Are you guys for real?

feraljackal2 said:Beyond the moral issues being discussed, there’s another practical side to this that puzzles me. Let's say the average person has kids around age 30, and let's assume a life expectancy of about 75. That child—assuming they aren't one of many siblings—won't actually inherit that property until they're 45. And if the situation is different—say, my grandmother lived to be 95—they might not see that inheritance until they're 60.

That's a hell of a long time to be holding your breath, isn't it?

And you don't think there are ways to speed things up a little? 😁
A little bit of stress here, maybe slightly better nutrition there... plus, as people get older, their balance isn't what it used to be, their vision fades, and they become much more prone to falls. It wouldn't be surprising if someone ends up tumbling down the stairs just because a daughter-in-law decided to mop the floor with too much soap. 🙄

Yeah, I definitely inherited something from my granddad.
The old man was actually pretty loaded. He had three houses—two of them were right on the beachfront—plus two jet skis, a massive boat, a bakery, a cafe, some land, vineyards, and a retail shop.
After all that, what did I get from his estate? Just a lifetime supply of varicose veins in my legs😁.

Nancy Howard4 said:Well, look, since you're an only child, once your parents get older, the whole weight of caring for them falls squarely on your shoulders, and you'll likely inherit whatever they managed to hold onto (unless they were total jerks and left everything to the government, which does happen sometimes).
A buddy of mine actually managed to get both his parents moved into an assisted living facility while they were still relatively sharp. His dad had bone cancer, so things went south pretty fast, and he ended up passing away in the hospital wing of the facility.
His mother dealt with diabetes her entire life, and that was ultimately what got the best of her.
I'm not sure if you realize how much specialized care costs here in the States, but they were paying $3333 every single month for a private facility, and even then, it was actually considered pretty affordable.
Then, once the will was read, this brother of his shows up—a guy who got into a huge fight with his father and my friend like fifteen years ago. He’s basically a total loser, a thug, and a borderline junkie who drifted off somewhere and disappeared, and that's exactly when the drama starts.
The piece of work actually had legal rights to all the properties, but since he hadn't done a damn thing for them, my friend set up a formal support agreement with his parents back when they were alive. It turned into a three-year legal nightmare, and the lawyer actually managed to shut this jerk down by using some loophole regarding unpaid taxes and failure to provide care for his parents. Luckily, the judge had gone through the exact same hell with her own parents, so she ruled in favor of my friend and slapped that guy with all the legal fees, plus the lawyer hit him with a lien for his services.😁
Just imagine how you'd feel if you spent your whole life looking after your folks, only for some absolute parasite—even if they're your own brother or sister—to swoop in and demand a cut after doing absolutely nothing while the law protects them.
My advice? While your parents are still sound in their minds, get them to sign a support agreement that includes access to their assets; that way, you protect yourself in court from all those little leeches and parasites looking to grab a piece of your😉

Go ahead and be a sweetheart if you want, but when it comes to common sense and preventing someone from playing you for a fool, only a complete idiot would let those scammers win.

basically a 'deal with the devil'

Honestly, what kind of absolute circus is American society 🤦

silverhawk9 said:Honestly, there is nothing more distasteful to me than people who just sit around waiting for their parents to pass away so they can move into the family estate with their spouse and kids.😵 Look, if you’re single, fine—maybe it makes sense. But once you’ve started a family and gotten married, then just hovering around waiting for your folks to kick the bucket so you can take over the house?🙄 It’s completely baffling to me, and frankly, it feels incredibly irresponsible. After all, parents have every right to sell everything and leave nothing behind; they aren't obligated to pass the torch to you. And don't even get me started on the absolute gutter behavior of dragging families through the courts, contesting wills, and fighting over assets. If I ever found myself in a position where I was suing my own kin over an inheritance, I’d be too embarrassed to show my face in public. If they wanted to leave you something, they would have. Personally, I’m an only child, but I don't spend my time dwelling on it or expecting a windfall. I’m focused on building my own life and acquiring my own things from scratch.

Well, obviously you wouldn't get it since you're an only child. You'll never feel like someone is screwing you over in this scenario because there's no one else to compete with.

