I feel aimless and nothing makes me happy anymore

Is it actually normal to feel like you have zero goals in life and just find everything incredibly tedious? Right now, I’m heading to my college classes from 8:00 to 11:00 AM, and then I’m left with three or four days a week where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. It’s exhausting; I constantly wish nothing would happen at all because I rarely feel any sense of excitement. It’s not that college is particularly thrilling, but I show up because that’s just the standard trajectory—elementary school, high school, college—and I’m just following the script. Nothing really brings me joy, except for this one guy, though there's no chance of anything happening with him. I’ve tried various activities, like dance classes and different workshops, but none of it stuck. How am I supposed to find someone who can actually step into my life and give it some semblance of meaning? My only real lifeline is this one friend from high school; she’s the only person who truly understands me, and if she weren't around, I think I’d lose it. Most people are just uninspiring. I need to find something that will fundamentally change my life. In the past, I used to see a different guy every single day just to fill the time, but even that didn't bring me happiness. I have friends and a few girlfriends, and we hang out enough to pass the time, but it doesn't actually fulfill me. I don't know why. Like I said, this one friend from high school is my best friend; she's the only one who makes me happy. We talk every day, and she feels exactly the same way I do—totally aimless and unfulfilled. Our connection comes from talking, joking around, calling guys, and plotting things together. All those typical hobbies that supposedly make people happy, like reading or dancing? None of that works for me. I need something more intense. And then there's that guy I mentioned before—my ex. He’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Being with him, especially when we're being intimate, is the only time I actually experience moments of genuine happiness. My friend and I are just built this way; these guys are our entire purpose. She has a boyfriend now, but if she were in my shoes without him, she’d be feeling exactly like I am. He is my entire world; those moments we spend together are my only source of joy. When he isn't around, I don't know how to function, so my friend compensates for that void. I love her more than anyone in the world. I don't know, maybe I am crazy, but nothing else interests me. Even college feels completely pointless.

Are you looking forward to spring or anything?
Are you excited about hearing some great music?

Do you ever find yourself daydreaming about your big goals?

I really hope you find a creative outlet soon, because you seem like someone with a ton of potential!

Sandra Mitchell69 said:Is it actually normal to feel like you have zero goals in life and just find everything incredibly tedious? Right now, I’m heading to my college classes from 8:00 to 11:00 AM, and then I’m left with three or four days a week where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. It’s exhausting; I constantly wish nothing would happen at all because I rarely feel any sense of excitement. It’s not that college is particularly thrilling, but I show up because that’s just the standard trajectory—elementary school, high school, college—and I’m just following the script. Nothing really brings me joy, except for this one guy, though there's no chance of anything happening with him. I’ve tried various activities, like dance classes and different workshops, but none of it stuck. How am I supposed to find someone who can actually step into my life and give it some semblance of meaning? My only real lifeline is this one friend from high school; she’s the only person who truly understands me, and if she weren't around, I think I’d lose it. Most people are just uninspiring. I need to find something that will fundamentally change my life. In the past, I used to see a different guy every single day just to fill the time, but even that didn't bring me happiness. I have friends and a few girlfriends, and we hang out enough to pass the time, but it doesn't actually fulfill me. I don't know why. Like I said, this one friend from high school is my best friend; she's the only one who makes me happy. We talk every day, and she feels exactly the same way I do—totally aimless and unfulfilled. Our connection comes from talking, joking around, calling guys, and plotting things together. All those typical hobbies that supposedly make people happy, like reading or dancing? None of that works for me. I need something more intense. And then there's that guy I mentioned before—my ex. He’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Being with him, especially when we're being intimate, is the only time I actually experience moments of genuine happiness. My friend and I are just built this way; these guys are our entire purpose. She has a boyfriend now, but if she were in my shoes without him, she’d be feeling exactly like I am. He is my entire world; those moments we spend together are my only source of joy. When he isn't around, I don't know how to function, so my friend compensates for that void. I love her more than anyone in the world. I don't know, maybe I am crazy, but nothing else interests me. Even college feels completely pointless.

Maybe you're just too hyper-focused on one specific guy to actually see all the opportunities life is throwing your way... and trust me, there are plenty.
If you're feeling stuck, maybe try volunteering somewhere—anywhere, really. You’ll meet new people and actually feel like you're doing something good for yourself and others... though I get it, that’s probably not your vibe since you aren't really the "giving" type. It feels like you expect everyone else to revolve around you... that's just how you seem to view everything—life, your friends, even guys. Like they're just there to entertain you and provide the purpose you're missing...😁
But here's the thing—nobody can hand you a sense of purpose on a silver platter. You have to find it yourself. Dig deep, figure out what actually lights you up, write down what you'd want to do with your life, and set some goals for yourself while actually having fun with it... because just sitting around waiting for things to happen? That's a recipe for disaster... and seriously, try to look beyond just yourself for once and see if you can find some joy in helping someone else...😁

