Drinking and social anxiety

Hello everyone! I have been going through some incredibly difficult times lately, so I am reaching out because I would truly value some advice from this community. I see many people here dealing with similar struggles.
Since graduating high school, I’ve occasionally had a couple of drinks with friends on the weekends—it’s just how things work here in the States. Once I started college, those rituals became much more frequent. During that time, I also developed a significant social phobia, which I have been trying to manage as best I can. I have attended therapy sessions, and we decided together to avoid medication. While therapy helped immensely in other areas of my life, the social anxiety regarding outings and being in large crowds remains. Consequently, every single time I go out or visit a club, I feel compelled to drink at home or with my group first just to relax. Otherwise, I become incredibly nervous and simply cannot handle being out. My neck aches, my palms sweat, I turn red, I stutter, and my heart races. It is the classic presentation of social phobia. When I was in a relationship, my boyfriend would go out with me often; since he doesn't drink, having him by my side allowed me to stop drinking and smoking entirely. I might have had one beer. However, after our breakup—let's just say it involved another woman and I couldn't move past it—I began feeling extremely insecure again and returned to drinking. I never drink to the point of acting foolishly, but I do get drunk, and I am fully aware of my intoxication. I am acutely aware that I rely on alcohol to mask the uncomfortable physical symptoms of my social anxiety. Furthermore, the hangovers the next day are absolutely dreadful.
I am exceptionally tall and quite attractive, which presents its own set of challenges. It deeply bothers me when everyone stares at me the moment I walk into a club, and drinking is the only way I can cope with that attention. I adore glamorous dresses and love dressing up for myself, but the constant staring is unsettling. I find it intrusive when people approach me, especially men, and I felt most secure when I had a partner by my side.
Typically, I will have about four ounces of gin or vodka before heading out, or perhaps two beers, but once I am out, I struggle to find my limit. My goal is to stop completely and go out sober, but the culture here is such that everyone is drinking, and you are constantly being offered a drink. Currently, I am single and looking for a meaningful relationship with a decent man, which adds to my frustration. Seeing everyone around me indulging in this lifestyle triggers my urge to drink. It is obvious that this has become a pervasive culture where you can hardly encounter anyone who isn't drinking.
I live alone and work, and while I have a circle of friends, our entire social life revolves around going out. I have known them for a long time, yet I am struggling to find new people who are interested in anything more substantial than clubbing.
In summary, I am wondering if anyone else has faced this exact situation. I am 26 years old, and I have been living this way since I was 20. I am adamant about not taking antidepressants or other medications because the side effects are too severe for me, yet I am at a loss for how to handle this social phobia that is dangerously spiraling into alcoholism. During the week, I am completely occupied with my job, so I don't think about it much, and I don't frequent social venues often. But when the weekend arrives... People claim a single beer helps calm the nerves, but I would prefer to eliminate it entirely. I actually despise alcohol, yet I continue to drink it.

I don't really have any profound wisdom to offer here, but maybe try shifting your focus outward instead of spiraling inward. For instance, if you're stuck in your own head worrying about what you're wearing or whether people are staring at you—just stop. Instead, take a look at what everyone else is wearing, or lose yourself in the music, or just observe the room around you. Try focusing entirely on the person you're actually talking to. I guess just finding something external to latch onto helps keep your attention from constantly looping back inside your own skull...

Why not just go see a professional? Social anxiety is a serious disorder, and it’s much better to deal with it early on rather than dragging out the symptoms for years... because it isn't just going to vanish on its own.

.....Look, you probably already know that nobody can force medication on you if you aren't on board (they might suggest something for calming down, at most), but we can actually talk through things and dig into what's causing this behavior in the first place... If social anxiety were cured just by pumping people full of pills, nobody would have an issue with it. Besides, hitting the bottle isn't any healthier or more effective than medication anyway.

.....To actually uproot these issues, you need long-term, deep work on yourself. The sooner you start, the less chance this behavior has to take hold of your life.