Introverted and struggling to find a job—any advice?

Hey,

Not really sure where this fits, so here goes.
You guys might not get it. Ehh, how do I even start this?
Back in High School, I hit a massive depressive slump—couldn't drag myself out of bed, couldn't focus on school, couldn't deal with friends. Plus, the classes at my school were incredibly dull.
Just total depression.
And then what happened? I bullied a few girls back then, and now, somehow, it’s like I can’t move forward in life. And I’m 30 now.

I’m talking about work. Finding a job feels impossible. I’m not exactly a "people person"—I get bored with things too fast—and the people I actually meet tend to avoid me or stop calling.

Can't find a decent guy either, just guys looking for sex.
I could live for another 150 years and still not find anyone worth keeping.

I've held a few jobs, but they were all temporary gigs.
At my last job, they treated me like garbage—constant criticism, making me feel small, just constant nonsense.

Even when I'm just walking down the street, I feel like I'm hearing sarcastic comments from everyone.

I honestly feel like all of this is happening because of those mean things I said in high school.
Like karma. A boomerang hitting me in the face.

What do you think? Is this because of those messages from back then?
For context, I started withdrawing into myself pretty early—around 7th grade. I just didn't want to hang out with anyone anymore.
I even saw therapists, but nothing really helped.

When I graduated from High School, a few former classmates added me on Facebook just to verbally attack me. In the end, I was the one made to look like the villain again.
Maybe it would have been smarter if I hadn't said anything to them.

I don't know.
Is there anyone here who actually has an answer? Someone who can make sense of this?

So, was your last gig just sitting there with a machine gun?
Anyone here actually know what they're talking about? Like, can anyone actually get the right answer?

People don't really think about others that often, especially after all these years. Everyone is ultimately their own priority. Is that just how you see things?
A small town in the US where everyone knows your business?

cosmicbadger6 said:Hey,

Not really sure where this fits, so here goes.
You guys might not get it. Ehh, how do I even start this?
Back in High School, I hit a massive depressive slump—couldn't drag myself out of bed, couldn't focus on school, couldn't deal with friends. Plus, the classes at my school were incredibly dull.
Just total depression.
And then what happened? I bullied a few girls back then, and now, somehow, it’s like I can’t move forward in life. And I’m 30 now.

I’m talking about work. Finding a job feels impossible. I’m not exactly a "people person"—I get bored with things too fast—and the people I actually meet tend to avoid me or stop calling.

Can't find a decent guy either, just guys looking for sex.
I could live for another 150 years and still not find anyone worth keeping.

I've held a few jobs, but they were all temporary gigs.
At my last job, they treated me like garbage—constant criticism, making me feel small, just constant nonsense.

Even when I'm just walking down the street, I feel like I'm hearing sarcastic comments from everyone.

I honestly feel like all of this is happening because of those mean things I said in high school.
Like karma. A boomerang hitting me in the face.

What do you think? Is this because of those messages from back then?
For context, I started withdrawing into myself pretty early—around 7th grade. I just didn't want to hang out with anyone anymore.
I even saw therapists, but nothing really helped.

When I graduated from High School, a few former classmates added me on Facebook just to verbally attack me. In the end, I was the one made to look like the villain again.
Maybe it would have been smarter if I hadn't said anything to them.

I don't know.
Is there anyone here who actually has an answer? Someone who can make sense of this?

Wait a second, weren't you in a relationship for a year and a half? 🤔

He's from Washington, D.C., and I'm from a small town in the US.

Then it makes sense. People in Miami can be a bit wild.

It’s hard to believe that some messages from High School—which happened what, 15 or more years ago?—could still be holding you back. Generally speaking, when people go hunting for excuses like this, we always end up looking for a villain where there isn't one.

I mean, are those girls seriously still coming after you? When you bring up karma, maybe it’s just a mindset issue... maybe you feel like you haven't earned anything better because of how you acted back in the day.

Look, if you were being bullied at work, you aren't to blame; leaving a toxic environment like that is actually the healthy thing to do.