Sandra Mitchell69 said:Is it actually normal to feel like you have zero goals in life and just find everything incredibly tedious? Right now, I’m heading to my college classes from 8:00 to 11:00 AM, and then I’m left with three or four days a week where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. It’s exhausting; I constantly wish nothing would happen at all because I rarely feel any sense of excitement. It’s not that college is particularly thrilling, but I show up because that’s just the standard trajectory—elementary school, high school, college—and I’m just following the script. Nothing really brings me joy, except for this one guy, though there's no chance of anything happening with him. I’ve tried various activities, like dance classes and different workshops, but none of it stuck. How am I supposed to find someone who can actually step into my life and give it some semblance of meaning? My only real lifeline is this one friend from high school; she’s the only person who truly understands me, and if she weren't around, I think I’d lose it. Most people are just uninspiring. I need to find something that will fundamentally change my life. In the past, I used to see a different guy every single day just to fill the time, but even that didn't bring me happiness. I have friends and a few girlfriends, and we hang out enough to pass the time, but it doesn't actually fulfill me. I don't know why. Like I said, this one friend from high school is my best friend; she's the only one who makes me happy. We talk every day, and she feels exactly the same way I do—totally aimless and unfulfilled. Our connection comes from talking, joking around, calling guys, and plotting things together. All those typical hobbies that supposedly make people happy, like reading or dancing? None of that works for me. I need something more intense. And then there's that guy I mentioned before—my ex. He’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Being with him, especially when we're being intimate, is the only time I actually experience moments of genuine happiness. My friend and I are just built this way; these guys are our entire purpose. She has a boyfriend now, but if she were in my shoes without him, she’d be feeling exactly like I am. He is my entire world; those moments we spend together are my only source of joy. When he isn't around, I don't know how to function, so my friend compensates for that void. I love her more than anyone in the world. I don't know, maybe I am crazy, but nothing else interests me. Even college feels completely pointless.

Honestly, it’s perfectly normal—in fact, most of your life will probably feel exactly like that, unless you hit some major crisis that forces your hand...

Human beings aren't inherently "wired" to lead these grand, meaningful, blissful lives—not really. We're wired to exist within our social circles, solve problems when they inevitably pop up, and then just relax and idle when things are quiet...

This constant cultural pressure—this relentless imperative that we all need to be "living our best lives," chasing passions, and staying perpetually motivated—is frankly idiocy. Life doesn't actually function that way. Our biology, at its most basic, inherent level, isn't designed for "fulfillment"... it's designed for survival. You want to stay safe, eat enough, maintain decent relationships with the people around you, have a little fun here and there, find a partner, and that's essentially the whole game.

Anything beyond that is just forcing yourself to perform... I mean, think about how much effort it actually takes to spontaneously care about a college degree or set some lofty long-term goal... it's exhausting.

In reality, it’s far more spontaneous to beat yourself up over a lack of initiative, motivation, or drive—to view it as a deep personal failure, which leads to shame and anxiety, and so on... negativity is always the path of least resistance...

Donna White50 said:Maybe you're just too hyper-focused on one specific guy to actually see all the opportunities life is throwing your way... and trust me, there are plenty.
If you're feeling stuck, maybe try volunteering somewhere—anywhere, really. You’ll meet new people and actually feel like you're doing something good for yourself and others... though I get it, that’s probably not your vibe since you aren't really the "giving" type. It feels like you expect everyone else to revolve around you... that's just how you seem to view everything—life, your friends, even guys. Like they're just there to entertain you and provide the purpose you're missing...😁
But here's the thing—nobody can hand you a sense of purpose on a silver platter. You have to find it yourself. Dig deep, figure out what actually lights you up, write down what you'd want to do with your life, and set some goals for yourself while actually having fun with it... because just sitting around waiting for things to happen? That's a recipe for disaster... and seriously, try to look beyond just yourself for once and see if you can find some joy in helping someone else...😁

I feel exactly like the person who started this thread. On top of having zero goals or interests, I just feel this constant, heavy emptiness inside. I'm on certain medications, so maybe that's part of it too. I've tried dating, I've tried volunteering, I even tried finishing my degree, but nothing seems to stick. I used to love connecting with people, but now I don't feel nearly as much as I used to; honestly, if I laugh once in a while, it's hard to even feel anything at all. I'm planning to try a different psychiatrist soon because the one I'm seeing now just treats me like a number on a chart—she just pushes pills at me, and they leave me feeling completely lifeless.

Depression is, in principle, a physiological ailment, much like a common cold... though I emphasize the principle here, because the actual lived experience is a far cry from anything you'd feel with a sniffle.

Try carving that sensation directly into your cerebral cortex; it’s akin to the way a fever rattles your entire frame during a bout of influenza... that is essentially the physical reality of battling depression.

Psychology and psychiatry, if we are being honest, are still relatively infantile branches of science; these doctors will certainly try their best to assist, but one must manage expectations.

Those struggling with depression find themselves completely offsides. Society expects them to perform at a professional level when they haven't even been given the rulebook, let alone the stamina required for the opening sprint—to say nothing of a marathon.

If you lack the strength for a first step, then crawl. Or perhaps just move a finger, or blink an eye... anything suffices. Every movement is progress toward something better, even if you fail to perceive it. One's perception becomes so fundamentally fractured that you might not even realize you are breathing, or that your heart is beating, or that your body is alive, simply waiting for a tiny spark of willpower to stir it back to life.

The weight of it still lingers with me; I speak from personal experience after several years... though, truth be told, I didn't even find much relief, let alone a sense of truly living.

Even without medication or various other interventions, it seems the body eventually initiates its own recovery processes. One simply has to be incredibly vigilant and protective of oneself. God forbid you end up in a toxic environment. As for me, I have opted for solitude and isolation—a choice my surroundings react to with a certain paranoia, though I can easily bury my own anxieties beneath layers of their ignorance. I suppose I should thank them for their misplaced goodwill.👍 And as for everything else, 👎