How do you deal with today's social climate?

Just to add:

I’ve had deep, lifelong friendships since childhood, though most fizzled out after high school when I moved to Germany. That said, I wouldn't say I have unrealistic expectations or demand too much. Actually, it's quite the opposite—I'm looking for the bare minimum. I clearly understand the difference between an acquaintance, a friend, and a close friend. Honestly, I struggle to even move past the acquaintance stage because people find it so hard to just grab a coffee, let alone commit to actual activities—even when they claim that's their hobby or something they want to try. And keeping those connections going? Man, that's a total lottery.

Did you even read my part about how people constantly cancel plans at the last minute and act totally unreliable? They claim they're "looking for friends," yet they can't even show up to a scheduled meetup or coordinate a simple 🤣🤣

I matched with a girl on Bumble who had similar interests and lived nearby. We messaged for a bit, and I suggested we meet up. She told me she didn't have any free time for the entire following week. I honestly don't get her logic. What is she doing all day, every single day?
- Working.
- Every day, at 4 PM?
- Nooo, I work at 3 PM every day. I don't have a day off.
🤣 🤣
So, explain this to me: if you truly have no time—which I highly doubt—why are you even on a dating app if your goal isn't to actually make time to meet people in person?

And it's almost always the same type of profile—unreliable people who move states as often as they change socks, have no family ties, are obsessed with their careers, or have absolutely no clue what they're doing with their lives and zero friends. Or they move in with a boyfriend who already has his own social circle, so to avoid being stuck at home, they go out once every three months with a group of girls just so they can post it on Instagram and feel better while their partner is out

or

they just went through a breakup and realized how messy things are being alone, so they're just looking for some quick distraction to entertain them until they find the next guy.

I think I opened a thread about this not too long ago.

Jamie Adams6 said:People always romanticize stuff they haven't actually lived through—like those legendary eighties or any other era from back in the day. It’s mostly because their only connection to it is some glorified highlight reel where everything looks perfect. Like, you know how older folks swear Lionel Messi isn't even in the same league as Maradona? Well, they maybe caught him playing three times total, whereas we get to see Messi every single weekend—including all his off days and slumps. Ironically, on YouTube compilations, Maradona never misses a shot, never loses his form, and never struggles. Not him, not Pele, not anyone from that "romanticized" past—that’s literally the whole point of those clips: show the greatness and hide the failures. And then people draw massive conclusions based on that—just like they judge the seventies or eighties based on their parents' lives, movies, or music—as if those eras weren't full of lonely, depressed, or struggling people who weren't just some perfect, inclusive utopia.

The thing is—to feel actual nostalgia, you need time to pass, which means you’ve aged in the process. It’s way more likely that someone is actually longing for their own youth or a second chance at things they missed, rather than the social vibes of a specific decade. Because when you grow old and realize you aren't where you planned to be, that same feeling follows you regardless of the era. In a moment of weakness, you start thinking life would've been better in a different time—one where the circumstances that held you back in the present didn't exist—so you just time-travel in your head to find comfort. Honestly, a lot of them are probably right—maybe things *would* have been easier in those "simpler" times—but it’s not productive, and those kinds of thoughts should stay strictly in the last ten minutes before you fall asleep.

Perfumes lasted longer, music was way more diverse, and soccer was definitely more exciting back then—I'll give you that—but it seems to me that people are basically jerks in every single era.

I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.

Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.

Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.

Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.

It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company.
If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.

And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.

Yeah, let’s be real—modern society basically makes zero effort to force us to actually connect or build any real social skills. It’s all just isolation by design. But on the flip side, plenty of people are waking up to this crap, and honestly, most people have the power to push back against it if they actually try (which some are definitely doing).
There are totally different ways to live out there. We're talking everything from classic intentional communities to just living a "normal" life where you actually bother being a good neighbor and building a sense of community... plus there are those local co-ops and groups where people actually step up to help each other out and share resources instead of hoarding everything...

I'd argue that feeling alienated is mostly a choice. Sure, maybe it's the easy way out—taking the path of least resistance, which is why it's so common—but still, the alternatives are right there. And people are out there actually living them.

@jadeowl2: Do you actually know much about these communes? Have you ever lived in one? I’ve come across stuff like that on Workaway—I even sent applications to a few places once—but honestly, there's always something that rubs me the wrong way. Usually, it's a total lack of any real private living space (if you can even call it that) followed by a hundred different arbitrary "rules." Anyway, if you happen to know of any communities similar to what you described, definitely let me know.

I want to touch upon the post from William Hill3; frankly, that hits on exactly what I’ve been wanting to write about... and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one thinking this way.

Why shouldn't we be able to maintain a sense of childlike wonder—even in our 30s, 40s, or beyond—while still handling our adult responsibilities? Society has forced these rigid standards on us; in our rush to keep up with the pace of modern life, we've lost our internal compass. I remember vividly a psychotherapist professor back in college who used to hammer home the idea that life is a game. So why are we being so incredibly rigid about it? Why don't we have the time for genuine social connections like we used to, or even just time for ourselves?

That’s why I occasionally get this urge to just disappear to some remote part of the country—somewhere I might experience something close to what we remember from the past, a place where technology hasn't completely corrupted people yet.

It feels particularly brutal for those of us who are single, because we face this constant, daily bombardment regarding marriage from everyone around us, whether they're close family or just acquaintances. Can you believe my own mother tells me that "you need to get married and it's a mortal sin if you don't"🤣—all while she herself is stuck in an unhappy marriage.

In my view, it’s not worth getting into a relationship or even making friends just for the sake of it. In a way, I "suffer" because I refuse to allow myself to hang out with incompatible people just to avoid being alone, or heaven forbid, with those massive energy vampires that seem to be everywhere these days.

And don't even get me started on social skills. I look at teenagers today and they can barely manage a basic greeting; it's not that I struggle with it, but there used to be a fundamental level of respect for elders. I talk about this with my brother all the time because it drives him crazy—he's a teacher, and his former students won't even acknowledge him when they pass him on the street. Personally, I'll say "Good morning" to anyone, friend or stranger, or even "Praise Jesus," simply because that's how I was raised, and I stand by that.

Bottom line—it actually seems better when we have zero options. It forces us to practice patience and just deal with flaky friends, partners, services, or apps. But once you've got plenty of choices? That mediocre stuff isn't your only option anymore. We get way more critical, and if things aren't hitting the mark, we just pivot elsewhere. Basically, instead of learning how to accept what doesn't fit, we just "detach" from it entirely.

