The impact of burnout on the corporate world

I’ve been struggling for a really long time now with, I guess you could say, just not quite finding my footing in the professional world.
Basically, I’ve always been the type to stay in the background—super sensitive, maybe a little too much, but definitely a hard worker who was a total straight-A student back in school.
Then, after graduating from college, everything just kind of hit a wall, which honestly happens to everyone starting out, but it felt like such a disaster when I couldn't find anything in my actual field.
So, I ended up taking these random jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, but the real kicker was that I wasn't even doing great at them, which left me feeling pretty worthless most of the time because that constant insecurity just follows you everywhere.
Finally, after five years of jumping around, I landed a permanent gig, but even though there are some good things about it, I still can't shake this feeling that I'm just stuck where I am.
I’ve toyed with the idea of using my savings to start my own thing, but whenever I think about how brutal it is to actually succeed at anything, I just lose all my motivation.
Given how I'm wired, I honestly have zero clue what kind of career would actually suit me.
The thing is, I almost never speak up for myself; I just put my head down, do the work, and stay out of the office drama, but I'm not exactly the creative type either.
It feels like being assertive, having a super positive vibe, being an extrovert, or even being a little pushy are the only traits people actually care about if you want to be successful in life or anything else, really.

It’s hard to say—since I don't actually know you—whether this is just introversion, a lack of self-respect, or if you were simply born in the wrong country. Given the ambiguity, I'll offer a more detailed response.

If you hate your job, find another one while you're still at the old one. Most jobs are soul-crushing unless you actually enjoy the work—and let's be honest, nobody is ever truly satisfied with their pay or their hours; everyone wants more.

Work on being assertive. Even if we have certain genetic leanings, we're conditioned from childhood to act a certain way. As an adult, though, you can break those patterns and reshape your personality if you really want to.

People tend to gravitate toward positive personalities rather than negative ones. That should be pretty obvious.

I wouldn't call it gossip; most people just talk to kill time. They discuss coworkers because work is basically all they talk about—it creates this illusion of constant gossiping when, in reality, most people don't actually care.

If you don't ask, the answer is always no. It’s always been that way, and it always will be. People with low self-esteem don't advocate for themselves because they feel they don't deserve it. Again, I don't know you and I'm not trying to be offensive, but it seems like your parents might not have instilled enough of a sense of self-worth in you to allow you to be assertive.

If all of this bothers you and you want to change—not that I'm telling you whether you should or shouldn't—that's your call. There are books and exercises out there to help develop those traits.

So, I’m definitely an introvert, and honestly, people usually just call me super chill or laid back.
It always feels a little awkward for me when I have to reach out to someone to ask for something or offer help, though I know I'm definitely not the only one who feels that way.
If we're talking about how some people are introverts and others are extroverts—and let's be real, most of us are actually a mix of both—wouldn't it be absolutely perfect if we could all just find careers that actually vibe with our natural personalities? Since that's obviously not always how life works, I'll just roll with it and try my best to crush whatever job I've got.
It’s just kind of frustrating because I really want to go after my full potential and lean into my talents (since everyone is gifted at something!), but right now, I just can't quite get there.
I mean, seriously, why should I have to change who I am, isn't that basically just stripping away your soul?

David Mendoza4 said:I’ve been struggling for a really long time now with, I guess you could say, just not quite finding my footing in the professional world.
Basically, I’ve always been the type to stay in the background—super sensitive, maybe a little too much, but definitely a hard worker who was a total straight-A student back in school.
Then, after graduating from college, everything just kind of hit a wall, which honestly happens to everyone starting out, but it felt like such a disaster when I couldn't find anything in my actual field.
So, I ended up taking these random jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, but the real kicker was that I wasn't even doing great at them, which left me feeling pretty worthless most of the time because that constant insecurity just follows you everywhere.
Finally, after five years of jumping around, I landed a permanent gig, but even though there are some good things about it, I still can't shake this feeling that I'm just stuck where I am.
I’ve toyed with the idea of using my savings to start my own thing, but whenever I think about how brutal it is to actually succeed at anything, I just lose all my motivation.
Given how I'm wired, I honestly have zero clue what kind of career would actually suit me.
The thing is, I almost never speak up for myself; I just put my head down, do the work, and stay out of the office drama, but I'm not exactly the creative type either.
It feels like being assertive, having a super positive vibe, being an extrovert, or even being a little pushy are the only traits people actually care about if you want to be successful in life or anything else, really.

Is that nest egg substantial enough to allow you to live independently while spending your days reading psychology books? And I don't mean those superficial self-help guides, but rather actual academic literature?

If the answer is yes, then I believe the most prudent investment would be to devote six months to studying that material for five or six hours every single day—specifically focusing on a significant portion of it on assertiveness.

One can never truly predict which specific skill sets will prove indispensable in the American corporate landscape unless one possesses a crystal-clear vision of exactly what they intend to do. For instance, what if you spend immense energy mastering complex design software, convinced it is the key to success, only to realize later that your time should have been spent gaining a deep mastery of Excel or some other essential tool?

