What's your "why"?

Andrew Price3 said:Let go of the heights. Return to the ground. Ground yourself. Zero field. Stop reaching upward. STOP.
Do you know why you feel PRESSURE? It’s the pressure of Life; it’s the pressure of the flow. But life isn't pressing down on you—you are feeling pressure because of a MISALIGNMENT with life. That is what you experience as pressure.
Align yourself with the flow of things. Accept. Don't reach for anything. Just be where you are. Don't create an massive burden for yourself when you haven't even lifted the small one yet.

You say you have higher goals? Fine. That's fine. But ask yourself now: what kind of person—someone possessing those higher goals—must they be in terms of their character and personal growth?

For instance... would inner peace be a characteristic of such a person?
Would such a person be at the mercy of circumstances?
Would they know how to be quiet within themselves?
How would that person view the world? How would they have to view everything that exists?
Does that person love themselves unconditionally, serving as an inspiration to others through their very existence?

Essentially, once you answer what kind of person would need to be to carry the weight of higher life goals, you will see the gap between that person and yourself. That gap is what causes your "tension."

That distinction, from here to there, is precisely that pressure. It is an internal, psychological illusion of trying to force "here" and "there" together.
But you can't do that.

Stop reaching for the heights. It isn't time yet. Can't you see you're struggling? That is Life telling you: "stop, don't go, stop. Slow down... slow down. Just easy. All great things happen slowly... like nature—it moves slowly, but it accomplishes everything."

The problem is trusting that... how do we trust a process we aren't even sure follows that pattern??
It's like this.
Look at where you are now, and look at where you were. Can you honestly say you haven't matured, realized, understood, survived, experienced, and learned things you weren't even aware of before?
That is exactly it. That is life—life moves, and you move with it. That is being supported by life. Even in moments when you didn't feel it, you pulled through, because life supports you so much that you have the freedom to believe whatever you want, yet you will still be SUPPORTED—because you are an INTEGRATED part of Life. You exist, and only life can exist; life is life itself, and it supports EXISTENCE. It supports you.

So, take it easy. Go slow. There is no rush... you have all of eternity. Masters know they have eternity, and from that security, they move slowly.

I have to admit, this post really made me stop and think....
You're saying that for someone to walk the path of self-development, they need certain predispositions... specific personality traits to handle higher goals.... I don't know.. personally, I feel like spiritual growth is sometimes triggered simultaneously from both the outside and the inside... like the circumstances and events in our lives unfold in harmony with the shifts happening within us... I've seen this happen in so many ways... it's not like spiritual development is some linear ladder where we arrive in this world as clueless beginners, pass a series of tests and riddles to graduate, and then we're ready for the next level... the knowledge is already there; we're just practicing how to connect with it....
To answer your questions...
Inner peace... I have to admit I haven't achieved it as a constant state... it mostly shows up in flashes... in the spaces between things... in those moments when I am not "there"... when I forget to think... when my emotional energies accidentally find a balance... when I forget all the traps of identity... in those moments, there is no sense of feeling, no need, no desire for anything... that's when nothingness and everything merge... but those moments are so elusive, and they fade so quickly...
Circumstances... I’ve never really been able to pin down what "circumstances" actually mean in the grand scheme of living. Are they forced upon us? Are they engineered, designed, or constructed? Do we choose them, and if so, to what extent? When I take a step back and look at my life from a distance, it feels like most of it was decided for me. I refuse to let those circumstances mold who I am, yet they often feel completely overwhelming...
Being alone with my own thoughts... out of everything in this life, that’s the one thing that has always come naturally to me. For as long as I can remember, I find my energy, my freedom, and my clarity in solitude. It’s in that stillness that I cleanse myself and find my footing again. I piece together the broken bits; I hunt for the lost fragments. It is the only time I don't feel lonely, isolated, or disconnected. In a crowd, or even just in social settings, I feel scattered. I need silence to actually hear anything. I haven't quite mastered being able to reach that state regardless of my environment yet...
The way I view the world... I have this constant urge to dissect the minute details while simultaneously grasping the entire picture. Everything around me is fascinating. I observe the world looking for the threads of connection—searching for the commonalities in all existence. Growing up, I was taught what was allowed and what wasn't, what was right and what was wrong, and why things were the way they were. But I could never just accept information as some absolute truth. I’ve always rejected truths that only persist because the majority defends them, or because people are too much of cowards to constantly tear down and rebuild their own value systems. I look at the world and see only its surface; I want to know what lies beneath that illusion of stability...
Do I love myself unconditionally? The only kind of love I can truly comprehend is one that is unconditional and absolutely free. People who claim to love themselves don't actually love themselves—they don't love their core, their essence—because they’ve never bothered to descend deep enough to find it. They just float on the surface of the identities and egos they cling to. I haven't met a single person capable of stripping away all their labels, categories, status, power, and everything they think they represent in this world, to be able to say they truly know who they are and love that person...
So... yes. I love myself. Not my body, my identity, or the reflection of what others perceive me to be. I love my essence. I know my core, and I recognize that core in everything that exists...

