Early-onset substance abuse: Alcohol and weed addiction in teens

Hey everyone. I’m laying this all out because I really need some actual advice. Honestly, I feel like nobody in my life actually gets what's going on with me. I'll try to keep the details brief. I'm 23. This whole thing started when I was about 16. Started smoking weed, a few drinks here and there... I fell in with the wrong crowd early on and, well, I liked it. Since I hung out with those people, you can probably guess I wasn't exactly easy to deal with. But here’s the thing—I scraped my way through school and just barely finished my degree. It gets worse. For years, I lived under this delusion that "it's fine, I'm smart, I'll figure it out once I graduate, this is just a phase." Turns out, the phase never ended. Right now, I’m sitting alone in my room, joint in hand, after about ten beers. I'm pretty wasted. Tomorrow I have to get up at 5 AM for some mediocre job that has nothing to do with my degree. I've tried to quit everything so many times. I've gone to meetings, taken those pathetic pills that leave you feeling like your brain is fried, only to end up right back where I started. At one point, I thought I had it under control, then everything just collapsed again. Half my old crew is either already in prison or halfway there, just like me. My parents don't get it—even though we're cool and talk about everything, including this, they still don't get it. My girlfriend doesn't get it either; she’s got her own stuff going on, so I can't even bring myself to lean on her too hard. I'm just stuck in this loop and I can't find the exit. There's more to it, and I could go on forever, but hopefully this is enough for some decent advice. 🙂

You’ll definitely find some useful advice over in the Alcoholism - General Discussion thread.
If you want, I can merge your topic into the existing one, unless you specifically feel the need to focus this discussion on broader societal issues, various types of addiction, and things of that nature.

Marijuana is destructive when it turns into a lifestyle, though it doesn't create a physical dependency in the same way other substances do. It dulls your edge, and if you're already dealing with mental health struggles, it’s a terrible idea because it usually just deepens the hole you're digging. Ultimately, though, it comes down to a personal choice—whether you light up or stay sober.
Alcohol is an entirely different beast—much more dangerous and significantly harder to deal with. Take a look through the thread I linked above; there are plenty of people there who have already opened up about their own struggles, and you might find that someone else's perspective provides the clarity you need.

Andrew Doyle said:You’ll definitely find some useful advice over in the Alcoholism - General Discussion thread.
If you want, I can merge your topic into the existing one, unless you specifically feel the need to focus this discussion on broader societal issues, various types of addiction, and things of that nature.

Marijuana is destructive when it turns into a lifestyle, though it doesn't create a physical dependency in the same way other substances do. It dulls your edge, and if you're already dealing with mental health struggles, it’s a terrible idea because it usually just deepens the hole you're digging. Ultimately, though, it comes down to a personal choice—whether you light up or stay sober.
Alcohol is an entirely different beast—much more dangerous and significantly harder to deal with. Take a look through the thread I linked above; there are plenty of people there who have already opened up about their own struggles, and you might find that someone else's perspective provides the clarity you need.

It creates a psychological one. It’s not even that the substance "makes" it happen—the mental dependency just builds itself. And obviously, as a psychoactive drug, it shifts how you think, act, and perceive everything... You start with a morning ritual, then one at ten, another at noon, another at two... and if you're doing those little self-induced therapy sessions every two hours whenever you can get away with it, day after day, week after week, year after year... that constant abuse of the green stuff leads to a total breakdown of relationships or marriages. You end up with a completely different person on the other side. Just like any intense, volatile relationship. It eats away at so much—not just years, but the actual presence of the person who’s checked out from their own life...

Look, ironrider11, this is a matter of principle. I realize I might sound like I’m lecturing someone on how to resist a candy bar, but fundamentally, there isn't some arbitrary number of years where your greenery habit suddenly hits a "red alert" zone. I won't even get into the alcohol debate, but we're talking about a lifestyle here. It's that ingrained ritual—lighting up your first one with your morning coffee, having a session when a buddy drops by in the afternoon, or winding down while you're watching something on Netflix at night. Sure, if you're heavy on the weed for the long haul, you might end up with some mental fog or memory gaps, but honestly, that's all fixable. That's why, to the author, there's always hope—Nancy, that lovely lady who's always the last one standing. You wouldn't believe it, but people eventually just get bored of it. They reach a point where they realize "it just isn't what it used to be," and they simply say no the first time, the second time, the third...

Andrew Doyle said:Look, ironrider11, this is a matter of principle. I realize I might sound like I’m lecturing someone on how to resist a candy bar, but fundamentally, there isn't some arbitrary number of years where your greenery habit suddenly hits a "red alert" zone. I won't even get into the alcohol debate, but we're talking about a lifestyle here. It's that ingrained ritual—lighting up your first one with your morning coffee, having a session when a buddy drops by in the afternoon, or winding down while you're watching something on Netflix at night. Sure, if you're heavy on the weed for the long haul, you might end up with some mental fog or memory gaps, but honestly, that's all fixable. That's why, to the author, there's always hope—Nancy, that lovely lady who's always the last one standing. You wouldn't believe it, but people eventually just get bored of it. They reach a point where they realize "it just isn't what it used to be," and they simply say no the first time, the second time, the third...

