I'm terrified of dying

The last twenty-four hours have felt like I’ve been dropped into some kind of parallel universe. I’m gripped by this overwhelming fear of death that I just can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try to snap out of it. It feels like everything I look at serves as a reminder of mortality. It all started about a day ago when the thought just drifted into my mind, and since then, it hasn't left me; it’s just a constant, haunting presence. I suppose I could say July 5, 2016, was easily the worst day of my life. On top of the mental strain, there’s this persistent, nauseating sensation in my stomach that makes me feel like I’m constantly on the verge of being sick. Because of that, I haven't been able to eat anything, as the mere sight of food makes me feel incredibly repulsed. I was wondering if maybe seeing a psychologist might help resolve this, because I’m fairly certain I won't be able to move past this on my own. My mind keeps flooding with these vivid images tied to death, and if this continues for even a few more days, I honestly think I might lose my mind completely. I would really appreciate any advice you all might have.

It is perfectly natural—given enough time—to find yourself contemplating mortality; eventually, it will come knocking

Charles Long14 said:It is perfectly natural—given enough time—to find yourself contemplating mortality; eventually, it will come knocking

I really hope my father's final twenty-four hours feel more like ten years to me.

William King5 said:The last twenty-four hours have felt like I’ve been dropped into some kind of parallel universe. I’m gripped by this overwhelming fear of death that I just can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try to snap out of it. It feels like everything I look at serves as a reminder of mortality. It all started about a day ago when the thought just drifted into my mind, and since then, it hasn't left me; it’s just a constant, haunting presence. I suppose I could say July 5, 2016, was easily the worst day of my life. On top of the mental strain, there’s this persistent, nauseating sensation in my stomach that makes me feel like I’m constantly on the verge of being sick. Because of that, I haven't been able to eat anything, as the mere sight of food makes me feel incredibly repulsed. I was wondering if maybe seeing a psychologist might help resolve this, because I’m fairly certain I won't be able to move past this on my own. My mind keeps flooding with these vivid images tied to death, and if this continues for even a few more days, I honestly think I might lose my mind completely. I would really appreciate any advice you all might have.

What triggered this obsession with death? Did you use any substances? Was there some major acute stress? ....
It sounds to me like you've fallen into a state of acute anxiety, possibly even a series of panic attacks. The human psyche sometimes likes to "pinpoint" a specific object of fear because it's much easier to handle than a vague, floating sense of dread. In your case, your mind has latched onto the fear of death.

I get it, man. I really do. I went through this massive stretch where I was absolutely terrified of dying.

It wasn't until I actually stared death in the face—twice, specifically—that the fear finally let go of me. You can't control it, you know? For me, the whole fear thing stemmed from the fact that I felt like I was living my life pretty... inefficiently, if that's even the right word. I was just scared that the clock was ticking and I hadn't actually *lived* yet. Like, what if I die and I've got zero real memories and nobody even misses me? That thought killed me.

After I survived that massive head-on collision on the interstate, things shifted. I started taking more risks, I guess. I stopped being so damn serious about everything and stopped treating myself like I was made of glass.

Then there was this other time—some kind of medical emergency where I probably would've kicked the bucket if my buddies hadn't been right there. It hit me then: you could just... stop. One second you're here, the next you just don't wake up, and you wouldn't even know it happened. Just lights out. No pain, no guilt, no regrets, no memory of anything. Just gone.

Sure, people talk about long, painful ways to go where you're lying there thinking about your family and your life, but honestly? It all boils down to the same thing—you turn off. And once you're off, you can't worry about anything anymore because you aren't there to think.

I have to say, those experiences completely flipped my perspective on life and death. Everything feels different now. I approach situations way differently, and honestly, it’s been liberating. Since then, I've tried a ton of stuff I never would've touched before and I loved it (and no, I'm not talking about illegal drugs, don't worry 😉), and yeah, I plan on doing it again.

So, bottom line—I understand why you're scared. I really do. But trust me, the fear is totally baseless. If you spend every moment looking over your shoulder at death, you're never going to actually experience anything. Your time is going to run out eventually, just like everyone else's, and when it does, you'll just regret that you didn't live without all that constant anxiety.

That's just how it is, damn it. Life starts, life ends. Nobody knows when or where. But don't let that stop you from making memories that stick, or being someone that people who outlive you will actually remember. 👍

If you're still feeling this fear and it's messing with your day-to-day, maybe you should talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist. Seriously. It might be coming from something deeper, and you shouldn't just let it fester. If you can handle it, nip it in the bud. 👍

Maybe you're just terrified that you've wasted most of your life on nonsense?

Dreaming about your own death... don't worry, it doesn't mean you're actually checking out anytime soon. It’s more about a symbolic death. Most people spend their entire lives chasing the wrong things or sticking to ideals that don't actually matter. But eventually, reality hits. We realize we were off track, even if we're too scared to admit it to ourselves. That's when the subconscious steps in with these dreams. It's basically telling you a transformation is coming. The version of you that lived for things that drained your energy and wasted your time is about to "die" to make room for something new. All those dead-end pursuits are finally ending so you can actually focus on what matters... (via http://staznacisanjati.xyz/sanjati-smrt/ ‎
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Unfortunately, things have taken an even darker turn for me lately, reaching a point where I can barely manage to function at all; I’ve almost entirely stopped eating, and I suppose I just don't have the words to truly describe what I'm going through right now.

William King5 said:Unfortunately, things have taken an even darker turn for me lately, reaching a point where I can barely manage to function at all; I’ve almost entirely stopped eating, and I suppose I just don't have the words to truly describe what I'm going through right now.

