Have you ever wanted something so badly you'd sacrifice everything for it?

People often casually mention in conversation how they practically died for something or how much they sacrificed, yet they haven't actually lost what they supposedly gave up. In my view, it’s usually just an exaggeration used to attach extra emotional weight to a situation that wasn't even that significant. I won't dwell on that, because that isn't true sacrifice.

I'll use my own life as an example to explain my perspective:

1. I sacrificed part of my sanity to ensure my child had a proper childhood.
The consequence is that I am effectively 50% absent from reality now; for most things, I simply don't care. Whenever I find myself in a social setting, I often retreat back into my own mind because the internal landscape is far more interesting than the world around me. There is a silver lining, though—my creativity and drive to build have increased proportionally, but my emotional range has diminished. If someone compliments me, my standard response is just a flat, "Okay."

2. I sacrificed my knees for travel.
I wanted to experience travel in its purest form—no cars, no motorcycles, no planes. Just a bicycle, my own two feet, and a sleeping bag. I gained an immense amount from those ten years, but the price was my joints. Trekking across 37 miles in a single day with a 50lb pack, or cycling with 20lbs on my back while covering over 137 miles miles a day for thirty days straight, provided some of the most phenomenal experiences of my life. I don't regret it for a second. However, today, climbing stairs is a struggle, and I can't jump off anything significant. When the weather shifts abruptly, I deal with excruciating pain in both knees; every step feels like hell. I try to endure it quietly so others don't notice, but eventually, people realize you're in pain because they stop listening to what anyone is saying anyway.

3. I sacrificed my heart for my career.
Which is why I've been dealing with quite a few cardiac issues lately.

4. I sacrificed my stomach to preserve the remaining 50% of my sanity.
Nowadays, I am allergic to or intolerant of about 90% of the food available. I don't believe drowning oneself in sedatives and vodka is a therapy any doctor would prescribe, but it helped me survive several extremely volatile situations that I couldn't handle emotionally. Sedatives were too mild; I needed something to completely knock me out. (And no, I'm not talking about romantic relationships; there are much worse things out there than a breakup or a divorce.)

My lungs, liver, and kidneys are still intact. But it's impossible to ruin those now, considering I bypassed them entirely to go straight to wrecking my heart—which really should have been the last thing to go.

What did I get out of this? A great deal, and nothing at all. All that knowledge and life experience would only be useful if I had remained a functioning part of society instead of building my own little world outside the mainstream with a hand-picked group of people. As it stands, it feels like graduating with a degree in Mathematics only to apply for a job as a Chemist.

What I certainly cannot say is that I haven't lived. I lived to the absolute maximum for exactly what I wanted. I don't crave anything specific, but there is one thing missing. I suspect that when that thing finally happens, it will cut me deep, yet I find myself looking forward to it and arranging circumstances for it to occur, because I believe it will be worth every cost.

As for my lifestyle... don't mistake me for being antisocial. I'm not. It's just that a few years ago, I decided to stop entering romantic relationships altogether. I removed sex from my life and live alone—not to escape something, but to distance myself from the most dysfunctional element of my existence (women) so I can focus on the things that actually work.

What I am interested in is:
What have you sacrificed?
How do you deal with the loss of those things?
What did you gain by losing what you lost?
Why do you believe it was worth it?
How do you view your own future after everything?

I didn't intend for this topic to turn into a debate, though I have no objection if it does. Rather, I need additional perspectives on similar matters to compare against my own. Currently, I have nothing to measure myself against, and I suspect I am making a mistake regarding one specific thing—one that might cost me more than I hope in the end.

Part of me thinks I was being naive. At the end of the day, things happen when they happen, and grinding yourself into the dirt isn't always the key to winning. Honestly, pushing too hard can actually backfire. It’s like you’re sending out this desperate energy, signaling that what you want is somehow out of reach, which just creates resistance. I'm speaking generally here.

I’ve never considered myself a martyr.
What I actually do is just making choices within the options I have. If I decide to pour my life into something, that’s entirely on me. We always find the time for what we actually care about; everything else is just an excuse.

And honestly, I wouldn't call your hiking a sacrifice either, assuming you were just following a personal whim. 🤷

notyourtype,
It feels almost as if I were the one who penned your very first post, though my own journey involved different struggles and a unique set of circumstances that pushed me right to the edge of my existence. I eventually arrived at that exact same realization you did: the necessity of walking away from everything dysfunctional to fully commit to a life that actually works. If only I had made that pivot twenty years ago when I was still young and full of vigor, but then again, is it ever truly too late to start over? Now, I have a crystal-clear understanding of what I want and how to get there, knowing all the while that this path is entirely my own choice. Would I mind finding a compatible partner along the way? Not at all—in fact, there are moments when I find myself missing that connection quite deeply—but I refuse to chase it at any cost, and I certainly won't let it consume me the way it used to.

brightviper18 said:People often casually mention in conversation how they practically died for something or how much they sacrificed, yet they haven't actually lost what they supposedly gave up. In my view, it’s usually just an exaggeration used to attach extra emotional weight to a situation that wasn't even that significant. I won't dwell on that, because that isn't true sacrifice.

