How to live with scars?

I’ve actually got a little smiley face carved into my hand right now. But since I know exactly what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, there won't be any permanent scarring to worry about in the long run.

Larry Lewis said:and yet, here you are, poking at people struggling with their psychology—people who might not even have the mental capacity
trenutno vidjeti neke stvar?

IF I were doing that—which I am certainly not—then there would be no harm done because, as you put it, they "aren't capable of seeing" anything. 🙂 In other words, how exactly am I supposed to provoke someone who lacks the capacity for awareness in the first place..?

I’m actually gesturing toward general ignorance... social mass apathy... the herd mentality... 🙂 .. or perhaps those individuals who are either too bored with their own lives or simply lack the backbone to look in the mirror, so instead they project everything onto others and criticize, while failing to see themselves .. acting as if they aren't even part of this earthly existence.

p.s. I suppose anything can be interpreted as a provocation .. especially if one has the inclination to see it that way.🧐

Anthony Perez28 said:🤣

Give it a rest... this forum practically raised him, 😬 so why don't you just leave him alone, 🙂 Lawrence Bailey77😁

ban Anthony Perez28 😢 .. thanks for the permission to exist 😍 lol, honestly, I wasn't even aware we knew each other quite this well ..

.. I hadn't realized until this moment that I had been cured, let alone that I was ever ill.. or that this forum was my physician .. ?!

.. well, since I'm already here, I might as well join the stage production and play the role I never asked for and certainly didn't seek out, though I suppose when "cruel life" forces a part upon you (not including those people who are just bored and toy with others' problems, whether real or imagined, just to make their own lives more interesting) .. one should probably play it as convincingly as possible, shouldn't they? .. and then what .. you wait for the critical reaction .. and then .. well, that's just the role, lol, it's not the meaning of life.

what do you think, Altec .. am I being ungrateful .. to this "forum" which supposedly cured me 😉 and this is how I repay it .. I'm just terrible .. and apparently, we all know each other so intimately .. as if we grew up together on the same street, lol.😵

A little dose of reality wouldn't hurt. Good luck.👍

Lawrence Bailey77 said:IF I were doing that—which I am certainly not—then there would be no harm done because, as you put it, they "aren't capable of seeing" anything. 🙂 In other words, how exactly am I supposed to provoke someone who lacks the capacity for awareness in the first place..?

I’m actually gesturing toward general ignorance... social mass apathy... the herd mentality... 🙂 .. or perhaps those individuals who are either too bored with their own lives or simply lack the backbone to look in the mirror, so instead they project everything onto others and criticize, while failing to see themselves .. acting as if they aren't even part of this earthly existence.

p.s. I suppose anything can be interpreted as a provocation .. especially if one has the inclination to see it that way.🧐

ban Anthony Perez28 😢 .. thanks for the permission to exist 😍 lol, honestly, I wasn't even aware we knew each other quite this well ..

.. I hadn't realized until this moment that I had been cured, let alone that I was ever ill.. or that this forum was my physician .. ?!

.. well, since I'm already here, I might as well join the stage production and play the role I never asked for and certainly didn't seek out, though I suppose when "cruel life" forces a part upon you (not including those people who are just bored and toy with others' problems, whether real or imagined, just to make their own lives more interesting) .. one should probably play it as convincingly as possible, shouldn't they? .. and then what .. you wait for the critical reaction .. and then .. well, that's just the role, lol, it's not the meaning of life.

what do you think, Altec .. am I being ungrateful .. to this "forum" which supposedly cured me 😉 and this is how I repay it .. I'm just terrible .. and apparently, we all know each other so intimately .. as if we grew up together on the same street, lol.😵

A little dose of reality wouldn't hurt. Good luck.👍

All that "minor logic" you're clinging to... it just kills the whole thing. You take an argument built on pure reason and let one tiny little flaw ruin the entire structure... it's pathetic...
When it comes to maintaining the status quo... you just don't even let them suspect a thing. You definitely shouldn't be breathing a single word against it... 😬
Let's talk about cutting, maiming, and dragging... Nonexistent...... heads up... who's actually losing it?
If the goal is to fix things... fine. But what's the point of asking that half-baked question afterward? What about all the unintended fallout...
Every action has a reaction, right? That whole cause-and-effect thing... People always talk about "saying hop then jumping" or all those old proverbs about consequences... It's basically just physics applied to life...
Is the whole point of all this constant outrage just to play the victim... like, "oh woe is me, how am I supposed to survive this"...?

