Religion classes in school - Megathread

The main issue is that religious studies is baked right into the standard school schedule instead of being offered as an elective in a separate block. Plus, if you want to opt out, you have to file formal petitions during very specific windows. 🙄

My kid starts first grade next year and I’m honestly terrified they’re going to be isolated. We live in this part of Washington, D.C. where everyone drives around with rosaries hanging from their rearview mirrors. It's everywhere... there's a cross at the entrance of our local Elementary School, a cross in the hallway, a cross in the classroom. It’s just constant. Who even cares anymore? This religious aggression is creeping into every corner of society. It starts at the infant baptism stage, carries through the schools, and even shows up in hospitals where there are crosses hanging over the hospital beds. God, those crosses...
The "secular" state we live in is anything but secular.
If we actually lived in a secular country, an Elementary School wouldn't be named after someone like Stepinac, who had some pretty controversial views on women and marriage... At this rate, schools are going to start being named after people like Luburić because our administrators are basically clergy in what's supposedly a "secular" nation.
It isn't secular at all; the church's influence is spreading through society like a disease.

But hey, maybe it's not them—maybe it's us. We're the ones sitting around messaging each other instead of actually voting. (I do vote, and I was even at that protest for a secular state, but hardly anyone showed up...)

Some really interesting links here:

https://www.bitno.net/vijesti/svijet...oj-statistika/

I don't want to go off on too much of a tangent though...
Does anyone have recommendations for an Elementary School in D.C. that doesn't have a religious bias?

And what do the kids even do while they're waiting for religion class to start? There was once a suggestion that religion should be the very first or very last period so the kids aren't just wandering the halls aimlessly.

Please, let me know your experiences.

P.S. This thread has been dragging on for like 15 years!!

My kid isn't doing the religious ed classes. He wasn't even the only one, either—it started with five kids, then eight, and now more than half the class is skipping out.
I remember back when my friend's daughter was in the class next door, she was the only one left doing it. After that year, though, the floodgates opened.
Don't let them push you around, and don't let them intimidate you. You've gotta lead by example for your kids—show them how to actually live, how to hold their ground, and how to refuse to be backed into a corner.

Look, I’m basically just rehashing what they’re up to and where this is all heading, which has pretty much been laid out in the posts before your 😉

We’re going to see a massive surge in Christian iconography and religious studies in public schools as long as there are people interested, or even just parents who want to send their kids to class just so they don't feel like outsiders or get lost in the shuffle at school...
At the end of the day, it all just goes back to showing how much interest there still is in keeping religion part of the curriculum.

Richard Perez3 said:My kid isn't doing the religious ed classes. He wasn't even the only one, either—it started with five kids, then eight, and now more than half the class is skipping out.
I remember back when my friend's daughter was in the class next door, she was the only one left doing it. After that year, though, the floodgates opened.
Don't let them push you around, and don't let them intimidate you. You've gotta lead by example for your kids—show them how to actually live, how to hold their ground, and how to refuse to be backed into a corner.

this
I guess if you enroll your kid in religious education just because everyone else is doing it, you can't really turn around ten years later and say, "Just because everyone was smoking weed doesn't mean I have to follow the crowd."😂

I honestly didn't bother asking how many kids actually opt out of religion classes before enrolling my child in school. If they were the only one, it would have been much better for them; even back in preschool, they showed they won't just follow the crowd just to fit in. They actually prefer being the last one left in after-school care, for instance. There's no reason to feel isolated or pitied just because they choose a different path.

Turns out, about 40% of the students don't attend.

So, is it safe to assume people aren't actually taking Communion if they skip religious studies?

In certain neighborhoods where basically 99.5% of the kids are enrolled in religion class, you see people complaining—constantly—about the whole curriculum. They’ll moan about everything from the textbooks to the grading scales to the specific rules... but honestly, if it’s such a headache, why sign them up in the first place? Well, because then they wouldn't be eligible for Communion, and let's face it, that's a bridge too far for some families. If a kid doesn't get baptized or take their First Communion, Grandma or the mother-in-law will never let it go. It becomes this massive family drama.

And besides, First Communion is just so sweet. The little outfits, the gifts, the big family dinners... it's a whole thing.

But seriously, how does it work regarding Communion in areas where we actually hear that maybe a quarter of the kids aren't even taking the class? Do they still participate in the sacrament or what?

I mean, seriously, why on earth would a kid from a non-religious family even bother showing up to religious ceremonies?

Tyler Ruiz502 said:So, is it safe to assume people aren't actually taking Communion if they skip religious studies?

In certain neighborhoods where basically 99.5% of the kids are enrolled in religion class, you see people complaining—constantly—about the whole curriculum. They’ll moan about everything from the textbooks to the grading scales to the specific rules... but honestly, if it’s such a headache, why sign them up in the first place? Well, because then they wouldn't be eligible for Communion, and let's face it, that's a bridge too far for some families. If a kid doesn't get baptized or take their First Communion, Grandma or the mother-in-law will never let it go. It becomes this massive family drama.

