Am I just a little slow?

Look, when I decide to be the bad guy, 😈"I’m going all the way. I'll go straight for the jugular,"
because that's where I strike.

I’m a bit of an idiot myself. 👋

I’ve never been much of an open book. If anything, I’ve just gotten more guarded over the years. Someone mentioned being selective about who you let in, but honestly, I don’t bother with the vetting process. It’s not that I’m choosing; it’s just that sharing my inner self doesn't feel natural. Period.

I can hold an opinion during a debate, sure, but I always keep a certain amount of distance from it. As for my actual ideas? They stay to myself unless I’m working on a project where someone else is pulling in the exact same direction.

People have thrown labels at me before—psychopath, sociopath, cold-hearted jerk, emotionally stunted, just plain "off." But since it's coming from friends, I usually just take it as a joke.

When I’m around strangers, the feedback changes. I get called arrogant, a snob, stuck-up, or rude. It happens. A buddy once told me that I come off as incredibly cocky at first, though that impression tends to fade once people actually get to know me. Maybe there’s a grain of truth to the arrogance, but I’ll take it. The thing is, it isn't the malicious kind. It mostly surfaces when things get competitive, acting as a sort of fuel to help me win. And when I lose? Well, then everyone feels justified in mocking me.

So, there it is. A little window into my head.

They would be absolutely clueless 😁.

I’ve never really been one to talk about myself, and honestly, it kind of stings when I realize how people perceive me. I’ve always been pretty quiet and reserved, plus I have a bit of a speech impediment (😍), so there was never any chance of me just blabbing away constantly—especially not around strangers, and definitely not about my own life. The idea of stepping out in front of an audience is just a total nightmare for me; I could never do it.

Besides, I’m not exactly a fan of people who just drone on about themselves without anyone even asking. I can relax once I get to know someone, but even then, I usually only answer questions if they’re directed at me, nothing more. Like, if someone asks what year I graduated, I’ll give them the year and leave it at that, because I find it really hard to volunteer much information about myself 😁

crimsonhound4 said:unknown

unknown sistah 🙂

unknown

I guess I should probably mention that I haven't really heard much from crimsonhound4 lately, though I might just be overthinking things or missing their usual updates. It feels like there's been a bit of a lull in the conversation, which is strange because they usually have such interesting perspectives on everything we discuss here. Maybe they're just busy with work or life getting in the way, but I find myself wondering what they think about the latest news. kaže: I guess there’s this deep-seated belief buried somewhere in your subconscious that talking about yourself is just selfish and, honestly, kind of pointless. Because of that, you probably feel this natural aversion toward anyone who can't stop talking about themselves—and if I'm being honest, maybe you feel that same sense of distaste directed inward toward yourself, too. I guess I wonder why people act like talking about yourself is such a bad thing. It feels like it only becomes an issue if you’re doing it excessively—because, honestly, anything done to excess, whether it's being too loud or too quiet, ends up being a flaw. But beyond that, I don't really see the harm. Your own story could potentially serve as a way to help someone else, maybe offer them some new perspectives, or even just be a tool for building deeper connections and helping yourself grow socially. It seems like a pretty natural part of getting to know one another. Yeah, there’s definitely an element of selfishness involved; but is actually loving yourself really a sin? Honestly, if you ask me, I’d just say: live your life and work your way exactly how you want to, because that is your fundamental right—though I suppose how much of that freedom you actually get to exercise depends entirely on how much value you decide to place on yourself in the first place. Do you actually associate those words—"muddy" or "retarded"—with who you are as a person? I guess if you could somehow work through that part of yourself first, everything else might just fall into place naturally... like, it would just follow from there, directly back to you.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with talking about yourself, you know? I mean, within reason, it’s pretty normal to share bits of your life. But for me, it just doesn't come naturally at all, and honestly, it never really has. I often find myself worrying that I’m being pushy or overbearing, and I get this nagging feeling that my little stories about myself might actually be kind of exhausting or even painful for the person on the other end of the conversation. 😁 It’s been proven time and time again that this is just how things go, so I guess there's really no point in wasting any energy trying to change it. Even with a personality like that, I actually have plenty of friends and I'd consider myself pretty social and talkative, but if you're expecting them to actually say anything meaningful about themselves... well, good luck with that. 😁 I guess it might just be because someone hasn't pointed out a potential weakness to me yet, maybe. 🤔 I don't know, I guess I've just gotten a little lost. 😁

First off, stop calling yourself an idiot. Seriously. Even if you mess up, critique the mistake—don't attack your entire identity.

