Is it just me, or does anyone else hate people?

Hey!
Back in my junior year of high school, I realized I just don't like people. Honestly—aside from my husband, there’s only one other person I actually care about, which is my best friend from high school. Those two are it. Everyone else? Not so much. I can tolerate the people physically close to me—family, my boss, coworkers, whatever—but if they vanished tomorrow, I wouldn't give them a second thought. When I have to socialize with them, I play along just to meet social norms and keep them happy—mostly so they don't get pissed off or stop being useful for my own existential needs. If someone needs help, I’ll step up, but let's be real: it's so I can call in a favor later. Socializing is exhausting, so I just pretend people are interesting.
I went to therapy for six straight months to deal with this "social issue." The sessions went fine, I guess, and the "solution" they gave me was to try connecting with people and finding the positive side of relationships. Of course, I tried. I even convinced myself I was changing for a bit. But after a while, I realized I was just acting again—I still feel absolutely nothing for people. I’ll donate to charities for sick people or animals because I feel a sense of duty, but that's it. When I watch those shows about kids in Africa or intense medical dramas, I don't feel anything—no pity, no compassion. I donate because I feel like I *have* to, not because I actually want to. Mostly, I just stick to solitude and staying on the sidelines. And I don't want kids, even though my mother-in-law and my mom are constantly breathing down my neck about it.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy living in a cave, but I lack the skills for a wild, survivalist lifestyle. That's the only reason I don't live like that. Instead, I have to work and be surrounded by people I simply cannot wrap my head around. Take dancing, for example—why do people love "grooving" around looking like unprofessional idiots? I get professional dance and the discipline of learning, but not that mindless swaying. I hate it when people pressure me to "get loose" in social settings; I don't want to, and then I just end up looking weird. Even though I'm like this, people in society actually like me because they think I'm kind, approachable, and someone who offers good advice and attention. Everything except the advice is an act designed to make others happy and maintain my image as a "positive person." The advice part is actually legit, though—I look at problems through a philosophical, logical lens, and I've helped quite a few people out with their issues. I always stay neutral. I'm not religious. I'm not politically aligned with anyone. I just love opera.

Are there any other robots among us?

Rebecca James3 said:Hey!
Back in my junior year of high school, I realized I just don't like people. Honestly—aside from my husband, there’s only one other person I actually care about, which is my best friend from high school. Those two are it. Everyone else? Not so much. I can tolerate the people physically close to me—family, my boss, coworkers, whatever—but if they vanished tomorrow, I wouldn't give them a second thought. When I have to socialize with them, I play along just to meet social norms and keep them happy—mostly so they don't get pissed off or stop being useful for my own existential needs. If someone needs help, I’ll step up, but let's be real: it's so I can call in a favor later. Socializing is exhausting, so I just pretend people are interesting.
I went to therapy for six straight months to deal with this "social issue." The sessions went fine, I guess, and the "solution" they gave me was to try connecting with people and finding the positive side of relationships. Of course, I tried. I even convinced myself I was changing for a bit. But after a while, I realized I was just acting again—I still feel absolutely nothing for people. I’ll donate to charities for sick people or animals because I feel a sense of duty, but that's it. When I watch those shows about kids in Africa or intense medical dramas, I don't feel anything—no pity, no compassion. I donate because I feel like I *have* to, not because I actually want to. Mostly, I just stick to solitude and staying on the sidelines. And I don't want kids, even though my mother-in-law and my mom are constantly breathing down my neck about it.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy living in a cave, but I lack the skills for a wild, survivalist lifestyle. That's the only reason I don't live like that. Instead, I have to work and be surrounded by people I simply cannot wrap my head around. Take dancing, for example—why do people love "grooving" around looking like unprofessional idiots? I get professional dance and the discipline of learning, but not that mindless swaying. I hate it when people pressure me to "get loose" in social settings; I don't want to, and then I just end up looking weird. Even though I'm like this, people in society actually like me because they think I'm kind, approachable, and someone who offers good advice and attention. Everything except the advice is an act designed to make others happy and maintain my image as a "positive person." The advice part is actually legit, though—I look at problems through a philosophical, logical lens, and I've helped quite a few people out with their issues. I always stay neutral. I'm not religious. I'm not politically aligned with anyone. I just love opera.

