Love or Power?

I saw this quote somewhere: "I’m suckered in by the drama, the weird takes, and those messy life mistakes people make when they finally open up and trust you. There's something about realizing someone isn't perfect that just drives me wild. Their one fatal flaw is usually their struggle to master their own mind and body." And honestly? I felt that in my soul. It's like looking in a mirror. Here I am, thinking I've got everything under control, yet I'm still such a total wreck. Where did this glitch in my system even come from? Makes me wonder if we're all just fundamentally broken... or if I just need to check if my horoscope is out to get me today.😵

Explain yourself...
Love is just power and control, period. It’s nothing else.

Look, we’re sane people who aren't just slaves to our basic impulses. All that talk about fairy tales and "true love" is nothing but pure fantasy... Real love is about control, power, and dominance—it's that intense, kinky, S&M dynamic where you surrender and take charge all at once. It's the ultimate yin and yang, right?

ambercrane722 said:I saw this quote somewhere: "I’m suckered in by the drama, the weird takes, and those messy life mistakes people make when they finally open up and trust you. There's something about realizing someone isn't perfect that just drives me wild. Their one fatal flaw is usually their struggle to master their own mind and body." And honestly? I felt that in my soul. It's like looking in a mirror. Here I am, thinking I've got everything under control, yet I'm still such a total wreck. Where did this glitch in my system even come from? Makes me wonder if we're all just fundamentally broken... or if I just need to check if my horoscope is out to get me today.😵

🙂 So, you’re just blaming my entire personality on being a Scorpio? That is a remarkably lazy excuse for someone trying to dodge a point. 😁

ambercrane722 said:Look, we’re sane people who aren't just slaves to our basic impulses. All that talk about fairy tales and "true love" is nothing but pure fantasy... Real love is about control, power, and dominance—it's that intense, kinky, S&M dynamic where you surrender and take charge all at once. It's the ultimate yin and yang, right?

In my view, love functions primarily as a sensory stimulant—whether that manifests as profound emotional fulfillment or a genuine psychological dependency—and there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with that reality. As for sex, which is clearly what this individual is actually preoccupied with, it is merely one component of that much larger equation.

By the way, what exactly prompted you to ask that? Was it merely because of the quote, or have you actually been sitting there contemplating these matters for some time now? 🙂

Look, I honestly think love is just this massive, all-consuming game involving everything—your body, your mind, your soul, the whole nine yards. I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for years, keeping my mouth shut because I’ve never been one for big dramatic speeches or flowery words. I’ve been lurking on this forum forever, and lately, I’ve started speaking my mind more aggressively, but that’s just because I’ve reached my breaking point with everything that's piled up. Mostly, I’m wondering where the line is drawn before two people just end up destroying each other, because once you cross those boundaries, you're basically handing over total control to someone else, and let me tell you, that never ends well. It's like any other addiction, whether it's food or something darker; life has taught me that this intense, obsessive side of me stays quiet in the shadows until it suddenly surges up and hijacks my head and my body, though thankfully, it doesn't stay in charge for long.

ambercrane722 said:Look, we’re sane people who aren't just slaves to our basic impulses. All that talk about fairy tales and "true love" is nothing but pure fantasy... Real love is about control, power, and dominance—it's that intense, kinky, S&M dynamic where you surrender and take charge all at once. It's the ultimate yin and yang, right?

No, that isn't true love. That's just the version of love most people consume. It's nothing more than possession. That's why marriage exists in the first place—so you can formally belong to someone else.

redbear2, you just don't get it... I’m not saying this *is* love, I’m saying it’s a fundamental part of it. You have to go through the fire to reach that next level, and that level is true, eternal freedom. Like, what kind of person are you if you haven't faced this struggle at least once? You're basically incomplete—just some hollow, faceless shell. Right now, with Venus in Scorpio, everyone is feeling this intensity way more deeply, which is exactly why I’m pushing this conversation. Personally, I don't deal with those issues anymore; I moved past all that back when I was a teenager, though the echoes are still there. And honestly? I wouldn't trade them for anything because they're a core part of who I am.

