Living with Dyspraxia

Since I’m basically a walking disaster zone, I’m starting this thread because I want to learn more about dyspraxia, and I know there are plenty of psychologists in here.

Not a single day goes by where I don't spill something or break something.
I’ve actually managed to wreck car doors three separate times just while driving.
Back in elementary school, I was hopeless at art and gym—basically anything involving motor skills.
Planning my movements is hard, and even when I try, everything comes out clumsy or jerky.

People love to say, "Just get a grip," but the thing is, I can't just "get a grip," and I'm finally realizing that physical labor is definitely not my calling.

I’m not talking about being incapable of dressing myself or making a meal, but let's just say my coordination is pretty much non-existent.

Oh, and yeah: my hands shake. It happens whether I'm on medication or not.

Look, those hand tremors you’re experiencing aren't actually tied to dyspraxia. And let's be real here—there isn't some magic cure for this condition either. In the realm of modern science, we don't even have a clear grasp on what exactly is happening, so talking about "cures" is a bit premature, don't you think? What kind of medications are you even taking? Are you dealing with memory lapses? Does everything fall apart the second you try to multitask? Or is it more of that paralyzing anxiety where you're terrified of messing up before you've even started?

The way I see it, this feels a lot like dealing with dyslexia, dysgraphia, or dyscalculia.

I’m on medication for BPD. It isn't just my hands that shake; the whole body starts trembling whenever things get stressful.

At first, every single job felt like too much pressure. I've already given up on anything requiring fine motor skills because—honestly—it's just not happening for me.

There’s a massive list of basic tasks that most people take for granted, yet I struggle through them. That’s the real issue.

Multitasking isn't actually the problem. It’s more that I get so incredibly jittery the moment I start working, and I think that anxiety just completely freezes me up.

I was referred to a neurologist because of the tremors, but I missed the appointment and now I have to go through the hassle of rescheduling.

Years ago, I had some psychological evaluations done, and they mentioned the possibility of central nervous system damage. That includes things like MS or Parkinson, and I'm starting to get pretty worried about it.

Every time I search online, all I find is "clumsy child syndrome" or descriptions of childhood dyspraxia—stuff that describes exactly how I felt twenty years ago, but nothing about being an adult. It’s frustrating. I can find the occasional forum for adults dealing with this, but honestly, there just isn't enough information out there.

Whatever. I have a psychiatrist, so I'll just lay it all out for her. Maybe we can figure something out together, or at least she can point me toward career paths that don't rely on fine motor skills.

The reality is I was referred to a neurologist, but I missed my appointment, so I’m not making any definitive claims until I actually get checked out. On top of that, I've been dealing with these muscle spasms in my hands and feet lately, and I'm genuinely worried it might be the start of MS.

vividorca9 said:The way I see it, this feels a lot like dealing with dyslexia, dysgraphia, or dyscalculia.

I’m on medication for BPD. It isn't just my hands that shake; the whole body starts trembling whenever things get stressful.

At first, every single job felt like too much pressure. I've already given up on anything requiring fine motor skills because—honestly—it's just not happening for me.

There’s a massive list of basic tasks that most people take for granted, yet I struggle through them. That’s the real issue.

Multitasking isn't actually the problem. It’s more that I get so incredibly jittery the moment I start working, and I think that anxiety just completely freezes me up.

I was referred to a neurologist because of the tremors, but I missed the appointment and now I have to go through the hassle of rescheduling.

Years ago, I had some psychological evaluations done, and they mentioned the possibility of central nervous system damage. That includes things like MS or Parkinson, and I'm starting to get pretty worried about it.

Let's start by saying that while those things might be related, it's not a rule; for instance, in my case, you could be incredibly clumsy and have terrible handwriting but still pull straight A's in math. You could easily end up with better grades in Calculus or Chemistry than you ever did in Art class.🤦

The shaking itself isn't necessarily tied to dyspraxia. It could just be that you're extremely tense and high-strung because things that seem routine to everyone else feel difficult for you, which leads to that anxiety—that feeling that people are looking at you and thinking you're incompetent or something. The other possibility is a neurological issue, but that is way out of the realm of psychology.

You have to keep doing something, though. I hope you have someone in your corner who understands? Surely you can learn to manage certain tasks; with enough repetition, surely it shouldn't be impossible, so please don't give up...

Regarding the anxiety part, I think I've covered most of that already.

I don't have much more to say regarding the last two chapters, since those are strictly medical matters. Just go see a doctor, and please, stop missing your appointments...

