How do I overcome anxiety?

Hey everyone. I’m not sure if anyone is actually going to see this, but whatever, I might as well give it a shot.
I'm 19, and my main issue is this constant, nagging fear of being laughed at, judged, or even just called out. Honestly, I have no idea how to fix this crap. It’s been weighing on me for almost two years now, and it's seriously holding me back from living my life. I struggle to even start anything because I'm terrified of failing and becoming a laughingstock. Lately, I've been watching a lot of MMA, and I really want to get into training, but a thousand different doubts are stopping me. I feel like I'm already too old to start—which sounds pretty ridiculous, I know—and I'm scared the guys at the gym will make fun of me. How do I deal with this? Any solid advice would mean a lot. 😉

If you’re struggling with anxiety or just feeling a bit timid, I truly think picking up a combat sport could be a transformative move for you. There is something quite cathartic about letting off steam through controlled aggression—not just swinging wildly at nothing, mind you, but channeling that energy into a structured match. It acts as a sort of crucible for building genuine self-assurance.
As for the hecklers? If anyone decides to mock you, my advice is simple: just turn your head, look away, and go about your business. Don't give them the satisfaction of an audience.

What exactly went down two years ago?

I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like to go through life without someone occasionally pushing back against you. I’ve forgotten what that feels like—if such a period even existed for me. Have I ever been laughed at? Of course. Been judged? Definitely. 🥳 So why does that scare you?

Looks like we might have a potential new Alexander Rakić situation on our hands. 🙏

Mark Bailey5 said:If you’re struggling with anxiety or just feeling a bit timid, I truly think picking up a combat sport could be a transformative move for you. There is something quite cathartic about letting off steam through controlled aggression—not just swinging wildly at nothing, mind you, but channeling that energy into a structured match. It acts as a sort of crucible for building genuine self-assurance.
As for the hecklers? If anyone decides to mock you, my advice is simple: just turn your head, look away, and go about your business. Don't give them the satisfaction of an audience.

I need something like that. I need to purge this negative headspace, and if I'm being honest, my dream is to actually reach a professional level.
I realize it’s going to take a massive amount of time and absolutely brutal training sessions, and I want to go for it. But like I said, there's this constant loop in my head telling me I won't make it, that I'm too old, or whatever. Believe me, I'd give anything to stop limiting myself and just live my life, but I honestly don't know how to break out of it.🤷

Eric Gray2 said:What exactly went down two years ago?

I’m not really one for rehashing the past, but I ended up in the foster care system. Honestly, those foster parents did a hell of a job drilling into me this idea that I’m completely useless and incapable of doing anything right.

Paul Thomas81 said:I need something like that. I need to purge this negative headspace, and if I'm being honest, my dream is to actually reach a professional level.
I realize it’s going to take a massive amount of time and absolutely brutal training sessions, and I want to go for it. But like I said, there's this constant loop in my head telling me I won't make it, that I'm too old, or whatever. Believe me, I'd give anything to stop limiting myself and just live my life, but I honestly don't know how to break out of it.🤷

Whether you hit the pro level or not isn't the point. What matters is doing what actually makes you happy. Personally, I'd much rather train in a combat sport than go to an aerobics or Pilates class. I tried those before; they were just too boring.🍿

jadetinker85 said:I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like to go through life without someone occasionally pushing back against you. I’ve forgotten what that feels like—if such a period even existed for me. Have I ever been laughed at? Of course. Been judged? Definitely. 🥳 So why does that scare you?

