Does being an introvert make you prone to ghosting people?

Yeah, I’ve definitely noticed that about myself too—how I just kind of run away from stress and fear, and then everything just piles up and starts spinning in this endless loop.

What am I actually afraid of? Hmm, honestly, so much stuff... mostly that I'll embarrass myself, or that people will see me as ridiculous, clumsy, or even just plain stupid.
I've realized there are certain people where it feels totally fine, like they don't judge at all—sometimes it's not even an issue.
But then there are these other people—people I somehow put on a pedestal, you know?—and they just absolutely terrify me. When I'm around them, I just freeze up, like my brain completely shorts out. The words are right there in my head, but I just can't get them past my lips, so I end up just sitting there silently with this awkward, forced smile to try and "hide" how scared I am. Most of the time, I just come across as super gloomy and withdrawn.
And obviously, that eats away at me. Not to mention, if someone actually calls me out on it out loud, I'm basically done for.

Seriously though, guys, why do you feel the need to call out shy people like that? Like, why ask, "Why are you so shy?" or "Why are you being so quiet?" 😢

I don't know about everyone else, but for me, that just kills whatever tiny bit of courage I had left.

In my opinion, this is just a textbook case of putting someone down.👎 A truly well-meaning person would never sit there and analyze you by asking, "Why are you so quiet?" or "Why are you being so shy?"—especially not in front of an audience where the obvious goal is just to humiliate and embarrass you. I know because I've been on the receiving end of it myself, and let me tell you, I could see the sheer malice and spite written all over their faces. It was honestly revolting. If you actually care about someone, shouldn't you try to make them feel comfortable? You should encourage them to open up and help them overcome that shyness, or better yet, just leave them be. To me, asking "why are you so quiet" is one of the most tactless things a person can do. I pride myself on being quite a tactful person, so I have a real allergy to that kind of behavior, whether it's directed at me or someone else.

Maybe this "well-meaning person" actually means well, but they're just stuck in their own bubble... acting on their own little version of "empathy" as if it's some universal truth. They only know how to act based on what they think is right.
Take someone with, say, extreme phobias. If another person tries to force them to face that fear head-on to "fix" it, they basically become the enemy. If you aren't using a real psychological approach—like actually thinking through the situation from their perspective before jumping in—you're probably gonna mess things up big time. The odds of backfiring are huge if you don't grasp the scale of that person's fear...
And even with that kind of "theoretical empathy"... by practicing.. proving you were actually right is super subjective anyway...
The same logic applies to pretty much any social interaction out there.
It’s not even that people aren't "good" at heart... it’s more that they don't practice actual "mental empathy." They don't stop to observe or think deeply about the endless ways different people perceive and feel things. They just react based on their own narrow view...
The biggest issue is how people see others—as victims who "just wanted to help," or as impossible cases because they're being stubborn. It turns "offering help" into "rejecting help," which is really just a bruised ego masquerading as good intentions... or an ego that can't wrap its head around why other people act the way they do...

Should we be colonizing other planets?
Honestly, maybe it's better if we stay grounded here.....

Look, if someone actually has good intentions, they’d handle things the way I suggested—by showing they truly care. They would try to put the other person at ease rather than constantly shoving their flaws in their face with comments like, "you're just this" or "you're always that." Honestly, that's just low.
It feels like tact is becoming a lost art these days, doesn't it? People seem to use this excuse of being "brutally honest" to justify a complete lack of grace, all while hiding thinly veiled insults behind a veneer of sincerity.

But hey, even if someone does slip up out of pure kindness or just because they have a bit of a loose tongue, you should know there’s nothing worse than saying something like that to a sensitive soul. And don't be shocked when they start avoiding you. Why would they? They just don't feel comfortable being around you anymore.

I’m kind of with silverhawk9 on this one... I honestly don't get why people feel the need to do that, you know? Like, what are they actually hoping to achieve by asking those kinds of questions? I mean, I get that if someone is really confident in themselves, maybe they see me as being a bit different, or just... not their cup of tea. But still—why even ask?
It’s not like I go up to someone with blue eyes and go, "Hey, why are your eyes blue?" You’re just born that way, I guess. That's just how it is. 😛
I was just born the way I am—and yeah, maybe over time things have become even more pronounced, and maybe everything has drifted a little bit in the wrong direction... but I just don't understand why people act so shocked by someone's actual personality.
To be totally honest, it actually hurts. It just reminds me of my own flaws, and it feels like throwing salt in a wound... it just sends me into an even deeper funk, where I lose all motivation to even try and change... because then I start thinking it’s impossible, and that I’ll just always be stuck like this.

I’ll just stick to the thread title for this one.