Look, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea... this might sound a bit childish, but it's really just something that got me thinking. All those messy lines between love and hate, the obsession, the need to control everything, the power trips... it’s all just an illusion, isn't it? We've all been through that cycle, and let's be real—those scars don't just vanish, no matter how hard you try.

ambercrane722 said:redbear2, you just don't get it... I’m not saying this *is* love, I’m saying it’s a fundamental part of it. You have to go through the fire to reach that next level, and that level is true, eternal freedom. Like, what kind of person are you if you haven't faced this struggle at least once? You're basically incomplete—just some hollow, faceless shell. Right now, with Venus in Scorpio, everyone is feeling this intensity way more deeply, which is exactly why I’m pushing this conversation. Personally, I don't deal with those issues anymore; I moved past all that back when I was a teenager, though the echoes are still there. And honestly? I wouldn't trade them for anything because they're a core part of who I am.

First off, astrology is a hard pass for me.

Second, how does tying yourself to someone else somehow lead to freedom? That logic doesn't track.

Third, real love isn't about exerting control over another person. At its core, it's really just about self-love.

chill out... I didn't just stumble through those phases by choice, my subconscious basically drove the car. I've moved past all that and I'm playing much smarter now. You a believer in horoscopes? Because I'm all about astrology... and don't take me too literally here... you honestly think I'm being childish by suggesting love involves dominance or control? NO, I'm saying it's just obvious

ambercrane722 said:chill out... I didn't just stumble through those phases by choice, my subconscious basically drove the car. I've moved past all that and I'm playing much smarter now. You a believer in horoscopes? Because I'm all about astrology... and don't take me too literally here... you honestly think I'm being childish by suggesting love involves dominance or control? NO, I'm saying it's just obvious

If you can't put your thoughts into words, there isn't much else for me to say.

Truth is, I really need to work on this. I just get stuck in my head and end up going full throttle because once that feeling hits me, I totally lose it lol

ambercrane722 said:I saw this quote somewhere: "I’m suckered in by the drama, the weird takes, and those messy life mistakes people make when they finally open up and trust you. There's something about realizing someone isn't perfect that just drives me wild. Their one fatal flaw is usually their struggle to master their own mind and body." And honestly? I felt that in my soul. It's like looking in a mirror. Here I am, thinking I've got everything under control, yet I'm still such a total wreck. Where did this glitch in my system even come from? Makes me wonder if we're all just fundamentally broken... or if I just need to check if my horoscope is out to get me today.😵

It sounds like you and I are vibing on that same extreme frequency—that constant tug-of-war between being totally composed, hyper-controlled, and completely flawed, or between being primal and losing all restraint... if I'm reading you right...?
I don't think it has much to do with love, because true love doesn't really play in those extremes—love isn't about possession or micromanaging someone... but with passion and raw instinct? Oh, absolutely. Those are two extremes I find myself wrestling with constantly... finding peace through love, versus that wild energy through passion that just explodes out of nowhere when you least expect it...🙂

Go ahead and keep deluding yourselves if you must... but I find myself wondering why there is such an overwhelming need to convince everyone else that your specific definition of love is the correct one.

Actually, it would be far more interesting to hear about some actual, lived experiences—tangible manifestations of "your" versions of love... though perhaps I shouldn't even call them love.😛

Donna White50 said:It sounds like you and I are vibing on that same extreme frequency—that constant tug-of-war between being totally composed, hyper-controlled, and completely flawed, or between being primal and losing all restraint... if I'm reading you right...?
I don't think it has much to do with love, because true love doesn't really play in those extremes—love isn't about possession or micromanaging someone... but with passion and raw instinct? Oh, absolutely. Those are two extremes I find myself wrestling with constantly... finding peace through love, versus that wild energy through passion that just explodes out of nowhere when you least expect it...🙂

You talk about love as if it were a person... and I won't even say people talk about God in much the same way... but everything you're describing isn't actually love. Or rather, the terms you're using are already strictly defined elsewhere. You can do better than this.😉

.. I get the feeling you might eventually start showing off your special powers to us 😁 and as for love, I won't be hearing any more about it, not even a little bit.

For most of my life, I was totally obsessed with perfection. Like, if it wasn't flawless, it wasn't good enough, and I just didn't know how to be anything else.
At the end of the day, you're the one who knows yourself best, including all those messy flaws.
I used to beat myself up over them, honestly. It got to the point where I felt like I didn't even deserve the "perfect" things I was chasing.
So yeah, I wouldn't even dream of getting involved with a guy who seemed perfect to me.
It wasn't about trying to manipulate anyone—I just wanted the freedom to be myself, flaws and all. And the only way to do that was with someone who actually gets it.
The urge to control people completely died after my first boyfriend. I realized it’s just exhausting, and at the end of the day, everyone does their own thing anyway. You can't manipulate me, and you definitely can't change me, so how could I expect to control anyone else when I can't even force myself to be what I want to be?
If I ever stumble upon some magic formula that works on other people, I'll let you know. 🤣