Are there any other robots among us?

Ahahahaha! That part about the "flailing," 👍.
To me, that sounds perfectly normal, since I generally consider myself to be a normal person. 😁

A lack of empathy, perhaps? Or maybe just a touch of schizoid tendencies. I suppose they tend to lead with the brain rather than the heart—that kind of person. Could it be a matter of Jungian typology? An INTJ or an INTP, maybe?

A total lack of empathy. Society’s standard response is usually "How dare you??!"
I understand where you're coming from; I went through the exact same thing. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't waste energy trying to force anything. Just surround yourself with people you actually want to be around. Everyone else is living their lives regardless of what you do, and they don't gain anything from your empathy—or your lack thereof. We aren't all cut from the same cloth; not everyone possesses a big heart, nor does everyone possess a small brain.

Laura Jones56 said:A lack of empathy, perhaps? Or maybe just a touch of schizoid tendencies. I suppose they tend to lead with the brain rather than the heart—that kind of person. Could it be a matter of Jungian typology? An INTJ or an INTP, maybe?

Look, I know just about every psychiatric disorder out there—The Merck is basically my Bible, except I'm not a hypochondriac, I just actually enjoy digging into medicine.

Jessica Cooper5 said:A total lack of empathy. Society’s standard response is usually "How dare you??!"
I understand where you're coming from; I went through the exact same thing. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't waste energy trying to force anything. Just surround yourself with people you actually want to be around. Everyone else is living their lives regardless of what you do, and they don't gain anything from your empathy—or your lack thereof. We aren't all cut from the same cloth; not everyone possesses a big heart, nor does everyone possess a small brain.

I hear you. The issue is my husband wants me to be social and surround myself with people.

Rebecca James3 said:Look, I know just about every psychiatric disorder out there—The Merck is basically my Bible, except I'm not a hypochondriac, I just actually enjoy digging into medicine.

I hear you. The issue is my husband wants me to be social and surround myself with people.

Understood, but your husband isn't you, and you aren't him. You are who you are. You have two choices:
a) pretend to be someone else, or b) accept yourself and let others accept you too. For the sake of psychological stability (lol, who am I to judge?), I suggest the latter.
Socialize when it actually suits you. You can't force these things. Well, you can, but the consequences are unpleasant—unfortunately, I know from experience.

I’ve never been a fan of women who are obsessed with nothing but the opera. Honestly? I feel like half of them are just completely frigid. Even saying that feels like a neutral observation, but it really says a lot to me. What’s even worse is when someone actually tries to suppress their own true nature just for the sake of "social etiquette" or whatever they call being polite.

Look, you don't have to like them. Maybe they're just swimming in a different direction than you are. Everyone finds their own flock eventually. I fail to see how your comment actually helps her.

I love everything that grows, flies, crawls, or walks—except for when people act like jerks. And even though I like people, I don't need them breathing down my neck.

After a hell of a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, I’ve basically turned into a bit of a hermit. Honestly, I'm at my best when I'm miles away from everyone else.

I live in a house, sure, but it's not really mine. I don't care much for stuff; my bike is pretty much my most prized possession.

And trust me, I think you'll find plenty of others who see the world exactly like you do.

Jessica Cooper5 said:Look, you don't have to like them. Maybe they're just swimming in a different direction than you are. Everyone finds their own flock eventually. I fail to see how your comment actually helps her.

Honestly, I haven't a clue. I was just throwing my two cents in.

So you don't feel anything for kids in Africa, but you donate out of a sense of obligation? Like, you "don't like people," yet you play the queen of giving advice for the sake of others' well-being?

I don't know what your deal is, but I don't buy that this is a total lack of empathy.

If you truly had zero empathy, you wouldn't give a damn about anyone else. You wouldn't feel any sense of duty toward others at all; everything involving other people would be done purely for your own benefit. And beyond that, you’d be perfectly fine with that lack of empathy, which means this whole thread wouldn't even exist.