I’m honestly at a loss for words here. It wasn't always like this for me. Back in the day, standing my ground, fighting for myself—even getting into a scrap and either winning or losing—none of it bothered me. I just never backed down. But lately, whenever something happens, I just freeze. I hit a wall and have no idea how to react.
Take a ridiculous situation from a few weeks ago. I went out with an old friend, someone I've known for years. We hadn't seen each other in months because I intentionally stepped back after she got into a relationship; I didn't want to cause any drama or mess up her new thing. It was around Christmas, so I reached out to wish her a Merry Christmas and a happy birthday, and we met up for a walk. Everything was going fine until her boyfriend showed up. He started screaming at her, accusing her of cheating on him with me, and then he gets right in her face. Then he turns his sights on me, looking for a fight and trying to bully me. I walked home absolutely livid with myself for letting some guy treat me like garbage. And what if he had turned on her? What if he’d laid a hand on her? I know I acted like a coward, and I'm pissed at myself for it, but I just froze. I completely locked up and couldn't find the nerve to push back. Why? I have no clue.

Paul Thomas81 said:I’m not really one for rehashing the past, but I ended up in the foster care system. Honestly, those foster parents did a hell of a job drilling into me this idea that I’m completely useless and incapable of doing anything right.

Look, listen—this isn't just some minor thing you should brush off. You don't have to dive into the details here if you aren't comfortable, but maybe it’s worth looking for an "exit strategy" from whatever environment is dragging you down. I don't know the specifics of your situation or how things stand legally, but you're an adult now. No one should have to put up with that kind of treatment.
On a different note, I honestly think picking up a sport could do wonders for your mindset and your self-esteem. The catch is that the activity isn't going to just find you—and boxing (or whatever else you might try) won't train itself. You’re the one who has to take that first step.

Paul Thomas81 said:I’m honestly at a loss for words here. It wasn't always like this for me. Back in the day, standing my ground, fighting for myself—even getting into a scrap and either winning or losing—none of it bothered me. I just never backed down. But lately, whenever something happens, I just freeze. I hit a wall and have no idea how to react.
Take a ridiculous situation from a few weeks ago. I went out with an old friend, someone I've known for years. We hadn't seen each other in months because I intentionally stepped back after she got into a relationship; I didn't want to cause any drama or mess up her new thing. It was around Christmas, so I reached out to wish her a Merry Christmas and a happy birthday, and we met up for a walk. Everything was going fine until her boyfriend showed up. He started screaming at her, accusing her of cheating on him with me, and then he gets right in her face. Then he turns his sights on me, looking for a fight and trying to bully me. I walked home absolutely livid with myself for letting some guy treat me like garbage. And what if he had turned on her? What if he’d laid a hand on her? I know I acted like a coward, and I'm pissed at myself for it, but I just froze. I completely locked up and couldn't find the nerve to push back. Why? I have no clue.

😲 ybt, what a psycho... it's not your fault she found a lunatic to be her boyfriend. There's no point in picking a fight with someone unhinged. Did you even try telling him you guys have been friends for decades and he needs to stop making a scene?

Eric Gray2 said:Look, listen—this isn't just some minor thing you should brush off. You don't have to dive into the details here if you aren't comfortable, but maybe it’s worth looking for an "exit strategy" from whatever environment is dragging you down. I don't know the specifics of your situation or how things stand legally, but you're an adult now. No one should have to put up with that kind of treatment.
On a different note, I honestly think picking up a sport could do wonders for your mindset and your self-esteem. The catch is that the activity isn't going to just find you—and boxing (or whatever else you might try) won't train itself. You’re the one who has to take that first step.

I'm stuck with them for about another six months until I wrap up school. I know I shouldn't have to deal with any of this, but I really don't have a choice. If I say anything, the response is always, "Fine, then leave," but where am I supposed to go? Especially with everything being such a mess lately with the pandemic...

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. 🙂

jadetinker85 said:😲 ybt, what a psycho... it's not your fault she found a lunatic to be her boyfriend. There's no point in picking a fight with someone unhinged. Did you even try telling him you guys have been friends for decades and he needs to stop making a scene?

What can I say? I tried, but it’s a lost cause. If you look at it from his perspective—she was already planning on dumping him because of how he acts, and then I suddenly pop up right after all that... it practically looks like she's leaving him *because* of me. Anyone would think that.
You can't prove things to an idiot. If I actually wanted something with her, I certainly wouldn't have waited years to tell her 🤔
When it happens, it happens. Lol.

