How much regret is too much?

Greetings.

I'll keep this brief and skip the fluff. I’m posting this in Psychology since that seems most relevant.

It’s been over six years, and I still haven't moved on from my ex. I’ve reached a point where I'm somewhat content with my own life, but there's this persistent void where our relationship used to be. Six years later, and I still can't seem to fill it. Finding out he got married after we split was the final blow. It felt like any chance we had was gone forever.

I tried settling down myself, but I just couldn't find any real happiness.
I regret the breakup deeply. I honestly thought we were living some kind of American dream—that we’d be together forever. Reality had other plans.
The regret is constant. I cycle through anger, bitterness, and pure disappointment because he walked away and never once looked back. He made it clear I wasn't his choice anymore. For a long time, I felt played and pathetic, yet the grieving process just won't end.

As the title asks: how much regret is too much?

Alex Collins3 said:Greetings.

I'll keep this brief and skip the fluff. I’m posting this in Psychology since that seems most relevant.

It’s been over six years, and I still haven't moved on from my ex. I’ve reached a point where I'm somewhat content with my own life, but there's this persistent void where our relationship used to be. Six years later, and I still can't seem to fill it. Finding out he got married after we split was the final blow. It felt like any chance we had was gone forever.

I tried settling down myself, but I just couldn't find any real happiness.
I regret the breakup deeply. I honestly thought we were living some kind of American dream—that we’d be together forever. Reality had other plans.
The regret is constant. I cycle through anger, bitterness, and pure disappointment because he walked away and never once looked back. He made it clear I wasn't his choice anymore. For a long time, I felt played and pathetic, yet the grieving process just won't end.

As the title asks: how much regret is too much?

Grief doesn't have a timer, but in your case, no matter how you look at it, it’s been going on far too long.

In my experience, the sadness and disappointment following a breakup—even when I was the one who ended things because they weren't working—usually lasted two, maybe three months tops.

It’s hard to give a definitive answer without knowing more, but it might be that you’re struggling with your own self-confidence to move forward alone. You might be lacking the hope or optimism needed to believe you'll find what you're looking for. Essentially, something is missing that's preventing you from actually living life to the fullest.

Six years is far too long. In my experience, the heartache only fades once you meet someone else who captivates you even more than your ex did.

Are you actively dating?

I know someone who—ten years later, married with kids and everything—is still actively pining over her ex.
Not sure how to put it...

Alex Collins3 said:Greetings.

I'll keep this brief and skip the fluff. I’m posting this in Psychology since that seems most relevant.

It’s been over six years, and I still haven't moved on from my ex. I’ve reached a point where I'm somewhat content with my own life, but there's this persistent void where our relationship used to be. Six years later, and I still can't seem to fill it. Finding out he got married after we split was the final blow. It felt like any chance we had was gone forever.

I tried settling down myself, but I just couldn't find any real happiness.
I regret the breakup deeply. I honestly thought we were living some kind of American dream—that we’d be together forever. Reality had other plans.
The regret is constant. I cycle through anger, bitterness, and pure disappointment because he walked away and never once looked back. He made it clear I wasn't his choice anymore. For a long time, I felt played and pathetic, yet the grieving process just won't end.

As the title asks: how much regret is too much?

From what I can gather, you aren't actually pining for him; it's your ego that's hurting because it can't stomach the idea that someone else was chosen over you...

It’s like people say, everyone handles things differently, but six years is just way too damn long. Life is passing you by...

How often are you actually thinking about him? Honestly, judging by how much you bring up Nicholas Bailey3, it’s probably become part of your personality at this point. You really need to just face the facts, move on from obsessing over him, and start filling your life with actual stuff... There's a lot of work to do there. Maybe a session with a therapist wouldn't hurt?

Eric Gray2: And darksurfer4 has a point. I feel like it’s pretty much always been that way.

That is simply far too much...
And this, quite frankly, is excessive.🤔

How old are you, if I may ask?
Are you currently active on any dating apps?
In what ways was your previous partner truly unique?

No one is inherently indebted to anyone else.
Relationships require a continuous investment and a shared commitment toward moving forward together.

As has already been established, the core issue seems to be an ego that viewed the relationship merely as a tool for self-validation.☕

Alex Collins3 said:Greetings.

I'll keep this brief and skip the fluff. I’m posting this in Psychology since that seems most relevant.

