Am I sick? (Long post)

Melissa Sanchez8 said:Family—when parents pass away, who's stuck with their massive debt? Is it Saint Peter, the government, or you? If it’s the third option, you definitely have a say in how the money and assets get handled.

Health—you've really run yourself into the ground. If you actually want a better life, take care of yourself. Forget the gym and the muscles for a second. Your health is the only thing you truly own, and you're throwing it away.

Career—everything you've done up to this point hasn't taught you much besides some languages. Try putting those skills to use, and prepare to start from scratch with everything else. Are you ready for that? Honestly, maybe a total change of scenery wouldn't be bad either... even moving abroad.

Relationships—once you get yourself sorted, that part will follow. But you need to realize that not all women are the same and stop making the same old mistakes. And if you actually want a wife and kids, you've got to ditch the vices and the pills.

Just find some peace. Let go of those old ambitions and the need to impress people who don't matter. Why carry that weight? It serves no purpose. Your life belongs to you. You aren't living for others, you're living for yourself... and hopefully, you want something better for yourself than what you've had so far. If not, you really should.

Thanks a million....

1) I'm the one inheriting the debt... Do you think I actually have any legal way to handle it?
2) I know I do... I haven't touched a drink in a year, and I haven't taken anything except my prescribed benzos, which I can't function without right now, unfortunately... I don't know what other steps to take; if I just keep seeing doctors, I'll just end up with even more pills.
3) I'm ready to start from zero... I just hope someone gives me a shot... I'm not afraid to prove myself, I know I've got what it takes...
4) I'm also hoping I'll find someone.

I'm trying to let go of the useless ambitions... I built up some of them myself because of past disappointments... I only recently started dropping them. Every time I manage to, it feels like a huge relief... Hopefully, things will settle down eventually, because right now I feel fine during the day, but once I sleep, I wake up feeling like I've been totally reset.🤦

Please...

As far as I know, you’ve always got legal options. Just make sure everything is put in writing and notarized by a public notary first.
If they can't grasp the fallout their actions are causing you, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't take care of those consequences yourself.

You really need to get rid of those pills. Benzodiazepines? They’re basically addictive; your body builds up a tolerance and suddenly you're chasing higher doses, not to mention what they do to your brain synapses. Do a little digging on Google—I remember stumbling upon an old American study once that linked them to dementia and Alzheimer's. I can't find the link right now, though.

Regarding everything else—the digestive issues—try changing your diet and cutting down on stress. It wouldn't hurt to get some more detailed bloodwork or tests done to see exactly where you stand. Certain medications might help while you wait for the symptoms to settle down.

So, does this mean you're ready to toss pizzas if you have to? Or maybe drive long-haul trucking?

Things will improve. We all go through those dark stretches where everything feels impossible and life loses its spark.

Kevin Wells81 said:I get that nothing happens without faith... Every successful person I know has it first and foremost... I don't, damn... It's a huge issue...

Pitching myself won't be the hard part... Honestly, my only move is to clean myself up as much as possible and start knocking on doors... while I still have a few people left who'll actually give me advice...

I get where my parents are at... But I can't even help myself, let alone them when they refuse to listen... A few years back, I had a plan for the finances, but they wouldn't let me manage the assets... Even now, after all my mistakes and "good advice," they still won't trust me... The debt is astronomical...

Faith isn't always something you're simply born with. Sometimes, it happens spontaneously or is built through the sheer weight of life's circumstances.

Right now, in the very thick of this situation you're facing, that's exactly when faith is forged, strengthened, and grown. So, give it everything you've got—but also ask God for help and for His blessings upon you both.

Regarding those debts—there is *always* a way out. If you own a larger house or a condo, you could always sell it and downsize to something smaller.

I wouldn't advise counting on an inheritance while your parents are still around. You need to focus on your own path first. Just make sure they understand that if they expect you to support them in their old age, they need to take proactive steps now.
Did you know you can actually refuse an inheritance? In other words, you can waive your right to everything if the debts outweigh the actual assets.

Every single problem has a solution. Sometimes, help comes from the most unexpected person you'd never think to count on, or entirely new opportunities just materialize out of thin air.
You just have to be in the right headspace to actually see them—to recognize them when they show up.

