Mental health struggles and "offers you can't refuse

Adam Morris4 said:Honestly, if you're just dealing with anxiety, jumping straight to an antipsychotic feels like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Usually, doctors would look at starting you on some antidepressants, maybe a little bit of benzos for a short window to steady things out, and then just taking it as needed... Now, don't get me wrong, your current dose isn't massive, but there's a catch. As those meds gradually block your dopamine receptors over time, you can start hitting this wall of emotional numbness, akathisia, heightened anxiety, or even depression. It’s a nasty cycle. In a worst-case scenario, if long-term antipsychotics are actually necessary, they really should have paired them with an antidepressant to prevent you from sliding into the headspace you're stuck in right now...
In the best-case scenario, though—assuming the psychosis doesn't come back and you aren't dealing with schizophrenia like you mentioned—you might be able to phase out the antipsychotics entirely...
And I think it goes without saying that staying away from drugs is non-negotiable... For someone in your position, recreational use is a direct ticket to psychosis...
Sometimes, it really only takes one bad trip to derail your entire life.

And definitely go for that job, provided it's something you actually want to do.

As I mentioned, I managed to go a few months without antipsychotics and the psychosis didn't come back. However—whether I was on them or not—that underlying tension never really left me. I do understand what the psychiatrists were thinking, though; that constant tension can trigger a psychotic episode, so they were likely just trying to protect me by introducing the medication.
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll grab some Rivotril, get moving, and hopefully—finally—start seeing some wins in life.

Olivia Smith2 said:As I mentioned, I managed to go a few months without antipsychotics and the psychosis didn't come back. However—whether I was on them or not—that underlying tension never really left me. I do understand what the psychiatrists were thinking, though; that constant tension can trigger a psychotic episode, so they were likely just trying to protect me by introducing the medication.
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll grab some Rivotril, get moving, and hopefully—finally—start seeing some wins in life.

Personally, I’d much rather suggest finding an Ad that actually works for you. Think of them like a sort of "brain steroid" to help you gear up for the fight ahead. It might give you that extra boost you need to tackle this new job and stack up those victories without needing the antipsychotics.

Olivia Smith2 said:I’ve been talking about this for days with a few friends—people who haven't dealt with mental health struggles and can't quite grasp what I'm going through right now. That’s why I’m turning to you all; I’m hoping for some constructive advice, and maybe—if I’m being honest—just a little bit of support.

For those who missed my previous posts here, here is the situation: about two years ago, I went through a psychotic episode. I was on heavy medication at first, then gradually tapered down until I reached a somewhat stable state. However, alongside that past episode, I developed generalized anxiety disorder, which—it feels to me—is actually causing more damage.

Right now, I find myself in a really difficult chapter of my life. The psychosis hit shortly after I graduated from college. During my studies, there were so many opportunities on the table—everything from grad school scholarships to high-level career paths. In short, a real career was within reach. But the psychosis stalled everything. My father—who has always been incredibly supportive and was planning to help me financially so I could build a solid foundation for my career—was understanding about it all. He even found me a job, though I specifically asked for something with very light professional demands and reduced hours. I had already essentially written off my career prospects, just trying to scrape by because of the cognitive deficits I was feeling. It’s been like this for several years.

After work, I just lie in bed. I don't really have hobbies; I occasionally see someone, but my emotions feel totally numbed out. I spend my time idling and making vague plans for some distant future when "everything finally falls into place." Essentially, I'm just stuck. A few months ago, I started having these recurring dreams about getting older—about life passing me by while I remain completely stationary. Those dreams were the breaking point; I'm starting to feel this internal drive to move, especially since I've been living in chronic poverty and total hopelessness.

I've been speaking with my psychiatrist, who encourages me by saying I'm intellectually very strong, and my boss, who told me he’s "finally glad to see me snap out of it and stop wasting my talent." Suddenly, overnight, I’m starting to receive offers that most people would kill for—opportunities they’ve spent years working toward. They’re practically being served to me on a silver platter because I made such a great impression during my time in school and early work. The problem is, I feel like I don't even have the strength to pick up the plate.

I am being offered a great job along with a scholarship for further education. Ever since the offer came in, I haven't been able to sleep properly. The moment I heard the news, my ears felt clogged, my thoughts turned into complete chaos, and my concentration plummeted to the point where I can barely read a few sentences. It feels like my own body is sabotaging itself, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm glad that I'm finally motivated and that I actually *want* to get out of bed, but I’m haunted by massive questions: CAN I ACTUALLY HANDLE THESE NEW AND SERIOUS CHALLENGES, AND WILL I DESTROY MY HEALTH BY TRYING?