I guess if you don't obsess over your parents, if you don't push too hard, you'll end up with everything anyway. It's not worth the stress.

But then you imagine three kids being manipulated by their parents, being dragged through every emotional hoop imaginable while they're being mentally toyed with? Yeah, that happens. Of course, it depends on how much they allow it, but the excuse is always the same: "You aren't getting a dime."

I suppose that's possible, but not after five or ten years of misery. Everything needs to be crystal clear right from the start.

feraljackal2 said:Beyond the moral issues being discussed, there’s another practical side to this that puzzles me. Let's say the average person has kids around age 30, and let's assume a life expectancy of about 75. That child—assuming they aren't one of many siblings—won't actually inherit that property until they're 45. And if the situation is different—say, my grandmother lived to be 95—they might not see that inheritance until they're 60.

That's a hell of a long time to be holding your breath, isn't it?

That isn't even the main issue, really. If people just understood that it's a problem and realized they won't be able to do anything about it at that age, they'd just pass it down immediately.

My grandfather inherited his estate when he was 70. His mother lived to be 99—nearly a century—and only then did the will finally kick in.

But they handled it smartly; he just passed it straight to his father, so his dad got it around age 50. But even then, things haven't been fully settled yet because of some ongoing legal battles.

Man, so many of these old properties have multiple owners, and by the time everyone is suing each other and arguing over who gets which third, years go by.

I think a better way would be the direct grandparent-to-grandchild route, or maybe some sort of complex trust setup.

silverhawk9 said:Honestly, there is nothing more distasteful to me than people who just sit around waiting for their parents to pass away so they can move into the family estate with their spouse and kids.😵 Look, if you’re single, fine—maybe it makes sense. But once you’ve started a family and gotten married, then just hovering around waiting for your folks to kick the bucket so you can take over the house?🙄 It’s completely baffling to me, and frankly, it feels incredibly irresponsible. After all, parents have every right to sell everything and leave nothing behind; they aren't obligated to pass the torch to you. And don't even get me started on the absolute gutter behavior of dragging families through the courts, contesting wills, and fighting over assets. If I ever found myself in a position where I was suing my own kin over an inheritance, I’d be too embarrassed to show my face in public. If they wanted to leave you something, they would have. Personally, I’m an only child, but I don't spend my time dwelling on it or expecting a windfall. I’m focused on building my own life and acquiring my own things from scratch.

First off, you're an only child, which makes you somewhat irrelevant here; you can't really judge the dynamics of a household with two or more siblings.

2. As for this "waiting for someone to die" thing—you remind me of most people on this forum. Nobody actually votes for a Republican Party/Democratic Party split, yet those two somehow walk away with two-thirds of the vote every time.
It certainly isn't ideal to have two generations crammed into one house, but in your early years, it's actually a smart move. It's much easier to take out a larger mortgage when you can use that shared living situation to pay down the principal instead of burning it all on interest.

3. You aren't expecting anything? Did you mention that in the poll? If so, there are only two possibilities: either you have nothing, so you don't care, or everything is being donated to charity. Send me a DM; I can help you out with the data.😛

4. Accept the will as it is? Why on earth would anyone do that? If we are following the law, the law mandates a certain portion for the children. Or, put another way, why should I or my father (who went through this, and God help me, I fear I will too) settle for less than a brother who walks away with 98% of the estate while everyone else gets the leftovers? This isn't just about the money; it's about basic fairness, something that should at least exist among family. But again, you're an only child, so it's hard to grasp that perspective.

I actually really like my family; everyone’s incredibly easygoing about inheritance matters, too. They’re all such nice people, which is rare because usually, those are the first ones to start fighting once there's money on the table. I’m an only child, but everything I’ve inherited so far came from my grandmother—not out of favoritism, just as thanks for looking after her. My aunt had some initial issues with it, but after sulking for about five years, she finally came around. It wasn't like I was going out of my way to do anything special. Luckily, there was a clear will in place that specified exactly who gets what.

rowdyviper42 said:I actually really like my family; everyone’s incredibly easygoing about inheritance matters, too. They’re all such nice people, which is rare because usually, those are the first ones to start fighting once there's money on the table. I’m an only child, but everything I’ve inherited so far came from my grandmother—not out of favoritism, just as thanks for looking after her. My aunt had some initial issues with it, but after sulking for about five years, she finally came around. It wasn't like I was going out of my way to do anything special. Luckily, there was a clear will in place that specified exactly who gets what.