Until then, I'm embracing imperfection. I'm making a conscious effort to fall for the imperfect stuff, because I'm certainly not perfect myself.
That’s not just some cheesy cliché; I mean it. I’m a bit eccentric and don't really fit into a neat little box. I know I *could* fit in—I spent most of my life training myself to be perfect, which helps out in my career and stuff, but in love? It’s a disaster. It leads you straight to guys who don't match your vibe at all. Eventually, you realize that once you're honest about who you are and what you want, very few people actually fit. Honestly, you might have stayed innocent longer if you'd just waited for that one person who fits like a puzzle piece.
Back then, I couldn't figure out why people struggled so much to find a partner when it felt like the world was just overflowing with love...

But once you finally figure out who YOU really are, everything changes. You start seeing your uniqueness. You realize your flaws aren't actually flaws, and that perfection is a myth. If perfection existed, the world would be totally out of whack—you need darkness to define the light, right?
Now, I accept my dark side as part of the whole package. Those shadows are there to highlight my light. My flaws and virtues are all part of the same person.
I don't need perfection anymore because I've realized I'm already perfect in my own weird way. I stopped trying to bend myself to fit things that go against what I actually want. I finally get it now—loving someone's entire being is hard. And loving me? That's not easy either. Loving isn't easy.
It's supposed to be this explosive connection where two whole people just click... that's the only time you can truly say you love and are loved.
How many people can actually say they've experienced that? Who knows. I'm 25... I have no clue.

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Go ahead and keep deluding yourselves if you must... but I find myself wondering why there is such an overwhelming need to convince everyone else that your specific definition of love is the correct one.

Actually, it would be far more interesting to hear about some actual, lived experiences—tangible manifestations of "your" versions of love... though perhaps I shouldn't even call them love.😛

You talk about love as if it were a person... and I won't even say people talk about God in much the same way... but everything you're describing isn't actually love. Or rather, the terms you're using are already strictly defined elsewhere. You can do better than this.😉

.. I get the feeling you might eventually start showing off your special powers to us 😁 and as for love, I won't be hearing any more about it, not even a little bit.

Oh, Great All-Powerful and All-Knowing one, please reveal to us the secret of love...😁
I separated love from infatuation a long time ago...
It clicked for me ages ago that love isn't about possession—it's about sharing, respect, acceptance, and giving both yourself and your partner the freedom to grow...
Things go sideways when desires, feelings, and dreams start drifting apart... then "love turns into" being demanding and pulling on the leash... but that's not love anymore... it's just a hungry, angry animal that's been neglected for months, if not years...
Nobody owns anyone, and nobody owes anyone anything... those are all just fictions in our heads... and love is just a pleasant fiction... because in reality, there's nothing exists besides this exact moment you're living in... burn out your brain and it's over—bye bye to love, feelings, the good, and the bad...🙂
That's about it from me...

Michael Diaz6 said:For most of my life, I was totally obsessed with perfection. Like, if it wasn't flawless, it wasn't good enough, and I just didn't know how to be anything else.
At the end of the day, you're the one who knows yourself best, including all those messy flaws.
I used to beat myself up over them, honestly. It got to the point where I felt like I didn't even deserve the "perfect" things I was chasing.
So yeah, I wouldn't even dream of getting involved with a guy who seemed perfect to me.
It wasn't about trying to manipulate anyone—I just wanted the freedom to be myself, flaws and all. And the only way to do that was with someone who actually gets it.
The urge to control people completely died after my first boyfriend. I realized it’s just exhausting, and at the end of the day, everyone does their own thing anyway. You can't manipulate me, and you definitely can't change me, so how could I expect to control anyone else when I can't even force myself to be what I want to be?
If I ever stumble upon some magic formula that works on other people, I'll let you know. 🤣

Until then, I'm embracing imperfection. I'm making a conscious effort to fall for the imperfect stuff, because I'm certainly not perfect myself.
That’s not just some cheesy cliché; I mean it. I’m a bit eccentric and don't really fit into a neat little box. I know I *could* fit in—I spent most of my life training myself to be perfect, which helps out in my career and stuff, but in love? It’s a disaster. It leads you straight to guys who don't match your vibe at all. Eventually, you realize that once you're honest about who you are and what you want, very few people actually fit. Honestly, you might have stayed innocent longer if you'd just waited for that one person who fits like a puzzle piece.
Back then, I couldn't figure out why people struggled so much to find a partner when it felt like the world was just overflowing with love...

