What makes someone likable or unlikable to you?

hiddenrider66 said:Yesterday we were going down a rabbit hole discussing the situation in Ukraine, and one guy on the forum dropped this line about downed aircraft and dead pilots: "Their aviation problem is solved because the planes are grounded and the pilots are grounded too." Honestly, the cynicism just floored me. Calling dead people—actual pilots who lost their lives—just "grounded"... I found him completely repulsive. Turns out, I was the only one bothered by it. Everyone else seemed to think it was a clever little joke or some witty comeback. What do you all think? Is someone who talks like that actually "charismatic," or just a jerk?

Some people just want to be edgy for the sake of it, without even realizing what they're saying. It isn't necessarily about whether they are a "nice" person or an "unpleasant" one; it’s more that they seem completely oblivious to their own stupidity.

hiddenrider66 said:Yesterday we were going down a rabbit hole discussing the situation in Ukraine, and one guy on the forum dropped this line about downed aircraft and dead pilots: "Their aviation problem is solved because the planes are grounded and the pilots are grounded too." Honestly, the cynicism just floored me. Calling dead people—actual pilots who lost their lives—just "grounded"... I found him completely repulsive. Turns out, I was the only one bothered by it. Everyone else seemed to think it was a clever little joke or some witty comeback. What do you all think? Is someone who talks like that actually "charismatic," or just a jerk?

I’d actually find them charming precisely because they can say something like that about dead people. It irritates me when people treat death like some massive social taboo, when really, it's just a standard part of life.

redbear2 said:I’d actually find them charming precisely because they can say something like that about dead people. It irritates me when people treat death like some massive social taboo, when really, it's just a standard part of life.

I don't think it's really about making death a taboo, though. To me, it feels more like a matter of basic respect for the families and friends left behind. Imagine being someone scrolling through the internet and stumbling upon a comment saying your loved one was "laid to rest" or something similar—it's harsh. I think any one of us could easily find ourselves in that position, and it's pretty clear we wouldn't want to stumble upon callous comments like that about someone who meant the world to us, regardless of how others might view them.

Raymond Walker5 said:I don't think it's really about making death a taboo, though. To me, it feels more like a matter of basic respect for the families and friends left behind. Imagine being someone scrolling through the internet and stumbling upon a comment saying your loved one was "laid to rest" or something similar—it's harsh. I think any one of us could easily find ourselves in that position, and it's pretty clear we wouldn't want to stumble upon callous comments like that about someone who meant the world to us, regardless of how others might view them.

You’re taking death way too seriously. People pass away every single day; you just have to accept it. There’s nothing wrong with someone being a little reckless with their words regarding it.

I've always had a soft spot for people with a real sense of humor—folks who actually make an effort to get to know you, show some empathy, and have actual interests and a genuine zest for life. And honestly? It’s great when someone can lift your spirits when you're feeling low, especially if they aren't too afraid to admit they need that same boost sometimes.

There are plenty of traits I can't stand, but nothing gets under my skin more than someone being genuinely malicious or acting like they're better than everyone else. That kind of arrogance... it just really bugs me.

redbear2 said:You’re taking death way too seriously. People pass away every single day; you just have to accept it. There’s nothing wrong with someone being a little reckless with their words regarding it.

I think you might be missing my point entirely, don't you?
While I tend to view the concept of mortality with a bit more detachment than you do, I certainly don't dismiss the genuine suffering of those left behind by a loss.

Raymond Walker5 said:I think you might be missing my point entirely, don't you?
While I tend to view the concept of mortality with a bit more detachment than you do, I certainly don't dismiss the genuine suffering of those left behind by a loss.

No, rather you just haven't grasped what I was actually getting at. My point is simple: people need to accept that loved ones pass away because it's just part of the human condition. They shouldn't be blindsided by it being brought up, especially by some random stranger on the internet.
People lose someone dear to them every single day. If we all had to walk on eggshells constantly, we'd never get anything done.

redbear2 said:No, rather you just haven't grasped what I was actually getting at. My point is simple: people need to accept that loved ones pass away because it's just part of the human condition. They shouldn't be blindsided by it being brought up, especially by some random stranger on the internet.
People lose someone dear to them every single day. If we all had to walk on eggshells constantly, we'd never get anything done.