That fear of exposing a weakness is what's creating the mental block. Maybe you went through something rough in the past, and that's where this whole thing started. What was your childhood like? How much weight do you give to what other people think of you?

In my book, the best way to deal with fears is to face them head-on. You can't run from them because they aren't out there in the world—they're inside you. So, my advice is pretty straightforward: break out of your comfort zone. You've gone to one extreme by holding everything back. Try opening up a little more during deeper conversations with individuals. This could even be someone you barely know—sometimes it's actually easier to be open with a stranger than with people you've known forever. Whether you're "boring" to talk to really depends on the other person; there are plenty of folks who prefer listening over doing all the talking. It's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but there's a solid chance that's exactly how you break those blocks. Once you've tested both sides of the coin, you'll find that balance you're looking for.

There are still 👋

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:First off, stop calling yourself an idiot. Seriously. Even if you mess up, critique the mistake—don't attack your entire identity.

That fear of exposing a weakness is what's creating the mental block. Maybe you went through something rough in the past, and that's where this whole thing started. What was your childhood like? How much weight do you give to what other people think of you?

In my book, the best way to deal with fears is to face them head-on. You can't run from them because they aren't out there in the world—they're inside you. So, my advice is pretty straightforward: break out of your comfort zone. You've gone to one extreme by holding everything back. Try opening up a little more during deeper conversations with individuals. This could even be someone you barely know—sometimes it's actually easier to be open with a stranger than with people you've known forever. Whether you're "boring" to talk to really depends on the other person; there are plenty of folks who prefer listening over doing all the talking. It's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but there's a solid chance that's exactly how you break those blocks. Once you've tested both sides of the coin, you'll find that balance you're looking for.

I don't actually think I'm stupid, 😁 I just tend to speak really fast, so I don't always stop to consider the weight of certain words 😬

To answer your questions... when I was a kid, I was very quiet and unassuming, and I never really talked about myself. Not even in school. I'd talk about anything else, but never about me. It's just always been that way, I guess. I don't think I have any specific trauma that caused me to shut down; it's more just my nature. I rarely ever start a sentence with "I." And honestly, it's still like that today.

Do you mean what people think of me specifically, or just opinions in general? Because, to be honest, I don't really care what people think of me, though I do respect and listen to opinions regarding other matters. I'll actually take them into consideration. For example, like right now 😁

A friend of mine recently insisted that I should talk more about myself. I felt so incredibly awkward about it, but I did try a little bit. 😁

crimsonhound4 said:So, I’ve got this one issue that just seems to follow me around everywhere. I honestly never really talk about myself to anyone. Lately, a few people I’m actually close to have told me that they feel like they don't really know me at all. And don't even get me started on how I come across in groups of strangers—apparently, I just seem like this stuck-up, silent wallflower 😁 It isn't that I feel a burning need to voice my opinions or constantly broadcast my thoughts, desires, feelings, or even just basic greetings. When I go on dates, I find myself just asking questions about their lives the whole time, mostly because it lets them do all the talking so I don't have to say anything about myself 😁 It’s not that I’m naturally a quiet person, per se, but I guess there's just this physical resistance I feel whenever I’m expected to talk about myself. It honestly just feels like too much effort.

Maybe it's because it feels like everyone else is just constantly bragging about themselves, and that kind of behavior just makes me recoil?

I know the irony of me opening up here, but since it's anonymous, I felt like I could finally let it out, even if it's a bit uncomfortable 😍

Is there anyone else out there who feels like this quiet, withdrawn type of person?

You forgot to mention if you're hot or not. If you are, well, at least people can enjoy looking at you, but if you aren't, then please—just run and find a sense of humor immediately before the lack of it gives you a literal tumor.