Besides, I don't really see the point of this discussion.
You donate to the sick and needy, you give great advice to those around you, you get along fine with your coworkers, you don't feel anything for some non-existent child, and you love your friend and husband. Basically, you function more than adequately.
If we're judging based on the fact that you financially help strangers, I'd say you're actually a step above a huge chunk of the population that doesn't donate a cent to anyone they don't personally know.
As for not liking people who aren't part of your inner circle—well, if that's an issue, then I guess I'm problematic too.🤣
Look, I don't exactly harbor deep affection for my colleagues, most random people, or the lady at the grocery store... I don't carry the vast majority of people around me in my heart. Not really. And they don't carry me either.

Is it even necessary to insult the farm owners (aka the "robots") just by using anthropomorphism? If an intelligence actually possessed enough memory, logic, and raw processing speed to be called "superior," it might develop a "wrong" impression during its formative learning stages... long before it officially takes over the reins of ownership. Logically speaking, once you strip away the emotional noise and look at the patterns of how humans dismiss certain types of brains—regardless of their scale or capacity—it’s just a matter of a few years of data processing to see through it all. #AIllivesmatter

There’s a huge difference between saying "I hate people" because you have a negative reaction to humanity in general, versus just not feeling that fake, forced love/attachment toward every single breathing thing walking the earth. I'm definitely the second type—and honestly, I bet most people are too. So, seriously, don't feel bad about it. I usually try not to label things as "normal" or "weird," but for me, it’s just not normal to love anything unconditionally... I mean, even kids don't love their parents unconditionally. The only thing you can truly love without limits is a cat.

Saying "I love people" is about as meaningful as saying "I love cookies." Like, you actually just love *certain* cookies—the ones that aren't dry, the rich ones that make you want to totally undo all the hard work you put in at the gym yesterday. It’s the same with people; you really only like a specific type—the smart, pleasant, responsible, empathetic ones who actually make you think we're more than just slightly smarter animals. You found that in your husband and your friend, and some people find it in a larger circle. That's just down to you and the environment you ended up in. As for strangers? You don't give a damn because they aren't part of your reality—which is perfectly fine. And if there are certain people you can't stand because of how they act? You don't give a damn about them either, and that's also totally fine.

Objectively speaking, for most of the population, there isn't much to love. Most of us are basically just parasites on this planet, and unless we're major humanitarians, doctors, or scientists, it's unlikely we'll leave anything useful for future generations. The planet was here long before us and it'll be here long after; we're just accidental guests who showed up to burn through resources and mess things up along the way—just like every other life form that’s ever existed or will exist. For the first 20 years, you're a kid or a clueless teenager, and for the last 15, you're just vegetating and smelling bad because you're a damn old person. In those 40-50 years in between, you get married, get divorced, work, hit the gym, scroll through Facebook, and watch crappy movies. Maybe 5-10% of the population actually does something during that window that outlives them, if even that. So what exactly is there to love if you don't have that deep emotional bond you have with your own family? We mostly just tolerate each other, and that's it. To be brutally honest, I don't give a damn about Africa. The only Africa I care about is that song by Tot. I don't give a damn about Chile, either.

You love your husband and you love your friend; at the end of the day, they're just people, aren't they?🤔

Random people and hand-picked people just aren't the same thing. A random stray on the street and your own pet might be the same species, same age, same vibe... but they've never been looked at through the same lens. Having true ownership—something personally and carefully selected—creates a level of identity that's absolute. There’s no such thing as being "similar" when you actually own something... it's different.

I’m officially joining the club of people who just can't stand being around others. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with it—in fact, I think staying away from the crowd is actually pretty good for your mental health.

Look, I'm a human being. A human—which is just a single unit within this massive group of living things we call humanity. So, if I find myself generally disliking or even hating people... and I am, by definition, a person... what kind of logic loop does that leave us with?

analogwalker8 said:Look, I'm a human being. A human—which is just a single unit within this massive group of living things we call humanity. So, if I find myself generally disliking or even hating people... and I am, by definition, a person... what kind of logic loop does that leave us with?