Brutalis said:I did the same thing. Made them back in March. Always wanted some badass ink, just couldn't find any inspiration for what to actually get. Was going through a rough patch that day when I did it, and zero regrets!
Nobody can make a better tattoo than this!! 🙂)
They run deeper and they're there for life, but whatever. Honestly, having a perfectly clean body without any scars or marks was getting pretty boring. 🙂
Just me and my scalpel, also 3 😁

Shooting through your knee... yeah, that's just as great. It'll stick with you forever too. Not everyone walks with a limp, so you'll still be fine... Plus, you'll have a hell of a story to tell, way better than a tattoo...

Lilias, I’ve got similar scars from when I was cutting myself with a razor back in my teenage years during a massive crisis. 😵 Honestly, I regret it so deeply, especially since my career path requires me to look perfectly composed—I can't afford even a hint of having been unstable, if you know what I mean.

It’s such an embarrassing thing to carry, and I hide it from everyone. Sometimes I’m wearing three-quarter length sleeves, or I’ll awkwardly tilt my arm away whenever someone gets too close just so they don't see. It’s not a ton—just maybe 3 or 4 on the top of my upper arm, and the other arm is totally clear. There used to be more, but they’ve faded a bit over time. I really wish that one day, once I have enough money, I could just go under the knife and get them surgically removed.

Jason Morgan4,
Look, these aren't like tattoos; this is something that happens way too often among teenage girls who feel like they can't stand up to their parents or are just going through some intense emotional breakdown and turn to self-destruction.
People who aren't in the field might not get it, but for psychologists, this is a very well-known phenomenon.

Lawrence Bailey77 said:IF I were doing that—which I am certainly not—then there would be no harm done because, as you put it, they "aren't capable of seeing" anything. 🙂 In other words, how exactly am I supposed to provoke someone who lacks the capacity for awareness in the first place..?

I’m actually gesturing toward general ignorance... social mass apathy... the herd mentality... 🙂 .. or perhaps those individuals who are either too bored with their own lives or simply lack the backbone to look in the mirror, so instead they project everything onto others and criticize, while failing to see themselves .. acting as if they aren't even part of this earthly existence.

p.s. I suppose anything can be interpreted as a provocation .. especially if one has the inclination to see it that way.🧐

ban Anthony Perez28 😢 .. thanks for the permission to exist 😍 lol, honestly, I wasn't even aware we knew each other quite this well ..

.. I hadn't realized until this moment that I had been cured, let alone that I was ever ill.. or that this forum was my physician .. ?!

.. well, since I'm already here, I might as well join the stage production and play the role I never asked for and certainly didn't seek out, though I suppose when "cruel life" forces a part upon you (not including those people who are just bored and toy with others' problems, whether real or imagined, just to make their own lives more interesting) .. one should probably play it as convincingly as possible, shouldn't they? .. and then what .. you wait for the critical reaction .. and then .. well, that's just the role, lol, it's not the meaning of life.

what do you think, Altec .. am I being ungrateful .. to this "forum" which supposedly cured me 😉 and this is how I repay it .. I'm just terrible .. and apparently, we all know each other so intimately .. as if we grew up together on the same street, lol.😵

A little dose of reality wouldn't hurt. Good luck.👍

What? 🤔 I remember your threads about suicide. That's all. You were right on the edge, and you were convincing. Actually, I'm glad that typing keeps you happy and distracts you from those thoughts. 😉 Virtual life is quite the performance, isn't it? 🙂