Let's face it—the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side they never expected to be on. This whole crowd is just the opposite of those young people out there who pair up, keep long-term friendships, and actually live in the same community. Thinking everyone else is miserable and lonely just because they didn't adopt the "idealized" habits pushed here is honestly naive. A lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their character fits the modern era much better.

Btw, that whole idea of "respecting" elders or feeling obligated to talk to total strangers just because of their age? That's about as outdated as a Henry Ford. You don't owe anyone your time just because you happen to be walking down the same street.

It’s not just hard, it feels damn near impossible in today’s world to actually run into an angel. Why would someone sent by Death—someone totally results-driven, goal-oriented, and hungry—bother trying to find an angel a few times during their "great journey"? To seek out encounters based on Mary, out of Love. as some kind of life purpose? It’s like looking for comfort in eating Styrofoam—it might trick your brain into feeling okay for a second, but you're basically just training yourself to live on trash. There's no logic to it. I guess when you're desperate, you'll eat anything, even flies. They say... we're all just starving for angels, getting more desperate by the day. Maybe beggars don't get a choice. A few scraps of angelic crap (which aren't even angelic, they're just crap) might be enough to keep you going, and since "modesty is a virtue," surviving is the only thing that matters.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 said:Bottom line—it actually seems better when we have zero options. It forces us to practice patience and just deal with flaky friends, partners, services, or apps. But once you've got plenty of choices? That mediocre stuff isn't your only option anymore. We get way more critical, and if things aren't hitting the mark, we just pivot elsewhere. Basically, instead of learning how to accept what doesn't fit, we just "detach" from it entirely.

Let's face it—the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side they never expected to be on. This whole crowd is just the opposite of those young people out there who pair up, keep long-term friendships, and actually live in the same community. Thinking everyone else is miserable and lonely just because they didn't adopt the "idealized" habits pushed here is honestly naive. A lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their character fits the modern era much better.

Btw, that whole idea of "respecting" elders or feeling obligated to talk to total strangers just because of their age? That's about as outdated as a Henry Ford. You don't owe anyone your time just because you happen to be walking down the same street.

Look, it’s not like you were forced to put up with partners or friends who didn't fit your vibe back in the 70s, 80s, or 90s either. A truly mature, well-adjusted person wouldn't have settled for that kind of nonsense then, and they certainly wouldn't now. Not once.
We have more ways to kill time than ever before, but none of them come close to the actual joy of being around people. You just can't replicate the feeling of hanging out with friends by sitting on the couch watching Netflix; it’s not even a fair comparison. Back in the day, people actually spent time together, which meant they gave relationships a real chance to develop into something meaningful. Nowadays, those deep connections seem much harder to find. Maybe there would be more of them if we actually gave people a shot. I don't see it as "distancing ourselves from things that don't suit us." To me, it looks more like we're distancing ourselves before we even give a relationship a fighting chance. Our standards for what we'll tolerate have climbed to an impossible level—everyone is hunting for perfection in someone else without ever stopping to ask what they actually have to offer in return.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 As requested by ironrider11: Let’s be real here: the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side of the argument they never intended to visit. Take that group of people who actually managed to pair up and maintain long-term friendships while living in the same community—they are the perfect counterargument to everything being said here. It’s honestly naive to assume everyone else is miserable or lonely just because they didn't adopt the exact set of habits being idealized in this sub. In fact, a lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their personalities happen to align better with the current era than with whatever outdated standard is being pushed here.

I find myself in a position that’s the exact polar opposite of what the author described, yet I can say with total certainty that I get where they're coming from.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 said:Bottom line—it actually seems better when we have zero options. It forces us to practice patience and just deal with flaky friends, partners, services, or apps. But once you've got plenty of choices? That mediocre stuff isn't your only option anymore. We get way more critical, and if things aren't hitting the mark, we just pivot elsewhere. Basically, instead of learning how to accept what doesn't fit, we just "detach" from it entirely.

Let's face it—the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side they never expected to be on. This whole crowd is just the opposite of those young people out there who pair up, keep long-term friendships, and actually live in the same community. Thinking everyone else is miserable and lonely just because they didn't adopt the "idealized" habits pushed here is honestly naive. A lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their character fits the modern era much better.

Btw, that whole idea of "respecting" elders or feeling obligated to talk to total strangers just because of their age? That's about as outdated as a Henry Ford. You don't owe anyone your time just because you happen to be walking down the same street.

We can’t exactly frame disrespect as "progress," no matter how much people try to spin it that way. It’s especially problematic when you see this blatant disregard for newcomers being thrown in the faces of those who have actually put in the years and earned their stripes. Just because a tradition or a method feels outdated doesn't mean it lacks value or should be tossed out. Take something as simple as manners, for instance. Acknowledging someone you know—especially an elder—isn't just some old-fashioned formality; it's a fundamental sign of basic decency. Failing to do so isn't "disruptive" or "modern"; it's just plain rude. At the end of the day, culture is about choosing behaviors that build respect, while a lack of it is just a downward slide into bad manners.

If you take a look at the general vibe of people lately, the clinical picture is pretty bleak. There’s just less joy, less genuine enthusiasm, and far fewer smiles—you see it every single day just walking down the street in any major US city. Everyone seems to be getting increasingly sour and irritable. To me, that alone is enough evidence to suggest that we are clearly doing something wrong.

William Hill3 said:Quote : dark side

Look, it’s not like you were forced to put up with partners or friends who didn't fit your vibe back in the 70s, 80s, or 90s either. A truly mature, well-adjusted person wouldn't have settled for that kind of nonsense then, and they certainly wouldn't now. Not once.
We have more ways to kill time than ever before, but none of them come close to the actual joy of being around people. You just can't replicate the feeling of hanging out with friends by sitting on the couch watching Netflix; it’s not even a fair comparison. Back in the day, people actually spent time together, which meant they gave relationships a real chance to develop into something meaningful. Nowadays, those deep connections seem much harder to find. Maybe there would be more of them if we actually gave people a shot. I don't see it as "distancing ourselves from things that don't suit us." To me, it looks more like we're distancing ourselves before we even give a relationship a fighting chance. Our standards for what we'll tolerate have climbed to an impossible level—everyone is hunting for perfection in someone else without ever stopping to ask what they actually have to offer in return.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 As requested by ironrider11: Let’s be real here: the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side of the argument they never intended to visit. Take that group of people who actually managed to pair up and maintain long-term friendships while living in the same community—they are the perfect counterargument to everything being said here. It’s honestly naive to assume everyone else is miserable or lonely just because they didn't adopt the exact set of habits being idealized in this sub. In fact, a lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their personalities happen to align better with the current era than with whatever outdated standard is being pushed here.

