Speech patterns: What do you love, and what drives you crazy?

I read somewhere that people who talk fast are often pegged as being smarter—even though half the time they’re just rambling about nothing at all. (😁 )
On the flip side, I’ve noticed that when someone talks slow, people immediately assume they aren't as competent... and honestly, it's easy to lose focus listening to them.
I also read that slow talkers get labeled as "slow thinkers." (I'll admit, I catch myself doing that too. ☕)
But that isn't always true—sometimes it’s actually the exact opposite.

I really want to dive into speech styles and how nonverbal cues play into it.

For me, I definitely appreciate someone with a quick wit, but I also love a steady, moderate volume. Thin, high-pitched voices? Total dealbreaker for me.
And don't even get me started on people who laugh way too hard at their own jokes. That's pretty much everything I can think of. 🤔

So, what do you guys look for in a conversationalist—and what drives you crazy?
Have you noticed specific traits that make you instantly favor someone? Or maybe things that make you write them off right away?
Or more on the negative side?
🤷

I tend to talk a bit faster when I feel like someone might interrupt me, just so I can finish my thought. Generally speaking, I really appreciate concise communication and when people just get straight to the point without beating around the bush.

Jeffrey Green732 said:I tend to talk a bit faster when I feel like someone might interrupt me, just so I can finish my thought. Generally speaking, I really appreciate concise communication and when people just get straight to the point without beating around the bush.

Yeah, exactly. It honestly drives me up the wall when people tell these massive, winding stories just to get to the actual point.🙄 It’s like they don't even realize there's another way to communicate, you know? They feel the need to recount every single little detail in chronological order—who said what, where they were standing, all that stuff—just so they can finally reach the part they actually wanted to say in the first place.🙏

I’ve always found those high-pitched, squeaky voices on women to be grating, but honestly? They bother me even more when it comes to men.

I’m definitely not much of a writer, but I'll give it my best shot...

I’ve always had a thing for people who actually know how to hold a conversation—you know, those folks who play with language, flow through sentences naturally, and really lean into the important stuff. I love when someone uses their hands or facial expressions to drive home an emotion, or uses body language to show they’re in charge without even trying... It's just magnetic. On the flip side, I can't stand the mumble-talkers—people who drone on in this slow, monotone way, or those with zero vocabulary who just lack any real spark. And don't even get me started on the loudmouths who try to drown everyone else out just to feel powerful...
I actually ran into someone today whose vibe totally caught me off guard. It was such a cool little moment—someone handed him a phone to take a call, not knowing who it was for... he just took it, laughed, and asked, "Am I winning?" Honestly, I thought it was brilliant... He basically asserted his whole personality with just those two little words...🙂

I have always harbored a certain distaste for those who rush through their speech, operating under the misguided assumption that everyone can actually follow their frantic pace
I find myself equally weary of those whose laughter is unnecessarily boisterous and intrusive

In my estimation, those who speak with a more measured cadence are either significantly more coherent or simply more intelligent, as they possess the decency to actually contemplate their words before letting them fly

Personally, I can't stand people who swear after every other word—there seem to be way too many of them around me lately. I'm not religious or anything, but it still bugs me; I guess it just suggests they might not be the most mentally sharp if they can't string a single sentence together without dropping an F-bomb.

Also, people who talk too calmly, monotone and slow... it’s frustrating when you already know what they’re going to say before they’re even halfway through the sentence. I hate interrupting people while they speak, so that's just a nightmare.

And yeah, the ones who shout constantly? They're definitely the worst.

Brandon Bishop15 said:Personally, I can't stand people who swear after every other word—there seem to be way too many of them around me lately. I'm not religious or anything, but it still bugs me; I guess it just suggests they might not be the most mentally sharp if they can't string a single sentence together without dropping an F-bomb.

Also, people who talk too calmly, monotone and slow... it’s frustrating when you already know what they’re going to say before they’re even halfway through the sentence. I hate interrupting people while they speak, so that's just a nightmare.

And yeah, the ones who shout constantly? They're definitely the worst.