Also, do you lie often, and can you actually make pizza dough from scratch?

wiredcanyon19 said:You forgot to mention if you're hot or not. If you are, well, at least people can enjoy looking at you, but if you aren't, then please—just run and find a sense of humor immediately before the lack of it gives you a literal tumor.

Also, do you lie often, and can you actually make pizza dough from scratch?

I'm not particularly attractive. And please, don't mess with me here. These are actually pretty serious questions.

I’ve never seen the point in talking about myself. Honestly, I don't have the urge. I also can't stand listening to people drone on about themselves either. The only exception is when it's my inner circle—just two people I actually feel comfortable with. With them, I don't mind opening up.
I really dislike it when people feel the need to recount their entire life story or give me a play-by-play of everything they did that day. It just doesn't interest me.
The same goes for larger social gatherings. Everyone tries to outdo one another, fighting for airtime, but I see zero value in trying to shout over everyone else. People think I'm weird for staying quiet, but whatever. 😁
I have this friend who loves dissecting every tiny detail of her dating life with me. Me? I don't think I've ever shared anything about my romantic life with anyone in my life. xD I just don't get why anyone would want to know those kinds of intimate details.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:First off, stop calling yourself an idiot. Seriously. Even if you mess up, critique the mistake—don't attack your entire identity.

That fear of exposing a weakness is what's creating the mental block. Maybe you went through something rough in the past, and that's where this whole thing started. What was your childhood like? How much weight do you give to what other people think of you?

In my book, the best way to deal with fears is to face them head-on. You can't run from them because they aren't out there in the world—they're inside you. So, my advice is pretty straightforward: break out of your comfort zone. You've gone to one extreme by holding everything back. Try opening up a little more during deeper conversations with individuals. This could even be someone you barely know—sometimes it's actually easier to be open with a stranger than with people you've known forever. Whether you're "boring" to talk to really depends on the other person; there are plenty of folks who prefer listening over doing all the talking. It's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but there's a solid chance that's exactly how you break those blocks. Once you've tested both sides of the coin, you'll find that balance you're looking for.

Why jump straight to the assumption that this trait is a flaw, or even some byproduct of childhood trauma? Is it really that weird for people to just be born that way?

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:First off, stop calling yourself an idiot. Seriously. Even if you mess up, critique the mistake—don't attack your entire identity.

That fear of exposing a weakness is what's creating the mental block. Maybe you went through something rough in the past, and that's where this whole thing started. What was your childhood like? How much weight do you give to what other people think of you?

In my book, the best way to deal with fears is to face them head-on. You can't run from them because they aren't out there in the world—they're inside you. So, my advice is pretty straightforward: break out of your comfort zone. You've gone to one extreme by holding everything back. Try opening up a little more during deeper conversations with individuals. This could even be someone you barely know—sometimes it's actually easier to be open with a stranger than with people you've known forever. Whether you're "boring" to talk to really depends on the other person; there are plenty of folks who prefer listening over doing all the talking. It's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but there's a solid chance that's exactly how you break those blocks. Once you've tested both sides of the coin, you'll find that balance you're looking for.

So, once they've labeled someone as having a "Problem," they immediately start peddling solutions to get that person back on the Right Path and fit them into the "Normal" crowd.

It's this kind of mindset that starts threads like this, where people feel like outsiders because society views them as weirdos. Honestly, there's no reason for it. Why use chatterboxes and loudmouths as the gold standard? From the perspective of the quiet ones, those talkative types are the actual oddities. It’s all about perspective, but it's pretty pathetic when people from either camp get diagnosed with a "problem" and branded as freaks. Usually, the quieter ones suffer more simply because the loudmouths have faster tongues to spread rumors.

Besides, what's wrong with being selective about how much you share with the world? Why should people with these traits feel forced to change? Even with family, spouses, or best friends, you don't always have to lay every private thought bare. Everyone has a circle of friends, who have their own circles, and so on, in an endless chain. In the end, everyone knows things they probably shouldn't.

At the end of the day, it's easiest to just accept that some people love the spotlight, some hate it, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. There's no problem there.