I find myself in a position that’s the exact polar opposite of what the author described, yet I can say with total certainty that I get where they're coming from.

Quote : dark side

We can’t exactly frame disrespect as "progress," no matter how much people try to spin it that way. It’s especially problematic when you see this blatant disregard for newcomers being thrown in the faces of those who have actually put in the years and earned their stripes. Just because a tradition or a method feels outdated doesn't mean it lacks value or should be tossed out. Take something as simple as manners, for instance. Acknowledging someone you know—especially an elder—isn't just some old-fashioned formality; it's a fundamental sign of basic decency. Failing to do so isn't "disruptive" or "modern"; it's just plain rude. At the end of the day, culture is about choosing behaviors that build respect, while a lack of it is just a downward slide into bad manners.

If you take a look at the general vibe of people lately, the clinical picture is pretty bleak. There’s just less joy, less genuine enthusiasm, and far fewer smiles—you see it every single day just walking down the street in any major US city. Everyone seems to be getting increasingly sour and irritable. To me, that alone is enough evidence to suggest that we are clearly doing something wrong.

Is this actual firsthand experience from knowing the 70s, or just "they say" nonsense?

William Hill3 said:Quote : dark side

Look, it’s not like you were forced to put up with partners or friends who didn't fit your vibe back in the 70s, 80s, or 90s either. A truly mature, well-adjusted person wouldn't have settled for that kind of nonsense then, and they certainly wouldn't now. Not once.
We have more ways to kill time than ever before, but none of them come close to the actual joy of being around people. You just can't replicate the feeling of hanging out with friends by sitting on the couch watching Netflix; it’s not even a fair comparison. Back in the day, people actually spent time together, which meant they gave relationships a real chance to develop into something meaningful. Nowadays, those deep connections seem much harder to find. Maybe there would be more of them if we actually gave people a shot. I don't see it as "distancing ourselves from things that don't suit us." To me, it looks more like we're distancing ourselves before we even give a relationship a fighting chance. Our standards for what we'll tolerate have climbed to an impossible level—everyone is hunting for perfection in someone else without ever stopping to ask what they actually have to offer in return.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 As requested by ironrider11: Let’s be real here: the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side of the argument they never intended to visit. Take that group of people who actually managed to pair up and maintain long-term friendships while living in the same community—they are the perfect counterargument to everything being said here. It’s honestly naive to assume everyone else is miserable or lonely just because they didn't adopt the exact set of habits being idealized in this sub. In fact, a lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their personalities happen to align better with the current era than with whatever outdated standard is being pushed here.

I find myself in a position that’s the exact polar opposite of what the author described, yet I can say with total certainty that I get where they're coming from.

Quote : dark side

We can’t exactly frame disrespect as "progress," no matter how much people try to spin it that way. It’s especially problematic when you see this blatant disregard for newcomers being thrown in the faces of those who have actually put in the years and earned their stripes. Just because a tradition or a method feels outdated doesn't mean it lacks value or should be tossed out. Take something as simple as manners, for instance. Acknowledging someone you know—especially an elder—isn't just some old-fashioned formality; it's a fundamental sign of basic decency. Failing to do so isn't "disruptive" or "modern"; it's just plain rude. At the end of the day, culture is about choosing behaviors that build respect, while a lack of it is just a downward slide into bad manners.

If you take a look at the general vibe of people lately, the clinical picture is pretty bleak. There’s just less joy, less genuine enthusiasm, and far fewer smiles—you see it every single day just walking down the street in any major US city. Everyone seems to be getting increasingly sour and irritable. To me, that alone is enough evidence to suggest that we are clearly doing something wrong.

"Clinical picture"? LOL. Maybe it's just time to sour? This planet (a glowing ball with a scarred crust inhabited by tiny parasites) is natural, and it exists through various cycles over looooong periods of time. Parasites—which are just part of its skin during brief eras of growth or slow decay—could easily be dependent on those changes. Maybe it's just time for them to turn sour, doing whatever they have to do to adapt to the conditions forced upon them?

Jamie Adams6 said:Bottom line—it actually seems better when we have zero options. It forces us to practice patience and just deal with flaky friends, partners, services, or apps. But once you've got plenty of choices? That mediocre stuff isn't your only option anymore. We get way more critical, and if things aren't hitting the mark, we just pivot elsewhere. Basically, instead of learning how to accept what doesn't fit, we just "detach" from it entirely.

Let's face it—the only reason this thread even exists is because the OP ended up on a side they never expected to be on. This whole crowd is just the opposite of those young people out there who pair up, keep long-term friendships, and actually live in the same community. Thinking everyone else is miserable and lonely just because they didn't adopt the "idealized" habits pushed here is honestly naive. A lot of people are actually thriving right now simply because their character fits the modern era much better.

Btw, that whole idea of "respecting" elders or feeling obligated to talk to total strangers just because of their age? That's about as outdated as a Henry Ford. You don't owe anyone your time just because you happen to be walking down the same street.

If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

Yeah, but if you ask me... not much to say... Honestly... how long has it been since we all lost our grip? Back when I actually had some solid convictions rooted in those "good old days"—you know, back when life actually felt like it had some spark left in it. Now that the fire’s gone out, everything just feels like a massive step backward. Everything looks cheap, broken, or just plain wrong... Every single generation ends up chewing on the exact same complaints, just dressing them up in new, modern ways. It’s kind of expected, really. Just part of the cycle. That whole process of mourning the loss of that old energy, of chasing that lost spark... it's just how it goes... low-key... Trying to figure out if you actually lived a meaningful life—or even if that "meaning" was just something you spent years overthinking into existence—usually goes down in stages...

Grief isn't some checklist you complete... it's more like six messy stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and finally, finding meaning. Don't get it twisted though—these aren't tasks you need to "finish" to feel better. They’re just frameworks to help make sense of the chaos. Nobody hits them in a perfect line, and honestly, some people skip half of them entirely. It's all pretty individual... everyone deals with it differently. Denial is usually where it starts. It’s basically survival mode. Everything feels meaningless and life just stops making sense. You're stuck in this numb, shocked state, wondering how you're even supposed to keep going or why you should bother. You're just trying to scrape through one day at a time. In a weird way, that denial and shock actually protect you... it's like your brain only lets you feel what you can actually handle without breaking. But once that reality finally sinks in and the questions start hitting, the healing process kicks in, whether you want it to or not. You start getting stronger, the denial fades, and all those suppressed feelings start bubbling up to the surface...

