My grandpa is starting to forget things

So, my grandpa's been losing his grip on reality for about four years now. It started out small, like forgetting a neighbor's name or whatever, but as he gets older, things are getting seriously bad. He’ll lose track of where he put stuff, or he’ll look right at a foot and have no clue what it's called. He’ll be watching TV and suddenly start rambling about how there isn't enough food on the table for everyone, even when there's plenty. Basically, the older he gets, the more everything just slips away. My dad refuses to take him to a doctor because he's convinced it's just genetic—says my great-grandmother went through the exact same thing and just faded away, so why bother? He thinks there's no cure anyway. What kind of disease is this actually, and is there any treatment out there that I can use as leverage to convince my dad to finally get him some medical help??

btw, what are the odds that I end up dealing with this same crap later in life?????😲 😬

Let me throw something else into the mix:

So I’ve been digging around online and now that I see the different types of dementia out there, it’s looking more and more like it could actually be Alzheimer's. It’s just weird though, because sometimes he’ll remember everyone's name perfectly fine, but then an hour later, he's talking about someone completely different... He's also having a hard time with his speech—getting lost mid-sentence, struggling to find the right word and all that junk. Basically, he's checking almost every box for Alzheimer's symptoms.

That strikes me as a textbook case of Alzheimer's, especially considering there's already a family history involved. He definitely needs to see a specialist... while there isn't a cure, a neurologist can provide practical management strategies, supplement options, and psychostimulant medications to help navigate the progression

How old is your grandfather, exactly? I feel like that’s a pretty crucial detail here. And since Sam Hall15 keeps insisting that he absolutely needs to see a doctor, you can't just leave him hanging like this, right?
Your great-grandmother lived in a completely different era. First, you need to convince your father that getting your grandfather to a doctor isn't optional...

My father-in-law has been struggling with memory loss ever since his stroke—he’s just constantly confused and uncoordinated lately.
And honestly, it feels like it's only getting worse as he gets older...
I know people say dementia is just a natural part of aging, but
Alzheimer's is a legitimate disease.
Definitely worth seeing a doctor to get an official diagnosis.

My grandma’s starting to slip a bit lately; she can't always find the right words... I think it's because she lives all by herself with nobody to talk to. Everything was fine back when my grandpa was still around. Even when I go over to visit, it doesn't seem to help much since she spends most of her day and night just alone.
That's why seniors need social interaction, especially if they're lonely. It's funny though, she can remember every single name of the people at the local Walgreens; she could talk about them for hours. 😬I love her to death, though.

My dad’s been seeing a few doctors already, but he wasn't really the one driving the conversation—he was mostly just poking around asking questions. They basically told him straight up that it’s that disease, there’s no cure for it, and we just need to make sure he doesn't wander off or get lost. They also mentioned he needs to stay active to keep his circulation going, thinking maybe better blood flow to the brain might help him function a little better. Now that we've dealt with all that...

WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THIS HAPPENS TO ME OR MY DAD???
ffs I'd honestly rather be dead than deal with this.

So, my grandpa is 80. Five years ago, he was totally fine, just his usual self... To make matters worse, for about the last six months, he’s been popping these circulation pills, but honestly, they don't seem to be doing squat...

My grandmother started showing similar signs—forgetting her keys inside the house, losing her focus during a game of dominoes, even struggling with her handwriting.

Sadly, it turned out at the end that she had brain tumors (only one of them was actually benign). We just didn't find out in time...

I would honestly suggest seeing a doctor first,
my grandfather went through very similar symptoms, and he was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
There isn't a cure in the sense that you can't stop or reverse the progression, but there are newer medications available that can help manage things and slow down the decline—sometimes even providing a brief period of improvement,
it’s best to start with a primary care physician to get some guidance and the necessary referrals. In my grandfather's case, his GP sent him to a neurologist for specialized testing, which included brain imaging like an EEG, I believe.
It’s also worth noting that once you have an official diagnosis, you may be eligible for certain in-home care services or assistance.
It really bothers me when people feel ashamed of these age-related conditions; after all, this is something that could happen to any of us.
And ignoring the problem won't make it go away.

Douglas Diaz3 said:So, my grandpa is 80. Five years ago, he was totally fine, just his usual self... To make matters worse, for about the last six months, he’s been popping these circulation pills, but honestly, they don't seem to be doing squat...