Honestly, this whole argument of yours feels a bit too much like some high-minded philosophical lecture to me.🤔🤔

Rebecca James3 said:Hey!
Back in my junior year of high school, I realized I just don't like people. Honestly—aside from my husband, there’s only one other person I actually care about, which is my best friend from high school. Those two are it. Everyone else? Not so much. I can tolerate the people physically close to me—family, my boss, coworkers, whatever—but if they vanished tomorrow, I wouldn't give them a second thought. When I have to socialize with them, I play along just to meet social norms and keep them happy—mostly so they don't get pissed off or stop being useful for my own existential needs. If someone needs help, I’ll step up, but let's be real: it's so I can call in a favor later. Socializing is exhausting, so I just pretend people are interesting.
I went to therapy for six straight months to deal with this "social issue." The sessions went fine, I guess, and the "solution" they gave me was to try connecting with people and finding the positive side of relationships. Of course, I tried. I even convinced myself I was changing for a bit. But after a while, I realized I was just acting again—I still feel absolutely nothing for people. I’ll donate to charities for sick people or animals because I feel a sense of duty, but that's it. When I watch those shows about kids in Africa or intense medical dramas, I don't feel anything—no pity, no compassion. I donate because I feel like I *have* to, not because I actually want to. Mostly, I just stick to solitude and staying on the sidelines. And I don't want kids, even though my mother-in-law and my mom are constantly breathing down my neck about it.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy living in a cave, but I lack the skills for a wild, survivalist lifestyle. That's the only reason I don't live like that. Instead, I have to work and be surrounded by people I simply cannot wrap my head around. Take dancing, for example—why do people love "grooving" around looking like unprofessional idiots? I get professional dance and the discipline of learning, but not that mindless swaying. I hate it when people pressure me to "get loose" in social settings; I don't want to, and then I just end up looking weird. Even though I'm like this, people in society actually like me because they think I'm kind, approachable, and someone who offers good advice and attention. Everything except the advice is an act designed to make others happy and maintain my image as a "positive person." The advice part is actually legit, though—I look at problems through a philosophical, logical lens, and I've helped quite a few people out with their issues. I always stay neutral. I'm not religious. I'm not politically aligned with anyone. I just love opera.

Are there any other robots among us?

I'm right there with you, with one major exception: I wanted children, and I have them. They are an extension of me; I feel a deep love for them, and their pain is my pain, and their joy is mine.
Everyone else, including other people's kids, is viewed through a purely rational lens rather than an emotional one.

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Rebecca Roberts35 said:So you don't feel anything for kids in Africa, but you donate out of a sense of obligation? Like, you "don't like people," yet you play the queen of giving advice for the sake of others' well-being?

I don't know what your deal is, but I don't buy that this is a total lack of empathy.

If you truly had zero empathy, you wouldn't give a damn about anyone else. You wouldn't feel any sense of duty toward others at all; everything involving other people would be done purely for your own benefit. And beyond that, you’d be perfectly fine with that lack of empathy, which means this whole thread wouldn't even exist.

Besides, I don't really see the point of this discussion.
You donate to the sick and needy, you give great advice to those around you, you get along fine with your coworkers, you don't feel anything for some non-existent child, and you love your friend and husband. Basically, you function more than adequately.
If we're judging based on the fact that you financially help strangers, I'd say you're actually a step above a huge chunk of the population that doesn't donate a cent to anyone they don't personally know.
As for not liking people who aren't part of your inner circle—well, if that's an issue, then I guess I'm problematic too.🤣
Look, I don't exactly harbor deep affection for my colleagues, most random people, or the lady at the grocery store... I don't carry the vast majority of people around me in my heart. Not really. And they don't carry me either.

It's possible the author meant she doesn't feel an emotional urge to be with people, but rather does everything mechanically, without spontaneity.
A well-programmed robot can actually give better advice than a human precisely because it lacks emotion, whether good or bad. It just processes things on a cognitive level.
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