So, I guess I’m either swearing too much or talking like a damn robot. 🙏

redbear2 said:So, I guess I’m either swearing too much or talking like a damn robot. 🙏

Well, at least you aren't yelling. 😁

Brandon Bishop15 said:Well, at least you aren't yelling. 😁

It’s always just when the games are on. 🎉

Honestly, when women swear—especially if they have a pretty limited vocabulary—it’s just a total turn-off. It only works for me if they’re super eloquent.
With guys, though? I don't know, the swearing just feels more natural.

Oh, and one more thing—I can't stand it when people close their eyes for a second while they're talking. It's always felt incredibly arrogant to me for some reason. 🤷

I’ve always found it hard to focus on someone if they have a really high-pitched, thin voice. It just makes it tough to stay tuned in, you know? 😳

Personally, I have a deeper, slightly raspier voice. I've noticed that when I'm giving presentations, speaking a bit faster actually helps me come across as more knowledgeable. 😲

Also, I can't stand it when people won't look you in the eye while they're talking. 😲

Beyond that, I don't really pay much attention to anything else. 😲

Jerry Bishop4 said:I’ve always found it hard to focus on someone if they have a really high-pitched, thin voice. It just makes it tough to stay tuned in, you know? 😳

Personally, I have a deeper, slightly raspier voice. I've noticed that when I'm giving presentations, speaking a bit faster actually helps me come across as more knowledgeable. 😲

Also, I can't stand it when people won't look you in the eye while they're talking. 😲

Beyond that, I don't really pay much attention to anything else. 😲

🙂
Quinn:

I’ve got a deeper, slightly raspier voice. I’ve noticed that when I’m answering questions, I actually get a better reaction if I pick up the pace a bit. It’s like people subconsciously assume you know more about the subject if you talk faster. It's an interesting little quirk of human psychology. 😲

The voice you hear in your own head? It isn’t the one everyone else is hearing. We all tend to think our own voice sounds deeper, more resonant than it actually does. It's a bit like looking in a mirror and thinking you look taller than you really are—a little trick of the mind that we all fall for.

redbear2 said:🙂
Quinn:

I’ve got a deeper, slightly raspier voice. I’ve noticed that when I’m answering questions, I actually get a better reaction if I pick up the pace a bit. It’s like people subconsciously assume you know more about the subject if you talk faster. It's an interesting little quirk of human psychology. 😲

The voice you hear in your own head? It isn’t the one everyone else is hearing. We all tend to think our own voice sounds deeper, more resonant than it actually does. It's a bit like looking in a mirror and thinking you look taller than you really are—a little trick of the mind that we all fall for.

I didn't actually conclude that myself—everyone else pointed it out to me! I never thought it sounded deep, 🤣 I just thought it sounded a little nasal. 🤣

I don't really bother making direct eye contact with people much. I don't see the point, I guess. He can hear me just fine without me looking at him.

Brandon Bishop15 said:I don't really bother making direct eye contact with people much. I don't see the point, I guess. He can hear me just fine without me looking at him.

But don't you think you might be missing out on a lot? A look can say so much, don't you agree?😲

Jerry Bishop4 said:But don't you think you might be missing out on a lot? A look can say so much, don't you agree?😲

I don't really know how to read emotions or tell if someone is faking it based on their look anyway. it all looks pretty much the same to me.

I love it when people talk about something deep—they kind of drift off for a second and just get lost in thought.
But man, I can't stand it when someone keeps their eyes locked on yours without breaking away while they speak. It makes me feel like they’re lying or trying to force an idea down my throat... you know, that intense stare that just pierces right through you?

How do you guys feel about it? When someone's talking, do you actually like having them stare you down the whole time? 🤷

Kyle Vaughn8 said:I love it when people talk about something deep—they kind of drift off for a second and just get lost in thought.
But man, I can't stand it when someone keeps their eyes locked on yours without breaking away while they speak. It makes me feel like they’re lying or trying to force an idea down my throat... you know, that intense stare that just pierces right through you?

How do you guys feel about it? When someone's talking, do you actually like having them stare you down the whole time? 🤷

I’m not a fan. It bugs me even more when someone is just chatting away and starts inching closer to my personal space. I'll lean back, and they just keep closing the gap. It isn't quite the same as the eye contact thing, but the vibe is identical.

It bothers me when someone’s speech becomes such a distraction that it actually pulls focus away from nonverbal communication... which, if I'm being honest, I tend to favor much more than mere words 🍿