Anger is a necessary part of the healing process. You’ve gotta be ready to actually feel it, even when it feels like it'll never end... The more you truly lean into it, the more it fades, and the more you actually start to mend. There's a whole mess of other feelings buried under that anger, and eventually, you'll get to them too. Most of us are just used to suppressing anger rather than actually feeling it. But the truth is, there's no limit to it. It can expand. Underneath all that rage is pain—our own deep-seated pain. It's totally natural to feel abandoned or left behind, especially since we live in a society that's terrified of anyone being angry. But honestly? Anger is strength. It can act like an anchor, giving some kind of temporary structure to the absolute nothingness of loss. At first, that massive grief makes you feel like you're just lost at sea, but then the anger kicks in and suddenly you have some kind of footing. It becomes a bridge over the abyss. In the end, anger is just another sign of how much we loved...

When you're stuck in the bargaining phase, you just get lost in this endless loop of "if only..." or "what if..." We're all just desperate to turn back the clock, fix the mistakes, or stop some tragedy from happening in the first place. Guilt usually hitches a ride right along with it. All those "if I had just done this" thoughts make us spiral, constantly obsessing over how we could've changed things. Sometimes, we even try to bargain with the pain itself... doing anything just to avoid feeling the sting of loss. We stay trapped in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of being hurt using logic that doesn't even make sense anymore. Once the bargaining ends, you hit reality hard. The emptiness kicks in, and grief settles into your life much deeper than you ever imagined. It feels like this phase is going to last forever... It's important to realize that this depression isn't necessarily a sign of mental illness. It’s a totally normal response to a massive loss. You withdraw from everything, lost in this heavy fog of sadness, wondering if there's even any point in moving forward. Why bother? People often treat post-loss depression like it's something unnatural—like a glitch that needs to be fixed or something you need to snap out of immediately. But the first thing you gotta ask yourself is whether your situation actually warrants feeling depressed. Honestly, it would be weird *not* to feel depressed given what happened. Just like grieving is part of healing, depression is just one of the necessary steps on that path...

People always mistake acceptance for being "okay" with what happened. Most folks never actually feel good or "fine" about losing someone they love. This stage isn't about liking the situation; it's just accepting the reality that our loved one is gone and this new, harsh reality is permanent. We’re never gonna like it, and it’s never gonna feel okay, but eventually, we accept it. Maybe. It’s just the new normal we have to deal with. At first, people fight it because they want things to stay exactly how they were before the loss. But as you move through acceptance, you realize you can't freeze time. Everything is changed and we have to adapt. We have to shuffle roles around, pass them to others, or step up ourselves. You can't replace what's lost, but you can build new, meaningful connections. Instead of burying how we feel, we need to listen to what we need—move, change, grow, evolve. If we don't give ourselves space to grieve, we'll never truly feel alive again...

Loss just happens. Meaning is something we have to build for ourselves. Meaning comes from finding a way to hold onto the love for someone who isn't here anymore while we keep moving toward Death, toward where they went... into the scrapheap of forgotten history. Finding some kind of purpose doesn't erase the sadness or the numbness, but it definitely takes the edge off the suffering of living in a world that feels like it doesn't belong to us anymore. Because it doesn't. It never did. Seems to me like we live in an American society that just wants you to move on like nothing even happened. That just shows how alienated people have become from their own feelings, treating them like they're some useless byproduct. Like an evolutionary glitch. Our hearts know how to mourn; it's the brain that works against us. Sigh... wouldn't it be nice if we actually showed ourselves more love and compassion during all this...

Hey everyone, maybe you’ve already beaten this to death, but we’re living in this era of instant gratification where everything comes with an instant fix, and honestly, people have become just as instant too.

Take it from this perspective: say you and I are dating and we hit a rough patch. Why on earth would we actually sit down and fight through the mess when we could just hop on Tinder or Bumble and find someone else who’s purely looking for a quick thrill?
Look, I don't agree with that way of living, but most people are just laser-focused on their own immediate pleasure. You guys are totally off if you think this is some modern phenomenon; it’s been this way for three thousand years, you just take it more personally because you probably haven't studied how much of a mess things were in previous eras.

Then there's the total lack of emotional intelligence out there. People worship their own egos; heaven forbid they change a single thing about themselves or admit they were wrong—to them, that’s basically the end of the world. But actual relationships require work and sacrifice. It’s happened to me plenty of times where I’m the one to initiate something, you know, being the first to show interest, and then certain people can't even bother to send a simple text saying, "Hey, I can't make it today." Instead, they just ghost you like it's nothing. In the short term, the move is to just cut everyone off, focus entirely on yourself, and do the work. Long term? You just have to hope your effort gets noticed eventually and that you stumble upon someone who isn't playing those petty little manipulative games.

I won't lie to you either: roughly a third of marriages fall apart, and if I had to guess, I’d say at least 95% of them happen because people are terrified of being alone. I mean, how do you explain why people stay in marriages where they don't lift a single finger to help? It’s because they’re looking for a mirror image of themselves just to soothe their fear of solitude. Modern relationships are barely keeping their heads above water; they're functioning right on the edge of collapsing. On one hand, you’re unfulfilled, and on the other, you're scared of being solo... it’s a massive, absolute disaster. If you realize you can't communicate decently with someone, just run for the hills regardless of anything; they're ticking time bombs. Most people haven't cheated on you simply because they never got the chance—if they had, you’d have been the first one on their hit list.

William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.

Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.

Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.

Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.

It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company.
If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.

And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.

... which is actually a good thing, right? Because when you mentioned how being "forced" makes it easier to accept people—their flaws and all that baggage they refuse to work on—while society packages it up as "diversity," it briefly sounded like you were suggesting having fewer options is actually the way to go.

William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.

Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.

Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.

Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.

It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company.
If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.

And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.

It's hard for me to say exactly how one thing is being prioritized over good company without a specific example. Netflix keeps coming up, but I'd be shocked if that’s really the only reason Mary isn't grabbing coffee with the neighbor. Maybe she's just tired of hearing the same old complaints over and over, so Netflix is just a nice way to kill the boredom. No one skips a stimulating hangout or a date just because of some show—at the end of the day, nobody thinks *they* are a boring or exhausting person to talk to, so it's much easier to just blame Netflix.

