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A Fresh Start

Started by mellowmarlin62 · · 👁 3 views · 6 replies

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Participants mellowmarlin62neonsailor26Jose Ward4Harold Anderson3Donna Gonzalez5velvetcobra65Morgan Chase5
mellowmarlin62 mellowmarlin62 NewcomerOP
1 message
joined May 2018
#1 ·
Hey everyone, I could really use some advice or just a place to vent because right now, I have nowhere else to turn.

Here’s the quick version of my life so far: I’ve never quite fit in. My mind is restless and hyperactive, which constantly drags me down into depression. I grew up mostly without friends or any real sense of community support. I’ve struggled with addictions, never had deep or intimate relationships with family or partners, lived in poverty, and felt a massive amount of frustration with life. Even while finishing my degree, I’ve been grinding through seasonal internships just to cover the bills—I haven't exactly lived a sheltered life. It's not that I lack social skills; I can network and communicate just fine, but I often feel too unmotivated and exhausted to actually build deeper connections. Right now, I’m operating like a robot. I just work and study. I feel like if I stop moving, even for a second, the depression will take the wheel and everything will go south. And trust me, it wouldn't be the first time.

Now, at 21, I finally have a shot at a real life. I killed it during my undergrad, and thanks to a bit of luck, I landed a job along with a full ride for a Master’s at a top-tier American university. There’s a great salary and a serious project waiting for me. It sounds amazing, truly, but I don't even have anyone to celebrate this with. I did this all on my own.

But honestly, I want to change. I want to become "normal" and relaxed, as much as that's possible. Right now, I'm the opposite: stiff, tense, and wound way too tight. I know changing who you are isn't about what continent you're standing on, but being stuck here in the States right now, I'm so buried in work that I have zero time for myself. Once I move, I'll be financially independent for the first time. I’m hoping to finally lose that constant feeling of barely scraping by and escape the depressing cycle of the American lower-middle class living on the edge of poverty. I'll have a solid job where I can actually use my talents instead of fighting against cronyism, nepotism, and a broken system that feels stuck in the past. I should actually have enough money to afford things like travel and going out—things that currently feel like "exotic luxuries" to me. So, does anyone here have a similar story? How do you handle a massive life shift like this? How do you make sure you grab the good stuff and avoid the pitfalls? I don't know if this ended up being more of a question or a confession, but at least I feel a little lighter getting it out. Thanks to whoever reads this!
neonsailor26 neonsailor26 Active Member
84 messages
joined Jul 2018
#2 ·
Honestly, I would give just about anything to be in the exact same shoes you're in right now!

Stop overthinking it and just go!

I mean, really—what is the absolute worst-case scenario waiting for you over there?

Not much, honestly... but on the flip side, there are a million incredible things that could happen instead!

JUST GO!!!
Jose Ward4 Jose Ward4 Regular
379 messages
joined May 2015
#3 ·
mellowmarlin62 said:Hey everyone, I could really use some advice or just a place to vent because right now, I have nowhere else to turn.

Here’s the quick version of my life so far: I’ve never quite fit in. My mind is restless and hyperactive, which constantly drags me down into depression. I grew up mostly without friends or any real sense of community support. I’ve struggled with addictions, never had deep or intimate relationships with family or partners, lived in poverty, and felt a massive amount of frustration with life. Even while finishing my degree, I’ve been grinding through seasonal internships just to cover the bills—I haven't exactly lived a sheltered life. It's not that I lack social skills; I can network and communicate just fine, but I often feel too unmotivated and exhausted to actually build deeper connections. Right now, I’m operating like a robot. I just work and study. I feel like if I stop moving, even for a second, the depression will take the wheel and everything will go south. And trust me, it wouldn't be the first time.

Now, at 21, I finally have a shot at a real life. I killed it during my undergrad, and thanks to a bit of luck, I landed a job along with a full ride for a Master’s at a top-tier American university. There’s a great salary and a serious project waiting for me. It sounds amazing, truly, but I don't even have anyone to celebrate this with. I did this all on my own.

But honestly, I want to change. I want to become "normal" and relaxed, as much as that's possible. Right now, I'm the opposite: stiff, tense, and wound way too tight. I know changing who you are isn't about what continent you're standing on, but being stuck here in the States right now, I'm so buried in work that I have zero time for myself. Once I move, I'll be financially independent for the first time. I’m hoping to finally lose that constant feeling of barely scraping by and escape the depressing cycle of the American lower-middle class living on the edge of poverty. I'll have a solid job where I can actually use my talents instead of fighting against cronyism, nepotism, and a broken system that feels stuck in the past. I should actually have enough money to afford things like travel and going out—things that currently feel like "exotic luxuries" to me. So, does anyone here have a similar story? How do you handle a massive life shift like this? How do you make sure you grab the good stuff and avoid the pitfalls? I don't know if this ended up being more of a question or a confession, but at least I feel a little lighter getting it out. Thanks to whoever reads this!

Troll.
Harold Anderson3 Harold Anderson3 Regular
732 messages
joined May 2023
#4 ·
Honestly, I’d give just about anything for an opportunity like that.
But let’s be real—you wouldn't find yourself facing a chance like this if you hadn't already put in the work and proven what you're capable of.
It’s definitely going to change you, though I suspect you'll still be fundamentally the same person at your core.
Just a slightly better version—more experienced, maybe a little more seasoned, and certainly more valuable.
Good luck!
Donna Gonzalez5 Donna Gonzalez5 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2018
#5 ·
Don’t just sit there waiting for the perfect moment—it isn't coming. It’s either now or never! Life has handed you this incredible opening because, deep down, you actually want to live it—so don't you dare be afraid to grab it by the horns. You have to believe—and honestly, that's your most vital tool—that you are going to make it, no matter how impossible it might feel right now.
velvetcobra65 velvetcobra65 Member
25 messages
joined Sep 2015
#6 ·
You actually have this chance to restart your life exactly how you want. To become whoever you want to be without all that baggage from your hometown or your past dragging you down. I guess when people are actually handed a real shot at a fresh start, they get this massive, paralyzing fear about whether it’s the right move. Just jump into the unknown; I'm pretty sure you'll land on your feet 👍
You're still incredibly young, and honestly, you haven't even finished becoming the person you're meant to be yet.
Morgan Chase5 Morgan Chase5 Active Member
53 messages
joined Sep 2012
#7 ·
So, how are things going with that tendency toward addiction lately?
We’re all rooting for you! You can see there’s a whole community behind you here.😉
I think you're going to find this journey quite fascinating!
Just steer clear of the junk—you know, drugs and all that nonsense—and everything should turn out just fine.

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