And besides, First Communion is just so sweet. The little outfits, the gifts, the big family dinners... it's a whole thing.

But seriously, how does it work regarding Communion in areas where we actually hear that maybe a quarter of the kids aren't even taking the class? Do they still participate in the sacrament or what?

As far as I am aware, children can still participate in First Communion and Confirmation even if they aren't taking religion classes at school—please correct me if I've got that wrong.

I believe that in some school districts, they actually offer a way for kids to attend religion classes in the classroom during that month of preparation while simultaneously completing their church-based prep.

Some families in our local district are certainly believers, but they simply feel that religious instruction belongs in a church, not a public school building, so they choose not to enroll their children. They represent a small minority, but personally, I find those views perfectly reasonable.

Peter Rogers said:I mean, seriously, why on earth would a kid from a non-religious family even bother showing up to religious ceremonies?

Well, you encounter families all the time where the grandparents are the ones pushing for sacraments, even if the parents themselves aren't religious at all.
My godparents are a perfect example—they didn't have a church wedding, yet they still had their child baptized simply because it meant the world to the grandmothers, who made sure to emphasize just how important it was during the ceremony.

I'm not entirely certain of the specifics, but according to certain denominational guidelines, a priest isn't supposed to refuse a baptism if a family member requests it, regardless of whether the parents were married in a church or not.

That’s how it usually works, I suppose...

lonefox8 said:Well, you encounter families all the time where the grandparents are the ones pushing for sacraments, even if the parents themselves aren't religious at all.
My godparents are a perfect example—they didn't have a church wedding, yet they still had their child baptized simply because it meant the world to the grandmothers, who made sure to emphasize just how important it was during the ceremony.

I'm not entirely certain of the specifics, but according to certain denominational guidelines, a priest isn't supposed to refuse a baptism if a family member requests it, regardless of whether the parents were married in a church or not.

That’s how it usually works, I suppose...

We actually gave in to the pressure regarding our own wedding, which I honestly regret now—a church marriage doesn't mean anything to me personally. But, we did draw a hard line when it came to the kids. We didn't let the whole neighborhood or the grandparents dictate how they were raised; we just wouldn't allow that "well, everyone else is doing it, so you have to" mentality to take hold. I guess we don't have to be anyone we don't want to be! I expected way more pushback, but they actually stopped complaining pretty quickly. It just wasn't up for discussion, period.

Peter Doyle2 said:We actually gave in to the pressure regarding our own wedding, which I honestly regret now—a church marriage doesn't mean anything to me personally. But, we did draw a hard line when it came to the kids. We didn't let the whole neighborhood or the grandparents dictate how they were raised; we just wouldn't allow that "well, everyone else is doing it, so you have to" mentality to take hold. I guess we don't have to be anyone we don't want to be! I expected way more pushback, but they actually stopped complaining pretty quickly. It just wasn't up for discussion, period.

Exactly. They flatly refused a church wedding just because "that's what everyone does," even though they had received all their sacraments growing up and still attended church occasionally. As they got older, they simply realized they weren't religious people. 😁

I suspect they didn't care much about what the neighbors thought, but they did care about their grandmother—especially since she was a very practical, devout believer in every sense of the word. Choosing that path was really a gift to her out of respect. I recall there were only about five people at the christening, held right there in their backyard; there was no grand spectacle involved.

The child is in school now and doesn't attend religious education classes, and I truly believe they haven't caused any "harm" by that decision. Besides, Grandma passed away happy. 🙂

Tyler Ruiz502 said:So, is it safe to assume people aren't actually taking Communion if they skip religious studies?

In certain neighborhoods where basically 99.5% of the kids are enrolled in religion class, you see people complaining—constantly—about the whole curriculum. They’ll moan about everything from the textbooks to the grading scales to the specific rules... but honestly, if it’s such a headache, why sign them up in the first place? Well, because then they wouldn't be eligible for Communion, and let's face it, that's a bridge too far for some families. If a kid doesn't get baptized or take their First Communion, Grandma or the mother-in-law will never let it go. It becomes this massive family drama.

And besides, First Communion is just so sweet. The little outfits, the gifts, the big family dinners... it's a whole thing.

But seriously, how does it work regarding Communion in areas where we actually hear that maybe a quarter of the kids aren't even taking the class? Do they still participate in the sacrament or what?

Well, how could they?! They won't be doing the communion, obviously. Besides, how would my kids go to communion when they haven't even been baptized? 🤔 From what I understand, none of the kids in my child's class who skipped the religious ed classes went to communion either—though I can't say for certain since she didn't really care about any of it (and why should she, when her best friends are all skipping the classes too?). And clearly, there wasn't much talk about gifts either; if it came up at all, it certainly wasn't enough to make her feel left out.😁

lonefox8 said:Exactly. They flatly refused a church wedding just because "that's what everyone does," even though they had received all their sacraments growing up and still attended church occasionally. As they got older, they simply realized they weren't religious people. 😁

I suspect they didn't care much about what the neighbors thought, but they did care about their grandmother—especially since she was a very practical, devout believer in every sense of the word. Choosing that path was really a gift to her out of respect. I recall there were only about five people at the christening, held right there in their backyard; there was no grand spectacle involved.