So, credit where credit is due for this site. 👍 😉

Back to the topic. I have about 50 scars, and I'd bet very few people have more than that.
How do you live with it? Well, damn. Everyone carries their own weight. 🙂

I just signed up specifically to let you know that you aren't alone in this.
Everything you mentioned about yourself—it’s the exact same story for me. My arms, my body... it's all there. There is zero chance an apology is going to cut it; it’s obvious these were intentional.
I’m actually finishing up my degree right now, and I’m already dealing with the same anxieties. My future career involves some physical work, which means I'm facing plenty of situations where wearing long sleeves is going to feel incredibly awkward.
Those long sleeves are a massive pain when it's hot out, but honestly, even if I were melting, I wouldn't take them off—nothing burns more than the stares from other people. I’ve heard about the gels, the creams, and the laser surgeries, but I’m just not interested. My issue isn't the scars themselves, nor is it the dark places they came from. I don't mind wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life; I just don't want people seeing them.
I haven't been to the beach or a pool in years. I had to walk away from a whole bunch of physical activities I was planning to pursue seriously because I knew there was no way I could show my body. During the summer, every single moment of daily life is spent being hyper-aware of my arms and my movements. Whether it's grabbing coffee with friends, standing in line at the grocery store, picking up books at the library, or doctor's appointments (which are the absolute worst)—I’ve subconsciously learned how to gesture in a way that keeps my arms hidden. Sometimes I look ridiculous to myself, sitting at a cafe trying to tuck my arms away, but anything is better than having people notice.
A practical tip for surviving the summer while wearing long sleeves and t-shirts: just pretend you have extreme sun sensitivity or some kind of psoriasis. People will usually just wave it off immediately (pun intended)
I think I've moved past that phase—or at least I hope I have. That period is behind me and I'm doing okay now. I don't feel any obligation to explain myself or justify my choices to anyone. The reason I wear long sleeves isn't out of shame; it's because I refuse to let people judge me based on those scars. And they do judge—friends, family, and every stranger I cross paths with.
I reached out just to show you that there are others out there, and because I'm genuinely curious about how "normal" people view this stuff. If anyone wanders into this thread, please share your perspective on meeting someone who seems totally "normal," regular, great—and then they notice the scars. Any opinion is welcome.

🤔 I’ve got a somewhat radical thought crossing my mind here. Since this clearly bothers you all so much, why not just undergo a total rebranding? 🙏 🙏 Just wrap yourselves up nicely and call it a day. Nobody will ever bother asking you anything again. Even wanderinggull46 could finally grab a burkini, head down to the pool, and actually enjoy the beach for once.
Just a suggestion. 🙂

Lawrence Bailey77:

I suppose I should probably mention that my thoughts on NIP/TUCK have been somewhat scattered lately, though perhaps that’s just a symptom of the general malaise one feels when staring too long at the decay of modern television. It is a curious thing, isn't it? How we can become so deeply invested in the moral bankruptcy of certain characters while simultaneously judging them for their lack of ethics. I find myself returning to the series more often than I care to admit. There is a certain, albeit grim, structural integrity to the writing that one rarely finds in contemporary procedurals. It captures that specific, polished kind of emptiness found in high-end Beverly Hills practices—that veneer of surgical perfection masking a profound internal rot. It reminds me, in a way, of those overly manicured suburbs outside of Los Angeles where everyone is smiling, but nobody actually knows their neighbor's last name. The cynicism is heavy, certainly. Perhaps a bit too heavy for some. But then again, maybe I am simply becoming too jaded to appreciate the more colorful, superficial narratives that most people seem to crave. It’s all very bleak, I suppose, but there is a strange comfort in watching characters fail as spectacularly as they do. It makes one's own minor disappointments feel almost trivial by comparison. Or perhaps that's just wishful thinking. Lawrence Bailey77 says: What? I mean, this reminds me of those threads you used to post about suicide. Just thinking back... you were right on the edge then, and honestly, you were quite convincing about it. I suppose I’m actually glad that typing away here brings you some joy; maybe it serves as a decent distraction from those darker thoughts. ;)