But once you finally figure out who YOU really are, everything changes. You start seeing your uniqueness. You realize your flaws aren't actually flaws, and that perfection is a myth. If perfection existed, the world would be totally out of whack—you need darkness to define the light, right?
Now, I accept my dark side as part of the whole package. Those shadows are there to highlight my light. My flaws and virtues are all part of the same person.
I don't need perfection anymore because I've realized I'm already perfect in my own weird way. I stopped trying to bend myself to fit things that go against what I actually want. I finally get it now—loving someone's entire being is hard. And loving me? That's not easy either. Loving isn't easy.
It's supposed to be this explosive connection where two whole people just click... that's the only time you can truly say you love and are loved.
How many people can actually say they've experienced that? Who knows. I'm 25... I have no clue.

Based on your posts, you always come off as super positive and upbeat—honestly, I thought you weren't even 20 yet...😁
The stuff you wrote above? I just can't do that for myself... I'm basically a prisoner to this extreme need for perfection and trying to control things that are impossible to control—especially my own feelings. My life feels like a stormy ocean I'm constantly trying to calm down or steer where I want it to go, but obviously, it doesn't work like that. But that urge is so intense that I just can't accept my own imperfections... I feel like I have to experience everything bigger, better, stronger... I have to be more dominant, more confident, know more, love harder, fuck more passionately... Ten years ago, my therapist told me that I'd probably never be a truly happy person no matter what I achieve in life, just because of this obsession with perfection and control... and she was right. I have everything, yet so much is still missing. It's like a moving goalpost—if I hit it in one area, it just shifts to another...
The only exception is my partner. With them, I don't hold anything back and I accept them completely, flaws and all. I can't really explain it, but maybe there's some kind of cosmic compensation happening... somewhere in life you're tightening everything up until you're breathless, and somewhere else you just let go, accept, give, forgive, and support through anything... and I can feel that coming from their side too...
I guess I'm just my own worst enemy...🙂

It feels like these days, unconditional love is becoming a bit of a myth, especially when you look at the grind of the working world where everything seems tied to a paycheck, yet somehow, when you’re tucked away in a university library or a classroom—completely insulated from the crushing weight of bills and financial stress—you find yourself falling head over heels without any reservations whatsoever. 🤣

Tapatalk 2 using mobile - Apple Watch

Donna White50 said:Based on your posts, you always come off as super positive and upbeat—honestly, I thought you weren't even 20 yet...😁
The stuff you wrote above? I just can't do that for myself... I'm basically a prisoner to this extreme need for perfection and trying to control things that are impossible to control—especially my own feelings. My life feels like a stormy ocean I'm constantly trying to calm down or steer where I want it to go, but obviously, it doesn't work like that. But that urge is so intense that I just can't accept my own imperfections... I feel like I have to experience everything bigger, better, stronger... I have to be more dominant, more confident, know more, love harder, fuck more passionately... Ten years ago, my therapist told me that I'd probably never be a truly happy person no matter what I achieve in life, just because of this obsession with perfection and control... and she was right. I have everything, yet so much is still missing. It's like a moving goalpost—if I hit it in one area, it just shifts to another...
The only exception is my partner. With them, I don't hold anything back and I accept them completely, flaws and all. I can't really explain it, but maybe there's some kind of cosmic compensation happening... somewhere in life you're tightening everything up until you're breathless, and somewhere else you just let go, accept, give, forgive, and support through anything... and I can feel that coming from their side too...
I guess I'm just my own worst enemy...🙂

Well, I actually am positive and have a pretty childish spirit, so I guess I'm just showing my true colors.
Kidding, right?
But seriously, underneath that lies a massive issue: overthinking. I tend to analyze things to death. Making decisions is slow and shaky because, just like you, I always want to make the "perfect" choice. I don't allow myself to mess up.
I live this constant battle between logic and feeling. I try to rationalize every single emotion, which is why I never fall in love at first sight. I can even force myself to love someone or stop loving them just so I don't make a bad call.
It's idealism.
I started treating my brain like a filter for my feelings. That filter got so thick that I wouldn't let any emotion disrupt my logical view of perfection. I never showed anger, sadness, rage, or love without having an extensive internal debate about whether it was "appropriate" first.
So, I basically suppressed 90% of my desires.
For me, spontaneity and raw emotion didn't exist.
And that led to my biggest flaws.
It wasn't until I saw where the actual problem was—and realized how everyone else operates (it’s like a total domino effect...)
that I decided to start letting my feelings out and learning to react honestly.
Being spontaneous. It feels liberating.
It's fine to try and rationalize some stuff, but living purely through logic... eventually, you're going to get sick of that mindset.
There is no such thing as a perfect decision or a perfect person.
You just exist as you are.