William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.

Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.

Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.

Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.

It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company.
If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.

And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.

Someone I know? Yeah, sure. You greet acquaintances—that's why they're called acquaintances! You don't just bow down to someone simply because they're over 50 and call it "respect."

William Hill3 said:I have to disagree with you there. I’ve spent a lot of time turning the question from this thread over in my head, wondering if I’ve just become one of those cynical 30-somethings who constantly moans about "the good old days." But that isn't it for me. My life is actually great right now—honestly, I couldn't ask for more. However, there was a specific level of pure, unadulterated joy I could tap into back then that I just haven't been able to replicate. It wasn't about being a kid; it was about the environment. Back then, I could be out on the street with twenty kids kicking a soccer ball around, wearing a shirt covered in melted ice cream and clutching a PB&J sandwich, and feel completely invincible. Or later, singing and dancing the night away with a rowdy crowd at a local dive bar. I felt that rush then, and I don't feel it now, even though my life was objectively harder back then. You might argue it’s just because I was younger, but I don't buy that. The truth is, you don't see that many kids playing outside in the neighborhood anymore, and you certainly don't find those groups of people out at the pub, losing themselves in the moment. Everyone is glued to Netflix or scrolling through a group chat. And let me tell you, no cinematic masterpiece on Netflix or endless scrolling on a chat app is ever going to trigger the same serotonin spike as being surrounded by positive people in a room full of life.

Modern life gives you this incredible opportunity to basically never leave your apartment and interact with almost nobody. It used to be that social contact was practically mandatory. You’d find yourself stuck in a boring afternoon where you were forced to head out and actually mingle with people. That’s when the real stuff happened—those random experiences, the ridiculous jokes, the unplanned parties that end up becoming lifelong memories. Back then, we used those 35mm film canisters to capture the moments we never wanted to forget. Nowadays, we just use our phones to show off how good our bodies look and compete over who can rack up more likes. Honestly, that says everything you need to know about where we're at. In a room full of twenty people, you actually had to make an impression. You had to crack a joke, tell a story, or just be interesting... and everyone else had to step up too. Today? It’s enough to just retreat to a corner and grab your phone.

Back when people actually had to interact face-to-face, social skills and emotional intelligence weren't just buzzwords—they were survival tools. You developed them naturally. Now? It’s like we’ve collectively regressed. Take one woman on this forum, for instance; she’s currently stuck explaining that it is, in fact, abnormal for someone to ghost you and then pop up two hours later claiming they "forgot" about your plans without even a basic apology. In the past, nobody would have even questioned that kind of behavior. It wasn't an option. There used to be guys who might flirt or compliment you, sure, but they understood the unspoken rule: you show a baseline level of respect or demonstrate some actual interest before jumping into anything. There was a process. A standard. Nowadays, you just get someone sliding into your DMs with a random photo of a kite, acting like they've done something. And what exactly is the end goal there? Honestly, if you want to talk about emotional intelligence and social graces, we're looking at a total deficit.

Once you’re actually forced to step out and engage with people, you start accepting them for who they are. You begin to tolerate their quirks and embrace their differences. It’s like, "Ann only checks about 70% of my boxes, but she’s fine, so we hang out because nobody is perfect." Nowadays, everyone seems to have an exhaustive A-to-Z checklist of exactly how their ideal friend should look and act. It’s just a shame that nobody applies that same scrutiny to themselves—no one stops to ask what kind of friend *they* actually bring to the table. In the end, people just wind up hanging out with their dogs, because at least you can patronize a pet and train them to behave exactly how you want.

It seems to me that people have never been more isolated, which inevitably drags down the quality of family dynamics too. There was a time when you actually had genuine friends and a social circle to lean on; you weren't just drifting through life alone. Nowadays, most people have nobody, so they end up latching onto the very first person who crosses their path. They rush into marriages and then act genuinely surprised when the relationship loses its spark almost immediately. An absurd number of people are just pairing up because they’re terrified of being alone, mostly because so few people actually possess the capacity to be comfortable in their own company.
If you ask me, I genuinely miss how things used to be—that different kind of rhythm. Life felt more positive back then, more fun, and people actually knew how to socialize. They practiced those social skills every single day, learning how to set boundaries and respect where others stood. It seems like we developed a much sharper sense of empathy than what’s prevalent today. I lived through enough of that era to remember how the older generation would just hang out on their porches during the summer, laughing together, and how the days would just fly by when I was out with my friends, just constant laughter and nonsense. And it wasn't just me; it was everyone. So, yeah. I remember.

And to finally address the question—how am I adjusting? Honestly, I’ve managed it by building my own little bubble. I fill my time with things I actually enjoy, focusing on my family, my husband whom I love, my kid, and my hobbies. I make sure my day is packed with things that bring me joy. I have a small circle of dear friends I grab a drink with occasionally; these connections are relatively new, so they’ll either grow into something lasting or they won't. Personally, I don't have the time, the energy, or the desire for "instant" relationships. Nowadays, everything is designed for immediate gratification—from food and communication to the very fabric of society. Of course, there are pros and cons to all this convenience, but for me, the era I grew up in had better music, better movies, better parties, and deeper connections. It was a time when people actually expressed their emotions by speaking or writing about how they felt, rather than just sending some animated GIF of a cartoon dog with a heart coming out of its butt.

Honestly, that bitterness is exactly what separates kids from adults—it's those little tensions you carry because of responsibilities, money stress, health issues, and all that other stuff that leaves scars on your soul over the years. And let's face it, you're mostly hanging out with adults anyway, so that's all you really notice. I used to see the opposite mostly in American movies or Fanta commercials. Come to think of it, if I were living in a country like America and seeing mostly smiling, optimistic people, that would actually be a sign that they started going overboard with certain substances.

fadedrider17, look, I’ve spent some time hanging out at squats and drifting through various alternative communities, but mostly just as a visitor. Most of those communes have this whole "philosophy" and way of making decisions that’s just... way too much work for me. Too many meetings, too much involvement. Not my vibe.
So instead, I try to build connections in more traditional settings—like, you know, normal neighborhoods. I actually really loved the roommate dynamic and being tight with my neighbors at my last place.

Honestly, you can just start your own little thing in your own neighborhood where people actually help each other out and hang out. You don't need a manifesto for that.

