Jealousy, possessiveness, envy, and insecurity...

How does one demonstrate to those around them—proving once and for all—that I don't have issues with these things, nor have I ever, and that they certainly aren't driving my decisions or any life changes? I’ve noticed that people in my orbit, including family and lifelong friends, hold a completely distorted view of who I actually am. It feels as though they are constantly trying to foist some sort of emotional burden onto my shoulders, a weight that simply doesn't exist because I discarded it long ago. They fail to grasp my fundamental operating principles; to me, the four concepts mentioned in the title are non-existent.
I recall a trivial example from perhaps fifteen years ago. For instance, if a girl I was interested in rejects me, and shortly after, I spot her at a Starbucks intentionally flirting with some guy just to catch my eye... I don't find such situations taxing or even impactful. I simply move past it, disregard the situation, cut ties with that person, and act as if I saw nothing at all. Furthermore, if a friend or acquaintance buys a brand new Tesla while I'm still struggling to land a job, everyone assumes I'm nursing some jealousy. Of course I'm not; I genuinely want him to have the best possible car... and maybe he can give me a ride once in a while.

The question remains: how can I convince people of this reality? How do I explain to them that these matters truly do not affect me? 😵🙂

Thanks for reading!

wanderingangler91 said:How does one demonstrate to those around them—proving once and for all—that I don't have issues with these things, nor have I ever, and that they certainly aren't driving my decisions or any life changes? I’ve noticed that people in my orbit, including family and lifelong friends, hold a completely distorted view of who I actually am. It feels as though they are constantly trying to foist some sort of emotional burden onto my shoulders, a weight that simply doesn't exist because I discarded it long ago. They fail to grasp my fundamental operating principles; to me, the four concepts mentioned in the title are non-existent.
I recall a trivial example from perhaps fifteen years ago. For instance, if a girl I was interested in rejects me, and shortly after, I spot her at a Starbucks intentionally flirting with some guy just to catch my eye... I don't find such situations taxing or even impactful. I simply move past it, disregard the situation, cut ties with that person, and act as if I saw nothing at all. Furthermore, if a friend or acquaintance buys a brand new Tesla while I'm still struggling to land a job, everyone assumes I'm nursing some jealousy. Of course I'm not; I genuinely want him to have the best possible car... and maybe he can give me a ride once in a while.

The question remains: how can I convince people of this reality? How do I explain to them that these matters truly do not affect me? 😵🙂

Thanks for reading!

And why do you feel the need to convince anyone at all?🤔
Don't mention it.

Daniel Kelly57 said:And why do you feel the need to convince anyone at all?🤔
Don't mention it.

It’s the prejudices and the way those close to me judge me that really get under my skin. As for everyone else, they can think whatever they want; they aren't part of this equation.

Why would you even bother trying to convince someone?
Honestly, having the ability to just tune everything out is such a superpower. I know from experience—I’m exactly the same way—and I am seriously so glad I developed that skill.

wanderingangler91 said:How does one demonstrate to those around them—proving once and for all—that I don't have issues with these things, nor have I ever, and that they certainly aren't driving my decisions or any life changes? I’ve noticed that people in my orbit, including family and lifelong friends, hold a completely distorted view of who I actually am. It feels as though they are constantly trying to foist some sort of emotional burden onto my shoulders, a weight that simply doesn't exist because I discarded it long ago. They fail to grasp my fundamental operating principles; to me, the four concepts mentioned in the title are non-existent.
I recall a trivial example from perhaps fifteen years ago. For instance, if a girl I was interested in rejects me, and shortly after, I spot her at a Starbucks intentionally flirting with some guy just to catch my eye... I don't find such situations taxing or even impactful. I simply move past it, disregard the situation, cut ties with that person, and act as if I saw nothing at all. Furthermore, if a friend or acquaintance buys a brand new Tesla while I'm still struggling to land a job, everyone assumes I'm nursing some jealousy. Of course I'm not; I genuinely want him to have the best possible car... and maybe he can give me a ride once in a while.

The question remains: how can I convince people of this reality? How do I explain to them that these matters truly do not affect me? 😵🙂

Thanks for reading!

The real question is, why on earth do you think they feel that way?
🍿

wanderingangler91 said:How does one demonstrate to those around them—proving once and for all—that I don't have issues with these things, nor have I ever, and that they certainly aren't driving my decisions or any life changes? I’ve noticed that people in my orbit, including family and lifelong friends, hold a completely distorted view of who I actually am. It feels as though they are constantly trying to foist some sort of emotional burden onto my shoulders, a weight that simply doesn't exist because I discarded it long ago. They fail to grasp my fundamental operating principles; to me, the four concepts mentioned in the title are non-existent.
I recall a trivial example from perhaps fifteen years ago. For instance, if a girl I was interested in rejects me, and shortly after, I spot her at a Starbucks intentionally flirting with some guy just to catch my eye... I don't find such situations taxing or even impactful. I simply move past it, disregard the situation, cut ties with that person, and act as if I saw nothing at all. Furthermore, if a friend or acquaintance buys a brand new Tesla while I'm still struggling to land a job, everyone assumes I'm nursing some jealousy. Of course I'm not; I genuinely want him to have the best possible car... and maybe he can give me a ride once in a while.

The question remains: how can I convince people of this reality? How do I explain to them that these matters truly do not affect me? 😵🙂

Thanks for reading!

But the truth is, it *does* affect you because you're worried about people thinking you *should* be affected. Why is that?

wanderingangler91 said:How does one demonstrate to those around them—proving once and for all—that I don't have issues with these things, nor have I ever, and that they certainly aren't driving my decisions or any life changes? I’ve noticed that people in my orbit, including family and lifelong friends, hold a completely distorted view of who I actually am. It feels as though they are constantly trying to foist some sort of emotional burden onto my shoulders, a weight that simply doesn't exist because I discarded it long ago. They fail to grasp my fundamental operating principles; to me, the four concepts mentioned in the title are non-existent.
I recall a trivial example from perhaps fifteen years ago. For instance, if a girl I was interested in rejects me, and shortly after, I spot her at a Starbucks intentionally flirting with some guy just to catch my eye... I don't find such situations taxing or even impactful. I simply move past it, disregard the situation, cut ties with that person, and act as if I saw nothing at all. Furthermore, if a friend or acquaintance buys a brand new Tesla while I'm still struggling to land a job, everyone assumes I'm nursing some jealousy. Of course I'm not; I genuinely want him to have the best possible car... and maybe he can give me a ride once in a while.

The question remains: how can I convince people of this reality? How do I explain to them that these matters truly do not affect me? 😵🙂

Thanks for reading!

If you ask me, when things don't actually affect someone, they don't give those things a second thought; there's just no reason to go shouting about them from the rooftops if there isn't any anxiety or discomfort bubbling up inside. But when something *does* get under someone's skin, it’s the exact opposite—it starts gnawing at them because it feels personal, and that's when people start asking questions, either to themselves or to everyone else, just trying to offload some of that internal tension by seeing what everyone else thinks.