I'll use my own life as an example to explain my perspective:

1. I sacrificed part of my sanity to ensure my child had a proper childhood.
The consequence is that I am effectively 50% absent from reality now; for most things, I simply don't care. Whenever I find myself in a social setting, I often retreat back into my own mind because the internal landscape is far more interesting than the world around me. There is a silver lining, though—my creativity and drive to build have increased proportionally, but my emotional range has diminished. If someone compliments me, my standard response is just a flat, "Okay."

2. I sacrificed my knees for travel.
I wanted to experience travel in its purest form—no cars, no motorcycles, no planes. Just a bicycle, my own two feet, and a sleeping bag. I gained an immense amount from those ten years, but the price was my joints. Trekking across 37 miles in a single day with a 50lb pack, or cycling with 20lbs on my back while covering over 137 miles miles a day for thirty days straight, provided some of the most phenomenal experiences of my life. I don't regret it for a second. However, today, climbing stairs is a struggle, and I can't jump off anything significant. When the weather shifts abruptly, I deal with excruciating pain in both knees; every step feels like hell. I try to endure it quietly so others don't notice, but eventually, people realize you're in pain because they stop listening to what anyone is saying anyway.

3. I sacrificed my heart for my career.
Which is why I've been dealing with quite a few cardiac issues lately.

4. I sacrificed my stomach to preserve the remaining 50% of my sanity.
Nowadays, I am allergic to or intolerant of about 90% of the food available. I don't believe drowning oneself in sedatives and vodka is a therapy any doctor would prescribe, but it helped me survive several extremely volatile situations that I couldn't handle emotionally. Sedatives were too mild; I needed something to completely knock me out. (And no, I'm not talking about romantic relationships; there are much worse things out there than a breakup or a divorce.)

My lungs, liver, and kidneys are still intact. But it's impossible to ruin those now, considering I bypassed them entirely to go straight to wrecking my heart—which really should have been the last thing to go.

What did I get out of this? A great deal, and nothing at all. All that knowledge and life experience would only be useful if I had remained a functioning part of society instead of building my own little world outside the mainstream with a hand-picked group of people. As it stands, it feels like graduating with a degree in Mathematics only to apply for a job as a Chemist.

What I certainly cannot say is that I haven't lived. I lived to the absolute maximum for exactly what I wanted. I don't crave anything specific, but there is one thing missing. I suspect that when that thing finally happens, it will cut me deep, yet I find myself looking forward to it and arranging circumstances for it to occur, because I believe it will be worth every cost.

As for my lifestyle... don't mistake me for being antisocial. I'm not. It's just that a few years ago, I decided to stop entering romantic relationships altogether. I removed sex from my life and live alone—not to escape something, but to distance myself from the most dysfunctional element of my existence (women) so I can focus on the things that actually work.

What I am interested in is:
What have you sacrificed?
How do you deal with the loss of those things?
What did you gain by losing what you lost?
Why do you believe it was worth it?
How do you view your own future after everything?

I didn't intend for this topic to turn into a debate, though I have no objection if it does. Rather, I need additional perspectives on similar matters to compare against my own. Currently, I have nothing to measure myself against, and I suspect I am making a mistake regarding one specific thing—one that might cost me more than I hope in the end.

Kids have their own lives and futures because they're basically the essence of life, totally whole on their own. They need love and presence, not money and gadgets. We fall into this trap thinking we have to guarantee them material wealth by sacrificing our own lives... it's a mistake. Kids are perfectly capable of living and surviving on their own.

Ruining your own life just to compete or prove something to people makes even less sense. We are more than enough, complete and at peace exactly as we are—we don't need to prove our worth to ourselves like some kind of masochists... we already matter, and we deserve to live.

Escaping into dreams, fantasies, or just pure thought is just running away from reality. Sure, it feels nicer in there, but you can't actually live or survive inside your head...

Hurting yourself in any way is just a fast track for suppressed anger toward other people that never actually got released.

Life is biological, material, and spiritual—it's all about growth, staying positive, self-acceptance, emotional balance, and finding some peace and comfort.

Just ask yourself why you won't allow yourself that... why you want to destroy and erase yourself for the sake of some illusion of an achievement? Who taught you to act like that?

No, I’m not about to start changing who I am just for the sake of it. That feels too much like admitting I’m not enough as I am right now. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but nothing really came of it—at least nothing close to what I actually wanted. I truly believe things flow better when there's less resistance. Because at the end of the day, you always attract what you are, not just what you want.

redpilot37 said:No, I’m not about to start changing who I am just for the sake of it. That feels too much like admitting I’m not enough as I am right now. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but nothing really came of it—at least nothing close to what I actually wanted. I truly believe things flow better when there's less resistance. Because at the end of the day, you always attract what you are, not just what you want.

It seems to me that some people grow up believing they aren't quite enough, perhaps because of how they were raised or the specific environments they moved through in America; it becomes their entire reality. In many ways, we choose to play the victim because it offers a certain comfort, doesn't it? Isn't it much easier to justify any behavior if you can simply view yourself as someone being wronged by the world?
The only thing I would ever truly sacrifice myself for is my children; my immediate family comes first, while everyone else is secondary to that bond.
I tend to look at it this way: whatever you are genuinely seeking is actually out there seeking you, too.