Internet and gaming addiction: URGENT help needed!

First off, I’d like to ask the mods if we can please keep this as a standalone thread. I’m looking for specific advice regarding a unique situation I’m about to describe. I’m not here to have a general debate about how many hours behind a screen constitutes an addiction or anything like that. This is a real, urgent problem, and things are starting to spiral out of control.

My brother is a year younger than me and he's currently a senior in high school. He hasn't shown up to class in days, and the reason seems to be a massive addiction to the internet and online gaming (at least, that's how we see it). He spends literally every waking second at his computer from the moment he gets home until he goes to sleep. I never see him studying, let alone hanging out with friends outside. He was always more of a loner, but even his social circle is mostly online; he doesn't really hang out with people in person or play sports like other "normal" guys his age. But this has escalated into a major crisis. For weeks now, he's been skipping school, claiming he's just "done" with it because his grades are too low and he wants to take a break. Now he's saying he plans to finish his diploma through an online equivalency program next year. It was such a shock to my parents and me. No matter how much we talk to him, plead with him, or beg him to just push through this last semester, he stays completely cold and detached. He just sits there, glued to that screen.

Honestly, I’m lost. He keeps trying to convince me that everything is fine—that he's just over school and that plenty of his online friends have done the exact same thing. I can't wrap my head around it. I know something is seriously wrong, but I don't know how to help him. My parents and I have tried setting boundaries, like cutting off the Wi-Fi or even turning off the power, but it backfires completely. He becomes incredibly aggressive, shouting and throwing things for hours until we finally give in and turn it back on. We can't just cut the internet permanently because we need it for work and running our lives.
My mom has reached out to psychologists a few times, but none of them have given us any practical guidance. Everything they say is just generic stuff like "he needs to socialize more," "he should join a club," or "he needs to get into sports." If we even suggest that to him, he just starts screaming at us to leave him alone, insisting he doesn't want those things and that we can't force him.
Right now, I feel like we're hitting a wall. I've spent hours scouring the web, but most of what I find is about younger kids or early teens; I can't find anything useful for someone his age. This forum is honestly our last resort. I'm hoping someone here has dealt with something similar or knows someone who has. Or, if anyone knows if there's a specific psychological diagnosis for this kind of behavior, please let me know so I know what to search for. We are truly desperate.😢

Oh, sure, it’s the classic addiction to online content.
FOMO—fear of missing out.
People used to say this kind of addiction would eventually be classified as a formal mental disorder... whether it actually has been officially added? I really don't know.
At its core, though, it falls under the umbrella of obsessive-compulsive disorders.
It might feel strange to read, but that is simply the reality of it.
The internet becomes the obsession, while the compulsion—that frantic scrolling just to vent anxiety—is the repetitive behavior.
That is how it ought to be treated, of course, though everything ultimately depends on a professional's assessment.
The internet itself, or the computer, aren't actually to blame for triggering the addiction, even if we tend to take that for granted; rather, the issue lies within individual struggles known in psychology as impulse control disorders.
In other words, the internet is merely the medium through which these difficulties manifest.
The root cause is often the parent. You can try to run from that truth, but you won't get very far.
It’s that same parent—and I suspect you played a part too—who chose "peace and quiet at home" as the priority, making it easiest to just say, "go to the computer," so you could have a few hours of silence.
Now, that choice is coming back to haunt you.
Specifically, you won't find help just anywhere; you’d likely need to look toward somewhere like the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. (Washington, D.C., I believe... near Kennedy Street...)
Treatment typically lasts anywhere from six months to three years.
We are talking about psychotherapy, lifestyle changes, breaking habits, and in extreme cases, pharmacotherapy.
But without a fundamental change in approach from your side, it’s all for nothing—there is no point or purpose in trying if you don't commit.
The computer must be kept in a common area, not tucked away in his bedroom. That is the essential first step.
Set an alarm on the phone, and once it goes off, the computer time for the day is over. Period.
Force more social interaction, contact with other kids, and definitely some kind of physical activity.
This type of addiction is incredibly difficult; it requires a massive amount of time and a lot of nerves.

For me, the trick was playing those puzzle games—you know, the ones where you have to crack codes and stuff. They got boring so fast that within a year, I’d completely kicked my PC gaming addiction. But look, I did that on purpose; I actually wanted to quit. From what I'm seeing here, this kid doesn't exactly have that same drive.

So, if you want my two cents, you really need to dig deep and figure out what’s actually pulling him toward the screen. What was he obsessed with before all this? Use that logic to find something in the real world that can grab his attention instead. Maybe a long family road trip through the National Parks would help—get him away from the desk, reconnect with everyone, and show him there's more to life than a monitor.

Another way to handle this is by building a system based on mutual respect. Let him pick up some extracurriculars or focus on his grades, and then he earns his screen time as a reward. If he breaks the deal? Don't lose your cool, just shut the computer off. Make it clear that he's the one deciding whether he gets to play or not. You've got to teach him that every choice comes with a consequence.

And whatever you do, don't let him pull a fast one on you by throwing tantrums or acting out to get his way.