You’ve already taken that first big step—just by opening this thread and being honest about what’s weighing on you.
Most people let their whole lives slip by without ever pausing to look back or ask themselves those tough questions... but you actually did it. Right now—at 29.
I truly believe you have more than enough time to get everything lined up. Just don't try to fix it all overnight—seriously, don't force it—or you'll just end up spiraling and adding more stress to the pile. Take it slow—one day at a time, little by little.
The key is leaving the junk behind—the bad habits, the vices, and those people who just waste everyone's time—while working just as hard on your physical health as you do on your life in general. It isn't easy, obviously—I think most of us are constantly fighting these same battles—so you definitely aren't alone here. You've identified the problem, so now just start moving toward the solution, slowly and steadily. 👍

Kevin Wells81 said:Thanks a million....

1) I'm the one inheriting the debt... Do you think I actually have any legal way to handle it?
2) I know I do... I haven't touched a drink in a year, and I haven't taken anything except my prescribed benzos, which I can't function without right now, unfortunately... I don't know what other steps to take; if I just keep seeing doctors, I'll just end up with even more pills.
3) I'm ready to start from zero... I just hope someone gives me a shot... I'm not afraid to prove myself, I know I've got what it takes...
4) I'm also hoping I'll find someone.

I'm trying to let go of the useless ambitions... I built up some of them myself because of past disappointments... I only recently started dropping them. Every time I manage to, it feels like a huge relief... Hopefully, things will settle down eventually, because right now I feel fine during the day, but once I sleep, I wake up feeling like I've been totally reset.🤦

From what I understand, you can legally renounce an entire inheritance, which means you wouldn't be on the hook for the debts either.

Joseph Bailey41 said:From what I understand, you can legally renounce an entire inheritance, which means you wouldn't be on the hook for the debts either.

The assets are worth way more... It's just just as hard to offload them.

I gotta admit, I’ve been running on maybe an hour or two of sleep lately... and anyone who knows me would tell you I don't scare easy...

But I am so TERRIFIED that I'll never be anything more than mediocre that it's actually making me suicidal.

And I can't get off these pills.... Total disaster.

rustymarlin16 said:You’ve already taken that first big step—just by opening this thread and being honest about what’s weighing on you.
Most people let their whole lives slip by without ever pausing to look back or ask themselves those tough questions... but you actually did it. Right now—at 29.
I truly believe you have more than enough time to get everything lined up. Just don't try to fix it all overnight—seriously, don't force it—or you'll just end up spiraling and adding more stress to the pile. Take it slow—one day at a time, little by little.
The key is leaving the junk behind—the bad habits, the vices, and those people who just waste everyone's time—while working just as hard on your physical health as you do on your life in general. It isn't easy, obviously—I think most of us are constantly fighting these same battles—so you definitely aren't alone here. You've identified the problem, so now just start moving toward the solution, slowly and steadily. 👍

It's been almost 3 months since this thread started.. Still flying, honey.

Kevin Wells81 said:The assets are worth way more... It's just just as hard to offload them.

I gotta admit, I’ve been running on maybe an hour or two of sleep lately... and anyone who knows me would tell you I don't scare easy...

But I am so TERRIFIED that I'll never be anything more than mediocre that it's actually making me suicidal.

And I can't get off these pills.... Total disaster.

It's been almost 3 months since this thread started.. Still flying, honey.

Regarding debts, there isn't much you can do. Personally, I wasted half my life and all my energy trying to talk one parent into being sensible about real estate that did nothing but pile up debt and prevent us from living like normal people. I tried to get them to start looking out for themselves, but I just burned through my youth doing it. I finally threw in the towel when someone told me straight up that they couldn't do anything because it was their property, and if they wanted to ruin themselves along with everything else, they had every right to. So, I left. I moved into a rental, got a job, and eventually took out a loan for my own place. Once I accepted that the situation wasn't in my hands—since I didn't create the mess in the first place—I could finally offer advice to anyone asking. Now, the property sits empty and won't sell, while I pay my own mortgage. My parent is in a nursing home because they never looked after themselves. Naturally, I have to help fund the facility financially. But I regret not realizing sooner that you can't force logic onto parents who simply don't possess it. You have to start building your own life; I did it just like thousands of others. Don't waste another second of your life or energy trying to convince them. As for the mediocrity, the failure to reach your potential, and the lack of drive... I'm dealing with that in therapy. Anxiety. For you, though, there's still time. Twenty-nine is incredibly young. You can do anything, you just don't realize it yet.