Look, just get to the ER, man. Don't mess around with this. They have to have an on-call psychiatrist there who can at least get you some kind of sedative or something to calm you down.

Jamie Ward92 said:Look, just get to the ER, man. Don't mess around with this. They have to have an on-call psychiatrist there who can at least get you some kind of sedative or something to calm you down.

I suppose I find it hard to believe that would actually help, because I feel like whatever happened is just permanently etched into my mind, and there isn't much way to undo that.

William King5 said:I suppose I find it hard to believe that would actually help, because I feel like whatever happened is just permanently etched into my mind, and there isn't much way to undo that.

Look, they want to help, that’s why they even call them "sedatives," trust me—it actually works. It worked for me, it's worked for millions of people out there. You aren't some special case, okay? Just get to the ER RIGHT NOW before you completely lose it.

Jamie Ward92 said:Look, they want to help, that’s why they even call them "sedatives," trust me—it actually works. It worked for me, it's worked for millions of people out there. You aren't some special case, okay? Just get to the ER RIGHT NOW before you completely lose it.

I can't exactly make it to the emergency room in the middle of the night since I don't even have a way to get there, but I suppose I've already made up my mind to deal with this whole situation first thing tomorrow morning.

William King5 said:I can't exactly make it to the emergency room in the middle of the night since I don't even have a way to get there, but I suppose I've already made up my mind to deal with this whole situation first thing tomorrow morning.

And how exactly are you planning to fix it?

Jamie Ward92 said:And how exactly are you planning to fix it?

I suppose I need an emergency session with a therapist by tomorrow morning at the latest, because I don't think I can handle another twenty-four hours on my own. I've completely stopped eating, I'm shaking, I can't stop crying... everything I look at just seems to remind me of death, and I'm feeling this overwhelming, indescribable terror whenever I find myself totally alone.

William King5 said:I suppose I need an emergency session with a therapist by tomorrow morning at the latest, because I don't think I can handle another twenty-four hours on my own. I've completely stopped eating, I'm shaking, I can't stop crying... everything I look at just seems to remind me of death, and I'm feeling this overwhelming, indescribable terror whenever I find myself totally alone.

Honestly? I'd actually suggest seeing a psychiatrist first. They can prescribe something to take the edge off—like anti-anxiety meds you take as needed—while you wait for the antipsychotics to kick in. Those usually take a few days to work; in my experience, it took about six. Once things stabilize, then you can start doing the talk therapy stuff. Just, seriously, don't let this thing take over your life. Tomorrow morning, as soon as you're up, go straight to your primary care doctor. Tell them it's an emergency and have them refer you to a psychologist or a psychiatrist immediately. They'll know which one you need to see right now.

Jamie Ward92 said:Honestly? I'd actually suggest seeing a psychiatrist first. They can prescribe something to take the edge off—like anti-anxiety meds you take as needed—while you wait for the antipsychotics to kick in. Those usually take a few days to work; in my experience, it took about six. Once things stabilize, then you can start doing the talk therapy stuff. Just, seriously, don't let this thing take over your life. Tomorrow morning, as soon as you're up, go straight to your primary care doctor. Tell them it's an emergency and have them refer you to a psychologist or a psychiatrist immediately. They'll know which one you need to see right now.

My doctor isn't in until tomorrow afternoon, so I'll head over then and hopefully get a referral. I'm barely holding it together right now; I really need to clear my head and regain some sense of control.

William King5 said:My doctor isn't in until tomorrow afternoon, so I'll head over then and hopefully get a referral. I'm barely holding it together right now; I really need to clear my head and regain some sense of control.

Look, if you're living at home, just tell your parents what's going on right now. Seriously. Tell them you need help before tomorrow afternoon. This isn't something to mess around with—getting help will actually make a difference. If you aren't living with family, then look, just grab whatever cash you can, call an Uber, and get straight to the ER at Cleveland Clinic. Just walk in, tell them exactly what's happening, and let them handle it.

Jamie Ward92 said:Look, if you're living at home, just tell your parents what's going on right now. Seriously. Tell them you need help before tomorrow afternoon. This isn't something to mess around with—getting help will actually make a difference. If you aren't living with family, then look, just grab whatever cash you can, call an Uber, and get straight to the ER at Cleveland Clinic. Just walk in, tell them exactly what's happening, and let them handle it.

I am living with my mom and I did mention the issue to her, but she doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously; she seems to think it might just resolve itself on its own.

William King5 said:I am living with my mom and I did mention the issue to her, but she doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously; she seems to think it might just resolve itself on its own.

Look, the call is yours—it's your life—but if I were you? I’d head straight to the ER right now. Just go. Do whatever you have to do, even if you have to scrape together your last few bucks to make it happen.

Jamie Ward92 said:Look, the call is yours—it's your life—but if I were you? I’d head straight to the ER right now. Just go. Do whatever you have to do, even if you have to scrape together your last few bucks to make it happen.

Waiting until tomorrow might be an option, though I worry about it, mainly because I'm quite a shy person, so I'm honestly not sure how a conversation with a doctor is even going to go.

William King5 said:Waiting until tomorrow might be an option, though I worry about it, mainly because I'm quite a shy person, so I'm honestly not sure how a conversation with a doctor is even going to go.

What are you even ashamed of? Seriously. You think you're the only person out there dealing with mental health stuff? It’s not like you're special in that way. You just show up, tell them you need a psychiatrist because things aren't okay, and that's it. If you can hold out until tomorrow, fine, whatever—but let's be real, waiting isn't going to make the conversation any less awkward tomorrow.