restlessangler
Member
12 messages
joined Jul 2009
I'm just going to copy one of my previous posts here, so I don't have to type everything out all over again...
So, basically, I’ve been dealing with pain in my lower abdomen, specifically on the right side, for 4 years now. And yes, you read that correctly—4 YEARS.
The pain flares up whenever I push myself physically.
To give you an idea of what I mean by "physical effort"...
I spent 8 years working in the service industry—heavy trays, constant movement, that kind of thing.
Honestly, I wasn't just crying; I was screaming from the pain while on shift. Thank God I had a decent boss who actually understood my suffering, so I could head home when I hit my limit, or if I didn't want to leave yet, at least duck into a storage room to curl up and cry in peace.
Maybe I'm being a bit mild with the description, but "screaming" is honestly the most polite way I can put it.
I can't run, I can't walk for long periods, I can't even do a big grocery run at a supermarket like Walmart, or roll, or just walk more than maybe 50 yards at a time without the pain hitting me immediately.
In my head, I know I *can* do those things, but I just know exactly what's coming next...
It's safe to say I've become severely limited in what I can do.
I usually drive to work, but my car broke down seven days ago, so I had to walk to my job for five days straight.
It might sound dramatic, but believe me, it feels like you're in a coma when you know the pain is coming while you're stuck at work and there's nothing you can do about it.
Kidneys, Pap smears, blood work, urine tests, gallbladder, liver, spleen, appendix, endoscopies, dynamic scintigraphy, ultrasounds...
And so many other tests, none of which ever managed to find anything.
Should I mention that I've tried taking seven different types of pills meant for spinal pain or kidney issues? I've lost count of how many standard painkillers I've gone through. The most ironic part is that nothing helps. NOTHING. When the pain starts, I can only retreat into my own little world and pray to God it stops soon (imagine how that feels while I'm working), and the pain never lasts "just" half an hour...
Every once in a while—but frequent enough—it starts while I'm sleeping. The pain wakes me up, and I'm just moaning in bed for hours, then I get up in the morning chronically sleep-deprived, still in pain, getting ready for work and praying it will let up.
Nobody knows what's wrong with me. I'm only 24, yet I feel like my life is slowly winding down because this has completely buried me, both mentally and physically.
I've lost hope—hope that I'll ever be okay again.
I would give anything just to be able to work, to be able to run, and to have the only pain I feel be muscle fiber soreness from a workout.
For someone who has always been an athlete, I shouldn't even be allowed to move anymore.
To me, that feels like pure murder.
If you really want to destroy a person, take away the thing they love most.
That's what happens to me almost every single day, and I'm starting to yearn for an end to it all.
The tests are expensive—every single one.
And I can't even pick up extra shifts to cover it (I have a decent salary, but it barely covers my basic living expenses, let alone medical bills and specialists).
I just wanted to say that you aren't alone in this.
I drifted a little off topic...