Megan Wood12 said:I’ve never seen the point in talking about myself. Honestly, I don't have the urge. I also can't stand listening to people drone on about themselves either. The only exception is when it's my inner circle—just two people I actually feel comfortable with. With them, I don't mind opening up.
I really dislike it when people feel the need to recount their entire life story or give me a play-by-play of everything they did that day. It just doesn't interest me.
The same goes for larger social gatherings. Everyone tries to outdo one another, fighting for airtime, but I see zero value in trying to shout over everyone else. People think I'm weird for staying quiet, but whatever. 😁
I have this friend who loves dissecting every tiny detail of her dating life with me. Me? I don't think I've ever shared anything about my romantic life with anyone in my life. xD I just don't get why anyone would want to know those kinds of intimate details.

Conversing with individuals like that can be a truly agonizing experience. I have occasionally found myself on the receiving end of intense life stories, tragedies, and deep personal confessions from women I had only just met. It creates such an awkward dynamic because I find myself without anything meaningful to contribute, nor am I particularly interested in the subject matter, but these people tend to become so immersed in their own narratives that it almost feels irrelevant whether you have a comment or not; they simply refuse to stop talking.

Quincy:

I have this friend who seems to feel a constant need to dissect her romantic life in painstaking detail and then recount every single bit to me. It is quite a contrast, I suppose, because I don't think I have ever truly shared anything regarding my own love life with anyone, if that is even possible. I am never quite sure why someone would feel the need to broadcast such things, particularly when they involve matters of such an intimate nature.

There are those specific coffee shops where the entire afternoon is dedicated to the meticulous dissection of romantic lives—we pore over old text messages, re-examine conversations with exes, and debate the nuances of current flings. But I suppose even that level of scrutiny feels somewhat incomplete. It seems we also feel compelled to analyze the complicated romantic entanglements of acquaintances, those friends you only truly know through their storytelling, or perhaps people you encounter just once and never see again. 🙏
I suppose my greatest pleasure lies in dissecting and analyzing my own preferences and tastes, even when they stand in such diametric opposition to those of others; though, I must add, I have never once hinted at them through my comments or stories in a way that would give anyone reason to take offense.

Quincy:

I suppose there isn't much to say regarding zoki89, though I imagine they might have some thoughts on the matter if they felt inclined to share them. Kevin Gomez10 says: I suppose the most effective way to confront one's fears is to realize that there is really nowhere to run. They aren't some external force or an obstacle in the outside world that you can simply outpace; rather, they seem to reside entirely within oneself.

I suppose one might wonder what kind of underlying anxieties or deep-seated issues drive individuals to constantly broadcast every minute detail of their lives, offering up such continuous confessions to anyone who will listen. Perhaps it stems from a profound fear of rejection or social isolation, though I suspect there might be something else at play—maybe a persistent, almost restless need for external validation and constant attention from those around them.
I suppose one might wonder, then, exactly what the basis for that would be. Perhaps it might be considered somewhat more conventional. I suppose one might consider this to be our own version. It seems we are once again dealing with a certain level of stunted closed-mindedness, I suppose.?

Looking good is just a nice little bonus... 🤣

crimsonhound4 said:There are still 👋

I don't actually think I'm stupid, 😁 I just tend to speak really fast, so I don't always stop to consider the weight of certain words 😬

To answer your questions... when I was a kid, I was very quiet and unassuming, and I never really talked about myself. Not even in school. I'd talk about anything else, but never about me. It's just always been that way, I guess. I don't think I have any specific trauma that caused me to shut down; it's more just my nature. I rarely ever start a sentence with "I." And honestly, it's still like that today.

Do you mean what people think of me specifically, or just opinions in general? Because, to be honest, I don't really care what people think of me, though I do respect and listen to opinions regarding other matters. I'll actually take them into consideration. For example, like right now 😁

A friend of mine recently insisted that I should talk more about myself. I felt so incredibly awkward about it, but I did try a little bit. 😁

I know you didn't truly mean those things about yourself 🙂. Still, you should probably watch out for those rapid-fire negative thoughts. It’s better to nip them in the bud before they turn into a long-term attitude problem.

If there aren't any traumas involved and you aren't bothered by what others think, then you really are just a natural listener. It sounds like the issue is simply that you aren't used to stepping outside your comfort zone. In other words, try my advice: practice opening up about yourself when the situation feels right, just to get rid of that sense of discomfort and fear. Like with that friend 🙂. After that, just go back to being your usual self.