Don't write off combat sports just yet. I didn't pick up boxing until I was 22 or 23, and honestly, it was a blast. I never actually intended to step into the ring—I mostly did it for the conditioning—but the point is, it’s never too late to start.
Regarding that other situation, you made the right call backing off from your friend and her boyfriend. You don't need that kind of unnecessary drama in your life.
Just hang in there while you finish school. By the time you're done, the post-pandemic chaos will have settled down, and you can get out into the workforce like everyone else. Once you've got a job, you can move out and hit the reset button. You're still young; you've got plenty of time to make things happen.

Yeah, honestly, what’s even "too late" about it? You just go, you see, you give it a shot. And as for everyone else—who cares, right? Let them think whatever they want, it doesn't matter. That’s basically how you gotta organize your head if you want any peace. 😁

cosmicdriver42 said:Don't write off combat sports just yet. I didn't pick up boxing until I was 22 or 23, and honestly, it was a blast. I never actually intended to step into the ring—I mostly did it for the conditioning—but the point is, it’s never too late to start.
Regarding that other situation, you made the right call backing off from your friend and her boyfriend. You don't need that kind of unnecessary drama in your life.
Just hang in there while you finish school. By the time you're done, the post-pandemic chaos will have settled down, and you can get out into the workforce like everyone else. Once you've got a job, you can move out and hit the reset button. You're still young; you've got plenty of time to make things happen.

The issue is that even when I feel capable, or when I actually have a shred of motivation, someone inevitably shows up to talk me out of it. I end up feeling like an idiot and just quit. I honestly don't know why I do this to myself or why I set such narrow limits on what I can achieve.🤷

Paul Thomas81 said:The issue is that even when I feel capable, or when I actually have a shred of motivation, someone inevitably shows up to talk me out of it. I end up feeling like an idiot and just quit. I honestly don't know why I do this to myself or why I set such narrow limits on what I can achieve.🤷

It's simple: don't let that happen. Why would anyone else's opinion carry more weight than your own goals and desires? Especially when you're the one living your life.

Paul Thomas81 said:Hey everyone. I’m not sure if anyone is actually going to see this, but whatever, I might as well give it a shot.
I'm 19, and my main issue is this constant, nagging fear of being laughed at, judged, or even just called out. Honestly, I have no idea how to fix this crap. It’s been weighing on me for almost two years now, and it's seriously holding me back from living my life. I struggle to even start anything because I'm terrified of failing and becoming a laughingstock. Lately, I've been watching a lot of MMA, and I really want to get into training, but a thousand different doubts are stopping me. I feel like I'm already too old to start—which sounds pretty ridiculous, I know—and I'm scared the guys at the gym will make fun of me. How do I deal with this? Any solid advice would mean a lot. 😉

You need to shift your perspective.

People will mock you and judge you regardless of who you are. You have to learn how to stop letting someone else's mindset dictate your life.

The opposite of fear is love and faith. When you have genuine self-love, you stop caring about what others say or think of you.
It comes with experience and time. Just stay focused on your own path and trust your gut.

James Miller2 said:You need to shift your perspective.

People will mock you and judge you regardless of who you are. You have to learn how to stop letting someone else's mindset dictate your life.

The opposite of fear is love and faith. When you have genuine self-love, you stop caring about what others say or think of you.
It comes with experience and time. Just stay focused on your own path and trust your gut.

That all sounds easy on paper, but in reality, it’s pretty brutal. There are so many moving parts... I struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, panic attacks, and all those stupid insecurities regarding my looks. 😵
I know staying in this comfort zone is going to kill me, but every time I try to step out, that fear just knocks me sideways. I've tried seeing a therapist, but nothing seemed to click. It's that feeling when you desperately want to live life to the fullest, but you just can't fucking do it. 👎
Thanks for the advice.