I’m no doctor, but I have a feeling Alzheimer's might be hitting earlier than people realize. Could this just be standard age-related dementia? My mother lived to be 89, and her MS started creeping up on her about ten or fifteen years before that—just a slow, steady decline—until suddenly, it hit a breaking point. In those last two or three years, she completely lost her grip on reality, eventually reaching the point where she was calling me "Mom."
Maybe someone with actual expertise—Sam Hall15, perhaps?—could give us a more technical breakdown of how this works. I’m trying to wrap my head around it myself, especially since dementia has been a recurring theme on my mother's side of the family; it showed up with both my aunt and my grandmother, so you have to wonder if there's a hereditary thread running through all of it.
When you guys are posting about grandmas and grandpas, why aren't you including their actual age? It matters more than you think. I’m a grandmother myself, but I fall right into that middle ground where Alzheimer's starts to creep in and the memory loss really begins to take hold.😢

It’s important to remember that dementia isn't just one thing; it's an umbrella term for several conditions, and Alzheimer's is actually just one specific type where similar processes occur in the brain. If I recall correctly, my grandfather’s medical reports even listed both
The progression can be incredibly unpredictable. It might move rapidly, shifting from simple forgetfulness to being bedridden within three years, or it could linger for a much longer period
Unfortunately, I've seen this play out firsthand with people close to me. I've watched two individuals struggle as the disease takes hold
My grandmother was 76 and my grandfather was 85

There are certain indications that it might be hereditary, though it only seems to increase the statistical likelihood by a relatively small margin

I also can't help but feel that Alzheimer's is being caught more frequently in younger patients. It seems like with the older generation, everyone just brushes the symptoms off as "normal aging" or forgetfulness, and nobody actually bothers to run the necessary tests to find out what's really going on.

That’s why I’d strongly encourage the OP to take their grandfather to a specialist for a proper evaluation.
It's worth it because there is Aricept 10 mg specifically for Alzheimer's that can provide some relief; it might at least improve his quality of life. In my own experience, it managed to turn the clock back just a little bit for my loved one.

Regarding my grandpa’s quality of life, he’s out in rural Montana living with my grandma. Honestly, she’s a total rockstar—sharper than everyone else in the family combined. She handles everything for him, from meals to all the daily chores, while he mostly just manages to get himself to the bathroom, sleep, or wander off to tinker with stuff here and there. Most of the time, he’s totally dialed in and knows exactly what’s going on, but then he hits these sudden gaps—just those five minutes where he completely loses his grip on reality and doesn't even know where he is. Sometimes he looks at the TV and thinks there are actual people standing in the room with him, instead of realizing it's just a screen. He gets it most of the time, though. Like, I called him yesterday, and when I said, "Hey, Grandpa Sam Hall15," he had no clue who I was talking about. I told him I’d call back in ten minutes. When I actually did, he was like, "Oh, hey Sam Hall15! How’s school? How’s Dad doing?"

But look, regarding getting him checked out, we really should take him in so I can finally breathe easy. I'm hoping it isn't Alzheimer, but maybe something like multiple sclerosis or some other form of dementia that isn't as heavily hereditary or as devastating...

Douglas Diaz3 said:Regarding my grandpa’s quality of life, he’s out in rural Montana living with my grandma. Honestly, she’s a total rockstar—sharper than everyone else in the family combined. She handles everything for him, from meals to all the daily chores, while he mostly just manages to get himself to the bathroom, sleep, or wander off to tinker with stuff here and there. Most of the time, he’s totally dialed in and knows exactly what’s going on, but then he hits these sudden gaps—just those five minutes where he completely loses his grip on reality and doesn't even know where he is. Sometimes he looks at the TV and thinks there are actual people standing in the room with him, instead of realizing it's just a screen. He gets it most of the time, though. Like, I called him yesterday, and when I said, "Hey, Grandpa Sam Hall15," he had no clue who I was talking about. I told him I’d call back in ten minutes. When I actually did, he was like, "Oh, hey Sam Hall15! How’s school? How’s Dad doing?"

But look, regarding getting him checked out, we really should take him in so I can finally breathe easy. I'm hoping it isn't Alzheimer, but maybe something like multiple sclerosis or some other form of dementia that isn't as heavily hereditary or as devastating...

As long as he retains enough independence to handle those trivial daily tasks, you have to consider it a win! 👍
Whether it’s senile dementia or Alzheimer, the end result tends to gravitate toward the same reality... It’s an inevitable part of the aging process; it’s something that eventually catches up to all of us, no matter what 😉
You just have to accept it as a facet of life. While you still can.

Douglas Diaz3 said:Regarding my grandpa’s quality of life, he’s out in rural Montana living with my grandma. Honestly, she’s a total rockstar—sharper than everyone else in the family combined. She handles everything for him, from meals to all the daily chores, while he mostly just manages to get himself to the bathroom, sleep, or wander off to tinker with stuff here and there. Most of the time, he’s totally dialed in and knows exactly what’s going on, but then he hits these sudden gaps—just those five minutes where he completely loses his grip on reality and doesn't even know where he is. Sometimes he looks at the TV and thinks there are actual people standing in the room with him, instead of realizing it's just a screen. He gets it most of the time, though. Like, I called him yesterday, and when I said, "Hey, Grandpa Sam Hall15," he had no clue who I was talking about. I told him I’d call back in ten minutes. When I actually did, he was like, "Oh, hey Sam Hall15! How’s school? How’s Dad doing?"