I'm paralyzed. I'm being handed opportunities that any "normal" person would grab in a heartbeat, but I'm not normal. I'm struggling with intense anxiety.

People tell me that, in the end, I have nothing to lose—that I should just go for it because they don't see any "glitch" in me that would hold me back. But I feel that glitch deep inside. I am terrified of failing and of letting these opportunities slip away.

Does anyone have any advice? I'll take anything. Are there any general trends or statistics regarding people with psychological struggles when it comes to handling complex tasks and advanced learning?

Ever since this career wind was blown in my direction, I've lost all sense of time. I'm completely frazzled, spiraling through hundreds of different scenarios in my head—some of them truly irrational. What should I do?

HELP!

For the professionals: I'm currently taking 1x 150 mg Quetiapine SR, 2x 0.5 Klonopin, and 1x 75 mg Pregabalin.

Back during college, I went through this massive shock—total trauma—and I basically spiraled from being this super ambitious, driven, pretty girl straight into psychosis.
My friends just... they all bailed.
With these heavy meds, honestly, I have no idea how I’m even managing to graduate with honors. And the psychosis? It's always there, lurking in the back of my mind, messing with my thoughts and exams... It’s constant. I tried being vulnerable and opening up to some classmates about what I was going through, but instead of support, I just got mocked, gossiped about, and looked down on. It was brutal. I don't even know how I'll land a job... the psychosis simmers while I work, and a few times it's escalated quite badly. But then, suddenly—out of nowhere—this huge opportunity comes along with all the right connections and just enough luck to trigger this massive intellectual breakthrough of mine. I've been pulling in over $10,000$0.00 between my main job and freelance gigs, sometimes even more... I'm buying real estate, handling everything with ease, and really moving forward in life. My last IQ score on a psych evaluation was a 94, which isn't bad at all—actually pretty solid and well above average. Shoot me a DM if you want to chat

Based on your level of self-awareness and the way you express yourself, it's clear you're quite intelligent, though
- you should probably talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication; maybe a different combination would suit you better.
- try tackling small challenges every day that trigger just a hint of discomfort—that familiar anxiety. Push yourself slightly and overcome those minor hurdles daily.
- you need to build some structure into your routine, specifically regarding exercise. Working out triggers that natural endorphin rush, and you'll likely see progress over time. Plus, whenever anxious thoughts start creeping in, physical activity can help; rhythmic movement, controlled breathing, even counting your reps—it all acts as therapy for both mind and body.
- I'd suggest shifting your mindset regarding these job opportunities. You might mess them up, you might nail them, or you might find they're actually more interesting than you anticipated, which could spark some much-needed motivation and drive. That alone could contribute to a healthier lifestyle. You never really know. It’s best to approach this with an open, relaxed mind—which is hard when you're dealing with anxiety—but staying open to both failure and success without being so tense might help things fall into place naturally.

Someone mentioned once that anxiety is essentially just being obsessed with the past or the future. There's a lot of truth in that. That's why it's vital to focus on the tasks directly in front of you right now. Every option remains on the table, but you reach them one step at a time, not all at once (trying to jump ahead is exactly what fuels that terrifying, anxious feeling). So, I suppose you should look at these opportunities as a bit of a game. Even if they don't work out, it doesn't mean you're incompetent or incapable. Quite the opposite. In the worst-case scenario, you'll find a way to pivot and start over. I say that because of how you write and how self-aware you seem to be regarding yourself and the world.

Just take it easy, one step at a time.

William Sanders6 said:Based on your level of self-awareness and the way you express yourself, it's clear you're quite intelligent, though
- you should probably talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication; maybe a different combination would suit you better.
- try tackling small challenges every day that trigger just a hint of discomfort—that familiar anxiety. Push yourself slightly and overcome those minor hurdles daily.
- you need to build some structure into your routine, specifically regarding exercise. Working out triggers that natural endorphin rush, and you'll likely see progress over time. Plus, whenever anxious thoughts start creeping in, physical activity can help; rhythmic movement, controlled breathing, even counting your reps—it all acts as therapy for both mind and body.
- I'd suggest shifting your mindset regarding these job opportunities. You might mess them up, you might nail them, or you might find they're actually more interesting than you anticipated, which could spark some much-needed motivation and drive. That alone could contribute to a healthier lifestyle. You never really know. It’s best to approach this with an open, relaxed mind—which is hard when you're dealing with anxiety—but staying open to both failure and success without being so tense might help things fall into place naturally.