Of course, my advice carries little weight, as I myself haven't quite conquered the business world. However, consider this from another angle: people spend staggering amounts of money on private psychologists and various "professionals" just to have someone listen to them. Why would anyone pay fifty dollars an hour to a supposed "expert" when they could simply buy a book for $67 (not to mention the possibility of finding it online), dedicate themselves to it, and ultimately become far more capable of helping themselves?

The business climate here in the States is so unfavorable that, in my humble opinion, if you are considering entrepreneurship, it might be better to act as a sales representative within an existing corporation—working for commission while letting the employer handle all the tedious paperwork. The regulatory hurdles to starting a private firm are incredibly daunting; frankly, my stomach turns just thinking about the endless compliance requirements small business owners face.

Furthermore, I fail to see why there is such a frantic rush for every single person entering the workforce to launch their own company. It feels like millions of Americans trying to start millions of different businesses. Isn't that somewhat illogical???

You said you actually love the field. So, what gives? You should probably have some kind of... I don't know, direction.
No ambition?

David Mendoza4 said:I’ve been struggling for a really long time now with, I guess you could say, just not quite finding my footing in the professional world.
Basically, I’ve always been the type to stay in the background—super sensitive, maybe a little too much, but definitely a hard worker who was a total straight-A student back in school.
Then, after graduating from college, everything just kind of hit a wall, which honestly happens to everyone starting out, but it felt like such a disaster when I couldn't find anything in my actual field.
So, I ended up taking these random jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, but the real kicker was that I wasn't even doing great at them, which left me feeling pretty worthless most of the time because that constant insecurity just follows you everywhere.
Finally, after five years of jumping around, I landed a permanent gig, but even though there are some good things about it, I still can't shake this feeling that I'm just stuck where I am.
I’ve toyed with the idea of using my savings to start my own thing, but whenever I think about how brutal it is to actually succeed at anything, I just lose all my motivation.
Given how I'm wired, I honestly have zero clue what kind of career would actually suit me.
The thing is, I almost never speak up for myself; I just put my head down, do the work, and stay out of the office drama, but I'm not exactly the creative type either.
It feels like being assertive, having a super positive vibe, being an extrovert, or even being a little pushy are the only traits people actually care about if you want to be successful in life or anything else, really.

And then there’s negotiation skills. Honestly, you really only end up with what you actually manage to bargain for, which is a skill you definitely have to put in the work to learn.

I should add, though, that when you're dealing with the way things run in America, where there’s such a massive shortage of actual options, it makes negotiating from a worker's perspective incredibly tough. When the prevailing mindset is that labor is just endlessly available, your ability to negotiate becomes a lot less flexible.

The way you’ve described things just screams mediocrity to me. It honestly feels like that’s exactly where you’ve stalled out—stuck in this middle ground because you're clearly uncomfortable there. You seem to be searching for something, though you can't quite put your finger on what it is, and you're waiting for someone to just hand it to you like a finished product. But life doesn't really work like a vending machine. It sounds to me like you might have grown up in a bit of a bubble, shielded from how things actually function out here.

Look, you don't need to overhaul your entire personality. But you also shouldn't sit around expecting the rest of the world to bend itself to fit your specific mold.

It took a few life-altering traumas for me to finally figure out what actually matters. I had to be backed into a corner where my only options were to fold or fight back. I have a general idea of what I want, but I keep my methods flexible. My main priority is ensuring that every single day involves taking at least one step toward that goal, no matter how small. If you’re stuck in a dead-end job with zero future, stop overextending yourself. Dial your effort down to the absolute bare minimum required to stay off the unemployment line, then funnel every ounce of your remaining energy into finding what you actually want and building the skills to get there. Dealing with employers is always a power struggle; they will take everything you give them if you don't set boundaries. You have to win the mental battle first before you can handle it in reality.

I totally feel you—I’m definitely not assertive either. Honestly, it gets to the point where I actually feel embarrassed just trying to advocate for myself at a normal level—which, let's be real, is pretty much essential if you want to survive this absolute dumpster fire of a job market. It's tough to say exactly what you should do, but there's a ton of great NLP literature out there—maybe give that a look.

Beyond just mastering assertiveness and negotiation tactics, you really ought to focus on low-cost promotion and self-branding strategies. I am specifically referring to cold calling, social media marketing and blogging alongside those fundamental presentation skills—which, if you ask me, is where you should start. Is it truly realistic to expect an immediate, massive following of people ready to flock to a lecture hall just to watch a polished PowerPoint? Probably not. But still, acquiring even a small amount of that expertise would be wise.

Lawrence Wells said:I totally feel you—I’m definitely not assertive either. Honestly, it gets to the point where I actually feel embarrassed just trying to advocate for myself at a normal level—which, let's be real, is pretty much essential if you want to survive this absolute dumpster fire of a job market. It's tough to say exactly what you should do, but there's a ton of great NLP literature out there—maybe give that a look.