Where exactly did my threads go? I don't recall actually initiating any specific discussions, though I have participated in various conversations regarding suicide for several different reasons. It was never my intention, I suppose, to be "persuasive" or anything of the sort. 🤔

It seems I haven’t been educated by this forum, nor by any other supposed experts out there, because everyone appears to be far too preoccupied with the issue of censorship. As for suicide, I am choosing not to discuss it for several reasons, among them being that the topic has been scrubbed entirely—more censorship, I suppose. Furthermore, I have come to realize the underlying motivations behind such suppression. In my view, it serves those who wish to wash their hands of the matter and dodge any sense of responsibility for the rising number of suicides. There are simply no indications that these numbers will ever trend downward. ☕

Lawrence Bailey77:

I suppose one could argue that a virtual existence is a rather fine game to play, wouldn't you agree? It seems to me that we are all just drifting through these digital simulations, perhaps more engaged with the pixels on our screens than the actual reality right in front of us. It is an interesting thought, I guess. Maybe we have simply found a way to make the void a little more entertaining.

No... a virtual life is just that—virtual. It’s merely another medium, another layer of separation. I suppose, if one were to ask my opinion, anything that further alienates a person from the natural world is inherently problematic. It feels like we are drifting further away from what actually matters, though I might be overthinking it. 😵 On the contrary... if you ask me, I suspect this whole thing just ends up making people dependent and incapable, though that is merely my own rather cynical estimation. If anyone finds themselves offended by that assessment, they are more than welcome to take their grievances directly to the board of directors at the local water utility. 🙂

Suppose we were to cross paths on a sidewalk somewhere and I happened to strike up this particular conversation. I suspect I would simply turn tail and run, regardless of whether you brought up suicide or any of those other heavy subjects being debated here. One must admit that the internet—this digital realm—is merely a medium that has become just established enough to allow us to bypass a certain degree of social hypocrisy. In my experience, staying quiet and keeping to oneself is often the most valuable asset one can possess in the society I inhabit. ☕

I suppose one could argue that straying from the core premise is merely an assumption, but I have always found such deviations rather tedious. To be perfectly honest, I am the same person here as I am in my daily life; I have never had much use for these forums as platforms for ego trips, idle experimentation, or some sort of psychological research project. If I do engage in those activities, I tend to apply them to my real-world endeavors instead. I am quite familiar with the rigors of the scientific method—the necessity of drawing conclusions based strictly on objectively gathered data. And, if I may say so, I possess more than enough of that data to reach a definitive conclusion.

This whole concept of point-sharing strikes me as nothing short of pathetic. It feels like a childish attempt to divert attention away from problems that are, quite frankly, unsolvable for those who lack either the will or the energy to face them. I suppose I find it rather tragic that people, paralyzed by their own helplessness, seek solace in the shared helplessness of others. They just want to be embraced by some sort of belief system—and when I say belief system, I’m not strictly referring to religion, though that applies too—simply because it makes life feel a little less heavy. It’s easier that way, I guess.

In my estimation, things aren't actually getting any easier. I suspect that lying, deception, and this constant, relentless pressure to persuade others are the primal issues at play here—the very root of the suffering endured by most people who try so desperately to "be happy." It is quite a melancholy thought. Honestly, sometimes the weight of it all makes me wonder why I even bother existing in such a world. I don't even need to delve into my own personal grievances to make that point. And, as I have previously noted, censorship remains a formidable force; whoever controls the narrative holds the power, and in a society driven by this cutthroat, competitive mentality, the only thing that seems to matter is winning. ☕

I suppose one could argue that the particular post in question definitely warrants censorship. It seems rather unavoidable, if you ask me. 😛