As for growing up... I mean, sure, you can act like a kid sometimes, why not? But I don't even bother hanging out with people who aren't on my wavelength (probably because they don't have the time 😬). Giving up on being myself was never an option for me. I don't know how other people deal with it, but I just don't have much in common with them.

Jamie Adams6, everyone knows that having too many choices often brings more misery than happiness. I grew up in a tiny town, and later lived in some really small rural areas, and I always felt great there... maybe specifically because you're forced to accept the people around you.

I remember reading some study once about how students at smaller universities and in smaller towns tend to be happier. Even though—or maybe because of—they don't have as many options when it comes to social circles or activities and stuff. Their friendships were deeper, and they seemed more satisfied with life. It totally lines up with what I've experienced.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

Look, being outdated doesn't mean you're wrong, it just means things are maybe a little extra. If you do it, cool. If you don't, also cool. Personally, it would feel super awkward to go up to old people on the street just because they're old. Like, my own grandpa wouldn't even get why some stranger is greeting him, let alone think it's this big "respectful" gesture from someone he's never met—wtf.

I was raised the same way too, but we aren't sheep meant to follow stuff blindly—just like you don't go to church just because your parents did. You keep some traditions and ditch others.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

Well, if they were handing out grades like candy, maybe those students were mature enough to realize that the teacher was actually degrading their profession and losing all respect in the process.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

They’d be zombies even if everyone acted exactly the way you wanted them to—except then they'd just be zombies that fit your preferences. Diversity is what makes life interesting.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

I don't know, I'm well past thirty, so I don't consider myself arrogant just because I don't strike up a conversation with some random elderly person on the sidewalk. Arrogance isn't what you think it is—it's not about refusing to act exactly how you want others to behave. If anything, arrogance is exactly what you're doing right now: expecting everyone else to conform to your specific vision of how society should look.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

well, who exactly is shoving it in your face? damn, they're old. and if they're in a bad marriage, with who? some other old guy? both probably grew up when things were actually normal and cultured, right? meanwhile, those obnoxious teenagers haven't asked you anything like that once—am I right? damn them for being so polite and holding back those tacky questions.

fadedrider17 said:If everything I've written means I'm "outdated," then fine—I'll take the label. I'm not here to play games; I wouldn't have started this discussion if I were. I was simply raised under different circumstances where, as another user pointed out, there was a certain etiquette—older people would greet younger ones, especially if, say, you had a teacher who gave you a better grade than you earned. As a reward, you wouldn't just ignore them when you pass them on the sidewalk.

We can certainly go that route—everyone stays in their own little bubble, nobody bothers anyone else, and we just keep "progressing" into total isolation...

"Many are thriving"—that’s an interesting thesis. Personally, my observations suggest the opposite: people have become almost zombie-like in their behavior and ideals. It’s reached a point where even when they think they're having the time of their lives, they're really just mimicking someone else's blueprint.

No one is "obligated" to do anything, not even to say hello on the street, but in my humble opinion, the day is just a little brighter because of such a simple gesture. It costs nothing, and it won't cost anyone their dignity—especially not some teenagers—but let them keep "breathing" in this modern age... and risk becoming arrogant far too early.

I only mentioned my "single status" in passing, specifically regarding how society pushes that label onto us, but the reality is I would never be with someone who doesn't suit my taste—and the same goes for my friends. My view is that while a person can be self-sufficient, that isn't entirely consistent with human nature. That is why I opened this thread.

It isn't just about the music; I actually buy cars from the 80s and 90s, too. I recently picked up a car with a cassette player. I genuinely enjoy those older gadgets—they serve as a reminder that life doesn't always have to be instant and effortless. Besides, it's not a baseless claim that those decades were the absolute peak of creative culture.

Respect. Just keep in mind that those 80s kids are currently claiming the 70s crowd was even better. And let's be real, a huge chunk of the 80s was just basic, catchy one-hit wonders—so maybe it's finally time to dive into some prog rock bands with 36-minute songs that even the band members can't stand.

jadeowl2 said:fadedrider17, look, I’ve spent some time hanging out at squats and drifting through various alternative communities, but mostly just as a visitor. Most of those communes have this whole "philosophy" and way of making decisions that’s just... way too much work for me. Too many meetings, too much involvement. Not my vibe.
So instead, I try to build connections in more traditional settings—like, you know, normal neighborhoods. I actually really loved the roommate dynamic and being tight with my neighbors at my last place.

Honestly, you can just start your own little thing in your own neighborhood where people actually help each other out and hang out. You don't need a manifesto for that.

As for growing up... I mean, sure, you can act like a kid sometimes, why not? But I don't even bother hanging out with people who aren't on my wavelength (probably because they don't have the time 😬). Giving up on being myself was never an option for me. I don't know how other people deal with it, but I just don't have much in common with them.

Jamie Adams6, everyone knows that having too many choices often brings more misery than happiness. I grew up in a tiny town, and later lived in some really small rural areas, and I always felt great there... maybe specifically because you're forced to accept the people around you.

I remember reading some study once about how students at smaller universities and in smaller towns tend to be happier. Even though—or maybe because of—they don't have as many options when it comes to social circles or activities and stuff. Their friendships were deeper, and they seemed more satisfied with life. It totally lines up with what I've experienced.

If you can't make a choice, sure. But honestly? This feels like that argument about how arranged marriages are actually more stable and better than modern ones—which, let's be real, just fall apart left and right.

If that's how it went for you, well, whatever. For me, having options definitely hasn't caused any misery—nor is that some universal truth.

Quote : dark side

Jamie Adams6 said:If you can't make a choice, sure. But honestly? This feels like that argument about how arranged marriages are actually more stable and better than modern ones—which, let's be real, just fall apart left and right.

If that's how it went for you, well, whatever. For me, having options definitely hasn't caused any misery—nor is that some universal truth.

I think we totally misread each other...

It’s not even just about my own experience—though, honestly, I choose that kind of vibe because it actually makes me happy, so that's my reality... but it’s what the actual studies show too. It's that whole "paradox of choice" thing...

Honestly, I’d take having actual choices any day of the week... I have zero desire to go back to how things used to be. You know exactly what I mean—it's thanks to having options that I can actually shape my life to fit how I want to live... 😉.