The only thing anyone should watch out for—the thing that actually leads to a "perfect" life—is making sure you don't do anything whose consequences you aren't ready to handle.
If someone gets mad at me because we don't see eye-to-eye... I can deal with that.
If a guy I love leaves me because I cheated... those are consequences I don't want to face.
If I get cancer from smoking... I definitely don't want those consequences either...

That's the perfect emotional filter.
Most people won't get why this is the perfect pick for you specifically.

Michael Diaz6 said:Well, I actually am positive and have a pretty childish spirit, so I guess I'm just showing my true colors.
Kidding, right?
But seriously, underneath that lies a massive issue: overthinking. I tend to analyze things to death. Making decisions is slow and shaky because, just like you, I always want to make the "perfect" choice. I don't allow myself to mess up.
I live this constant battle between logic and feeling. I try to rationalize every single emotion, which is why I never fall in love at first sight. I can even force myself to love someone or stop loving them just so I don't make a bad call.
It's idealism.
I started treating my brain like a filter for my feelings. That filter got so thick that I wouldn't let any emotion disrupt my logical view of perfection. I never showed anger, sadness, rage, or love without having an extensive internal debate about whether it was "appropriate" first.
So, I basically suppressed 90% of my desires.
For me, spontaneity and raw emotion didn't exist.
And that led to my biggest flaws.
It wasn't until I saw where the actual problem was—and realized how everyone else operates (it’s like a total domino effect...)
that I decided to start letting my feelings out and learning to react honestly.
Being spontaneous. It feels liberating.
It's fine to try and rationalize some stuff, but living purely through logic... eventually, you're going to get sick of that mindset.
There is no such thing as a perfect decision or a perfect person.
You just exist as you are.

The only thing anyone should watch out for—the thing that actually leads to a "perfect" life—is making sure you don't do anything whose consequences you aren't ready to handle.
If someone gets mad at me because we don't see eye-to-eye... I can deal with that.
If a guy I love leaves me because I cheated... those are consequences I don't want to face.
If I get cancer from smoking... I definitely don't want those consequences either...

That's the perfect emotional filter.
Most people won't get why this is the perfect pick for you specifically.

I really value positive people—if you surround yourself with them, you have a real shot at living a happy life. Your posts always bring such a good vibe when I read them... then there's that user Positivax, man, I lose it whenever I read her stuff... she’s basically "the" person on here...😁
I can't stand the grouches—you know, the ones who are furious at themselves before noon and then pissed off at the entire world by lunchtime.
I laugh a lot too, like, sometimes I'll burst out laughing so hard the windows rattle and my neighbors three houses down are wondering what the hell is going on... but it's good for me. It lets go of all those internal brakes I have; I'll literally be doubling over.
Because of a rough childhood, I used to be someone who never let a single emotion out—positive or negative. But lately, I've been slowly letting go... starting to be honest with everyone, venting, expressing myself, just being real. And once you do that, you start feeling good and the problems start fading... though I still struggle with extremes...
I guess you could say life is like a scale trying to stay balanced, constantly pulling the handbrake to keep things "perfect"...
But when the scorpion takes over that scale... when the handbrake is released... I go into these other kinds of extremes. Unbridled passion, craving intense feelings, sexuality, adrenaline, trance states... just this wild release where everything explodes. Dangerous situations, reckless driving...
I'm basically spending my whole life trying to figure out how much to pull the handbrake. If I pull it too hard, everything's blocked. If I let it go completely—it's a flood, and the consequences hit hard...😁
When it comes to love, I just have this massive need to go all out—like, push everything to the absolute limit. It’s honestly the one part of my life where I feel like I can truly be myself without any filters... my partner basically knows me better than I know myself at this point. Love has always been my outlet where I rarely ever hit the brakes... but hey, that's just how it works when you're chasing that perfect harmony. That's when things really bloom, and you see that Scorpio side finally come out to play...😉