In a work setting, this shows up as being incredibly clumsy when I'm doing physical tasks.

But my main issue was that I’d be doing everything just fine, and then some manager would swoop in and start lecturing me about why I seem so jittery and stiff, or how I don't act "natural," blah blah blah...
I think, to an extent, I just haven't had much luck with bosses. I always seem to run into these narrow-minded, old-school types who just don't get it...

It’s like a vicious cycle. The more anxious I get, the more clumsy I become. Then my confidence takes a hit because of that clumsiness, which makes me even more nervous. That's just how I am. Back when I handled cash, I’d double and triple check everything just to make sure I didn't mess up the change—probably because I lacked confidence—but my boss just saw it as being high-strung, and obviously, they weren't thrilled about it.

And that clumsiness only really hits me when I'm trying to learn something new. I have zero issues with things like getting dressed, cleaning, or using utensils, just like it says in the symptoms.

I'm pretty sure there's dyspraxia involved here, but the anxiety is also paralyzing. It's hard to shake, and even harder to work through. Some people thrive under pressure, but I'm definitely not one of them. Pressure and the fear of being judged just freeze me up completely.

Honestly, yeah, maybe the biggest hurdle is just a total lack of self-confidence. I could prepare perfectly for an exam, only to skip the deadline entirely because of some paranoid fear that I was going to fail. 🤷 This anxiety has burrowed itself so deep into my system that even medication hasn't been able to touch it.

Micek, honestly, there’s nothing weird about it. It’s just like how someone with a stutter might struggle more if they’re dealing with an inflexible person. A lot of different tics tend to flare up when you feel like you're being watched under a microscope. It’s just a standard human reaction, I guess.

You can work on improving the things that are actually within your control—the stuff you have influence over. But you aren't responsible for other people's stupidity or their narrow-mindedness. You just have to accept who you are.

And please, don't go around apologizing to anyone, giving them that submissive little smirk, or over-explaining yourself.
Instead, maybe just... 😁 snap back a little when people invade your personal space or follow you around like shadows. It’s rude. I’m exaggerating, obviously, but that’s essentially the point.

Usually, when you look someone straight in the eye and calmly—but firmly—call out a specific behavior, most people will just back off.

Just say it directly: "If you've already decided you trust me, then could you please just let me get this done in peace?" (Basically, you're just carving out some breathing room for yourself).

I suspect you'll generally find you're most successful in careers where people aren't constantly breathing down your neck. Think along the lines of a traveling sales rep, various field roles, or jobs that offer a bit of creative freedom.

I can see myself in about 90% of this, though I suppose a similar amount applies to my own experience with Asperger, which shares some overlapping traits with what’s being discussed here. It isn't anything extreme on my end. I’ve seen a psychiatrist briefly in the past and have dealt with other diagnoses; currently, I don't even have health insurance, but I’m hoping I can pull myself together and navigate my way out of this overwhelming headspace within the next year. I’m honestly not sure how they go about diagnosing dyspraxia in adults—from what I’ve gathered regarding Asperger, the process seems incredibly complex and drawn-out. Since the brain is essentially wired differently, I can't help but wonder why they can't just run a scan to provide definitive proof, and whether these things are permanent fixtures of one's identity. From what I understand, once you hit adulthood, those primary diagnoses aren't always the main focus on your medical record if you move on. I remember watching someone on YouTube who lives with dyspraxia and Asperger—maybe autism too, I can't quite recall—who leads a perfectly normal life in every sense, and my first thought was simply wondering if they were able to drive a car.

I can kind of relate to that—growing up, I had my fair share of broken bones, though looking back, it was mostly just pure clumsiness. I’m also the type of person who breaks things, forgets stuff, or loses my keys constantly... but it all stems from being scattered or feeling like I'm living in a completely different movie than everyone else. My hands shake quite badly, too—to the point where I’ve actually developed social anxiety about it. I stopped going out for coffee because if my hands start trembling, I start worrying that everyone is staring at me, which then makes my entire body start shaking. It’s honestly awful... I don't know if it's a side effect of medication, a reaction to stopping certain meds, or just part of who I am.

One thing I have noticed, though, is that when I’m working on a hobby I truly love, my hands are perfectly steady. I can focus on incredibly fine, delicate movements for hours without any issue. Because of that, I've started to suspect that this might be psychological—maybe something triggered by stress.

Do you have (or have you ever tried) a hobby you really enjoy that requires steady hands? Maybe that could be a way to test whether this is stress-related or something more neurological.