@Jamie Adams6

I honestly can't shake the feeling that your posts are constantly trying to pick a fight with me—mostly because you take my casual observations, which I use primarily for comparison, and strip them entirely out of context. This right here is exactly why the discussion regarding 🙂 is getting so heated; I am absolutely certain that if we were actually sitting down talking face-to-face, we wouldn't be having these kinds of arguments.

When I brought up the whole teacher-versus-student dynamic, I was referring to all types of students—the troublemakers and the overachievers alike—because I've seen plenty of those scenarios play out. Almost everyone in my family works as educators in the school system, so I suppose I’m the "black sheep" when it comes to my career path... and we end up discussing this constantly whenever we're driving around. Even the straight-A students won't acknowledge their teachers when passing them on the street; the only thing the high achievers have in common with the kids who barely scraped by is that they belong to the same graduating class. My conclusion is that this lack of social etiquette persists to this day, likely due to how people are raised.

Regarding your correction: I was talking about public figures and the etiquette of greeting people you know, not total strangers—though, for what it's worth, I hear strangers shouting "Hello" all the time out in the streets of Ireland and everywhere else.

Personally, I value those small gestures—the nods, the greetings, and things of that nature.

As for music, I have a wide range of interests, but progressive rock and metal are among my absolute favorites—which is exactly what you're suggesting I listen to. For instance, Dream Theater is my favorite band; you might have heard them, but they specialize in multi-act conceptual songs and entire concept albums. I think your parallel there was a bit of a stretch.

It is entirely your prerogative to think I'm arrogant if you find it "abnormal" that I believe you should acknowledge a former teacher on the street. To me, it suggests something is fundamentally broken in our society or that social standards are slipping—and judging by some of the opinions posted here on this thread, I am certainly not the only one who feels that way.

Jamie Adams6 said:... which is actually a good thing, right? Because when you mentioned how being "forced" makes it easier to accept people—their flaws and all that baggage they refuse to work on—while society packages it up as "diversity," it briefly sounded like you were suggesting having fewer options is actually the way to go.

It's hard for me to say exactly how one thing is being prioritized over good company without a specific example. Netflix keeps coming up, but I'd be shocked if that’s really the only reason Mary isn't grabbing coffee with the neighbor. Maybe she's just tired of hearing the same old complaints over and over, so Netflix is just a nice way to kill the boredom. No one skips a stimulating hangout or a date just because of some show—at the end of the day, nobody thinks *they* are a boring or exhausting person to talk to, so it's much easier to just blame Netflix.

Someone I know? Yeah, sure. You greet acquaintances—that's why they're called acquaintances! You don't just bow down to someone simply because they're over 50 and call it "respect."

Honestly, that bitterness is exactly what separates kids from adults—it's those little tensions you carry because of responsibilities, money stress, health issues, and all that other stuff that leaves scars on your soul over the years. And let's face it, you're mostly hanging out with adults anyway, so that's all you really notice. I used to see the opposite mostly in American movies or Fanta commercials. Come to think of it, if I were living in a country like America and seeing mostly smiling, optimistic people, that would actually be a sign that they started going overboard with certain substances.

I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Jamie Adams6 said:... which is actually a good thing, right? Because when you mentioned how being "forced" makes it easier to accept people—their flaws and all that baggage they refuse to work on—while society packages it up as "diversity," it briefly sounded like you were suggesting having fewer options is actually the way to go.

It's hard for me to say exactly how one thing is being prioritized over good company without a specific example. Netflix keeps coming up, but I'd be shocked if that’s really the only reason Mary isn't grabbing coffee with the neighbor. Maybe she's just tired of hearing the same old complaints over and over, so Netflix is just a nice way to kill the boredom. No one skips a stimulating hangout or a date just because of some show—at the end of the day, nobody thinks *they* are a boring or exhausting person to talk to, so it's much easier to just blame Netflix.

Someone I know? Yeah, sure. You greet acquaintances—that's why they're called acquaintances! You don't just bow down to someone simply because they're over 50 and call it "respect."

Honestly, that bitterness is exactly what separates kids from adults—it's those little tensions you carry because of responsibilities, money stress, health issues, and all that other stuff that leaves scars on your soul over the years. And let's face it, you're mostly hanging out with adults anyway, so that's all you really notice. I used to see the opposite mostly in American movies or Fanta commercials. Come to think of it, if I were living in a country like America and seeing mostly smiling, optimistic people, that would actually be a sign that they started going overboard with certain substances.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

Jamie Adams6 said:... which is actually a good thing, right? Because when you mentioned how being "forced" makes it easier to accept people—their flaws and all that baggage they refuse to work on—while society packages it up as "diversity," it briefly sounded like you were suggesting having fewer options is actually the way to go.

It's hard for me to say exactly how one thing is being prioritized over good company without a specific example. Netflix keeps coming up, but I'd be shocked if that’s really the only reason Mary isn't grabbing coffee with the neighbor. Maybe she's just tired of hearing the same old complaints over and over, so Netflix is just a nice way to kill the boredom. No one skips a stimulating hangout or a date just because of some show—at the end of the day, nobody thinks *they* are a boring or exhausting person to talk to, so it's much easier to just blame Netflix.

Someone I know? Yeah, sure. You greet acquaintances—that's why they're called acquaintances! You don't just bow down to someone simply because they're over 50 and call it "respect."

Honestly, that bitterness is exactly what separates kids from adults—it's those little tensions you carry because of responsibilities, money stress, health issues, and all that other stuff that leaves scars on your soul over the years. And let's face it, you're mostly hanging out with adults anyway, so that's all you really notice. I used to see the opposite mostly in American movies or Fanta commercials. Come to think of it, if I were living in a country like America and seeing mostly smiling, optimistic people, that would actually be a sign that they started going overboard with certain substances.

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

fadedrider17 said:@Jamie Adams6

I honestly can't shake the feeling that your posts are constantly trying to pick a fight with me—mostly because you take my casual observations, which I use primarily for comparison, and strip them entirely out of context. This right here is exactly why the discussion regarding 🙂 is getting so heated; I am absolutely certain that if we were actually sitting down talking face-to-face, we wouldn't be having these kinds of arguments.

When I brought up the whole teacher-versus-student dynamic, I was referring to all types of students—the troublemakers and the overachievers alike—because I've seen plenty of those scenarios play out. Almost everyone in my family works as educators in the school system, so I suppose I’m the "black sheep" when it comes to my career path... and we end up discussing this constantly whenever we're driving around. Even the straight-A students won't acknowledge their teachers when passing them on the street; the only thing the high achievers have in common with the kids who barely scraped by is that they belong to the same graduating class. My conclusion is that this lack of social etiquette persists to this day, likely due to how people are raised.