In my opinion, being an introvert is closely linked to misanthropy. Honestly, I think introversion is a direct predisposition for it. Not that there's anything wrong with that—at least not in my book.

urbanraven69 said:I’m kind of with silverhawk9 on this one... I honestly don't get why people feel the need to do that, you know? Like, what are they actually hoping to achieve by asking those kinds of questions? I mean, I get that if someone is really confident in themselves, maybe they see me as being a bit different, or just... not their cup of tea. But still—why even ask?
It’s not like I go up to someone with blue eyes and go, "Hey, why are your eyes blue?" You’re just born that way, I guess. That's just how it is. 😛
I was just born the way I am—and yeah, maybe over time things have become even more pronounced, and maybe everything has drifted a little bit in the wrong direction... but I just don't understand why people act so shocked by someone's actual personality.
To be totally honest, it actually hurts. It just reminds me of my own flaws, and it feels like throwing salt in a wound... it just sends me into an even deeper funk, where I lose all motivation to even try and change... because then I start thinking it’s impossible, and that I’ll just always be stuck like this.

I know exactly how you feel. I used to be the exact same way—not quite as much now, but I've been through the whole ringer. For me, the absolute worst part was when I’d finally settle into a group, let my guard down, and then some acquaintance would chime in with a comment like, "Whoa, look at her, she actually has an opinion!" It is the literal definition of rubbing salt in a wound.👎 Even back in high school, getting picked on like that—even by teachers, which is just awful—could completely ruin my entire day and leave me feeling totally defeated.

At the end of the day, everyone has free will. If someone doesn't mesh with your vibe—whether they're quiet, outgoing, guarded, shy, or whatever else—you can just choose not to hang out with them. It’s that simple. You just move on; you don't need to play amateur psychologist. Looking back at that thread about introverts versus extroverts, there was even someone asking how to "make" a girl more extroverted. Honestly, if you don't like who she is, why are you even with her?🤦 I just can't wrap my head around people and their behavior. I think I'll just stick to hanging out with and dating people who are similar to me, rather than someone who just irritates me.

silverhawk9 said:I know exactly how you feel. I used to be the exact same way—not quite as much now, but I've been through the whole ringer. For me, the absolute worst part was when I’d finally settle into a group, let my guard down, and then some acquaintance would chime in with a comment like, "Whoa, look at her, she actually has an opinion!" It is the literal definition of rubbing salt in a wound.👎 Even back in high school, getting picked on like that—even by teachers, which is just awful—could completely ruin my entire day and leave me feeling totally defeated.

At the end of the day, everyone has free will. If someone doesn't mesh with your vibe—whether they're quiet, outgoing, guarded, shy, or whatever else—you can just choose not to hang out with them. It’s that simple. You just move on; you don't need to play amateur psychologist. Looking back at that thread about introverts versus extroverts, there was even someone asking how to "make" a girl more extroverted. Honestly, if you don't like who she is, why are you even with her?🤦 I just can't wrap my head around people and their behavior. I think I'll just stick to hanging out with and dating people who are similar to me, rather than someone who just irritates me.

Looks like we’re pretty much on the same page here. 🙂 It’s actually kind of a relief to know I'm not the only one dealing with this stuff...
And yeah, I am 100% with you on those wannabe psychologists. One time, this acquaintance of mine—who ended up dating one of my close friends—actually told me they had been sitting around talking about me, basically running these little "analyses" on my personality, and then she just blurted out her whole list of conclusions and opinions to my face. 🤦 Like, she was telling me I *should* be this way or that way, or that I'd seem smarter to other people if I acted differently... blah blah blah... I was honestly just stunned. Like, she actually took the time and felt the need to sit there and dissect me along with my friend... yeah, let's just say I don't see them the same way anymore.

Oh, and just as a side note, that girl is pretty much persona non grata at our university. People talk about her behind her back constantly and she doesn't really have a solid circle of friends... but hey, instead of minding her own business, she decided to spend her energy analyzing me...

I can't stand people who are constantly draining your energy. 😬 Honestly, I'm just hoping most people aren't like that.

urbanraven69 said:I’m kind of with silverhawk9 on this one... I honestly don't get why people feel the need to do that, you know? Like, what are they actually hoping to achieve by asking those kinds of questions? I mean, I get that if someone is really confident in themselves, maybe they see me as being a bit different, or just... not their cup of tea. But still—why even ask?
It’s not like I go up to someone with blue eyes and go, "Hey, why are your eyes blue?" You’re just born that way, I guess. That's just how it is. 😛
I was just born the way I am—and yeah, maybe over time things have become even more pronounced, and maybe everything has drifted a little bit in the wrong direction... but I just don't understand why people act so shocked by someone's actual personality.
To be totally honest, it actually hurts. It just reminds me of my own flaws, and it feels like throwing salt in a wound... it just sends me into an even deeper funk, where I lose all motivation to even try and change... because then I start thinking it’s impossible, and that I’ll just always be stuck like this.