On a completely different note, if there's one thing I've learned about human nature, it's this: people almost always say the exact opposite of what they actually think. In my experience, the ones loudest about "integrity" and spitting on "crooks" are usually the biggest crooks of them all.

Samuel Sanders6 said:First off, you're an only child, which makes you somewhat irrelevant here; you can't really judge the dynamics of a household with two or more siblings.

2. As for this "waiting for someone to die" thing—you remind me of most people on this forum. Nobody actually votes for a Republican Party/Democratic Party split, yet those two somehow walk away with two-thirds of the vote every time.
It certainly isn't ideal to have two generations crammed into one house, but in your early years, it's actually a smart move. It's much easier to take out a larger mortgage when you can use that shared living situation to pay down the principal instead of burning it all on interest.

3. You aren't expecting anything? Did you mention that in the poll? If so, there are only two possibilities: either you have nothing, so you don't care, or everything is being donated to charity. Send me a DM; I can help you out with the data.😛

4. Accept the will as it is? Why on earth would anyone do that? If we are following the law, the law mandates a certain portion for the children. Or, put another way, why should I or my father (who went through this, and God help me, I fear I will too) settle for less than a brother who walks away with 98% of the estate while everyone else gets the leftovers? This isn't just about the money; it's about basic fairness, something that should at least exist among family. But again, you're an only child, so it's hard to grasp that perspective.

And let’s talk about that "forced share" of yours... if the owner of a property leaves it to the neighbor's cat or hands it over to Catholic Charities in their will, then that's just how it is. It's his property, not yours. He could have blown the whole place up a minute before passing if he felt like it. Or he could have sold everything right before death and spent every cent on hookers. Why should you get a piece of it? I'm just being objective here...

Paul White9 said:And let’s talk about that "forced share" of yours... if the owner of a property leaves it to the neighbor's cat or hands it over to Catholic Charities in their will, then that's just how it is. It's his property, not yours. He could have blown the whole place up a minute before passing if he felt like it. Or he could have sold everything right before death and spent every cent on hookers. Why should you get a piece of it? I'm just being objective here...

It's impossible to design a perfect system—nothing ever is. I know of instances where angry parents left their estates to the local municipality, leaving the children with nothing but the legal minimum. But in those cases, the property wasn't worth nearly as much as this one—where the kids spent their entire lives investing in and living in the house. Plus, this whole estate was built by a grandfather who surely never imagined his son would leave it to the city instead of his own grandkids, right?

Michael Fisher2 said:basically a 'deal with the devil'

Honestly, what kind of absolute circus is American society 🤦

It’s not even about being shady, it’s just basic protection, kind of like how if you're getting sponsored, you sign a prenuptial agreement to make sure the money I earned, my houses, and my cars from before the wedding don't get lumped into the marital assets if things go south and she tries to claim what she thinks is "jointly owned" stuff😉
And look, we’re all going to grow old eventually, and since our Social Security is looking pretty bleak, having something to sell in our golden years is the only way we aren't digging through trash cans for food

Real chaos happens when you've got ten different heirs fighting over a tiny plot of land because someone was too lazy to settle their estate or transfer the title to a single owner while they were still around
I remember trying to buy some property down by the coast and ran into this nightmare where the deed hadn't been updated since 1939, so I had to basically prove that most of the potential heirs were already deceased just to show that the guy I was signing the contract with was actually the sole successor, and I finally talked this 68-year-old man into just fixing everything and putting it under one name

That’s why it’s such a headache, dragging people through various courts and county clerk offices and hunting down old ladies in small towns to act as witnesses just to verify an inheritance, because American society honestly doesn't have enough common sense to leave things organized so that the next generation isn't stuck dealing with a massive legal mess because you didn't get your paperwork sorted while you were alive