And thank you for those words... they prompted me to look at things through yet another lens.

Thanks to everyone for all the posts; you’ve certainly given me plenty to chew on...
To be honest, when I first started this thread, I wasn't looking for a lecture on how to go out and find my own purpose in life. I was actually more interested in hearing what drives everyone else. If we could just keep the conversation focused on that—what keeps *you* going—that would be great.👍

Perhaps, for some people, taking one's own life is simply an experience they feel compelled to undergo, a final purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. 🤷

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

It would probably be far more productive to host a thread dedicated to finding "legitimate" reasons for suicide, given that most of those justifications are utterly nonsensical.

There are enough reasons to live to fuel ten lifetimes, but I suppose if you fixate solely on one dark speck, you’ll remain blind to the light.

It’s ironic; I was under the impression people were out here searching for the Holy Grail, yet here you are looking for reasons to cease existing. Not bad.

you're saying a person needs certain predispositions... specific personality traits to even pursue self-development or aim for higher goals.

Not really. It isn't that rigid. Anyone capable of following their intuition has the necessary predisposition. Higher goals are essentially just the process of discovering those internal "predispositions." Pursuing higher purposes is, in truth, simply the act of tending to oneself.

I feel like spiritual growth is sometimes triggered simultaneously from both the outside and the inside... as if life circumstances and events unfold in alignment with the shifts happening within us.

Exactly.

inner peace... I have to admit I haven't achieved it as a constant state. It mostly appears in flashes... in the interstices... in those moments when I am not "there"... when I forget to think... when emotional energies accidentally find balance... when I lose sight of all the traps of identity... in those moments, there is no sense of feeling, need, or desire... nothingness and everything merge... but these moments are elusive and fade quickly...
susceptibility to circumstances... I've never truly defined what "circumstances" actually are in the context of life and existence... whether they are imposed, constructed, designed... whether we choose them and to what extent... looking at my life from a distance, it seems most things were not my choice... yet I refuse to let these circumstances mold me... even if they feel overwhelming...
quiet with myself... of all things in life, this is the only thing that has always come naturally to me... ever since I can remember, I find the necessary energy, freedom, and knowledge in solitude... in solitude, I purify myself and find myself... I assemble the broken pieces... search for lost fragments... it's the only time I don't feel alone... isolated... detached... in a crowd, in society, I feel scattered... I need solitude to hear the silence... I haven't reached a state where I can maintain this regardless of my environment...
how I observe the world... I have a need to simultaneously dissect the details and see the whole picture... everything surrounding me fascinates me... I watch the world and look for threads of connection... how everything that exists is similar... growing up, I was taught what was allowed and what wasn't... what was good, what was bad... why things are the way they are... I could never accept information as absolute truth... I always rejected truths that persist only because they are held by the majority... or because people are too cowardly to constantly tear down and rebuild their own value systems... I watch the world and see only its surface... I want to know what lies beneath that illusion of solidity...
whether I love myself unconditionally... the only kind of love I can comprehend is one that is unconditional and absolutely free... people who claim to love themselves don't love themselves—not their core, not their essence—because they have never descended to that level... they float at the level of the identity and ego they identify with... I haven't met a single person who can set aside all identifications and categorizations, all status and power, and everything they think they represent in this world... to be able to say they know who they are and that they love themselves...
so... I love myself... not my body, my identity, or the reflection of what others think of me... I love my essence... I know my core... and I see it in everything that exists...