Someone mentioned once that anxiety is essentially just being obsessed with the past or the future. There's a lot of truth in that. That's why it's vital to focus on the tasks directly in front of you right now. Every option remains on the table, but you reach them one step at a time, not all at once (trying to jump ahead is exactly what fuels that terrifying, anxious feeling). So, I suppose you should look at these opportunities as a bit of a game. Even if they don't work out, it doesn't mean you're incompetent or incapable. Quite the opposite. In the worst-case scenario, you'll find a way to pivot and start over. I say that because of how you write and how self-aware you seem to be regarding yourself and the world.

Just take it easy, one step at a time.

Thank you.

I’m guessing you’re on some kind of medication—if you are, you really ought to stick to the regimen so that anxiety doesn't just wash you away entirely

Olivia Smith2 said:As I mentioned, I managed to go a few months without antipsychotics and the psychosis didn't come back. However—whether I was on them or not—that underlying tension never really left me. I do understand what the psychiatrists were thinking, though; that constant tension can trigger a psychotic episode, so they were likely just trying to protect me by introducing the medication.
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll grab some Rivotril, get moving, and hopefully—finally—start seeing some wins in life.

Did you just decide to quit your meds on your own?
You can't play games when it comes to psychosis.

fadedbear92 said:I’m guessing you’re on some kind of medication—if you are, you really ought to stick to the regimen so that anxiety doesn't just wash you away entirely

There are just so many unknowns in all of this—how can anyone truly be sure? When I was on those high doses of antipsychotics, I suspect akathisia kicked in as a side effect, though I mostly just felt incredibly restless. I would pace around my house constantly—is that even normal? Honestly, I think the real culprit was the emotional fallout from a breakup I was still reeling from. It dragged on far too long, and my psychiatrist didn't seem to notice at all—it took months before they finally handed me a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

After experiencing psychosis, it feels like both my mind and body have gone completely haywire—it's as if all those repressed emotions are suddenly resurfacing at once. I have this sense that my brain is taking a massive shortcut whenever stress hits; does that even make sense? In those high-pressure moments, I end up regressing to acting like a child again—just incredibly tense, frozen, and shaking uncontrollably.

I’m really not sure how much credit to give the therapy itself—mostly because my psychiatrist has me on such a minimal dose of antipsychotics, along with everything else meant to keep me steady—but does anyone else feel that way?

fadedbear92 said:Did you just decide to quit your meds on your own?
You can't play games when it comes to psychosis.

Not quite—the plan was to taper off the antipsychotics gradually until they were completely discontinued. I'm actually restarting them now because my tension levels have spiked again. I don't fully grasp the logic behind how these medications work—why this specific approach is necessary—but I'm following the doctor's lead.

It’s interesting—my psychiatrist actually told me I wasn't "psychotic enough" to be unable to handle certain things. I asked if that meant I was still somewhat psychotic, and he just laughed—kind of dismissively—saying, "Don't overthink it, you know what happened." It makes me wonder... does experiencing even a single psychotic episode permanently warp your perception of reality? Or is that just an assumption? Strange, isn't it?

I think there might be a mistake with the medication 🤔
And honestly, maybe those things are just weighing you down too much or keeping you stuck.

Another thing I've noticed is how much weight you're putting on this diagnosis.
As long as you let it be this massive, defining thing in your life, it’s going to feel more powerful than you are.
But in reality, it isn't. You're—and always will be—stronger than that. It’s just about figuring out how you function so you can get ahead of it. (If you've been seeing a therapist for a while now, maybe it's time for a change. You should have seen some progress by now.)

It feels as though there is a glaring absence of an effective antidepressant in this current treatment plan, so I would strongly suggest that the original poster take this up directly with their psychiatrist.

Look, people aren't stupid. We just patch ourselves up, scrape by, and keep moving. You can either spend your entire life living in constant fear of a psychotic break—dealing with the nightmares and all that—or you can actually deal with it. I guess we aren't psychiatrists here, so we shouldn't be handing out medical advice, but maybe there’s room to tweak your regimen to make things a bit more bearable. It probably wouldn't hurt to seek out a second opinion, too.
I'm no expert, but I suspect Ad might actually trigger a psychotic episode, so combining it might not be the best move. If you did go that route, you’d likely have to bump up the Ap. Honestly, finding the right balance is such a massive headache; it takes a ridiculous amount of time. Maybe you should just figure it out as you go—though I suppose that depends on how much time you have before things spiral. If I were in your shoes, I’d ask my doctor about adjusting things to dial down the anxiety, and I’d definitely track down a solid pharmacologist for a second opinion.

