too much, it'll suck when the day comes that you have to die, and if you don't love it, well, people end up killing themselves. See? Two extremes, both with fatal outcomes.
So maybe just find a middle ground. We're all just stuck in this mess. Personally, I'm more worried about how people have turned into wolves toward one another. It feels like we've all drifted apart. Values are totally warped nowadays, and man, imagine what's waiting for kids today. It's scary. They'll probably have it even worse than you, and they aren't even close to seeing a war. You feel me?
You're wasting your energy on useless stuff, wondering if someone was a true soldier or a fraud. Only you know what you actually did and if you did it right. Did you do something wrong? If you did, and you regret it, that's fine. If you didn't do anything wrong, that's also fine. See? It works out either way, I guess. So
Just enjoy what little life you have left. Don't waste it. If you can't help yourself, try helping someone who needs it more than you do. Karma usually comes around eventually.
bluedriver2 bluedriver2 Member
16 messages
joined Nov 2007
#15 ·
Donna Sullivan7 said:Also, I’m pretty lost on how they scale PTSD diagnoses... I hear everything from impulsive types and chronic cases to logorrhea, acute stuff, and random episodes. Plus, it feels like PTSD can slide into addiction way too easily:
A—alcoholism (just a fallout from the PTSD)
B—drug abuse (using substances to cope with PTSD)

-PERSONALITY DISORDERS—I'm not even sure if those stem from PTSD? Though, I guess a personality disorder can just be its own thing anyway.

If anyone actually knows what they're talking about, could you please break down the diagnosis for us? Like, give me the full rundown... and if possible, how much disability percentage each specific type usually gets. Thanks...


PTSD shows up in a ton of different ways. Your disability rating basically comes down to how much you can actually function in daily life and how much those symptoms mess with your world.

Meds help, sure, but psychotherapy is a must... especially on those bad days when things trigger you and pull you right back, even after you thought you’d finally clawed your way out after years. You probably already have a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or at least a primary care doctor...

Then there's what Lisa Kern38 put it like, which sounds pretty harsh: just trying to force yourself into a routine, a job, a hobby, family, friends...

That feeling of being a victim for what you went through (which, in these peaceful times, can feel like a wasted sacrifice) hurts, and it triggers the symptoms all over again. It’s part of the sickness. And yeah, people should treat you with respect—Lisa Kern38 isn't being mean, she's just being blunt—but "normal" people get bored hearing stories about stuff that happened years ago. So, because of their own issues, they start poking at you in their own aggressive way. It’s not your job to fix their behavior. Just try to understand them so you don't lose your cool.

And seriously, find professional help. Hanging out with people in the same boat helps a lot more than you'd think.
bluedriver2 bluedriver2 Member
16 messages
joined Nov 2007
#16 ·
Donna Sullivan7 said:Also, I’m pretty lost on how they scale PTSD diagnoses... I hear everything from impulsive types and chronic cases to logorrhea, acute stuff, and random episodes. Plus, it feels like PTSD can slide into addiction way too easily:
A—alcoholism (just a fallout from the PTSD)
B—drug abuse (using substances to cope with PTSD)

-PERSONALITY DISORDERS—I'm not even sure if those stem from PTSD? Though, I guess a personality disorder can just be its own thing anyway.

If anyone actually knows what they're talking about, could you please break down the diagnosis for us? Like, give me the full rundown... and if possible, how much disability percentage each specific type usually gets. Thanks...