So, what you're saying is someone should just "get over" the fact that a loved one is dying? Or am I supposed to just "get over" the fact that someone else's loved one passed away? 🤣
And what exactly is this bolded part meant to imply? Is your entire existence centered around mocking the deceased? It sounds almost like an addiction—as if you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if someone took that outlet away.
As for "tip-toeing around them"? Who exactly is asking you to do that? All anyone asks is that you don't stick your nose into places where you aren't welcome.
By that logic, why shouldn't I stand on a street corner in Chicago and shout insults at someone in a wheelchair? Why should I be restricted in my pursuit of such intense enjoyment?
Following that line of thought, why should anyone restrict you from making jokes about the dead, or even going so far as to call a grieving family and laugh at them over the phone for losing someone? Go ahead, tell them it's perfectly normal for their loved ones to die and that they should just accept it. Try to force some kind of logic onto the pile of nonsense you're promoting just to convince yourself that this is actually okay—that people should just "snap out of it" and realize that their departed relatives are nothing more than great material for your jokes. After all, the sheer thrill you get from mocking someone whose family just lost a person in a tragic car accident is something that deserves recognition. Maybe they should let you write "witty" and "hilarious" commentary under every tragedy reported in the local news.
Oh, I don't know... who knows? Maybe it would actually bring a smile to their faces, since they can't get their loved ones back anyway, right? Tell them clearly to stop fighting it and understand that YOU HAVE A NEED to turn the death of their family members into a punchline.
Or better yet... no... why don't you just show up at the family's front door, start cracking jokes about their "departed" loved ones, and then let them decide your fate for themselves? 😉

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said it was okay to mock someone or laugh in their face, just that people shouldn't be acting out over the internet. Get lost. I'm not interested in going back and forth with people who aren't making any sense.

redbear2 said:Don't put words in my mouth. I never said it was okay to mock someone or laugh in their face, just that people shouldn't be acting out over the internet. Get lost. I'm not interested in going back and forth with people who aren't making any sense.

If you think it's perfectly fine to joke around like that online, then why wouldn't you just say it to their face? Go ahead, tell them it's totally acceptable to joke that way. What’s the hold-up? It seems to me you actually know deep down that saying those things to someone's face isn't right—which is why you wait until you're behind a screen. Real classy move there.

redbear2 said:No, rather you just haven't grasped what I was actually getting at. My point is simple: people need to accept that loved ones pass away because it's just part of the human condition. They shouldn't be blindsided by it being brought up, especially by some random stranger on the internet.
People lose someone dear to them every single day. If we all had to walk on eggshells constantly, we'd never get anything done.

Don't go acting like your opinion is some absolute truth that only idiots can't wrap their heads around.
I get what you're aiming at—people die constantly, often people they love, and it's a totally normal part of existence.
But, I guess, generally speaking maybe, but on an individual level? No. You can't just tell some guy who has spent his whole life learning how to grieve to suddenly become indifferent to it, or even better, start cracking jokes about funerals just to lighten the mood.
Not everyone can be Mersault (and even he ends up emotionally broken by the end of the book).

As for the topic...
Likable people—an honest smile plays a huge role in whether someone comes across as likable.
Unlikable people—that's actually a bit easier. Egoists, people who never laugh or give fake smiles, people who are completely disconnected from any sense of humor and think their opinion is universal truth (like those terrible clerks at the DMV 😁 ).

Most people making jokes about dying in a foreign country are just terrified of their own mortality. They’re masking a deep-seated fear of death with cheap, cynical humor...

I can't stand people who lack tact or empathy—those condescending egomaniacs. On the flip side, I actually like people who aren't like that. 🙂

Raymond Walker5 said:If you think it's perfectly fine to joke around like that online, then why wouldn't you just say it to their face? Go ahead, tell them it's totally acceptable to joke that way. What’s the hold-up? It seems to me you actually know deep down that saying those things to someone's face isn't right—which is why you wait until you're behind a screen. Real classy move there.

That’s not really the point. In person, I can read the room. I know how people react to certain comments, so when I'm around people who tend to blow up over everything, I just don't say anything that might trigger a scene.

If someone were spreading lies about a deceased person just to smear their reputation without any basis in reality, then yeah, that's wrong. But I don't see the issue with a dark joke that doesn't actually drag down the memory of the person who passed. 🤷

The whole thing just feels like a bunch of fake morality to me.

redbear2 said:That’s not really the point. In person, I can read the room. I know how people react to certain comments, so when I'm around people who tend to blow up over everything, I just don't say anything that might trigger a scene.

If someone were spreading lies about a deceased person just to smear their reputation without any basis in reality, then yeah, that's wrong. But I don't see the issue with a dark joke that doesn't actually drag down the memory of the person who passed. 🤷

The whole thing just feels like a bunch of fake morality to me.

There is a massive difference between making a dark joke among your close friends and posting public comments the very next day after someone loses their life—especially when you know the victim's family and friends are scrolling through those same threads. First off, having basic empathy and human decency is everything in a situation like that. You have absolutely no idea what those families are going through right now. They are dealing with an unimaginable loss, and the last thing they need is some small-minded person online making light of their loved one's passing. It’s just unnecessary.

So, let me get this straight. Imagine a semi-truck accidentally runs over a car, and inside that car was a woman—someone who was a wife, a daughter, and a mother to her kids. And then you just sit there and type, "Well, at least there were pancakes in there." Then, someone who actually lost that person—someone for whom she was their entire world—reads your comment, and you honestly expect them to just take that as a normal thing to say? Are you seriously okay with that?