I’m with a few of the recent comments here—you’re putting way too much weight on some label or diagnosis. Once you actually see the kind of people you'll be dealing with in the real world, you’ll realize how lucky you are to just have what you have. 😁

Jokes aside...

A day has 24 hours, and honestly, nobody is going to notice if you lose 60 minutes while your brain is basically mush. (Unless you’re a surgeon, obviously.) Just take a job you actually enjoy.

Henry Fisher74 said:I think there might be a mistake with the medication 🤔
And honestly, maybe those things are just weighing you down too much or keeping you stuck.

Another thing I've noticed is how much weight you're putting on this diagnosis.
As long as you let it be this massive, defining thing in your life, it’s going to feel more powerful than you are.
But in reality, it isn't. You're—and always will be—stronger than that. It’s just about figuring out how you function so you can get ahead of it. (If you've been seeing a therapist for a while now, maybe it's time for a change. You should have seen some progress by now.)

You're absolutely right. Ever since my episode happened, I lost so much confidence that I couldn't even hold a basic conversation with people. I wasted several years living in fear—just waiting for the next episode to hit. I would overanalyze every single thought from every possible angle, losing all faith in my own judgment and logic. That diagnosis ended up triggering some pretty intense self-stigma.

redranger2 said:It feels as though there is a glaring absence of an effective antidepressant in this current treatment plan, so I would strongly suggest that the original poster take this up directly with their psychiatrist.

Ad can sometimes trigger a new episode. It’s rarely prescribed to people who have experienced or are prone to losing touch with reality.

Maria Price3 said:Look, people aren't stupid. We just patch ourselves up, scrape by, and keep moving. You can either spend your entire life living in constant fear of a psychotic break—dealing with the nightmares and all that—or you can actually deal with it. I guess we aren't psychiatrists here, so we shouldn't be handing out medical advice, but maybe there’s room to tweak your regimen to make things a bit more bearable. It probably wouldn't hurt to seek out a second opinion, too.
I'm no expert, but I suspect Ad might actually trigger a psychotic episode, so combining it might not be the best move. If you did go that route, you’d likely have to bump up the Ap. Honestly, finding the right balance is such a massive headache; it takes a ridiculous amount of time. Maybe you should just figure it out as you go—though I suppose that depends on how much time you have before things spiral. If I were in your shoes, I’d ask my doctor about adjusting things to dial down the anxiety, and I’d definitely track down a solid pharmacologist for a second opinion.

I've started tackling some of my biggest fears lately, and I can say I'm feeling better. Significantly better. Though, being a bit of a pessimist, I can't help but wonder—how long will this feeling last? 😬

hiddenheron3 said:I’m with a few of the recent comments here—you’re putting way too much weight on some label or diagnosis. Once you actually see the kind of people you'll be dealing with in the real world, you’ll realize how lucky you are to just have what you have. 😁

Jokes aside...

A day has 24 hours, and honestly, nobody is going to notice if you lose 60 minutes while your brain is basically mush. (Unless you’re a surgeon, obviously.) Just take a job you actually enjoy.

Thanks for the advice and the support. I’ve already started making some small moves. It’s moving at a decent pace so far—hopefully, everything works out fine. 🙂

You’re overthinking this way too much, probably because you're just not sure how to actually pull off the job or the offer you were handed.
Honestly, if you want an answer, there's really only one way to go about it: just dive in and stop second-guessing everything.

Olivia Smith2 said:You're absolutely right. Ever since my episode happened, I lost so much confidence that I couldn't even hold a basic conversation with people. I wasted several years living in fear—just waiting for the next episode to hit. I would overanalyze every single thought from every possible angle, losing all faith in my own judgment and logic. That diagnosis ended up triggering some pretty intense self-stigma.

Ad can sometimes trigger a new episode. It’s rarely prescribed to people who have experienced or are prone to losing touch with reality.

I've started tackling some of my biggest fears lately, and I can say I'm feeling better. Significantly better. Though, being a bit of a pessimist, I can't help but wonder—how long will this feeling last? 😬

Thanks for the advice and the support. I’ve already started making some small moves. It’s moving at a decent pace so far—hopefully, everything works out fine. 🙂

Look, you’re where you are. If you don't start taking risks and stop hiding in your comfort zone, nothing is going to change. Honestly, the worst thing that could happen if you take this job is that it turns out to be a bad fit. But things aren't likely to get any worse than they already are. At least you'll have the experience. Maybe that's enough.
And maybe doing this could actually help your current situation.

Focus is everything. People think they're moving on, but they’re really just obsessing over what they're trying to escape—or in your case, focusing on the diagnosis.