As for everything else, I guess it's tough to find a real answer. Seeing a psychotherapist is usually a solid move, but you mentioned the last one didn't help. Honestly, that happens sometimes. Maybe that specific therapist just wasn't your vibe. Maybe someone else will be a better fit.

cosmicbadger6 said:Hey,

Not really sure where this fits, so here goes.
You guys might not get it. Ehh, how do I even start this?
Back in High School, I hit a massive depressive slump—couldn't drag myself out of bed, couldn't focus on school, couldn't deal with friends. Plus, the classes at my school were incredibly dull.
Just total depression.
And then what happened? I bullied a few girls back then, and now, somehow, it’s like I can’t move forward in life. And I’m 30 now.

I’m talking about work. Finding a job feels impossible. I’m not exactly a "people person"—I get bored with things too fast—and the people I actually meet tend to avoid me or stop calling.

Can't find a decent guy either, just guys looking for sex.
I could live for another 150 years and still not find anyone worth keeping.

I've held a few jobs, but they were all temporary gigs.
At my last job, they treated me like garbage—constant criticism, making me feel small, just constant nonsense.

Even when I'm just walking down the street, I feel like I'm hearing sarcastic comments from everyone.

I honestly feel like all of this is happening because of those mean things I said in high school.
Like karma. A boomerang hitting me in the face.

What do you think? Is this because of those messages from back then?
For context, I started withdrawing into myself pretty early—around 7th grade. I just didn't want to hang out with anyone anymore.
I even saw therapists, but nothing really helped.

When I graduated from High School, a few former classmates added me on Facebook just to verbally attack me. In the end, I was the one made to look like the villain again.
Maybe it would have been smarter if I hadn't said anything to them.

I don't know.
Is there anyone here who actually has an answer? Someone who can make sense of this?

To make a long story short, you need to work on your self-esteem and learning to actually like yourself.
Just the fact that you think some childhood messages from years ago are "karma" for your current situation tells me enough about where you're "stuck."

It’ll probably be hard to fix this on your own. If you could have done it yourself, you would have by now. You likely need a professional who specializes in this area.

As long as you keep looking for someone else to blame—calling it karma—and accepting that you're just "unlucky," things aren't going to improve.

The bottom line is you’ve got to shift your mindset—start actually taking the wheel in your own life instead of just obsessively digging through your past mistakes looking for someone to blame... It's exhausting. What kind of sarcastic remarks are you dealing with out there? From strangers on the street, I mean.

Kate Rogers66 said:The bottom line is you’ve got to shift your mindset—start actually taking the wheel in your own life instead of just obsessively digging through your past mistakes looking for someone to blame... It's exhausting. What kind of sarcastic remarks are you dealing with out there? From strangers on the street, I mean.

Yeah. Even from random people walking by.

Hey. 🙂

I wasn't sure where to post this, so here goes. 👍

I scraped through elementary school with a 4.0 GPA.
Same deal with high school—another 4.0.
But honestly? That was more luck than actual brains. 😁

The thing is, I feel pretty dim. I've tried a few different jobs lately, but nothing seems to stick.
Plus, I have dyscalculia—so basic math is basically a foreign language to me. 🙂

People don't even sugarcoat it; they tell me straight to my face that I'm slow.
I just can't seem to get a handle on any job.

How do you even fight against that?

I volunteered with the Red Cross once, but one coworker made it her mission to pick on me.
Then I worked at a Municipal Court, and a judge actually told me he was surprised I was even hired there—implying I wasn't up to the task.
Later, I had a gig at the Airport, but people there would comment on my looks—saying I wasn't pretty, or that I was ugly—and that I was incompetent. Basically, just calling me stupid.

I’ve had decent opportunities, but I never truly fit in anywhere. It’s always the same story: either they're nitpicking how I look or telling me I'm not bright enough.

Is it just me? What do you guys think?