Obviously, weed isn't heroin, so it's not like it's physically impossible to break free from its possessive little embrace. It's a choice. In the same category as alcohol, IMO. The "what happens to my sober self, who views the world totally differently—maybe even pretty depressingly—during the day or night" kind of addiction is probably the real issue. I've smoked tons of weed, downed gallons of booze, inhaled countless powders, and honestly, I wouldn't recommend any of those high-and-low roller coaster combos to anyone... I can't even remember the last time I lit up, had a beer, or inhaled anything unless it was nasal spray. It's not even about being worried about health; it's exactly what you said—it's about saturation. Any pattern of behavior, if you abuse it, eventually gets old and boring. Well, not for everyone, apparently...

Some people drink themselves into an early grave (seeing spots, liver cirrhosis...), some people blow their whole lives away gambling and still try to commit suicide using a loan shark's tools, and some guys who've trashed half the planet and plan to trash the rest are still riding with South Line... For some, "self-destruction" is the only thing that feels real. Everything else, the "normal" stuff, has no flavor, no color, no soul... It's hard to quit the only reality you actually feel.

Let's ask the OP what his life is actually made of. Why choose to retreat into "bad company," and why choose to stay stuck in that "vicious cycle"? If this is an experiment in quitting, and he's not just quitting the booze and weed, but the entire version of himself that relies on them, what's left? Is there anything left? If not, then the prognosis for "fixing him" (apathy, anhedonia...) looks pretty grim. He might spend his whole life just drifting, looking for a spark. Maybe it's just a phase. We all went through that post-adolescent stage around age 23, or that "addicted to booze and weed in our youth" thing...

Tyler Anderson40 said:Hey everyone. I’m laying this all out because I really need some actual advice. Honestly, I feel like nobody in my life actually gets what's going on with me. I'll try to keep the details brief. I'm 23. This whole thing started when I was about 16. Started smoking weed, a few drinks here and there... I fell in with the wrong crowd early on and, well, I liked it. Since I hung out with those people, you can probably guess I wasn't exactly easy to deal with. But here’s the thing—I scraped my way through school and just barely finished my degree. It gets worse. For years, I lived under this delusion that "it's fine, I'm smart, I'll figure it out once I graduate, this is just a phase." Turns out, the phase never ended. Right now, I’m sitting alone in my room, joint in hand, after about ten beers. I'm pretty wasted. Tomorrow I have to get up at 5 AM for some mediocre job that has nothing to do with my degree. I've tried to quit everything so many times. I've gone to meetings, taken those pathetic pills that leave you feeling like your brain is fried, only to end up right back where I started. At one point, I thought I had it under control, then everything just collapsed again. Half my old crew is either already in prison or halfway there, just like me. My parents don't get it—even though we're cool and talk about everything, including this, they still don't get it. My girlfriend doesn't get it either; she’s got her own stuff going on, so I can't even bring myself to lean on her too hard. I'm just stuck in this loop and I can't find the exit. There's more to it, and I could go on forever, but hopefully this is enough for some decent advice. 🙂

You need to pick a direction for your life immediately. If you can't find that path on your own, please seek out professional help. That's basically the universal rule for any life crisis, including your addiction. Just because you finished college doesn't mean you've solved anything; it certainly isn't a guarantee that you won't completely crash and burn one day if you keep going down this road. Hang in there, and good luck. 🙂

Harold Anderson3 said:You need to pick a direction for your life immediately. If you can't find that path on your own, please seek out professional help. That's basically the universal rule for any life crisis, including your addiction. Just because you finished college doesn't mean you've solved anything; it certainly isn't a guarantee that you won't completely crash and burn one day if you keep going down this road. Hang in there, and good luck. 🙂

Whatever. Nothing he says—not even this whole "change your life's direction right now" thing—guarantees that you won't completely crash and burn tomorrow, or in fifteen minutes, or five minutes from now, if you just keep going regardless of how you do it. There's a difference between the idea of being "constructive"—steering your life on a planned path toward death—and the actual reality of how hard it is to actually achieve or maintain that kind of success while you're trying...

Hey man

You aren't alone. I've been battling alcohol and everything else for over 20 years now...

I know exactly what you're going through, but honestly? You need to get into a facility as soon as possible.

Personally, I've been through just about every rehab center in the US, and I can't recommend any of them specifically. They all have solid plans—some are more relaxed, some are more intense. But truthfully, no one has managed to pull me out of addiction hell yet. Not because they couldn't, but because I didn't want to be saved. Every time I get hospitalized, I'm back to my old habits within two or three months of coming home.

I’m actually heading into a recovery community next week, and if you want, I can help you out.
Shoot me a DM.

By the way, looking at things objectively, your situation is much easier to fix than mine.

If you want some advice, just hit me up via private message.

How exactly should those people—your parents and your girlfriend—act to make you feel satisfied?
Look, I can't just stop drowning myself in booze, weed, or whatever else is lying around, nor can I sit here and design a roadmap for you to find some sense of fulfillment.

If you’re stuck in this loop and don't see a way out, at least try feeding your brain something new. Start by signing up for a random class—yoga, painting, anything—just to see if it shifts the needle even a little bit....

Sometimes, those slow, incremental transitions and gradual shifts just don't lead anywhere.
Occasionally, the only real solution is to simply ban everything—to cut ties completely and walk away. It’s going to be brutal, I suppose, but maybe that's more straightforward than trying to manage with "just half a joint and one beer a day."
You’re going to struggle regardless, so you might as well make a clean break and just get rid of the whole mess once and for all.

You can handle this; just keep in mind that every single day will eventually feel a little easier. 👍