Dealing with anxiety and panic attacks at work

Larry Campbell said:The problem is that this constant hiding is killing me. Realistically, I know people barely notice, but I’m constantly plagued by the fear that someone *will* see I'm not okay, and then what? I can't exactly call out of work every single day. I really need to find a way to "dial down" the intensity of worrying about who is saying what or what they might think... maybe if I could do that, I might actually find some peace of mind.

I was actually reading Elaine Aron's book, "Highly Sensitive People," and she touches on this exact dilemma—that nagging question of, "Do other people actually realize I'm struggling?" It turns out that for almost all the participants in her studies, the answer was a resounding YES, even though the research showed that in about 90% of cases, people around them had absolutely no clue they were having a hard time mentally. They didn't pick up on the shyness or the anxiety at all. She suggests that this specific worry is one of those major obsessions that Highly Sensitive People tend to get caught up in. Honestly, a good workaround is often just to lean into physical excuses—saying things like, "Oh, my blood pressure is acting up today," or "I'm just feeling a bit under the weather"—because people are generally much more sympathetic toward minor physical ailments than they are toward mental ones. And, of course, if you have that particular sense of humor, sometimes you can just laugh your way through a messy situation to take the edge off.

So, that’s the whole kicker right there—what if people actually notice I’m freaking out? What if this time it just goes south completely and I lose all control? Like, what if I totally snap and can't even function because my heart is hammering against my ribs and my hands won't stop shaking?
Honestly, that is the exact question every single person dealing with panic attacks asks themselves.
But here’s the truth: NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. ZERO. NADA.
It always starts with the thoughts first, then the physical stuff kicks in, and then your brain starts spiraling—you start thinking that if your body isn't listening to you, your mind is going to check out too, and you'll end up looking like a total mess in front of everyone.
Once you wrap your head around how that cycle works and actually REWIRE THOSE THOUGHTS, everything starts to settle back down.
Basically, the second those initial thoughts and physical jitters start creeping up, you've gotta pause and tell that fear straight up: "Nope, not today! I'm calling the shots now," and just watch the anxiety start to fade.
You really have to practice this, though. It might click right away, or it might take a few tries. Sometimes it’ll try to creep back in, but eventually, the fear realizes there's nothing left for it to feed on here since we aren't giving it any traction.
And look, just knowing this intellectually isn't enough—you actually have to put in the work and practice it.

The real issue here is that you can't just solve this through sheer willpower—it’s not like I can just tell myself, "Get a grip, stop thinking these things!"—because if you could simply force thoughts away, mental health struggles wouldn't even exist in the first place.

dustytinker52 said:The real issue here is that you can't just solve this through sheer willpower—it’s not like I can just tell myself, "Get a grip, stop thinking these things!"—because if you could simply force thoughts away, mental health struggles wouldn't even exist in the first place.

Look, if you want to actually kick those fears to the curb, you need a real strategy—you’ve gotta do the actual work on yourself. Just basic talk therapy isn't always enough.
Facing your fears head-on is really the only way to finally be free of them.
But before you can even tackle them, you have to "get your headspace organized" first.
Once it finally clicks that *you* are the one in the driver's seat—not those anxious little voices—that's when the real healing starts.
It might take some people a lifetime and others a bit less, but honestly, it’s the only way to beat anxiety. EVERYTHING starts in your mind.

dustytinker52 said:The real issue here is that you can't just solve this through sheer willpower—it’s not like I can just tell myself, "Get a grip, stop thinking these things!"—because if you could simply force thoughts away, mental health struggles wouldn't even exist in the first place.

I once dealt with a panic attack myself—and believe me, it is no laughing matter.

I wouldn't go so far as to say everything works exactly the way you described, but you really can't expect
an overnight miracle from all that hard work... it's more about taking it one tiny step at a time... just one little inch at a time...

Larry Lewis said:I once dealt with a panic attack myself—and believe me, it is no laughing matter.

I wouldn't go so far as to say everything works exactly the way you described, but you really can't expect
an overnight miracle from all that hard work... it's more about taking it one tiny step at a time... just one little inch at a time...

That’s exactly my point—which is why I mentioned how much intensive therapy and deep spiritual self-work are absolutely necessary...

Roger Scott17 said:Look, if you want to actually kick those fears to the curb, you need a real strategy—you’ve gotta do the actual work on yourself. Just basic talk therapy isn't always enough.
Facing your fears head-on is really the only way to finally be free of them.
But before you can even tackle them, you have to "get your headspace organized" first.
Once it finally clicks that *you* are the one in the driver's seat—not those anxious little voices—that's when the real healing starts.
It might take some people a lifetime and others a bit less, but honestly, it’s the only way to beat anxiety. EVERYTHING starts in your mind.

You reach this point through therapy and dedicated self-work too... I completely agree with that last part, because that’s exactly how I managed to overcome my agoraphobia and social phobia. You have to rebuild that core sense of self-confidence and feel that you are safe and protected (whether that's through logic or even a higher power, if that helps), believing that nothing bad is going to happen. It’s a long, grueling process, but it's something you have to do for yourself; nobody else can do the heavy lifting for you.

dustytinker52 said:You reach this point through therapy and dedicated self-work too... I completely agree with that last part, because that’s exactly how I managed to overcome my agoraphobia and social phobia. You have to rebuild that core sense of self-confidence and feel that you are safe and protected (whether that's through logic or even a higher power, if that helps), believing that nothing bad is going to happen. It’s a long, grueling process, but it's something you have to do for yourself; nobody else can do the heavy lifting for you.

I know, believe me, I know. At the end of the day, the weight falls entirely on your shoulders. I’m not saying psychotherapy can't work wonders—it absolutely can—but there's a catch. When you're finally left alone with your thoughts, everything is back on you, and you need an immense amount of strength, willpower, and courage to face it. You have to give yourself grace and time. A problem you've been battling for ten years isn't going to vanish overnight.

Larry Campbell said:I know, believe me, I know. At the end of the day, the weight falls entirely on your shoulders. I’m not saying psychotherapy can't work wonders—it absolutely can—but there's a catch. When you're finally left alone with your thoughts, everything is back on you, and you need an immense amount of strength, willpower, and courage to face it. You have to give yourself grace and time. A problem you've been battling for ten years isn't going to vanish overnight.

You're spot on; I think, deep down, we're all essentially saying the exact same thing...😁

I guess the trick is just keeping your brain so busy with stuff that you don't even have time to sit around thinking about it. It isn't easy, honestly, but time helps... and eventually, you just have to face whatever fears are bugging you head-on.