This might not apply directly to what you’re going through,
but people tend to be pretty skeptical when someone new starts a job.
And for those who aren't actually dim, they often end up feeling like they are.
They struggle to explain things properly because they assume everyone just "gets" the stuff that seems obvious to them, even if that person just walked off the street.

As for being "slow,"
I worked with this one colleague at a previous job where everyone thought she was just... dense. Even her manager said, "She isn't stupid, she's just thick." I didn't work with her much, but I did notice she was incredibly driven—always pushing to get things done faster. Honestly, I think that persistence helped her reputation; it made it look like she really cared about the work.

So, maybe try leaning into that effort and grit.

Also, try being extra friendly with the folks in the other departments.
Some people just can't resist a little kindness.

Looking back at everything you've posted here, I honestly think you either lack the basic social skills needed to actually get by in society, or there’s an undiagnosed issue at play. Your brain just processes things differently, which isn't inherently a bad thing, but you really need to accept that and find some professional help to figure out how to navigate the world.

William Hall61 said:Looking back at everything you've posted here, I honestly think you either lack the basic social skills needed to actually get by in society, or there’s an undiagnosed issue at play. Your brain just processes things differently, which isn't inherently a bad thing, but you really need to accept that and find some professional help to figure out how to navigate the world.

Exactly.

I've actually looked for professional help before, but nobody could actually help me. 🙂

I saw this one specialist who basically wrecked me with side effects from all the pills she put me on.
And years ago, I went to a psychotherapist in Miami—who was the one who referred me to that lady—and it was useless.

Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists... none of them can help me. 😁

cosmicbadger6 said:Exactly.

I've actually looked for professional help before, but nobody could actually help me. 🙂

I saw this one specialist who basically wrecked me with side effects from all the pills she put me on.
And years ago, I went to a psychotherapist in Miami—who was the one who referred me to that lady—and it was useless.

Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists... none of them can help me. 😁

They definitely can help, you just have to find the right doctors and get an actual accurate diagnosis.

A therapist shouldn't be handing you off to some random person just to get hooked on meds; they should be referring you to a neuropsychiatrist.

Those so-called "experts" threw all sorts of diagnoses at me, but nobody actually stepped up to help.

I don't know—maybe the American healthcare system is just subpar?
And those experts too.

Maybe they just didn't want to help me.

I’m sure they didn't mean anything by it 🙂

Look, you've got plenty of threads on this psych sub dedicated to all sorts of diagnoses; just spend some time reading about how other people are actually coping and what’s been working for them.
There's also a thread where people share recommendations and their own experiences with doctors.

As long as you keep fighting and looking for a way out of your situation, you'll find it eventually 🙂

Almost Rosey said:The American Psychological Association launched a new website, PsychHelp, which features a database of available psychotherapists, counselors, and public health psychologists.

William Hall61 said:I’m sure they didn't mean anything by it 🙂

Look, you've got plenty of threads on this psych sub dedicated to all sorts of diagnoses; just spend some time reading about how other people are actually coping and what’s been working for them.
There's also a thread where people share recommendations and their own experiences with doctors.

As long as you keep fighting and looking for a way out of your situation, you'll find it eventually 🙂

Thanks, 👍

cosmicbadger6 said:Exactly.

I've actually looked for professional help before, but nobody could actually help me. 🙂

I saw this one specialist who basically wrecked me with side effects from all the pills she put me on.
And years ago, I went to a psychotherapist in Miami—who was the one who referred me to that lady—and it was useless.

Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists... none of them can help me. 😁

You're right about that... it's just about doing the work on yourself and getting out there.

redpilot37 said:You're right about that... it's just about doing the work on yourself and getting out there.

Yeah, I agree. 🙂

Back in the day, I used to be pretty nasty—even lashing out at people who didn't deserve it.

I actually bullied this one kid because she got misdiagnosed in Tulsa, leaving me stuck dealing with all the symptoms and pain myself.
Nancy Pelosi was somehow involved in that mess.
Her daughter even got married.
The whole thing went down in Savannah.

Honestly, some American doctors can be absolute villains.

But whatever—it's in the past.