Roommate issues

All in all, we both managed to catch up on some sleep after work, which gave us enough energy to stay up talking half the night. I actually managed to dodge all those weirdos today. She handed their stuff back and made it crystal clear she wants nothing to do with them. I learned quite a bit about her through our chat; honestly, she’s a good kid, just way too naive for her own good. There is this one guy, also 18, who is just genuinely sweet—super quiet, really easygoing. She’s going to keep hanging out with him, and I told her I’m actually relieved about that. When she’s out with him, I can actually breathe easy, unlike when she's around those older creeps. You never know what kind of trouble they might try to stir up...
Anyway, the girl went through something heavy—she was assaulted by some guy and dealt with a lot of abuse from her father. She mentioned she has a real fear of men now and said it’s going to take years and years to recover. Right now, she just wants to focus entirely on her career, which I think is a really healthy move on her part...
I haven't come out to her yet, but since there are plenty of LGBTQ+ people living in my neighborhood here in the States, she'll eventually pick up on it. Since she grew up in a more conservative area, she doesn't fully grasp the nuances, though it doesn't seem to bother her much. For now, I just tell her I'm straight. When we talk about dating or grab coffee and I bring up my exes, I just refer to them as "guys" rather than girls, and that does the trick.

I just don't feel like opening up to her like that right now. I told her to go ahead and live her life at 18 and not to hold herself back. I reminded her that not every man is a predator—like that sweet 18-year-old boy she's seeing, he's a total gentleman... so, yeah. It’ll all work out. I hope!

Going back to what I said before, isn't it basically just breeding a fear of men? You know, the guys who are actually total softies once you get to know them... It’ll all be fine. Then maybe things will get a little shaky, then they'll settle down, then they won't, then they will... It's all part of the cycle. Everything's gonna turn out okay in the end.

ironrider11 said:Going back to what I said before, isn't it basically just breeding a fear of men? You know, the guys who are actually total softies once you get to know them... It’ll all be fine. Then maybe things will get a little shaky, then they'll settle down, then they won't, then they will... It's all part of the cycle. Everything's gonna turn out okay in the end.

According to her story, nothing actually happened between them, but they were trying to use gifts to change her mind, which honestly makes zero sense to me. She mentioned she can't bring herself to be physically intimate with a man after everything she's been through, and she just wants some peace and quiet without anyone bothering her. Out of all the guys who were crowding her, there was only one around her age, and he’s the one I called a "softie." He’s actually a really good guy—caring, sweet, and pretty sharp for his age... he isn't pushing her at all, and I actually respect that about him.

The whole argument is hollow, no matter how you slice it, and honestly, it’s about time we just lock this thread down. I really think the OP should take a step back, get their head straight, and maybe start a new thread focused on themselves—you know, actually figuring out how to pull yourself together and find some real help.

quietangler47 said:According to her story, nothing actually happened between them, but they were trying to use gifts to change her mind, which honestly makes zero sense to me. She mentioned she can't bring herself to be physically intimate with a man after everything she's been through, and she just wants some peace and quiet without anyone bothering her. Out of all the guys who were crowding her, there was only one around her age, and he’s the one I called a "softie." He’s actually a really good guy—caring, sweet, and pretty sharp for his age... he isn't pushing her at all, and I actually respect that about him.

"Sharp," you say. 🤣

quietangler47 said:According to her story, nothing actually happened between them, but they were trying to use gifts to change her mind, which honestly makes zero sense to me. She mentioned she can't bring herself to be physically intimate with a man after everything she's been through, and she just wants some peace and quiet without anyone bothering her. Out of all the guys who were crowding her, there was only one around her age, and he’s the one I called a "softie." He’s actually a really good guy—caring, sweet, and pretty sharp for his age... he isn't pushing her at all, and I actually respect that about him.

You still haven't told me if the kid is sexy or not. 🕺

Charles Wood73 said:You still haven't told me if the kid is sexy or not. 🕺

I mean, are you guys actually seeing this? One minute she’s all provocative, and then—poof—overnight, she’s suddenly this timid wallflower who’s terrified of men. 😁🤣🤣 We had that whole debate about lying on the forums once, and honestly, I think this is one of the more idiotic and painfully obvious examples of it...

Charles Wood73 said:You still haven't told me if the kid is sexy or not. 🕺

Nooo, it’s not even like that... it's like a woman was just assigned to me one afternoon. They basically handed her a key, told her she lives here now, and called it a day. Apparently, I was just supposed to expect a roommate whenever the housing office felt like it.

And for the record, I’m definitely not some creep—I don't deal with kids. She is quite literally just a child; she even sleeps with a stuffed animal, lol. She’s all innocence and naive, even though she tries so hard to act like she's grown up.
....

Regarding this whole situation, she respects my boundaries now—she doesn't bring her crowd around anymore, and I don't really deal with her people, which was something I had to fight for. But honestly, she still cycles through these guys like they're on a conveyor belt. Don't get me wrong, nothing physical is happening, but every single day it's some new guy she's raving about, treating them all like these "best buddies" she just needs to give a little hug to here and there.

Word on the street is that at work, she basically ignores women entirely and only vibes with the guys. She barely communicates with the female staff, which naturally leads to plenty of office gossip. She actually told me straight up that she just can't function around women, and that somehow I'm the exception to the rule. Why is that? It’s genuinely bugging me. This is the second person I've met who claims they just can't deal with women.

Is it because women can't give her that much attention since we're technically competition, or what? That would actually make sense; subconsciously, she probably senses I'm not a threat, so she enjoys my company more. Is that even a thing? A colleague of hers told me this—we work for the same corporation, just in different departments and roles, so I really don't know what's going on... but apparently, she just won't communicate with the ladies...

Good grief.

Also, is she just a massive attention seeker? I've already tried explaining to her that you don't just hug your friends and let them hover right in your personal space like that.

Just last week, that guy I warned her about a long time ago tried to make a move on her. She came running to me all worked up, blocked him on every single social media platform, returned his stuff, and called it a day.

I mean, what even is that... she claims she wants nothing to do with these guys, yet she loves being in their circle, playing games, and getting all touchy-feely. I'm completely lost, but I'm keeping my mouth shut. Maybe it's just how people born after 2000 are; it feels like that's becoming the norm lately.

Look, we aren't going to sit here and try to play doctor with your roommate's situation.