Nicole Morgan55 said:Why jump straight to the assumption that this trait is a flaw, or even some byproduct of childhood trauma? Is it really that weird for people to just be born that way?

So, once they've labeled someone as having a "Problem," they immediately start peddling solutions to get that person back on the Right Path and fit them into the "Normal" crowd.

It's this kind of mindset that starts threads like this, where people feel like outsiders because society views them as weirdos. Honestly, there's no reason for it. Why use chatterboxes and loudmouths as the gold standard? From the perspective of the quiet ones, those talkative types are the actual oddities. It’s all about perspective, but it's pretty pathetic when people from either camp get diagnosed with a "problem" and branded as freaks. Usually, the quieter ones suffer more simply because the loudmouths have faster tongues to spread rumors.

Besides, what's wrong with being selective about how much you share with the world? Why should people with these traits feel forced to change? Even with family, spouses, or best friends, you don't always have to lay every private thought bare. Everyone has a circle of friends, who have their own circles, and so on, in an endless chain. In the end, everyone knows things they probably shouldn't.

At the end of the day, it's easiest to just accept that some people love the spotlight, some hate it, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. There's no problem there.

Because she mentioned that talking about herself feels uncomfortable and she's worried someone might find her weak point. She's saying it's just her nature—talking about herself would just be boring to her. Once she gets past that initial hurdle, everything is fine.

Kevin Gomez10 said:Conversing with individuals like that can be a truly agonizing experience. I have occasionally found myself on the receiving end of intense life stories, tragedies, and deep personal confessions from women I had only just met. It creates such an awkward dynamic because I find myself without anything meaningful to contribute, nor am I particularly interested in the subject matter, but these people tend to become so immersed in their own narratives that it almost feels irrelevant whether you have a comment or not; they simply refuse to stop talking.

Quincy:

I have this friend who seems to feel a constant need to dissect her romantic life in painstaking detail and then recount every single bit to me. It is quite a contrast, I suppose, because I don't think I have ever truly shared anything regarding my own love life with anyone, if that is even possible. I am never quite sure why someone would feel the need to broadcast such things, particularly when they involve matters of such an intimate nature.

There are those specific coffee shops where the entire afternoon is dedicated to the meticulous dissection of romantic lives—we pore over old text messages, re-examine conversations with exes, and debate the nuances of current flings. But I suppose even that level of scrutiny feels somewhat incomplete. It seems we also feel compelled to analyze the complicated romantic entanglements of acquaintances, those friends you only truly know through their storytelling, or perhaps people you encounter just once and never see again. 🙏
I suppose my greatest pleasure lies in dissecting and analyzing my own preferences and tastes, even when they stand in such diametric opposition to those of others; though, I must add, I have never once hinted at them through my comments or stories in a way that would give anyone reason to take offense.

Quincy:

I suppose there isn't much to say regarding zoki89, though I imagine they might have some thoughts on the matter if they felt inclined to share them. Kevin Gomez10 says: I suppose the most effective way to confront one's fears is to realize that there is really nowhere to run. They aren't some external force or an obstacle in the outside world that you can simply outpace; rather, they seem to reside entirely within oneself.

I suppose one might wonder what kind of underlying anxieties or deep-seated issues drive individuals to constantly broadcast every minute detail of their lives, offering up such continuous confessions to anyone who will listen. Perhaps it stems from a profound fear of rejection or social isolation, though I suspect there might be something else at play—maybe a persistent, almost restless need for external validation and constant attention from those around them.
I suppose one might wonder, then, exactly what the basis for that would be. Perhaps it might be considered somewhat more conventional. I suppose one might consider this to be our own version. It seems we are once again dealing with a certain level of stunted closed-mindedness, I suppose.?

It isn't "more normal," and it isn't "weirder" either. It's just different. Like you said, that constant, frantic grab for attention usually stems from deep-seated personal insecurities and a terrifying sense of being left out.

Alright. I've been sitting here thinking about everything you all have said, and I guess I've really taken it all to heart 🙂