Wow, Hon, LOL, CoD, eFootball, and all that other junk can really suck you into a void where the real world doesn't exist.
Anyone here actually get what I'm talking about?🙂
It’s definitely an addiction, but a harmless one... give it a month of staying away and you'll be fine.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that just taking a month off from gaming is a magic fix for everything. 🙂

Honestly, gaming and internet addiction is turning into such a massive issue in modern society. I really feel like it’s high time we started treating it with the seriousness it deserves, both from a clinical standpoint and as a broader social concern.

In this specific situation, I think we're looking at a pretty heavy-duty problem, especially when you factor in the age of the person struggling and all those other complicating variables.
The biggest hurdle, though, is that the kid doesn't even seem to realize there's an issue, let alone have any desire to fix it. If parents try to step in with bans, hiding the PC, or some other kind of strict crackdown, it usually just backfires—you end up with a lot of resentment and someone who just gets better at hiding their habits.
That's why I'm on board with the idea that real psychotherapy and professional counseling might be necessary, maybe even medical intervention if things are bad enough. I highly doubt a simple heart-to-heart around the kitchen table is going to cut it here.

Psychotherapy? Please. What kind of treatment is gonna fix schizophrenia? Addiction is just like anything else—you only beat it when you finally realize you're done with the bullshit and decide you don't want to live like this anymore... or if you run out of cash to buy your fix.🙂
I know plenty of hardcore smokers who were fine until their doctor showed them an X-ray of their lungs and told them they’d be dead within a year if they didn't quit. Or once they start coughing up blood and see firsthand how many people just drop dead overnight.
Try putting someone on probation where they have to maintain certain grades, or making sure they only get enough of a paycheck to play video games all day before their PC ends up on Craigslist. Then you'll see them snap out of it. But trying to force someone away from what they actually want to do? That's basically impossible.
That's the honest truth.

My brother was completely addicted to gaming and the internet... he wouldn't talk to anyone, and even threats didn't do a thing. In the end, he had to check into a rehab facility on Main Street (I think someone already mentioned it earlier)... He spent months there, but honestly, things have finally started looking up.

Thanks to everyone who’s jumped in so far with advice. I just wanted to add one thing: contrary to what a few people mentioned above, neither my parents nor I ever told my brother to just go sit at his computer to calm down. It was actually the exact opposite—we were always telling him to turn it off more often so he could hang out with us, watch a movie, run errands, or just talk. So, I really don't think he was being neglected.

Regarding the suggestions about seeing a psychiatrist, we've thought about it several times ourselves. Honestly, it felt unthinkable at first because we didn't view him as "sick," but now we'd try anything just to help him. The catch is, as > and > pointed out, he doesn't even realize there's an issue. The second we even mention a psychologist or a psychiatrist, he just shakes his head and calls us crazy for thinking he needs it. We've tried to talk him into going for just one session, but nothing works.

>, you mentioned that you had to hospitalize your cousin. I'm really curious how you managed that? Did he go willingly, or was it more of an involuntary situation?

Parents, please reach out to the Cenacolo Community. We’re seeing way more kids dealing with this lately. 👍Just stay firm. You got this!
If you're confused about anything, just ask. Happy to help.

lonehawk81 said:First off, I’d like to ask the mods if we can please keep this as a standalone thread. I’m looking for specific advice regarding a unique situation I’m about to describe. I’m not here to have a general debate about how many hours behind a screen constitutes an addiction or anything like that. This is a real, urgent problem, and things are starting to spiral out of control.

My brother is a year younger than me and he's currently a senior in high school. He hasn't shown up to class in days, and the reason seems to be a massive addiction to the internet and online gaming (at least, that's how we see it). He spends literally every waking second at his computer from the moment he gets home until he goes to sleep. I never see him studying, let alone hanging out with friends outside. He was always more of a loner, but even his social circle is mostly online; he doesn't really hang out with people in person or play sports like other "normal" guys his age. But this has escalated into a major crisis. For weeks now, he's been skipping school, claiming he's just "done" with it because his grades are too low and he wants to take a break. Now he's saying he plans to finish his diploma through an online equivalency program next year. It was such a shock to my parents and me. No matter how much we talk to him, plead with him, or beg him to just push through this last semester, he stays completely cold and detached. He just sits there, glued to that screen.

Honestly, I’m lost. He keeps trying to convince me that everything is fine—that he's just over school and that plenty of his online friends have done the exact same thing. I can't wrap my head around it. I know something is seriously wrong, but I don't know how to help him. My parents and I have tried setting boundaries, like cutting off the Wi-Fi or even turning off the power, but it backfires completely. He becomes incredibly aggressive, shouting and throwing things for hours until we finally give in and turn it back on. We can't just cut the internet permanently because we need it for work and running our lives.
My mom has reached out to psychologists a few times, but none of them have given us any practical guidance. Everything they say is just generic stuff like "he needs to socialize more," "he should join a club," or "he needs to get into sports." If we even suggest that to him, he just starts screaming at us to leave him alone, insisting he doesn't want those things and that we can't force him.
Right now, I feel like we're hitting a wall. I've spent hours scouring the web, but most of what I find is about younger kids or early teens; I can't find anything useful for someone his age. This forum is honestly our last resort. I'm hoping someone here has dealt with something similar or knows someone who has. Or, if anyone knows if there's a specific psychological diagnosis for this kind of behavior, please let me know so I know what to search for. We are truly desperate.😢