Just because you have the legal right to be an absolute moron doesn't mean you actually should.
You know, there’s that one corner of the internet—one of those dark, gritty sites where they host photos of people who’ve been killed in car wrecks or other terrible accidents, along with footage of some truly gruesome crashes. It’s heavy stuff. But what really gets to me is the comment section underneath those images of mutilated bodies. People leave these absolutely vile, disgusting comments... honestly, just mocking the victims and being incredibly disrespectful. It's pretty unsettling.
Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean it's actually right.

It isn’t really about the rights of the deceased here—they don't have much to worry about at this point anyway. It's truly about those left behind, the people for whom those departed actually meant something.

Raymond Walker5 said:There is a massive difference between making a dark joke among your close friends and posting public comments the very next day after someone loses their life—especially when you know the victim's family and friends are scrolling through those same threads. First off, having basic empathy and human decency is everything in a situation like that. You have absolutely no idea what those families are going through right now. They are dealing with an unimaginable loss, and the last thing they need is some small-minded person online making light of their loved one's passing. It’s just unnecessary.

So, let me get this straight. Imagine a semi-truck accidentally runs over a car, and inside that car was a woman—someone who was a wife, a daughter, and a mother to her kids. And then you just sit there and type, "Well, at least there were pancakes in there." Then, someone who actually lost that person—someone for whom she was their entire world—reads your comment, and you honestly expect them to just take that as a normal thing to say? Are you seriously okay with that?

Just because you have the legal right to be an absolute moron doesn't mean you actually should.
You know, there’s that one corner of the internet—one of those dark, gritty sites where they host photos of people who’ve been killed in car wrecks or other terrible accidents, along with footage of some truly gruesome crashes. It’s heavy stuff. But what really gets to me is the comment section underneath those images of mutilated bodies. People leave these absolutely vile, disgusting comments... honestly, just mocking the victims and being incredibly disrespectful. It's pretty unsettling.
Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean it's actually right.

It isn’t really about the rights of the deceased here—they don't have much to worry about at this point anyway. It's truly about those left behind, the people for whom those departed actually meant something.

Well, I guess I just lack basic empathy and decency then.

Calling someone an idiot? You realize how insulting that sounds? Where's the empathy? How do you think someone feels being called an idiot, or even just anyone else reading your post and seeing themselves reflected in that attitude?

So, let me get this straight. A semi-truck rolls over a car carrying a woman who was a wife, a daughter, and a mother, and you think it's fine to comment something like "at least there were pancakes in there"? And then someone for whom she meant everything reads that, and we're supposed to act like that's perfectly normal behavior? You're really okay with that?

Honestly, I'd prefer the one involving those grounded pilots.

Just because it's legally permissible to be a complete moron doesn't mean you actually should be. It reminds me of those websites where people post photos of accident victims or footage of horrific crashes, and underneath images of mangled bodies, people leave these disgusting comments or try to make jokes.
Even if it's legal to do that, it doesn't make it right.

I agree.

This isn't about the rights of the deceased—they don't care anymore. It's about the people left behind who actually cared about them.

I get that. But I think a family would be much more hurt by someone trying to smear the reputation of their late loved one than by some shitty internet joke that's more about the situation itself than the person.

Just sugarcoat it if you have to. You can try to convince yourself that garbage isn't garbage all you want, but you don't need to waste your breath trying to convince me.

I’ve always had a bit of a hard time with government bureaucrats—you know, those types who can't even look you in the eye, the brown-nosers, the people playing favorites just to get ahead, or those who are just plain rude and ill-mannered. I also can't really stand people who lack any sense of backbone, folks who let their own kids walk all over them, or people who are just way too submissive and spineless.

On the other hand, I really gravitate toward people who can laugh at themselves, who stay honest, and who don't let their ego get in the way of everything.

Ugh.

Eric Gray2 said:Alright, so have you two finally admitted that you just can't stand each other? 🙂 Can we move past the petty drama now and actually get back to the topic at hand? 🥳

Sure thing. 😉

You could have also pointed out that he deserved a penalty for being disrespectful. ☕

I’ve always found myself drawn to people who possess a genuine sense of self. There is an unmistakable sincerity about them that you can pick up on instantly through their body language and the way they carry themselves. I have a deep respect for those who can laugh at their own misfortunes instead of turning every minor setback into a theatrical production.

On the flip side, I find nothing more off-putting than individuals who wear their coldness like a badge of honor or those who perform a persona rather than being themselves. The former often seem like hollow vessels serving nothing but their own egos—unreliable, vacuous, and ultimately quite bitter. As for the actors, they are just insufferable with their forced politeness and artificial mannerisms.