Regarding your correction: I was talking about public figures and the etiquette of greeting people you know, not total strangers—though, for what it's worth, I hear strangers shouting "Hello" all the time out in the streets of Ireland and everywhere else.

Personally, I value those small gestures—the nods, the greetings, and things of that nature.

As for music, I have a wide range of interests, but progressive rock and metal are among my absolute favorites—which is exactly what you're suggesting I listen to. For instance, Dream Theater is my favorite band; you might have heard them, but they specialize in multi-act conceptual songs and entire concept albums. I think your parallel there was a bit of a stretch.

It is entirely your prerogative to think I'm arrogant if you find it "abnormal" that I believe you should acknowledge a former teacher on the street. To me, it suggests something is fundamentally broken in our society or that social standards are slipping—and judging by some of the opinions posted here on this thread, I am certainly not the only one who feels that way.

Look, everyone loves those kinds of things, but I see them as a nice bonus—whereas for you, they seem like something people just owe you, and it clearly bugs you when they don't happen. That’s the nuance right there. It’s like opening a door for a lady; you’ll do it here and there, but you can't expect to do it for every single person or assume everyone is entitled to it. Even back in the day, women used to give up their seats for soldiers on the bus, but nowadays? You'd think that was a joke.

Just say hey to whoever says hey to you—there's always a reason behind it. If you're cool with someone, they aren't gonna ignore you. But if someone you know actually goes out of their way to avoid saying hello? There's probably a good reason for that.

William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

The connections you're talking about obviously aren't deep enough if Netflix is winning that battle... I can't imagine that happening with real family ties or lifelong best friends. Maybe that's just how your circle is, but I don't see that at all in my life. Totally baffling.

Look, I hit up bars, house parties, and weekend BBQs enough that I’ve actually started lying and making up excuses just to dodge them. I have to pace myself because sometimes everything and everyone is just... too much. Honestly, there’s nothing worse than having a day ruined by things you didn't plan for—like when someone dumps a toddler on you to babysit and suddenly you're stuck. I can handle two or three of those days, but after that, I'm "busy."

I don't know what your social battery looks like, but if you feel like your extended family or friends are stealing two days a week from you, that's plenty.

William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

Well, some people just aren't stimulating, which makes hanging out a drag. You can't blame modern times for that, and it's not a reflection of someone's worth. Some people are just like that—not everyone is going to click. You've filtered people out before, right? You've made your own selections. It is what it is.

The people who "don't fit" anyone's vibe are probably just folks dealing with mental health issues or diagnoses, and honestly, they're a negligible factor in this debate since there aren't that many of them.

William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

I'm positive you aren't the only one feeling this way—but I bet you're making the same mistake everyone else does. It's that constant chase for a specific feeling from back when everything felt ten times more intense... especially if it was your first time experiencing something. Like playing in the snow, jumping into puddles in a field, swimming in a lake, that first kiss, etc.

William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

Exactly—because I grew up in a post-war era without much choice. My buddy from Tampa was used to having every metal classic right there in the local record shop. Same age, same people, but he was spoiled by how easy everything was to find, while I lived for the thrill of the hunt. Swap our locations and I’d be just as spoiled. It's all about circumstances, not those "grateful" types people talk about nowadays.

When you have everything handed to you, nothing excites you like someone who grew up with nothing and has to find joy in the little things. That's just reality—it's not some new thing. Those gaps have always existed. Me and some kid halfway across the world definitely don't look at a candy bar the same way. Someone living a block from the beach isn't going to view the ocean the same way someone from a tiny, isolated town in rural Kansas does, seeing it maybe once a year. And a guy who's been around the block definitely doesn't see women the same way a high schooler trying to figure out how to talk to girls does. It's an old story, a thousand years old.

Circumstances dictate everything in life. Some people sleep better now than I did during my "carefree" childhood, and some people have better relationships than folks from those supposedly "better" eras. There are no rules here.

William Hill3 said:I didn't actually say that; you just simplified and interpreted it that way.

Most people around me don't really socialize—they spend far more time watching Netflix than they do hanging out. It means most people are choosing other things over social interaction. Essentially, there are plenty of distractions people prefer over a nice get-together.

Or maybe socializing just isn't "pleasant" anymore? If so, I wonder how we got here—how we became so hyper-critical of others while being totally uncritical of ourselves. That’s the crux of it. Nobody fits my criteria, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I can't stand anybody (except my dog). This implies one of two things: either a) we are overly judgmental toward others (because it's impossible that absolutely no one is worth knowing), or b) we aren't critical enough of ourselves (since it's impossible that we're the only ones who are worthwhile).

I honestly believe people used to be much more cheerful and positive. That’s just my take, and it's not just me who feels that way. Let's face it—people are literally writing books and scientific papers about this now; it's a genuine sociological question: why is the modern human so unhappy?
And everyone seems to reach the same conclusion, which aligns with my view—the zeitgeist is such that everyone is convinced they are uniquely special, misunderstood, and different from the crowd. When you have millions upon millions of people thinking exactly like that, you end up with a massive pile of grumpy individuals who overestimate themselves, underestimate everyone else, and think they're unique when, in reality, they're all identical. That's why people don't socialize as much. Everyone thinks they're better than everyone else.

People used to take photos of gatherings because they wanted a memory. Nowadays, people take photos just to rack up likes to validate their self-worth, to look good, and to create an illusion of perfection through filters. This creates the impression that everyone is loaded and living an incredible life, that everyone is attractive, and everyone is brilliant (thanks to Google searches)... Then someone who actually believes this looks at their neighbor's photos and wonders why they don't have that much money or why they don't have that great body (in 99% of cases, neither the neighbor nor the person has the money or the body). Furthermore, everything has become "instant." Everything is available at the touch of a button, which is great, but it strips away the charm. You might have once looked forward to a new album or a cassette tape. To a kid today, that means nothing; they stream a song a million times and get bored of it in three days. We've shifted toward quantity over quality in almost everything—from art and journalism to the clothes and shoes we wear. It's mostly just more shit.

Look, I’m 35 years old. I’m not some bitter, jaded person, nor do I hang out with people who act like that. I have a massive pile of responsibilities and an actual life to lead.

Isn't it a bit "hyper-critical" of you to call them lame? I mean, when did that even happen?