Maybe try "imagining" it for a second. There are people out there who just don't have that heightened "emotional sensitivity." For folks living in a world of constant small talk and catering to others as the default norm... they might not get enough stimulation to even justify needing—let alone practicing—that kind of communication. They see the "world" through a lens of constant observation, calculation, and assessment... from that "consciousness"... they test the validity of their own logic by constantly probing everything around them. They're ego-centric; everyone is. They aren't going to break away from social constructs just because those constructs don't fit their internal map. Instead, they'll use tools to dismantle those structures for their own ends. It's totally natural and human behavior. When they spot a shy person, for example, their goal when approaching them might not be to provoke discomfort or trigger a reaction... Maybe they just see them as a "fleeting puzzle," an obsessive-compulsive gamble with themselves. Whether they're shy is already decided based on posture and vibes before they even speak... How shy they are, or how they'll react to a specific question?... Maybe they just want to see if their perception was right; they don't care about the level of stimulus or the person's actual state—where their "spiral" leads or what happens next... That person, their impact, their mental state... maybe it's all completely irrelevant to them?

urbanraven69 said:Hey everyone!

So, I kind of stumbled upon this subforum today—just browsing, you know?—and I decided to finally sign up and just... vent. I guess? I’ve been struggling with some stuff on my own for a while now, and honestly, I’m not even sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe just hearing someone else’s take or knowing if anyone else has felt this way might help a little.

Anyway, here’s the deal..
I don't even know where to start, really. I keep trying to give myself some kind of "diagnosis," but I am just totally lost.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been incredibly shy—like, painfully shy. I turn bright red at lightning speed. If someone asks me a question and I actually have to make eye contact and talk, I start sweating, my hands go everywhere, I get so anxious... I just want to bolt. It’s hard to explain how much my social life has suffered because of it. But, I mean, when I *did* manage to pull it off, I tried everything—self-help books, confidence workshops, you name it. And sometimes, they actually worked.
But then the years just sort of bleed together. I find myself turning down invites to go out in the city because I just don't know how I'll handle it. Sometimes I’ll say yes and it turns out okay, but other times it’s just awful. Time keeps moving, though. I’m past 25 now, and I still haven't found that footing, you know? I can't stop overanalyzing everything. I can't just hang out without all this internal drama going on in my head. I have a tiny circle of friends I see regularly—people I actually feel relaxed around—but anything beyond that just feels like this massive weight. It's hard to put into words how many movies I play in my head, or how much I tend to catastrophize things that other people just do naturally.

On top of being super shy, lately, I’ve started having these panic attacks. My heart just starts racing out of nowhere, and I feel this desperate need to just get out of the room immediately.
I’ve also started pulling away from my inner circle. Dealing with everyday situations is getting harder and harder. I’m avoiding people so much that I almost feel like I’ve started to hate them. That sounds terrible, I know, but that’s how it feels. I find flaws in everyone, nobody seems to click with me, I don't want to go anywhere... honestly, I’d rather just be alone all day.
My interaction with my family has basically dropped to zero. I don't want to talk to my parents; I've become blunt, almost dismissive. It’s actually scary seeing myself like this.
I’ve lost interest in everything. Nothing brings me joy anymore. It feels like there’s nothing in the world that could actually make me happy right now.
All sorts of dark thoughts are creeping in, and I just... I don't have the will or the strength to keep pushing. I feel so incredibly lost.
I’ve even started sneaking sleep aids here and there. They just numb me out—it's the only way I can stop thinking.
I’m losing myself completely. And I know I'm hurting the people around me too.
Up until recently, I was a practicing Catholic—someone who truly believed there was something higher up there looking out for us. But lately, I don't believe, I don't pray, I don't do anything.

I'm not the person I used to be. I stopped being just "the shy girl." Now, it's worse. I'm shy, but I'm also antisocial and I can't stand any kind of human contact.

This isn't me. I don't want my life to just pass me by like this. I need help, advice, an opinion, anything at all...

That sounds like depression, not just being an introvert.
An introvert who isn't depressed can sometimes even come across as an extrovert.
I'm an introvert, but I wasn't depressed before—so I know the difference between being an introvert and being an introvert dealing with depression. Neither one should cause you to generally hate people.

Don't start self-medicating with pills; go see a doctor.

rapidmason22 said:I’ll just stick to the thread title for this one.

In my opinion, being an introvert is closely linked to misanthropy. Honestly, I think introversion is a direct predisposition for it. Not that there's anything wrong with that—at least not in my book.

Funny thing is, I know a few misanthropes who are total extroverts—mostly just narcissists, really.

Not saying that's a universal rule, obviously—just calling out your assumption.