The child is in school now and doesn't attend religious education classes, and I truly believe they haven't caused any "harm" by that decision. Besides, Grandma passed away happy. 🙂

To me, it seems a bit pointless to bother with a christening if you know ahead of time that nobody is going to raise them in the faith, or that they won't be attending church or other services. But hey, that's just my opinion... People could have tried to force it on me growing up, but they certainly won't be doing that with my kids.😬

lonefox8 said:Exactly. They flatly refused a church wedding just because "that's what everyone does," even though they had received all their sacraments growing up and still attended church occasionally. As they got older, they simply realized they weren't religious people. 😁

I suspect they didn't care much about what the neighbors thought, but they did care about their grandmother—especially since she was a very practical, devout believer in every sense of the word. Choosing that path was really a gift to her out of respect. I recall there were only about five people at the christening, held right there in their backyard; there was no grand spectacle involved.

The child is in school now and doesn't attend religious education classes, and I truly believe they haven't caused any "harm" by that decision. Besides, Grandma passed away happy. 🙂

Situations like this really get under my skin.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard some variation of, "Well, you don't believe anyway, so you don't care if you baptize the kid or have a church wedding—it matters to me."
Just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean I don't care about the topic. I care quite a bit. Nobody should be picking on atheists, yet plenty of people still pick on parents, grandmas, grandpas, and aunts who are believers.
Maybe I sound bitter because you mentioned Grandma died happy while I'm sitting here venting, but this cycle goes on forever.
Our family tried to pressure us into baptizing our kids, too, though we ruled out a church wedding from the very start. We didn't see the point in arguing or making a scene. We aren't believers, so we won't baptize our children. Consequently, they won't go to Sunday school.
When they grow up, they'll choose their own path.

There might be a way for them to just take religious education classes so they can receive communion, but parents would have to jump through a lot of hoops and negotiate with half the parish to make that happen. It's unlikely many would bother with all that hassle.
Besides, there's no communion without the prep work, so it wouldn't make much sense for a kid to take communion if they've never actually attended the classes.
Communion is basically the ceremony where you're officially welcomed into the church, so how could you do that without the foundation of the religious education first?

Oops, I guess I’ll just step back from this debate as a total hypocrite because I went along with all three baptisms just to keep my grandma happy, before eventually coming to my senses regarding religious upbringing and aligning everything with our family's actual values.
Sometimes you're still building your backbone on the fly, right? Or maybe sometimes people and their feelings just matter more than—well—having a firm stance?
Back then, I wasn't nearly as set in my ways and I didn't give the whole topic much thought, so we just did those three little ceremonies within the family circle, hung out, had a great meal, helped tidy up the church, and called it a night.
We aren't married in the eyes of the church, even though our local priest—who was honestly such a sweetheart in person—kept nudging us to just get it done alongside the baptisms.
I mean, he cared so much about it that he wanted to squeeze it in whenever.
But anyway, getting back to the point, we could look at it as if we bought them tickets, and if they choose to go, they can participate once they actually realize what's happening.
They’re turning into nature lovers now, while I’m personally thinking about basically "opting out" of the church, since I can decide for myself whether or not I want to be counted in the statistics.

You don't really count toward the official statistics unless you're actually baptized. Even if you list yourself as Catholic on the census just because you celebrate Christmas on the 25th instead of the 7th, it doesn't quite work that way. 😁

You really have to look into how that works, because if you ask me, the Church counts everyone who’s been baptized as a member—which, let's be honest, we actually are. We're on the rolls. It’s basically up to us whether we decide to keep showing up or just quit the club 😉
. That's why there's even a formal process for withdrawing from the Church in the first place.
Oh, and when it comes to the official government stats, it all just boils down to how you choose to identify yourself on the Census.

Peter Rogers said:You really have to look into how that works, because if you ask me, the Church counts everyone who’s been baptized as a member—which, let's be honest, we actually are. We're on the rolls. It’s basically up to us whether we decide to keep showing up or just quit the club 😉
. That's why there's even a formal process for withdrawing from the Church in the first place.
Oh, and when it comes to the official government stats, it all just boils down to how you choose to identify yourself on the Census.

It's a numbers game, I guess.
I feel like I'm still one of their little sheep just because of how my parents raised me. If they ever introduce a religious tax like they have over in Germany, I'm worried I might actually have to get moving and officially withdraw just to avoid paying.

I've heard people in Germany saying they pay taxes based on data shared from the churches back home, which seems to be why more and more people are looking into officially opting out. 😬