boldnomad45 said:Regarding debts, there isn't much you can do. Personally, I wasted half my life and all my energy trying to talk one parent into being sensible about real estate that did nothing but pile up debt and prevent us from living like normal people. I tried to get them to start looking out for themselves, but I just burned through my youth doing it. I finally threw in the towel when someone told me straight up that they couldn't do anything because it was their property, and if they wanted to ruin themselves along with everything else, they had every right to. So, I left. I moved into a rental, got a job, and eventually took out a loan for my own place. Once I accepted that the situation wasn't in my hands—since I didn't create the mess in the first place—I could finally offer advice to anyone asking. Now, the property sits empty and won't sell, while I pay my own mortgage. My parent is in a nursing home because they never looked after themselves. Naturally, I have to help fund the facility financially. But I regret not realizing sooner that you can't force logic onto parents who simply don't possess it. You have to start building your own life; I did it just like thousands of others. Don't waste another second of your life or energy trying to convince them. As for the mediocrity, the failure to reach your potential, and the lack of drive... I'm dealing with that in therapy. Anxiety. For you, though, there's still time. Twenty-nine is incredibly young. You can do anything, you just don't realize it yet.

I get the whole real estate mess... Usually, it's the people closest to you who screw you over the most. They already have, and the misery just keeps dragging on...
If I wasn't hooked on pills, I'd be out there, but right now? I've got no clue. I'm wondering if I should take maybe six months to "rehab" and get back in shape. It eats at me that I'm just average now when I used to be a total athlete... but that's probably just my ego talking...
Yeah, I don't know if 29 is old or not. I know I've been through it all, but I wasted half my life on stupid stuff... I've always had massive potential but never actually pulled the trigger on anything...
It even bugs me thinking about what I could've been with some really great girls I dated, but I always thought I could do better... I know I don't need a girlfriend until I get my act together, but everyone needs some kind of human connection, not just friends...
I have no idea. I'll try to make some sort of plan for the holidays, but I've never felt this aimless. I'm somewhere between full-blown depression and just not giving a damn about anything...

PS Thanks for the post 🙂

Move abroad. You won't be labeled an old bachelor, and you might actually land a Brazilian girl. 🎉

George Cook said:Move abroad. You won't be labeled an old bachelor, and you might actually land a Brazilian girl. 🎉

I don't feel old per se, but I honestly feel like I’ve only got about 6 or 7 years left of being in my prime and actually enjoying life, and I already feel completely burnt out...

Got a job interview on January 10th for a sales rep position in New York... I have no clue what kind of salary I'd need to actually survive on my own over there... probably like $5,000 a month? I doubt I'll even get close to that, and I haven't even looked into how work visas work...🤦....

I'm struggling with addiction and my health is trashed, and I don't know how to fix it without letting everything else fall apart...

Brazilian 👍 😁

Kevin Wells81 said:I don't feel old per se, but I honestly feel like I’ve only got about 6 or 7 years left of being in my prime and actually enjoying life, and I already feel completely burnt out...

Got a job interview on January 10th for a sales rep position in New York... I have no clue what kind of salary I'd need to actually survive on my own over there... probably like $5,000 a month? I doubt I'll even get close to that, and I haven't even looked into how work visas work...🤦....

I'm struggling with addiction and my health is trashed, and I don't know how to fix it without letting everything else fall apart...

Brazilian 👍 😁

Getting a work visa in the States is a gauntlet. Where did you even see the listing? Be careful—American job boards are crawling with scams.

Have you reached out to a therapist?

George Cook said:Getting a work visa in the States is a gauntlet. Where did you even see the listing? Be careful—American job boards are crawling with scams.

Have you reached out to a therapist?

I didn't see any ad... some director at a German firm I used to work with set up an interview for me... a buddy of mine is tight with the owner over in the States..

I know how the visa thing works because I spent some time working with pro soccer players who couldn't get cleared to play over there..

No therapist. I've just been super antisocial lately.. just trying to nudge some influential people here and there to remind them I'm still around... everything else is a wash.