Very beautiful. You "see" very well... you are conscious of consciousness itself, and it can only go from here. Just take it easy... it's relaxing, and it's also energizing.

northernsailor102 said:Thanks to everyone for all the posts; you’ve certainly given me plenty to chew on...
To be honest, when I first started this thread, I wasn't looking for a lecture on how to go out and find my own purpose in life. I was actually more interested in hearing what drives everyone else. If we could just keep the conversation focused on that—what keeps *you* going—that would be great.👍

Since we’re already here, we might as well soak up everything this world has to offer. Everything has its own story, usually carried by the people who lived through it. That’s really what drives me. I want to meet as many people as possible and experience as many of those unique chapters as I can.
That’s good to know.

Let me clarify what I mean. Every month, I pick up a copy of National Geographic. For me, it’s not just about the photography; it’s about reading about the lives and destinies of people from all walks of life. There’s something deeply moving about it. In those moments, I feel truly alive and engaged, almost as if they are sharing their own life stories directly with me. I think I connect with it because I see myself in that role, too—eventually, I want to be the one out there telling my own story.

Some people might find it strange, but for me, this is a vital part of my life.

Life's just one big path toward the grave... once you hit that breaking point and think about ending it all, you realize you're just becoming an appetizer for ants or a little house for worms. Even the Bible says if you take your own life, you're heading straight to hell, no matter what sins you've committed. Honestly, better to stay and drown in your problems than to go out that way and end up even worse off...

I don't think many people actually view it that way. In fact, it’s often quite the opposite. Most people who reach that point have already stood right on that razor's edge between life and death. They realize just how thin that line truly is, and they feel like they can finally escape the "suffering" by crossing it. It’s heartbreaking, really, because even though suicide is such a devastatingly final act, they see it as a form of salvation. To them, that relief feels incredibly close at hand.

Honestly, there’s just zero point in even trying to argue with someone who goes out of their way to capitalize "Church" and "Bible" like it's some kind of rule
I mean, you don't need to go hunting for some grand "reason for living" because, let's be real, finding one is pretty much impossible
So just chill out and enjoy life while you still can 🙂

Raymond Carter10 said:Honestly, there’s just zero point in even trying to argue with someone who goes out of their way to capitalize "Church" and "Bible" like it's some kind of rule
I mean, you don't need to go hunting for some grand "reason for living" because, let's be real, finding one is pretty much impossible
So just chill out and enjoy life while you still can 🙂

You gotta capitalize Church if you're Catholic, man... should've known that!...

The Bible is the title of the book... remember, names always get a capital letter!...

Why even bother talking to someone who can't even type right... total waste of time...

The reason for living is Life itself. This magnificent, wonderful, massive, perfect Life. How could anyone find it boring when there are so many wonders to witness? Though, it can be terrifying at times too—which is exactly why it’s so incredible. It’s all-encompassing. It’s possible. It’s an All-in-One experience. And while the Light is always shining, people often miss it... but the Light wants to be seen. So, Life "intentionally" pushes us into those dark places—perhaps just to nudge the sunglasses off our faces and force our eyes open, so we can finally perceive the Light through the contrast...

Betty Ramos said:The reason for living is Life itself. This magnificent, wonderful, massive, perfect Life. How could anyone find it boring when there are so many wonders to witness? Though, it can be terrifying at times too—which is exactly why it’s so incredible. It’s all-encompassing. It’s possible. It’s an All-in-One experience. And while the Light is always shining, people often miss it... but the Light wants to be seen. So, Life "intentionally" pushes us into those dark places—perhaps just to nudge the sunglasses off our faces and force our eyes open, so we can finally perceive the Light through the contrast...

It’s the truth...
If there were no darkness, would we even know light existed? Or vice versa?
We’d just be wandering blindly, lost either in total shadow or blinded by pure radiance...

All the beauty in this life exists right in the tension between those two opposites; once you grasp that balance, you'll see how beautiful everything really is.