Those are two separate issues. It’s true that people dealing with mental health struggles are more likely to develop PTSD after a trauma. Maybe that was your original diagnosis?
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#17 ·
Lisa Kern38 says—look, I wasn't actually required to serve because I was medically exempt
due to some liver issues from mushroom poisoning back in the day... so I ended up studying veterinary medicine instead. But when the call came to defend the country, I stepped up just because it felt like the right thing to do. I know what you're thinking—"who forced you?" Honestly? It was my conscience. I couldn't just sit back in a comfy recliner, watching news reports of kids my age stuck in trenches while my country was under attack... so I volunteered. No regrets at all. I'd do it all over again if I had to...
Eric Rogers39 Eric Rogers39 Newcomer
1 message
joined Nov 2007
#18 ·
Donna Sullivan7;11025319 said:it honestly bugs the hell out of me when people who haven't actually witnessed

but frankly, your post is just plain idiotic. WHY?? Because people like you are indirectly pushing others toward suicide. I remember one of our own guys getting torn apart by those kinds of stories from F. R., and now he’s gone for good. Go find something productive to do with your life and leave the political correctness alone. If you have any sense left at all, you'll realize how much damage you're doing.
Henry Stewart2 Henry Stewart2 Member
15 messages
joined Jan 2010
#19 ·
I developed some mild PTSD after I stopped working as a security guard (I was only 19 at the time). I got "used" to all the nonsense, and then suddenly I had to be among civilians—people who just go to work in the morning or students whose biggest stress is passing an exam. I’ve worked all sorts of jobs because of that mild PTSD, so I can only imagine what the severe version is like.

It took me 7 or 8 years to deal with it. I guess I can tell you there isn't any other way besides just not caring about the past. You build a new persona that has nothing to do with what you went through; basically, don't let your service in the war define who you are. Anyone worth knowing will recognize what you did anyway.

It’s like a pretty woman who thinks looks are enough. They aren't; she has to be a good person too. It’s the same for you. It can't just be about the fact that you were in the war or that you have merits others don't; you also have to be a positive person. Then you'll see who actually has more influence: some carefree "optimist" who fought, or an optimist who actually served. 😉

And those people on TV that you think don't care? They do care, they've just moved on. Maybe you shouldn't say you fought for a country where everyone is a martyr and everyone is suffering, but for a happy country instead. If so, be a part of that. Everything else is just politics and money. It's no better for farmers or the homeless; injustice exists everywhere. This isn't an attack on veterans; it's just the reality of the situation in this country for anyone who can't fully take care of themselves.

Maybe try not to hang out exclusively with people from your own "class," wealth level, or background... they'll just drag you down. Try socializing with all kinds of people.

And for people like you veterans, it was the same during WWII; four times as many scumbags tried to get on the list for partisan military pensions. Besides, 30% of the government doesn't even recognize the fight for America, whereas at least everyone recognizes yours. So, you aren't in the worst possible situation.
Donna Sullivan7 Donna Sullivan7 Active MemberOP
112 messages
joined Aug 2007
#20 ·
Eric Rogers39;11363457 said:
Donna Sullivan7 said:It really bugs me when people who never even saw combat suddenly come crawling out of the woodwork claiming they have PTSD just to snag some benefits. Look, I get it—there are plenty of loopholes in the VA system, and that’s not my job to fix. But honestly, everyone knows where these types hang out... you see them everywhere except in their own neighborhoods. Why do you think that is? Probably because there's a tiny bit of discomfort there, and they want to avoid running into actual veterans... (and let's be real, those encounters can get pretty awkward). Also, massive shoutout to Operation Desert Storm, which was executed flawlessly; it lasted a week and somehow resulted in more PTSD cases than the entire Vietnam War combined. Isn't that just completely absurd?

-sorry, but seriously, how exactly am I indirectly driving anyone to suicide with a post? I was just trying to share my own struggles because I know I'm not the only one out there. A lot of people are bitter, and nothing ever gets better because I live in a neighborhood full of HRVI, so I see firsthand how much red tape there is... all that extra paperwork they use to slow things down, losing files, hiding stuff, you know how it is. And besides, why won't they just release that veteran registry publicly so everyone can see who's who? As for that "one of yours being bullied" thing—I'm not out here attacking anyone or lying about anything. And how many of my own people have we lost to suicide? Do you even know the actual numbers from the war era, or are you just acting like an expert...

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