Shouldn't we prioritize mastering basic assertiveness before attempting more sophisticated negotiation tactics? To my mind, NLP feels somewhat superficial.

If nothing else, assertiveness ensures that our spoken desires and needs actually align with our body language. Is it not counterproductive to declare a wish with a firm tone while our bodies betray us, slouching inward because we secretly doubt our own ability to achieve what we say?

Nicole Barrett76 said:Beyond just mastering assertiveness and negotiation tactics, you really ought to focus on low-cost promotion and self-branding strategies. I am specifically referring to cold calling, social media marketing and blogging alongside those fundamental presentation skills—which, if you ask me, is where you should start. Is it truly realistic to expect an immediate, massive following of people ready to flock to a lecture hall just to watch a polished PowerPoint? Probably not. But still, acquiring even a small amount of that expertise would be wise.

I used to work in door-to-door sales and, honestly, I wouldn't touch that stuff again unless I was absolutely desperate, even though I somehow managed to stick it out for a while since there was a base salary plus commission.
As far as public speaking or presenting to a crowd goes, I’ve actually always been okay with that; I know all the little tips about body language and nonverbal cues, and let's be real, doing the prep work is basically half the battle anyway...

Thanks to everyone else for the comments!

David Mendoza4 said:I’ve been struggling for a really long time now with, I guess you could say, just not quite finding my footing in the professional world.
Basically, I’ve always been the type to stay in the background—super sensitive, maybe a little too much, but definitely a hard worker who was a total straight-A student back in school.
Then, after graduating from college, everything just kind of hit a wall, which honestly happens to everyone starting out, but it felt like such a disaster when I couldn't find anything in my actual field.
So, I ended up taking these random jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, but the real kicker was that I wasn't even doing great at them, which left me feeling pretty worthless most of the time because that constant insecurity just follows you everywhere.
Finally, after five years of jumping around, I landed a permanent gig, but even though there are some good things about it, I still can't shake this feeling that I'm just stuck where I am.
I’ve toyed with the idea of using my savings to start my own thing, but whenever I think about how brutal it is to actually succeed at anything, I just lose all my motivation.
Given how I'm wired, I honestly have zero clue what kind of career would actually suit me.
The thing is, I almost never speak up for myself; I just put my head down, do the work, and stay out of the office drama, but I'm not exactly the creative type either.
It feels like being assertive, having a super positive vibe, being an extrovert, or even being a little pushy are the only traits people actually care about if you want to be successful in life or anything else, really.

So, what's your MBTI type?🤔

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

casualranger2 said:So, what's your MBTI type?🤔

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Thanks for sharing this!👍

I ended up getting ISFJ, so I'm definitely gonna geek out and read more about it once my schedule clears up a bit.

David Mendoza4 said:Thanks for sharing this!👍

I ended up getting ISFJ, so I'm definitely gonna geek out and read more about it once my schedule clears up a bit.

Just Google "ISFJ," there's a ton of info out there. 😉

Nicole Barrett76 said:Shouldn't we prioritize mastering basic assertiveness before attempting more sophisticated negotiation tactics? To my mind, NLP feels somewhat superficial.

If nothing else, assertiveness ensures that our spoken desires and needs actually align with our body language. Is it not counterproductive to declare a wish with a firm tone while our bodies betray us, slouching inward because we secretly doubt our own ability to achieve what we say?

Me and assertiveness? Yeah, we’re basically sworn enemies. I wanted to say that NLP is simple—which is probably why it feels shallow—but let's not forget all those fundamental things we've totally overlooked because we were too busy chasing the next big thing. It makes sense, really. Still, this whole assertiveness thing is a huge topic. What kind of books have actually clicked for you guys regarding this stuff?

Every single time I take this test, I end up with a different combination of ☕🍿
.

David Mendoza4 said:So, I’m definitely an introvert, and honestly, people usually just call me super chill or laid back.
It always feels a little awkward for me when I have to reach out to someone to ask for something or offer help, though I know I'm definitely not the only one who feels that way.
If we're talking about how some people are introverts and others are extroverts—and let's be real, most of us are actually a mix of both—wouldn't it be absolutely perfect if we could all just find careers that actually vibe with our natural personalities? Since that's obviously not always how life works, I'll just roll with it and try my best to crush whatever job I've got.
It’s just kind of frustrating because I really want to go after my full potential and lean into my talents (since everyone is gifted at something!), but right now, I just can't quite get there.
I mean, seriously, why should I have to change who I am, isn't that basically just stripping away your soul?

It really comes down to what your end goal is. If you feel like your current job is stifling your natural abilities, then go find a role that actually lets you shine.

But if you're looking to climb the corporate ladder and you have real ambition, you're going to have to adapt. The market and the professional world aren't going to bend over backward to accommodate your personality.

mistydrifter55 said:Every single time I take this test, I end up with a different combination of ☕🍿
.

I don't bother with any tests at all.