Life is absolute garbage, seriously. But I’d never kill myself. What do you actually gain from checking out? You just feel the pain in that moment and then it's over. What if there isn't an afterlife? Even if there is, what if he follows the Bible—he'll just be suffering in hell anyway. Or worse, according to those Jehovah's Witnesses, you wouldn't even get a second chance; even in hell, you'd just be burned. Tell them all to screw off and just live, even if you're scraping by.

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

Look, we all go to those dark places sometimes where suicide crosses our minds—honestly, I’ve been there for a long time myself. The reasons vary, but after dealing with health issues, the absolute worst parts are just the crushing boredom and having zero friends to lean on, plus all those random life stressors that make you feel like you might just snap. Sometimes, the only thing that pulls me back is good company, you know, when someone actually remembers to give me a call—that stuff matters. But if you ask me, I think we’re all secretly chasing the same thing that most people won't admit: finding a partner and having kids. That’s really what keeps people tethered to this world. I’m single, and I hear people all the time saying life is meaningless, but then they turn around and live entirely for their kids, or they just grind through day-to-day, living paycheck to paycheck, just taking it as it comes. In my experience, it’s wild how people live together without wanting kids, just drifting along until, by some stroke of luck, a baby shows up and suddenly everything makes sense. Humans have this built-in instinct to survive, sure, but the urge to keep your offspring alive is way stronger than anything else.

Why don't you just reach out to them? 🙂

Seriously, go find a hobby or something! Just get out of the house and meet some new people. Don't just shut yourself away inside four walls and isolate from everyone else—that’s honestly the worst thing you could possibly do.

Raymond Carter10 said:Why don't you just reach out to them? 🙂

Seriously, go find a hobby or something! Just get out of the house and meet some new people. Don't just shut yourself away inside four walls and isolate from everyone else—that’s honestly the worst thing you could possibly do.

Man, I spent years doing exactly that—socializing, swinging by friends' places, the whole nine yards—but eventually, it just started drying up because nobody actually has the time anymore. It’s honestly depressing to hear and see how those same old friends have basically become shut-ins, only leaving the house to commute to work and nothing else. I just got sick of calling someone up only for them to be like, "Hey, just come over to my place," and then I'd spend an hour or two sitting there before heading home. At a certain point, I figured I'd rather just grab a coffee at my own place, catch a show on TV, and wait for people to actually call me. For some of them, I was waiting forever, because let's be real—they only ever ring you when they need a favor.
Meeting new people was never really my thing anyway. I tried photography as a hobby for a while, but even then, I ended up wandering around solo most of the time, and once you realize you aren't exactly the life of the party, you just kind of lose interest in the whole social scene.

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

ironically, death is the primary reason for living

I have thought extensively about suicide, though lately, it has become more of an occasional thing... occurring in fits and starts 😬... almost as if I have given up, yet naturally, the option remains open... just like everyone else 👍

I was so worked up once, and the situation was such that... I don't care if that sounds terrible or horrific, but life is simply like that sometimes, so I will say it was actually a rational decision/assessment despite my pathological state... it isn't really something to explain, and I feel no need to explain myself to anyone; in fact, I would prefer if no one ever understood

But in the end, the instinct... the survival instinct prevailed... I even feel wretched, like a defeated version of humanity... because if I were truly human, I would have settled it like a human would... instead, I find myself looking at myself as a meaningless being 😁 but then again, new experiences are new experiences, regardless of how they turn out. So, I suppose I'll see what a life like this has to offer and what is possible... and so, here I am, aimlessly browsing this forum 😵

Currently, I am just waiting for another episode to pass... I try to redirect my thoughts whenever I can toward the recent past, which was quite intense... I enjoyed myself for a somewhat decent stretch, and then... well, here we are again... who knows for how long... one works... one fights... alone against oneself, but who exactly is that? One can never truly know ☕

So, to summarize, briefly and clearly, mine; my reason for living is death

goldentinker21 said:Man, I spent years doing exactly that—socializing, swinging by friends' places, the whole nine yards—but eventually, it just started drying up because nobody actually has the time anymore. It’s honestly depressing to hear and see how those same old friends have basically become shut-ins, only leaving the house to commute to work and nothing else. I just got sick of calling someone up only for them to be like, "Hey, just come over to my place," and then I'd spend an hour or two sitting there before heading home. At a certain point, I figured I'd rather just grab a coffee at my own place, catch a show on TV, and wait for people to actually call me. For some of them, I was waiting forever, because let's be real—they only ever ring you when they need a favor.
Meeting new people was never really my thing anyway. I tried photography as a hobby for a while, but even then, I ended up wandering around solo most of the time, and once you realize you aren't exactly the life of the party, you just kind of lose interest in the whole social scene.