But look, regarding getting him checked out, we really should take him in so I can finally breathe easy. I'm hoping it isn't Alzheimer, but maybe something like multiple sclerosis or some other form of dementia that isn't as heavily hereditary or as devastating...

Look, medication can really help dial down those hallucinations. My grandfather used to hold full conversations with his wardrobe and couldn't remember my name, but things improved drastically once he started his prescription. Eventually, the disease takes its course regardless, but I still believe a doctor's visit could be very beneficial.

As for rapidranger79 looking after him, my situation was actually the reverse. First, my grandmother was the one who was ill, so my grandfather took care of her. But what happened next broke him, both physically and emotionally. Even though he was in peak physical shape and incredibly sharp at the start, the depression that set in after her passing really took its toll. I suspect that accelerated his own decline, even if he already had a predisposition for it. So, please, support rapidranger79 as much as you can. It isn't easy for her.

rapidranger79 provided some truly excellent advice, much respect 😁
While there isn't a massive difference in how Alzheimer's or vascular dementia presents during an active episode, the day-to-day reality differs. Dementia tends to be a constant presence throughout the day, whereas Alzheimer's often follows a biphasic pattern, with more lucid periods early on. Eventually, however, Alzheimer's progresses into severe stages where patients become bedridden and succumb to secondary infections. If we are talking about natural progression—like atherosclerosis affecting brain vessels—dementia can persist much longer, though medically speaking, that doesn't always fall under the strictest definition of dementia. In terms of diagnosis, senile dementia is a highly progressive condition, sometimes even more so than Alzheimer's.
When it comes to caregiving, everything eventually boils down to the same thing. Managing a patient isn't about their final diagnosis; it's about their current state and mental status at any given moment...
I strongly suggest consulting with physicians if a family member is facing any kind of cerebral degeneration. They might not be able to cure your grandparent, parent, or spouse, but they can certainly help slow the progression and, perhaps more importantly, guide you through navigating this new reality.
Additionally, I encourage everyone to focus on preventing variable causes of neurological and other disorders. This primarily means managing atherosclerosis by addressing its risk factors: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, uncontrolled diabetes, obesity, smoking, and excessive alcohol or drug use... 😁
That's plenty of advice from my end...

My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about ten years ago. She’s 68 now, and she has reached the stage where she is completely immobile and requires full-time care. In the beginning, our whole family was just lost; we didn't have much information, and back then, even the doctors didn't seem to have a clear grasp on how to handle Alzheimer's. Looking back, I honestly feel like families going through this could do much more for prevention by actually sharing real-world experiences with one another, rather than just relying on official medical guidelines. In the early stages, Aricept 10 mg can be helpful, though it is quite expensive. We actually have a few boxes left over from her treatment, so if anyone is struggling with the cost, please reach out—we'd be happy to pass them along at cost just so they don't go to waste. For my mother, however, she has progressed to a point where medication doesn't offer any benefit anymore. The fundamental issue with researching new drugs for patients in her condition is that you simply cannot get feedback from them. They lose the ability to speak, so if they are in pain or uncomfortable, you're left trying to read their grimaces to guess what's wrong. Because of that, most existing medications are really just designed to manage symptoms during that initial phase. I highly recommend getting a brain CT scan to see if there is any expansion of the cerebrospinal fluid. If there is, you should talk to a neurosurgeon about whether a surgical intervention, like installing a shunt, might alleviate some of the symptoms. We ended up passing on that option because our neurologist failed to mention it to us until the window of opportunity had already closed. In these final stages, the focus shifts entirely to managing muscle spasms caused by immobility, providing liquid nutrition, arranging in-home physical therapy, and offering constant, intensive care. If you are in a position to organize this kind of level of care at home, please do so. In a nursing home setting, the stay is often limited to maybe two or three years before complications like infections arise due to inconsistent diaper changes or pressure sores.

The biggest issue with elderly patients is how doctors just brush them off. My aunt is 83, dealing with dementia, but she’s also struggling with something everyone just dismisses.
Basically, she gets these intense waves—this terrifying sensation of heat flooding her chest, her head, and her eyes. When she asks her doctor about it, she just gets a casual "I don't know," followed by some comment to the family about how "the lady just can't accept getting older."
It honestly feels like doctors think seniors should just wait around to die. It's infuriating.

I honestly can't even wrap my head around this...
It’s been a while since I first posted here, and honestly, things haven't changed much with my grandpa—he's still in the same spot—but I just haven't been able to get the old man to actually see a doctor. I tried talking to my dad about how this kind of stuff could hit him or even me one day, and how we really need to know what we're dealing with instead of just guessing, but I've tried everything and it just doesn't work...
I feel like such a complete idiot just letting him go through this without doing anything more...