It’s just a label from one doctor. It doesn't define who you are. It’s just a circumstance. You’re still the same person you were before, and you’ll be someone else after this passes.
You probably need to shift your focus and start building some new daily habits.
I know that sounds impossible, or at least pretty damn hard, but it can be done.

🙂

Olivia Smith2, you have a PM.

Olivia Smith2 said:I’ve been talking about this for days with a few friends—people who haven't dealt with mental health struggles and can't quite grasp what I'm going through right now. That’s why I’m turning to you all; I’m hoping for some constructive advice, and maybe—if I’m being honest—just a little bit of support.

For those who missed my previous posts here, here is the situation: about two years ago, I went through a psychotic episode. I was on heavy medication at first, then gradually tapered down until I reached a somewhat stable state. However, alongside that past episode, I developed generalized anxiety disorder, which—it feels to me—is actually causing more damage.

Right now, I find myself in a really difficult chapter of my life. The psychosis hit shortly after I graduated from college. During my studies, there were so many opportunities on the table—everything from grad school scholarships to high-level career paths. In short, a real career was within reach. But the psychosis stalled everything. My father—who has always been incredibly supportive and was planning to help me financially so I could build a solid foundation for my career—was understanding about it all. He even found me a job, though I specifically asked for something with very light professional demands and reduced hours. I had already essentially written off my career prospects, just trying to scrape by because of the cognitive deficits I was feeling. It’s been like this for several years.

After work, I just lie in bed. I don't really have hobbies; I occasionally see someone, but my emotions feel totally numbed out. I spend my time idling and making vague plans for some distant future when "everything finally falls into place." Essentially, I'm just stuck. A few months ago, I started having these recurring dreams about getting older—about life passing me by while I remain completely stationary. Those dreams were the breaking point; I'm starting to feel this internal drive to move, especially since I've been living in chronic poverty and total hopelessness.

I've been speaking with my psychiatrist, who encourages me by saying I'm intellectually very strong, and my boss, who told me he’s "finally glad to see me snap out of it and stop wasting my talent." Suddenly, overnight, I’m starting to receive offers that most people would kill for—opportunities they’ve spent years working toward. They’re practically being served to me on a silver platter because I made such a great impression during my time in school and early work. The problem is, I feel like I don't even have the strength to pick up the plate.

I am being offered a great job along with a scholarship for further education. Ever since the offer came in, I haven't been able to sleep properly. The moment I heard the news, my ears felt clogged, my thoughts turned into complete chaos, and my concentration plummeted to the point where I can barely read a few sentences. It feels like my own body is sabotaging itself, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm glad that I'm finally motivated and that I actually *want* to get out of bed, but I’m haunted by massive questions: CAN I ACTUALLY HANDLE THESE NEW AND SERIOUS CHALLENGES, AND WILL I DESTROY MY HEALTH BY TRYING?

I'm paralyzed. I'm being handed opportunities that any "normal" person would grab in a heartbeat, but I'm not normal. I'm struggling with intense anxiety.

People tell me that, in the end, I have nothing to lose—that I should just go for it because they don't see any "glitch" in me that would hold me back. But I feel that glitch deep inside. I am terrified of failing and of letting these opportunities slip away.

Does anyone have any advice? I'll take anything. Are there any general trends or statistics regarding people with psychological struggles when it comes to handling complex tasks and advanced learning?

Ever since this career wind was blown in my direction, I've lost all sense of time. I'm completely frazzled, spiraling through hundreds of different scenarios in my head—some of them truly irrational. What should I do?

HELP!

For the professionals: I'm currently taking 1x 150 mg Quetiapine SR, 2x 0.5 Klonopin, and 1x 75 mg Pregabalin.

Haven't read the replies yet, but honestly, the fix is pretty basic. Just take the job and the stipend, then deal with the GAD at a psychiatrist on the side. I guess if you put in the work and focus on stuff outside yourself, you'll probably be fine. Good luck.

Adam Morales2 said:Haven't read the replies yet, but honestly, the fix is pretty basic. Just take the job and the stipend, then deal with the GAD at a psychiatrist on the side. I guess if you put in the work and focus on stuff outside yourself, you'll probably be fine. Good luck.

Concise, clear, sensible, and actually doable—I really appreciate posts like this that don't overcomplicate things with unnecessary philosophy 😍, though maybe you should consider a career in psychiatry 😬
I say that because I’m dealing with a similar mess myself, and I had been thinking along those same lines about how to handle things, but with my brain feeling like such a disaster zone, I just couldn't organize my thoughts that clearly. This isn't exactly my area of expertise, but thanks for the advice 🙂