Let’s be real—most people’s lives are moving at breakneck speed these days, just one massive, overwhelming pile of obligations after another. It feels like everyone is constantly redlining. I see it all the time: people just tossing their friendships and social connections into the trash heap just so they can keep up with their careers or deal with family drama. Honestly? It’s a disaster. It isn't healthy, not by a long shot, but it’s like most folks don't even know there's another way to live. They're stuck in this frantic loop, thinking that sacrificing their actual human connections is just the price you pay to stay afloat in the rat race. It shouldn't be that way, but man, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks once they've already burnt those bridges.

Look, if you actually want to level up your life—I mean, really improve the quality of your day-to-day existence—you have to be willing to face the awkwardness head-on. You’ve got to get out there and start meeting new people, even when it feels uncomfortable. And let me tell you, it’s going to suck sometimes. It doesn't matter how many times you get rejected or how many times you meet someone and realize within five minutes that you just don't click—it’s all part of the process. It’s like trying to find a decent mechanic in Chicago; you might go to three different shops before you find one that isn't ripping you off. You just have to keep pushing forward, stay brave, and eventually, you'll stumble upon those people who actually make life worth living.

goldentinker21 said:Look, we all go to those dark places sometimes where suicide crosses our minds—honestly, I’ve been there for a long time myself. The reasons vary, but after dealing with health issues, the absolute worst parts are just the crushing boredom and having zero friends to lean on, plus all those random life stressors that make you feel like you might just snap. Sometimes, the only thing that pulls me back is good company, you know, when someone actually remembers to give me a call—that stuff matters. But if you ask me, I think we’re all secretly chasing the same thing that most people won't admit: finding a partner and having kids. That’s really what keeps people tethered to this world. I’m single, and I hear people all the time saying life is meaningless, but then they turn around and live entirely for their kids, or they just grind through day-to-day, living paycheck to paycheck, just taking it as it comes. In my experience, it’s wild how people live together without wanting kids, just drifting along until, by some stroke of luck, a baby shows up and suddenly everything makes sense. Humans have this built-in instinct to survive, sure, but the urge to keep your offspring alive is way stronger than anything else.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Just focus on getting out there, meeting people, and actually making some connections. Every once in a while, you'll stumble upon someone who really clicks with you—and honestly, that’s how things start, whether it turns into a solid friendship or maybe even something more romantic. It’s all about taking it one step at a time. Just keep moving forward, and eventually, things will fall into place exactly how you want them to. 😉

Look, I totally get that having kids is a huge deal for you—it’s clearly a priority in your life—but you’ve gotta realize there are plenty of people out there who just don't care for it. It’s not for everyone, okay? It's like that old saying goes: different strokes for different folks. Everyone's got their own path, and that's just how it is.

Mark Wright79 said:Life's just one big path toward the grave... once you hit that breaking point and think about ending it all, you realize you're just becoming an appetizer for ants or a little house for worms. Even the Bible says if you take your own life, you're heading straight to hell, no matter what sins you've committed. Honestly, better to stay and drown in your problems than to go out that way and end up even worse off...

Look, I’m not exactly a believer myself, but I’ve got my own take on religion, and here it is: faith basically exists as a way to give people a set of rules to live by, which actually does some good for society in certain ways. But if you really look at those commandments, they aren't even about "faith" in the spiritual sense—they're just a code of conduct for how humans should act toward one another. Seriously, if every single person on this planet actually lived by the Ten Commandments, the world would be pretty much perfect.

Most people just exist because they’re forced to—mostly out of a fear of dying—whereas the rare few actually live because they want to and find genuine fulfillment. I imagine those who are truly broken, yet have enough guts, might check out while still in their teens; meanwhile, the majority never really hits that true, vibrant 😁 stride, just drifting through life as mere survivors until they eventually fade away.