Confidence issues when it comes to the opposite sex

hollowscout57 said:Do you really have to play games? I don't think I do, though who can say for sure. A psychologist once told me I was being manipulative, but I never actually noticed that about myself.🤔 Seriously,

I guess everyone just sees you through a different lens.

That whole obsession with needing to manipulate and control things...
it can get pretty intense sometimes...
mostly focused on "i didn't see it in myself" type stuff; just being self-centered...

hollowscout57 said:Yeah, I get that feeling all the time, but honestly, since it seems to happen with pretty much every guy I get close to, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the issue is actually me rather than just them.

Something's eating at you deep down.
You a masochist or what?

ironrider11 said:That whole obsession with needing to manipulate and control things...
it can get pretty intense sometimes...
mostly focused on "i didn't see it in myself" type stuff; just being self-centered...

So what, am I just manipulating myself? What does that even look like?

Terrible avatar choice, by the way.

Yeah, if anything, I'm more of a masochist than a sadist, though I'm probably not even really that either.

I read somewhere that all those insecurities—picking the wrong partners, constantly needing validation, trying too hard to prove ourselves, or feeling fundamentally inadequate—all stem back to our early relationships with family members.
In other words, if we were raised in a healthy environment where our self-esteem was nurtured and we were encouraged to pursue our own goals and desires, we probably wouldn't struggle later in life to recognize when someone else's behavior is making us feel small or less worthy.
I'm sorry I didn't save the link to that site... there were a few articles on the subject that seemed pretty insightful.

neonmason86 said:I read somewhere that all those insecurities—picking the wrong partners, constantly needing validation, trying too hard to prove ourselves, or feeling fundamentally inadequate—all stem back to our early relationships with family members.
In other words, if we were raised in a healthy environment where our self-esteem was nurtured and we were encouraged to pursue our own goals and desires, we probably wouldn't struggle later in life to recognize when someone else's behavior is making us feel small or less worthy.
I'm sorry I didn't save the link to that site... there were a few articles on the subject that seemed pretty insightful.

I totally agree, though honestly, it makes me so frustrated thinking about how much other people's baggage can mess with our lives. It feels like we don't even have free will sometimes, like we aren't truly living our own lives but are just reacting to a mountain of leftovers from a past that happened decades ago.

Thomas Nelson25 said:I've noticed that women with lower self-esteem or a lot of hang-ups tend to lean more into those power games—just draining a guy's energy constantly. It makes sense if you think about it.

Basically, more stable women don't manipulate much, and if they do, it's usually for a specific reason... whereas for the other group, it's just a reflection of their own internal mess.

Why do you think some guys might see you differently than how things used to be? Maybe it’s just the vibe you're putting out or how you carry yourself... what kind of love are you actually looking for?

Ugh, I’ve definitely felt this one personally.😁