Then start taking him out—you know, actually getting him out of the house and around his friends... 🤷
Finishing high school is a massive turning point—honestly, it’s just as much of a life-altering milestone as graduating from college.
The whole crew would have fallen apart anyway—so honestly, it doesn’t matter if he triggers the collapse himself by becoming totally obsessed with his computer, or if it just happens the way things usually go down. It’s all the same in the end.
Don't even get me started on the job prospects after graduation—it’s a whole other level of frustration.

lonehawk81 said:Thanks to everyone who’s jumped in so far with advice. I just wanted to add one thing: contrary to what a few people mentioned above, neither my parents nor I ever told my brother to just go sit at his computer to calm down. It was actually the exact opposite—we were always telling him to turn it off more often so he could hang out with us, watch a movie, run errands, or just talk. So, I really don't think he was being neglected.

Regarding the suggestions about seeing a psychiatrist, we've thought about it several times ourselves. Honestly, it felt unthinkable at first because we didn't view him as "sick," but now we'd try anything just to help him. The catch is, as > and > pointed out, he doesn't even realize there's an issue. The second we even mention a psychologist or a psychiatrist, he just shakes his head and calls us crazy for thinking he needs it. We've tried to talk him into going for just one session, but nothing works.

>, you mentioned that you had to hospitalize your cousin. I'm really curious how you managed that? Did he go willingly, or was it more of an involuntary situation?

You’re forgetting that puberty isn't some universal experience where everyone hits the same milestones at the exact same time—and let's be honest, for a lot of kids, those years aren't exactly "quality time" material. You know, sitting around the living room watching TV with your parents? Yeah, most teenagers aren't exactly itching to hang out like that.
If you actually want to pull someone away from an "addiction"—or whatever pseudo-obsession they're clinging to—you can't just tell them to stop. You have to offer them something that’s genuinely, undeniably more tempting. That's just how it works.

lonehawk81 said:First off, I’d like to ask the mods if we can please keep this as a standalone thread. I’m looking for specific advice regarding a unique situation I’m about to describe. I’m not here to have a general debate about how many hours behind a screen constitutes an addiction or anything like that. This is a real, urgent problem, and things are starting to spiral out of control.

My brother is a year younger than me and he's currently a senior in high school. He hasn't shown up to class in days, and the reason seems to be a massive addiction to the internet and online gaming (at least, that's how we see it). He spends literally every waking second at his computer from the moment he gets home until he goes to sleep. I never see him studying, let alone hanging out with friends outside. He was always more of a loner, but even his social circle is mostly online; he doesn't really hang out with people in person or play sports like other "normal" guys his age. But this has escalated into a major crisis. For weeks now, he's been skipping school, claiming he's just "done" with it because his grades are too low and he wants to take a break. Now he's saying he plans to finish his diploma through an online equivalency program next year. It was such a shock to my parents and me. No matter how much we talk to him, plead with him, or beg him to just push through this last semester, he stays completely cold and detached. He just sits there, glued to that screen.

Honestly, I’m lost. He keeps trying to convince me that everything is fine—that he's just over school and that plenty of his online friends have done the exact same thing. I can't wrap my head around it. I know something is seriously wrong, but I don't know how to help him. My parents and I have tried setting boundaries, like cutting off the Wi-Fi or even turning off the power, but it backfires completely. He becomes incredibly aggressive, shouting and throwing things for hours until we finally give in and turn it back on. We can't just cut the internet permanently because we need it for work and running our lives.
My mom has reached out to psychologists a few times, but none of them have given us any practical guidance. Everything they say is just generic stuff like "he needs to socialize more," "he should join a club," or "he needs to get into sports." If we even suggest that to him, he just starts screaming at us to leave him alone, insisting he doesn't want those things and that we can't force him.
Right now, I feel like we're hitting a wall. I've spent hours scouring the web, but most of what I find is about younger kids or early teens; I can't find anything useful for someone his age. This forum is honestly our last resort. I'm hoping someone here has dealt with something similar or knows someone who has. Or, if anyone knows if there's a specific psychological diagnosis for this kind of behavior, please let me know so I know what to search for. We are truly desperate.😢

And what exactly is the point of Wi-Fi networks, tablets, and smartphones? Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if we've lost the plot entirely. 😁
Honestly, using a mobile hotspot or a tablet while sipping some hot chocolate? That’s a top-tier way to handle things. $4.00 Either go with a steady monthly plan that gives you a solid chunk of data—we’re talking around the Candy Land gigabyte range—or just... what? Stick to nothing? It's about having a reliable connection. $15.
It feels like every single day there’s another budget-friendly smartphone hitting the market that runs Windows and comes pre-loaded with Microsoft Office—they're popping up everywhere lately, almost like mushrooms after a rainstorm.