Hobbies might only be able to test out fine motor skills. In my experience, for instance, the tremors tend to get worse when I feel like I'm being watched—it’s more about that underlying sense of insecurity in social situations—but my handwriting and delicate movements are consistently a struggle regardless. The real issue lies with gross motor skills, particularly when it comes to multitasking.

vividorca9,

I see you're constantly linking this back to social tension. Now, look, I get it—social anxiety and friction definitely make life harder for everyone, no question about it. But here’s what I’m actually wondering: if we were talking about a total vacuum of social pressure—say, you were completely off the grid, totally at peace with yourself, nobody was watching you, and nobody would ever find out what you were up to—do you honestly believe your ability to plan your physical movements would suddenly become more efficient?

The way you describe that rigidity and the sheer inability to map out your next move... it sounds almost purely dopaminergic to me.

http://www.radnaterapija.net/sto-je-dispraksija

I figured I’d drop these here for anyone looking to dig a little deeper into what dyspraxia actually entails.

As the name itself implies, it's a condition where basic, practical tasks just don't click, yet it remains an incredibly misunderstood and largely overlooked issue. People living with this often get slapped with labels like "lazy" or "incompetent," which is fundamentally wrong and frankly insulting.

From what I've been reading, about 4% of children deal with these symptoms—with boys being diagnosed significantly more often than girls. If you consider that, it likely means closer to 6% of boys are actually dealing with this, which is a much higher prevalence than, say, autism, cerebral palsy, or other conditions that tend to hog all the public awareness.

Living with dyspraxia is a total nightmare—and I don't say that to be dramatic—but the struggle isn't necessarily the disorder itself; it's the reaction from everyone else. Like I've mentioned before, so many people just assume someone is being lazy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Often, people with this condition develop a fear of trying things, not because they lack work ethic, but because they are terrified of failing or facing judgment. It's that very cycle of criticism and misunderstanding that creates these barriers, even though most of these individuals are actually quite well-meaning. Then you have the others who just assume there's some sort of intellectual deficit, and god knows how much they bully and belittle those struggling. I've been on the receiving end of that myself—being called stupid and such. Back in fifth grade, I could whip out the answer to 18x14 in seconds, or list dozens of major US state capitals without breaking a sweat, but if you grow up in a primitive environment, none of that academic stuff matters compared to whether or not you can tie your shoelaces or ride a bike. What hurts the most, though, is when those insults come from your own inner circle at home.

I recently came across a point about how children who don't receive the necessary support end up navigating life as if they're walking through a thick fog; I've actually written on other threads about how I spent most of my life feeling like I was stuck in a cloud, a heavy mist, or a low-hanging fog.

The ultimate fallout is a complete erosion of self-confidence and the onset of depression, which can absolutely wreck a person's life. All it really takes is a bit more patience, some extra practice with these kids, protecting them, and helping them lean into their actual strengths...

Beyond just motor dyspraxia, you’ve also got the verbal and oral varieties to contend with. You deal with the motor coordination issues, but what else comes bundled in that package is anyone's guess. In my case, I dealt with the verbal side; I couldn't articulate words properly, and that persisted all the way until I was seven years old. Back then, I could barely get anything out that people actually understood.😁I might have been able to manage a few simple words here and there, but anything complex was completely out of reach. I finally got a handle on it right before starting elementary school—I had a great speech therapist, and my mother really stepped up to make sure I got help. The rest of my family, though—like my late father and grandmother (total idiots, honestly)—were completely against the idea of seeing a specialist. They treated it like some kind of shameful secret we had to hide.🤦

Moving away from my own history for a second, I want to point out just how many ignorant people are still walking around today. There's a three-year-old boy living in my neighborhood, and his situation isn't even about mispronunciation—he doesn't speak at all. He doesn't make any sounds, period! It's not like he's deaf or mute, because when his parents call him, he turns around just fine, but they don't take him anywhere for help. In fact, if you try to say anything to them about it, they actually get defensive and angry with you.🤦

Then there's oral dyspraxia, which is much rarer and, frankly, quite bizarre. Children with that condition struggle with basic things like smiling or even swallowing food properly...

I have to say, I find the whole situation surrounding this topic deeply disheartening; there are so few posts here, and what’s more striking is that every single one comes from users who actually live with this condition. It really drives home the grim reality that we’re facing a massive wall of misunderstanding out there—and honestly, where else are you going to find such profound ignorance when even the professionals on a therapist's couch don't seem to care?🍿