Matthew Clark3 said:Thanks, Nicholas Gonzalez8. It seems like others either aren't going through this or they’re just ignoring my struggle because they don't know how to respond. The thing is, I have the willpower—plenty of it—and the energy, too, but after just a few minutes, I just... shut down. I hit a wall. I try taking it slow, but there really isn't any other way to do this. Then it triggers this whole secondary cycle: my self-esteem takes another hit—which, as I mentioned, isn't exactly high to begin with—and that leads to stress, which then brings on the panic attacks. My career requires constant learning and, above all, logic, something I've clearly lost at this stage of my life. Physical labor that doesn't require much thinking isn't an issue for me. But I can't wrap my head around the idea of doing that for the rest of my life (if I can even find a job at all). I don't want to spend my entire existence as a janitor, for instance, or just being someone's errand runner. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against that kind of work; I've done it before and I could do it again. I wouldn't turn down a job just to have something to do. And I don't think cleaners or anyone in those roles are less intelligent because of their jobs, but I still can't accept the reality that I might be forced to apply only for those positions because my brain just won't function the way it used to.
Maybe you could look into some different study techniques or different ways of approaching things to make learning easier. A lot of people carry around those old-school rote memorization habits they picked up back in elementary school, but honestly? That is hands-down the least efficient way to actually retain anything.
Stress isn't really about what's happening to you; it's more about how you react to it. Try to stay fully aware of your own thoughts and how you're responding, and then slowly start shifting those patterns. Every crappy situation actually holds a tiny window of opportunity, even when we hate everything about it. If you find that opening and grab it, you'll start feeling a lot better.
Self-confidence is a lot more stable than just a temporary mood, and it's something you build over a lifetime. It upgrades every single area of your life and just makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. Confident people actually believe in what they can do. Because of that, they handle problems and whatever nonsense other people say much better. Here’s a few pointers on building that up:
a) Accept yourself, flaws and all, and stop beating yourself up with guilt or regret. You can't go back and change the past, but you are the one running the show right now, so you're building your future today. At the same time, work on owning your mistakes and actually learning from them. Those setbacks? They can actually become the foundation for something new.
b) Don't attack your character; just critique your bad actions. Make an effort to give yourself credit when you actually nail something. Doing that builds up a sense of satisfaction and keeps you motivated.
c) Put together a list of your wins so far, including things you're actually good at. This could be anything—degrees you earned, big wins at work, being good at a sport, an art project, or even just random skills you've picked up. Reminding yourself of what you've accomplished helps rebuild that belief in yourself, bit by bit.
d) Hang out with people who are optimistic and confident. Surround yourself with them. You'll naturally pick up on their mindset and how they carry themselves. If you fill your life with decent, positive people, you're going to feel a lot happier overall.
e) Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and quit worrying about what they think of you. Most people are way too busy obsessing over their own lives and problems to spend much time judging yours—and if they do, it's usually superficial anyway. Listen to people, sure, but be smart about whose advice you actually take. There are billions of different people out there; you're going to be someone's favorite and someone else's headache. You can't please everyone. Trust me on that. So don't bend yourself out of shape to fit in; just live your life.
That said,
do pay attention to how you present yourself. Dress well, but don't go overboard. When you look put-together, you tend to attract more positive vibes from others, and you'll notice it gives your own confidence a boost too.
f) Go out and learn new things; stack up some wins. These don't have to be huge milestones. Just aim to learn or accomplish one small thing every single day. It creates this sense of momentum, and as you see yourself progressing, your confidence grows. For example, you could learn a few new words in a different language, meet someone new, or even just get moving with a workout.
g) Try leaning on one or more positive affirmations. For instance, something like, "Every single day, I’m becoming a happier, more successful version of myself." It sounds simple—maybe even a bit cheesy if you're skeptical—but honestly, those kinds of statements hit your subconscious hard and actually start reshaping your reality.