It’s been over six years, and I still haven't moved on from my ex. I’ve reached a point where I'm somewhat content with my own life, but there's this persistent void where our relationship used to be. Six years later, and I still can't seem to fill it. Finding out he got married after we split was the final blow. It felt like any chance we had was gone forever.

I tried settling down myself, but I just couldn't find any real happiness.
I regret the breakup deeply. I honestly thought we were living some kind of American dream—that we’d be together forever. Reality had other plans.
The regret is constant. I cycle through anger, bitterness, and pure disappointment because he walked away and never once looked back. He made it clear I wasn't his choice anymore. For a long time, I felt played and pathetic, yet the grieving process just won't end.

As the title asks: how much regret is too much?

It’s easy to lose touch with reality sometimes, though I don't think that's what you're doing since you seem fully aware of how much time has actually passed.
Look, you just need to stop clinging to these illusions that you already know deep down can't come true anymore. Once you start focusing on your own integrity and making your own sense of accomplishment a priority instead of chasing a thousand different utopian fantasies, you might finally see the bigger picture and learn how to just let things flow, accepting that everything is just part of a passing life cycle.

Alex Collins3 said:Greetings.

I'll keep this brief and skip the fluff. I’m posting this in Psychology since that seems most relevant.

It’s been over six years, and I still haven't moved on from my ex. I’ve reached a point where I'm somewhat content with my own life, but there's this persistent void where our relationship used to be. Six years later, and I still can't seem to fill it. Finding out he got married after we split was the final blow. It felt like any chance we had was gone forever.

I tried settling down myself, but I just couldn't find any real happiness.
I regret the breakup deeply. I honestly thought we were living some kind of American dream—that we’d be together forever. Reality had other plans.
The regret is constant. I cycle through anger, bitterness, and pure disappointment because he walked away and never once looked back. He made it clear I wasn't his choice anymore. For a long time, I felt played and pathetic, yet the grieving process just won't end.

As the title asks: how much regret is too much?

You aren't actually missing your ex, are you?

Everyone heals at their own pace after a breakup—or in your case, walking away—but six years is an eternity. You’re stuck in a loop, living in the past, and honestly, that’s a massive red flag for depression. It's time to seek some professional help. Snap out of it, make a move, and start moving forward. Eventually, that ex will just become a ghost, like they never even existed in the first place.

Does it even matter? Honestly, if I just told you to stop complaining, you’d probably spend all night whining that I’m being insensitive—wish it were that easy. Just to put things in perspective, look at those pet threads where people go absolutely ballistic over a dead cat or a goldfish and nobody thinks they're weird for it. Come to think of it, you'd probably rather deal with a literal death because grieving would be way more straightforward. Here, he's gone too, and you're mourning, but you're also feeling "betrayed"—you know, the whole mess where he ghosted you for someone else without even leaving you a settlement or an apartment to live in, but that’s a whole other conversation. That hurts, sure, but your ego is taking a hit here too, and honestly? I highly doubt you actually miss *him*. You just can't let go, and it looks like you're stuck in a loop. Even those six years aren't the real issue—it's the fact that you probably told yourself once that a year of grieving wasn't that long, so why is it a problem for two, three, four, five, or six? At this rate, you'll be hitting the ten-year mark before you know it.

Life is way too short to spend it hurting over someone, especially if they’re the one who walked away from you.
Personally, I’d find it easier to just freeze them out and move on by completely ignoring them.
But hey, everyone handles things differently...
Besides, who’s to say you wouldn’t have ended up miserable if you had stayed together anyway?

Jamie Adams6 said:Does it even matter? Honestly, if I just told you to stop complaining, you’d probably spend all night whining that I’m being insensitive—wish it were that easy. Just to put things in perspective, look at those pet threads where people go absolutely ballistic over a dead cat or a goldfish and nobody thinks they're weird for it. Come to think of it, you'd probably rather deal with a literal death because grieving would be way more straightforward. Here, he's gone too, and you're mourning, but you're also feeling "betrayed"—you know, the whole mess where he ghosted you for someone else without even leaving you a settlement or an apartment to live in, but that’s a whole other conversation. That hurts, sure, but your ego is taking a hit here too, and honestly? I highly doubt you actually miss *him*. You just can't let go, and it looks like you're stuck in a loop. Even those six years aren't the real issue—it's the fact that you probably told yourself once that a year of grieving wasn't that long, so why is it a problem for two, three, four, five, or six? At this rate, you'll be hitting the ten-year mark before you know it.

Just pure passive-aggression toward something we don't quite get...